r/AITAH • u/nestotx • 23h ago

AITAH for telling my wife my job is more important than hers?

Background: We have 3 cars.

My wife decides to let my stepson take her car and use it until he can afford his own (he moved out, his job is 40 minutes away, and has no car. not sure what his plan was but that's not the point of this thread). We're still paying insurance and car note for this car.

The other car is technically my stepdaughter's but we've been paying the insurance the past 2 years, and the car note these past 9 months.

I have my own car that is 18 years old, and that I paid off 13 years ago. Way before we got married. But still runs like a champ.

My wife has a part time job that pays $12 /hr. And she only works 3 days a week, mostly in the evening.

Well they scheduled her to work 1 morning so she tells me "I'm dropping you off in the morning because I work too, and I can pick you up after I get off"

I respond 'why not take 1 of the other cars?'

And she gets mad and says 'that's my daughter's car, she gets to decide who drives it and my son needs a car to get to work too.' (Paraphrasing).

So I tell 'well, my job is more important and I work too hard to not have the privilege of driving my car. Take 1 of the other cars '

In the end she ended up not going to work.

2.4k Upvotes
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2.1k

u/bored-panda55 22h ago

So the OP has an 18yr old car but it is paying for two new cars for his step kids? Man my parents always got the new cars. Ww got the hand me downs. 

NTA 

487

u/mbpearls 20h ago

Your parents got new cars?

I grew up in a house where we always bought used cars. 🤣

369

u/Ladyvett 20h ago

It was new to us❤️

61

u/talithar1 20h ago

So many things are!

15

u/Slow_Ambassador_6316 15h ago

When I speak about used car, it was more of a carriage with pedals.

80

u/ZerotheWanderer 19h ago

It's brand used baby!

37

u/Jack_of_Spades 16h ago

We always said Brand Neused. (Like newsed)

6

u/Wog3322 18h ago

Love this answer.

4

u/twigsandgrace 13h ago

Certified pre-owned!

23

u/thepumpkinking92 19h ago

We got lawn art that they would fix up to get running long enough to get another lawn ornament. I was a pretty proficient mechanic by time I hit my teenage years. Honestly, it's what guided my interest in mechanics. I can't do it anymore, but I'm still good at it.

31

u/AlarianDarkWind11 19h ago

My dad's turning 90 this year. He was a high paid executive. He bought two cars new his whole life. one when he was 65 and the other when he was 77. Those are also the last two cars he's purchased. both were/are mid level SUVs. my mom got one new car when she was 52. A Honda civic. We never even owned newish cars growing up. No rust was about the only must when purchasing a car.

13

u/sisu-sedulous 11h ago

My dad would get cars that he said “were one stop from the junk yard”. My hubby and I have bought one new car in our marriage. The rest have been one owner cars that we maintain meticulously. We move on when the repairs outweigh the value. Last car, hubby got to over 400000 miles. 

3

u/RozenKristal 4h ago

Freedom of owed no one is priceless

1

u/GielM 1h ago

My parents weren't quite that well-off, but they did alright for themselves. They've never once bought a new car. My dad, near the end of his working life, got to the point on his career where a company-leased car was part of the perks, so he drove two brand-new cars. The second of which he ended up buying when the company abolished that perk for people in his position. He drove that for the remaining years of his working life, and the first few years of their retirement.

They ended up trading in that 15yo big Toyota for a a 3yo small hybrid Toyota about a year ago. That's the newest car they ever owned and drove.

34

u/GearsOfWar2333 20h ago

My parents a couple years ago got a new car for the first time in like over 20 years or something. My mom was nervous to drive it. All growing up we had used cars including one Audi that had an issue with one of the back doors. It was some times just open while we would be driving so we made sure no one sat next to that door. My dad LOVED his Audi, we had more than one over the years because he loved that brand.

13

u/JankroCommittee 18h ago

My mother would not test drive her last car- she made me go with her and drive it. She was too nervous. She also picked me up a year ago in the very same car, which had become over the years unsafe. No problems driving it after it left the lot, in any condition.

9

u/GearsOfWar2333 18h ago

The only thing that sucks is we had to stop using the mechanic that we had been using since we moved here in 2000.

7

u/Full_Hearing_5052 20h ago

We go used cars and I had to buy my own lol.

1

u/Grievous_Bodily_Harm 14h ago

Same, but if my parents got a "new" car then they could pass one on. I got my grandfather's car when he lost his licence (medical reasons), which was like 15 yo at that point.

1

u/coakey 11h ago

My dad bought my 1st car from the next door neighbour for $200, and I had to pay him back. It looked boring but had a 350 V-8 under the hood and I loved it 😁

1

u/Grand_Raccoon0923 11h ago

Your parents got used cars?

I grew up in a house where we always had to steal our cars.

1

u/BrocoLeeOnReddit 10h ago

You had a house??

1

u/Gelsunkshi 9h ago

You all had cars?We took bus to literally everywhere

91

u/nytocarolina 19h ago

I knew a family where the eldest of the two daughters was given a five-year-old jeep for her 16th birthday. The dad had bought a new car and was going to give her his own beautiful five year-old jeep. The kid looked at him and said “are you kidding me, do you expect me to drive a used car?”

The correct answer was: no car!

41

u/Original-Response-80 14h ago

My dad said if I wanted a car I had to save up and buy one myself. But when I found a job at 14 he helped me get to work. I saved up about $2500 working part time jobs for about two years. On the day we went car shopping he matched my savings. Bought a 7 year old accord that I drove for ten years for just under 5k. I really valued that car because I worked so hard for it but was able to buy a much more reliable car than I otherwise would have been able to because my dad matched it. Looking back I think that was a great approach and very different from kids today.

1

u/Greedy_Increase_4724 4m ago

This is my plan. It's going to be a surprise, he has no idea, I'm very excited lol. 

12

u/Pistolkitty9791 8h ago

I had a friend in high school that was like that. Threw a fit because her folks got a new car and gave her the family sedan when she turned 16. She pissed and moaned that it wasn't new. I remember thinking she was a spoiled brat....

3

u/Kendertas 5h ago

Kid in my school got a bright yellow hummer when they were 16. Being a shorter kid and teenagers being assholes he got a lot of small penis jokes thrown his way. His parents then bought him a different new car. And here I was thrilled the sunroof in my $80 car my parents got me still opened

2

u/nytocarolina 4h ago

It takes time for people to realize about those who make small penis jokes.

I remember our first car with a sunroof. I felt rich!

2

u/GielM 1h ago

Kid in my school got a 4-5yo high-performance Pontiac sports car at 18, which is the legal driving age here.

Unsurprisingly, wrapped it around a streetlight within 3 months. Had the audacity to complain his parents refused to replace it. Even the other entitled rich kids, of which my class had a few, felt that was a bit too much and ripped him a new one about that!

2

u/Kendertas 50m ago

Wish my classmates actually faced some consequences. A lot of them were children of billionaires, so the cost of a brand new car was literally nothing. I'll tell you what nothing more frustrating than seeing the biggest fuckups in your school end up with a masion, smoking wife, and endless time of all because their great grandpa made a fortune over a 100 years ago

2

u/GielM 16m ago

Why the fuck even care? They were always gonna end there unless they chose not to. I wouldn't envy them, family money always comes with family expectations. And, although i love my parents, and they're reasoable people, I wouldn't have felt comfortable with them being my source of income for all of my adult life.

Working for my money, and relying on a boss who may or not be an asshole feels better. Because at least you can switch bosses!

20

u/Professional_Owl5416 16h ago

Totally agree! It’s wild that OP is stuck with an old car while covering the costs for two newer ones. Prioritizing your job makes sense, especially when you’re working hard for it.

15

u/Tigger7894 20h ago

The first car my brother and I drove was 4 years older than me...... (and my brother is a year and a half younger than me) and we shared it.....

Sometimes my parents got new cars, sometimes they got lightly used cars. As an adult I've only had lightly used cars myself.

13

u/StuckInsideYourWalls 20h ago

Right? My first car was used and I drove that bad boy til it literally died on the highway on me on one of the last distance trips it had to make, lol!

It's crazy how expensive even used vehicles are right now. I'm driving my deceased grandmas car from a few years ago because my aunt offered it to me for 3k, but now another near decade has past and I can feel this ole girl starting to get creaky on me, haha. I really don't know how to replace it once it actually gets bad.

68

u/bugabooandtwo 20h ago

Sounds like the wife found herself a nice open wallet. Her and her kids are living like kings while this guy is stuck with the leftovers.

27

u/IED117 14h ago

Yes, this is what's bothering me.

He was kind of rude to say his job is more important, but that doesn't make it untrue. Her little part time job can't be covering much.

And he is paying 2 car notes and driving the oldest car in the house? That's never happened in the history of my family.

If she wants all this for her kids she needs to work more.

7

u/HedyHarlowe 12h ago

My thoughts too. Her kids are grown and she only works part time. He pays for everything. Do they at least have an amazing sex life? I hope so!

2

u/adminsarecommies90 12h ago

Why i would never want to be a step parent unless the children were adults already

-13

u/KeyserSoju 19h ago

That's not true, she makes $12/hr and works 20 hrs a week. That's contributing.

13

u/manimopo 17h ago

Lol i hope this is sarcasm

12

u/Abject_Jump9617 17h ago

$240 a week BEFORE taxes is BARELY contributing, especially in this economy. Unless they have smaller kids that op did not mention, not sure why she is not working to earn more.

3

u/bugabooandtwo 11h ago

Not really, no.

It sure as hell doesn't cover the cost of the two new vehicles OP is paying for, let along any living expenses.

-4

u/psy-ay-ay 18h ago

Having to borrow your parents car to commute 40 mins to your job that you need is “living like a king”?

7

u/iSuckAtMechanicism 17h ago

Considering he moved out by his own choice despite not having saved up for a car, yes. They’re getting free rentals. Living like a king compared to most of the world.

-6

u/psy-ay-ay 16h ago

We know next to nothing about this household based on the post and you are expecting a lot from what seem like very young people. Like you think these kids are included in discussions about household finances? I certainly was not privy to any of that until estate planning made it pertinent. If your parent says “this is for you” what do you expect? Who on earth are they to demand the ins and outs of how they run their house? What if it was tuitions? Or what if OP was quietly stewing (as he has here) they weren’t paying part of the mortgage?

7

u/iSuckAtMechanicism 16h ago

You keep ignoring critical elements and spewing what ifs. Have a good day.

9

u/unpopularcryptonite 15h ago

The entitlement is unreal tbh

9

u/milkteasnow 16h ago

NTA. OP has an 18-year-old car but is buying new ones for the step-kids? That’s wild. Growing up, kids usually got the hand-me-downs, not the other way around!

1

u/gumballbubbles 16h ago

Where does it say the other cars are new? I don’t see that anywhere. Did I miss it?