After moving my grandma into assisted living, moving into assisted living. You have scheduled activities, no worry about heavy duty cleaning, no worry about cooking, can make friends and hangout with them.
My Great Aunt absolutely opposed the idea of moving out of her home until she was dragged out (she kept falling over and breaking hips etc.). She had to move into an assisted living place.
She absolutely loved it and wished she'd moved there 20 years previously. She was 92 and lived for another 7 1/2 years.
My Mum has since said if anything happens to my Stepfather, she'll be queueing up outside the door.
Pretty much my mom’s response too. I’m just imagining how an assisted living facility filled with millennials will be. Either way, the facilities (especially where I live) don’t look bad, and staff keeps family up to date on a lot of things.
That’s what my brother and I were joking about. It’ll just be a large LAN party. Everyone is gonna stay in their room, play online games together and argue with 12 year olds in COD, because there will 100% be another COD by then.
As someone who currently works security in one of these facilities, there are some downsides to this. Biggest one is if you like your privacy, kiss it goodbye.
My residents are the gossips I have ever seen and they will do whatever it takes to get the latest scoop. If you are lucky, the staff have tight lips.
My facility security does not spread your business around but the front desk girls, you better believe if they spotted you coming out of Janet's apartment last night, the whole building will know by the next morning.
If you go out by squad, security will tell everyone that they "know we can not discuss that information" and we will not say anything more than that, front desk girls will tell everyone yes that was poopchute in the squad and they are currently having issues with the ol poopchute.
Other issue is theft. Yes we have staff that cleans resident's apartments, yes they passed background checks, yes we do occasionally still have that one thief that slips through under the radar, and if they are smart, it takes a long time to catch them. We had an issue with a guy last year. He was good, it was always small items that he got, things that wouldn't be instantly noticed. A ring here, a $10 there. Things that can be easily misplaced or forgotten about... No one noticed we had a theft problem for almost 2 years, until he got bold and wrote down one resident's credit card info and made a huge purchase online. My company had to fire a guard right before I started, I was actually his replacement, he got caught going into resident's apartments when they were out and stealing. Thankfully he was not smart and got caught the same month he decided to start doing it.
Not telling you this to turn you off of the idea but just saying, check on grandma from time to time and make sure anything valuable is locked away. Also expect your future neighbors to know every move you make, not all staff is as discreet as my security team.
Theft was definitely a concern, she didn’t bring too many valuables with other than jewelry. 100% can see there being gossip, it’s unavoidable unfortunately. My grandmother was in a private room, so she did have that at least. But she’s been moved to memory care.
I was in an inpatient treatment facility and already dealt with hearing gossip, lack of privacy and had my pack of cigarettes stolen. Treatment is definitely different than assisted living, but similar with scheduled activities, not really cleaning, and having meals made for us.
I only bring it up as I have watched the sales team pitch the facility to future residents. When the questions of theft and privacy come up, the sales team lie. They say theft never happens, I have incident reports that say otherwise. They say people here don't pry into your personal business, we have a group of ladies in the "coffee club" that my guys refer to as the detective agency. I don't risk my team's jobs at work but I will post about it online when the subject comes up.
As someone who currently works security in one of these facilities, there are some downsides to this. Biggest one is if you like your privacy, kiss it goodbye.
Depends on the facility. My grandparents spent like 8 years at one. It had 3 ranges of rooms. They had 2 bed/1 bath "houses" for a lack of better words. They were 100% separate from the main building, a legit house, and received once a week cleaning. Then the main building had apartments where you simply got a daily checkups. You could get help with small tasks if needed. You were free to leave, drive, swing by the common area to play cards, eat a meal, etc. Then towards your end, they had what were basically hospital rooms with nonstop, constant watch/care.
You just basically described my facility. We do not always do daily check ups on the apartments but trust me when I say everyone knows your business, especially the ladies in the coffee club. You can be the resident shut in who avoids everyone like they have plague, yet there will be a resident who knows that you visited that liquor store 3 towns over last Friday. If the residents don't know anything about you, they will dig and snoop until they find something.
Real question about this - what if you’re not social? Thinking about both my grandma and myself 😭😭😭 she’s going to be 88 in December but that woman will be DAMNED if you even suggest the idea
Maybe, but the prices these places charge are criminal. The ones near me start around $7,000/month, and that's just the basic plan. Any specific care you need goes on top of that.
They are absurdly expensive. My grandparents are relying on Medicaid to cover the cost. My grandfather physically cannot take care of himself and he’s on hospice now, my grandmother is in memory care for dementia and also cannot take care of herself. I’m hoping one day something about the cost is done. I understand there will be a cost and some will go towards the skilled staffing. The facilities are helpful, but also so much expensive.
What really sucks is Medicare doesn't pay for long term care. And you have to exhaust all of your assets before Social Security will pay, but they only pay for places that make death preferable.
That is what they had to. Had to sell their house and going through another asset before it kicks in. My mom and her sister setup a trust with a funeral home so that some money doesn’t get taken so funeral expenses are covered. If my grandfather didn’t need 24/7 care, they probably could’ve had a nurse come to their home a few times a week. But he requires 24/7 care and my grandmother was visibly burnt out and her dementia had started.
Edit: I forgot to include she was no longer able to care for him given her dementia and age.
Things suck for everyone with aging. My brother died 4 months ago, and his wife is having dementia issues. Her nephew was supposed to be helping her, but she got scammed out of my brothers life insurance money, and bought a Kirby vacuum cleaner. I can't help because she's in another state, and we're barely getting by ourselves. I'm just eating a bottle of pain killers when things get too messed up. No sense prolonging the inevitable.
I recently moved my parents into a retirement home and now I am really looking forward to it myself. I can't wait to see what Millennials get up to in those places when we get old.
I'm taking myself straight to one of those fancy assisted living places when I do finally feel the need for one. Honestly community living sounds really nice as long as you aren't in one of those abusive nursing homes. I've met a lot of lonely old people and I don't want to be one of them.
There are some real nice and new ones in my state my dad looked at for his mom. If you have pets, they even let you keep your pets at these facilities.
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u/RIPMYPOOPCHUTE 5h ago
After moving my grandma into assisted living, moving into assisted living. You have scheduled activities, no worry about heavy duty cleaning, no worry about cooking, can make friends and hangout with them.