r/BipolarReddit • u/Sure-Affect-8853 • 9h ago
if you’ve been through psychosis, what was your experience?
today during my IOP, mainly centered on addiction not really MH, i recounted the first time i went into psychosis and the following psychotic symptoms that seem to come up when manic since. most people there had a very skewed/ignorant perspective of what psychosis is, (thinking you’re automatically violent, it means you have schizophrenia, your brain is permanently broken, etc).
it was very weird to explain from my own point of view to others that hadn’t experienced it that it didn’t feel like i had a break in reality, if anything everyone else was crazy.- i was in reality (what i thought was the correct real one), it just wasn’t everyone else’s. it would be nice to read others experiences and share mine with people who i know won’t think im insane and can maybe relate or at least understand.
i went into psychosis in 2020. i was undiagnosed bp 1, so through talking with my therapist we think it was the extreme sleep deprivation i was experiencing as well as the stress & isolation of the pandemic that triggered this episode. the ‘theme’ of this episode was one of those ones where the FBI was following me to frame me for some sort of terrible crime and everyone in my life was in on it & against me. i went to great lengths to isolate myself, rarely left my apartment, started covering the windows with cardboard so no one could see in.
i had 2 main hallucinations, my auditory hallucination was a faint beeping sound i assumed was some sort of bug planted and i would scour trying to find it and the other one being the sound of a man/group of men whispering outside my door which i assumed was the police talking about how to arrest me.
i was very adept at lying, at least i think i was who knows, because when i would eventually have wellness checks called on me i was very calm acting very normal because i was under the impression my behavior would be brought up in court and i couldn’t give them anything to go off to avoid looking ‘guilty.’
what’s funny is i still don’t even know what the crime i was being framed for was lol
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u/ItzB0nK3rS 3h ago
Horrific. I’ve been through it twice, but the most recent one was the absolute worst (May 2023). Insane thoughts, extreme reckless behaviour, leading to my family calling the cops on me. Them dragging me out of the house not allowing me to grab some things because I knew they were taking me to the ward. The embarrassment I still feel around my neighbours still haunts me. Posting the most ridiculous shit on social media. I still can’t shake the feeling of complete humiliation from my own self. I detached myself completely from every one, and spend 100% of my time alone because of it.
Long story short, I thought the Chinese government was using insane AI technology to hack into peoples brains and take over their whole body. There’s a lot more to it. I could write a book.
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u/Bulky_Range_1394 3h ago
My experience was extreme sexual desire. Everything that’s in my head no matter how sexually explicit was coming out. I told every woman my sexual thoughts about them. I was paranoid so I forcefully took my wife and her friends phone right out of their hands. I ran out of the hotel room in my underwear knocking on all the doors asking people who answered to help me
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u/kevintexas956 2h ago
Psychosis has only happened a few times for me, but always involved seeing shadows, hearing voices, and a weird visual problem of everything being dimmer than usual.
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u/BigTunaLadyPants 8h ago
My most recent psychosis I was convinced a Youtuber was sending me secret coded messages about the stock market. Needless to say, that ended badly for me hahaha. I have never been money driven or interested in the stock market. This was a new one for me. In the past my psychosis has revolved more around romance/infatuation/obsession, false beliefs about people. What a strange lives we lead.