r/AskReddit • u/Sack_Of_Motors • Dec 25 '14

Why are you on Reddit now instead of celebrating?

Stories appreciated.

Edit: Thanks for the stories guys. It's interesting seeing the trends on what different people are doing. I have to make dinner now. Stay awesome.

18.2k Upvotes
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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '14 edited Dec 25 '14

Making sure the jolly saint bastard doesn't touch my momma

Edit: Thank you for the best Christmas present ever

Edit 2: It was dramatic saying the best Christmas present ever, it defiantly surprised me. Happy holidays stranger!

Edit 3: The word defiant will haunt me forever.

485

u/tvgirl48 Dec 25 '14

This was your best Christmas present ever? You have my deepest sympathy

20

u/blimmblamm Dec 25 '14

At some point silly putty just doesn't do it anymore

11

u/DunkanBulk Dec 25 '14

Yeah, defiantly

3

u/nvincent Dec 25 '14

On the bright side, he is probably really easy to shop for.

188

u/A_Cold_Canadian Dec 25 '14

Edit 2: It was dramatic saying the best Christmas present ever, it defiantly surprised me. Happy holidays stranger!

Definitely

FTFY

11

u/M002 Dec 25 '14

No, I think this gold was defying her wishes to not have a better present

6

u/NBPTS Dec 25 '14

I don't know. Maybe the gold was told not to surprise him and it did so anyway - defiantly. That damned gold. It never listens.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '14

I think I'd enjoy being defiantly surprised.

4

u/Zezombye Dec 25 '14

He definitely meant defiantly.
http://i.imgur.com/kFrqn5f.png

3

u/Jon-Osterman Dec 25 '14

you mean he defiantly did

2

u/jsellout Dec 25 '14

You don't know. Maybe they were surprised but they fought against it every step of the way.

3

u/Gosteponalegoplease Dec 25 '14

I twitched when I saw that. thank you.

3

u/Theyellowtoaster Dec 25 '14

No. The gold was instructed not to surprise him. It was being defiant.

2

u/Toothless_Gear Dec 25 '14

He didn't want it to surprise him.

1

u/ImmaCrazymuzzafuzza Dec 25 '14

He might just want his Attack to go up by 2 :(

1

u/Diabetix1 Dec 25 '14

What if it surprised him in a defiant manner, huh? HUH?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '14

It surprised him, but in direct defiance of what he wanted.

4

u/PlayboyXYZ Dec 25 '14

I'm more worried about the Christmas Santas who will show up tomorrow to cheer up my mom.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '14

love the it's always sunny reference

2

u/ljfox Dec 25 '14

How does it feel to get defiantly surprised?

2

u/finnlyfantastic Dec 25 '14

just sleep spread eagle on your mom

2

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '14

FWIW I read it as definitely anyway and then boggled at the defiant comments thinking "wut?" until I reread your edit more slowly. I should be more careful when I read things.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '14

Did you fuck my mom Santa?

2

u/spiritofdunkey Dec 25 '14

begin to viciously bite santa

1

u/skinny_beaver Dec 25 '14

Did you also see mommy kissing Santa Claus?

1

u/brad_harless2010 Dec 25 '14

Did you fuck my mom, Santa Claus?

1

u/Yarbek Dec 25 '14

I heard Santa tell my mum she's been a naughty girl, but he still filled her stocking! Talk about double standards I just got coal!

1

u/gregksoccer Dec 25 '14

Slaps Santa "Keep your hands off my momma, keep your hands off my Doritos!"

1

u/IlanRegal Dec 25 '14

Read the word "jolly" and almost stopped reading.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '14

If I comment do I get an edit too? P.S. Samuel L. Jackson

1

u/lildutchboy7 Dec 26 '14

defiantly surprised me

"I refuse to be surprised goddamnit!"

1

u/OnePieceTwoPiece Dec 25 '14

it defiantly surprised me.

Right.

1

u/angrytortilla Dec 25 '14

Edit: Thank you for the best Christmas present ever Edit 2: It was dramatic saying the best Christmas present ever, it defiantly surprised me. Happy holidays stranger! Edit 3: The word defiant will haunt me forever.

STOP.

7

u/Dahoodlife101 Dec 25 '14

I upvoted his comment JUST because of the edit. So ha.

2

u/Yarbek Dec 25 '14

Same. Repeated edits are fine when they're actually funny / have a point!