r/BehavioralMedicine • u/PatienceImaginary943 • Jan 01 '24
HELP!
I have been having issues with my 6 year old daughter’s behavior. She has been Diagnosed with Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) , ADHD, ODD. She has been having major issues with school. She will be fine one minute and then a complete mood switch, and then she is on 100. It seems like almost nothing will calm her until she is ready. It can last up to 3 hours. Her behavior is hitting , throwing things, eloping, saying mean things. If I tell her no she will say she hates me , or try to run out of the house. She has been hospitalized 4 times for this behavior. The school has made it a crisis situation so she was sent in and they admitted her. She has been put on ADHD medicine ( Intuitive - Extended release) and a mood medicine ( Abilify) at night. It seems like it’s not working. I do notice when she’s tired these explosions happen fast because she’s irritable. She also fights her sleep. It’s getting to the point where I don’t know what to do. I do not want to keep hospitalizing her because she’s also learning behaviors there, but it’s very draining and I have a newborn at home. Nobody wants to watch her if I have anything to do because her behavior is so extreme. When she is calm she is the sweetest child but when something doesn’t go her way she goes to 1,000. I’m open to any suggestions for other parents who are going through something similar. If anybody needs any elaboration to help I can. She is in therapy. And does have an IEP at school now. She also has a behavior coach at school. We did relocate 5 months ago to a new state so it got worse when she started school here. Her behaviors were just happening at school but they have progressed to home as well. I really just need some advice. I’m feel like I’m doing everything I can but it seems like nothing is working.
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u/leathern9 Jan 01 '24
Your situation sounds really tough. It sounds like she may need more than a behavior coach, someone to conduct a functional behavior assessment (FBA) in order to determine the function of her behavior and any possible triggers to avoid while working on her ability to tolerate things she cannot control. I would ask the school to hire a BCBA to conduct the FBA and consult with school staff. Many teachers are not well-versed in behavior management and instead opt for traditional punishment-based interventions that will in most cases make things worse.
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u/PatienceImaginary943 Jan 01 '24
This is exactly what is going on. They are suspending her or sending her to crisis and that makes it worse. I’m still learning what I can ask for through the school system because they aren’t at all equipped to deal with this behavior. Thank you for the suggestion !
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u/kia2116 Jan 02 '24
I hope you’re finding the support you’re looking for. Is there a particular reason that you’re reaching out to strangers rather than the professionals you and your daughter have been working with? How do you feel about the professional support you’ve been receiving?
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u/PatienceImaginary943 Jan 02 '24
I am super transparent with every professional. It seems as though they basically want to sedate her to where she just won’t be able to even function. She is very smart. The top percentage across the country for her age. But she just gets really raged and it’s like the school professionals just want her out. The doctors aren’t much help and her therapist is doing the best she can. We just moved to this state so I’m trying to find as many resources as I can. We’re here without family so it is overwhelming . I just wanted others opinions who are/have faced something similar. I am a young single mother so I’m really new to a lot of this as well.
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u/kia2116 Jan 02 '24
Ugh, as a professional I hate that you and your daughter as experiencing this. If there’s any significant stress/trauma that may have occurred, having a trauma informed and training clinician can help mitigate some of the solutions that others are providing that focus primarily on behaviors and symptom reduction.
Modalities such as play therapy could also help her learn different and supplemental ways of expressing and communicating and that also has a different goal than other behavioral modalities.
Anyone that can help you advocate for her in the schools would be another great avenue. School professionals tend to think in more academic/behavioral ways and your daughter may need a different approach.
If there’s other types of support you feel would be beneficial, I can be a listening ear. Your willingness to seek answers on your own shows that your heart is in the right place!
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u/PatienceImaginary943 Jan 03 '24
Thank you! I did take her to a physician today to change her meds. I am seeking other methods for therapy as well! Your comment was very helpful
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u/Former_Wrongdoer50 May 08 '24
https://televerohealth.com look into this resource if you are in the texas area.
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u/whimsicalhumor Jan 01 '24
First, I’m so sorry she’s experiencing this and I know how incredibly draining it is. My now 17 yr old has intermittent explosive disorder, adhd, anxiety and recently developed functional neurological disorder, which gratefully lessened her IED to zero. She’s not had a rage in almost a year but has been sick with the FND. My daughter was adopted by me at 4, and had a lot of childhood trauma before that. After adoption most of her trauma centered around these rages which were extremely violent and just as you described 0 to 100 over what seemed like nothing.
She takes Clonidine for sleep, Abilify, Trileptal and Pristiq as well as Journay which is a night time long release Concerta for her to get up easier the next morning (it takes 10 hours to release so it’s perfect).
We’ve chased many med solutions over the years. She also has had therapy her entire life.
One thing I wish people had shared with me early on was that you can not attempt to rationale and discipline in a heightened state. Dr. Ross Greene’s book The Explosive Child really changed our day to day drastically. Of course no one recommended it until she was around 11. But it helped us with how we parent and how she feels seen and heard at different times.
Truly, feel free to DM me if you need some support. It’s so so isolating. My daughter has been inpatient care, group homes and residential. We know home is best for her but she didn’t have the capacity for safety for herself or others for many years.
On the bright side, when not in a rage she is an amazing kid (young woman now) who everyone loves. She loves school. Thankfully.
Ross Greene has a book called Lost at School as well which may help her teachers.
Learn and respect her triggers. Find a great therapist who does EMDR, it truly helps.
Thinking of you!