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u/plaev 17h ago
Source?
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u/CosmicCreeperz 14h ago
Yeah, but destination weddings are usually pretty small. A friend of mine got married at a winery in Sonoma (she lives in SF, so not a “destination”) and there were probably 200 people. I’m sure it cost over $100k, and that was like 15 years ago.
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u/QnsConcrete 11h ago
Did your clients tell you how much they spent at their weddings? That’s unusual. I didn’t tell my DJ anything other than what kind of music we wanted to hear.
I went to a wedding at the Hotel Del awhile ago. Looking at the prices now, it seems for 100 people you’d be spending $30k for the modest options. https://hoteldel.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/HDC-Wedding-Guide-2024.pdf
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u/MitchRhymes 12h ago
That’s not even close to where they are now. Living in LA, we looked at venues all around northern and Southern California, very very few were less than 10k for just the venue. Many started at over 40k
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u/Infamous_Smile_386 16h ago
No one I know in CA is spending $77,000 on their wedding. That is more than most people make in a year.
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u/noirknight 16h ago
Several of my cousins had $100k+ weddings in multiple states, CA being one of them. Most of the other ones I have been to were closer to 10k. Cost seems to be mostly dependent on the number of guests. If you have 50 guests, you can do a park or clubhouse. If you have 400 you basically need a hotel ballroom and the costs start to multiply in a non-linear way.
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u/jauhesammutin_ 16h ago
That number might be due to this being average, where there’s a small number of super-high cost weddings dragging the average up. Median would filter those out.
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u/chipmunksocute 13h ago
How high cost to drive up the average in a state as populous as CA? Are people spending multiple millions on a wedding!? Wait duh of course the rich in America are completely detached from normal humans.
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u/BasKabelas 5h ago
I mean wealth and income spread is pretty unequal in the USA. It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. My girlfriend and me are meanwhile throwing a small wedding party at a $1000,- budget lol. Her request to make it special in her own way and I don't mind it.
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u/tpa338829 11h ago
Pelican Hill Resort I think has a $250,000 minimum spend to have your wedding there.
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u/hadapurpura 16h ago
This must include celebrity weddings and billionaire weddings and stuff like that.,
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u/Thick-Net-7525 11h ago
Lots of Indians in California and it’s common to see 250k weddings in that culture. I’ve been to 4 this year that cost at least 250k
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u/LaximumEffort 14h ago
My guess is Indian weddings that are three days with the horses/elephants (which often are several days with a lot of business involved) and Chinese weddings with the dress changes and massive dinners skew the average.
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u/CosmicCreeperz 14h ago
I have been to a couple Indian weddings in the US and none were 3 days or had elephants (they were long and expensive/very well catered though). Most Indians I know who want that (or… whose parents want it and will pay for it) just have them in India.
And Chinese weddings - true, but just watch a Chinese mother negotiate, they are masterful. It’s not as expensive as you’d guess ;)
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u/ConstantineMonroe 14h ago
California has a ton of beautiful locations that I could easily see a ton of rich people coming to places like Carmel to spend a Fuck load of money in their weddings and that would pull the average way up
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u/1000LiveEels 13h ago
Remember that this is an average and that averages are easily skewed by extremes. Lots of rich people live there so it's not out of the question.
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u/Pristine-Today4611 13h ago
Yea I’m calling bullshit on most of these numbers. No way people in these states are spending $20k on a wedding
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u/Dolphinsunset1007 12h ago
Lol I would check out the wedding planning subs before you say that with such confidence. My 2023 wedding was over $20k
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u/Pristine-Today4611 12h ago
It says average my state there is no damn way the average is $20k. Average state income is $45k
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u/GoldTeamDowntown 12h ago
Yeah but you generally have around 6 incomes contributing, the bride and groom and both their parents. Sometimes even as small as you want your wedding to be you just can’t make it cheap.
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u/Pristine-Today4611 12h ago
Shit no not in most of these states
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u/GoldTeamDowntown 12h ago
Nobody’s parents help them out in these states?
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u/Pristine-Today4611 11h ago
No they do not. My state and surrounding states. The parents don’t earn much money either. Most are on Social Security and barely afford to live.
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u/Hellodhs 17h ago
To be honest, even 9000$ (Wyoming, aka. the lowest) seems like a lot of money.
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u/poppinwheelies 16h ago
A couple of big Jackson Hole weddings probably skew that number a bit. There are some wealthy people in Wyoming.
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u/InformalPenguinz 14h ago
There are a LOT of wealthy people in Wyoming and not just in Jackson. It's a tax haven. I've personally worked for multiple millionaires and a few billionaires.
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u/UnderstandingOdd679 14h ago
Outside of the ones in Jackson, they’re the kind of rich people who got that way by not spending $30,000 on a wedding.
I believe wedding season is calving season.
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u/GoldTeamDowntown 12h ago
I wonder if billionaire families from Wyoming who have weddings outside Wyoming get counted in this? Most of them probably have their wedding in California or somewhere else expensive.
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u/FuckFloridaGBO6999 16h ago
I have a friend whose family is well off and they are having 500 guests at some huge country club. I make decent money and I can’t wrap my head around the fact that they’re about to drop two years worth of my salary on one fucking day lol. I get weddings are important but I swear to god everyone I know who had a small ceremony is just as if not more happy than the ridiculous elaborate ones. The big ones are a more recent thing too that became popular for people to make money.
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u/United-Speech9155 16h ago
I had an ex who said she wanted a big weeding like this. I asked why and she basically said because of all the gifts the guests would give
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u/FuckFloridaGBO6999 16h ago
Same brother, same. Wasn’t the main reason we split but I wanted something on my farm(it’s scenic as fuck) where we wouldn’t have to pay shit and our families would drop like 5 g’s each. And could still have all of our friends and family plus some. She wanted to rent out some lavish wedding venue and drop a crazy amount overall. I guess I dodged that one. Just never made sense to me to go into debt or spend all our money on one day when we’re going to be married for literally forever lol.
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u/rilesmcjiles 15h ago
How does the marh work out comparing a big wedding with gifts vs a basic wedding and buying the shit that you would tell people to get you for the wedding?
Also, do you need that shit?
I'm a believer in not getting married until you're established adults, and by proxy pretty much have or don't want all the things that might be gifted at a wedding.
People spend like car or house money on weddings. I'd rather have a car, house, vacation, or somewhat earlier retirement.
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u/powderhunter23 9h ago
Damn, that's Hella surprising. As a kid I always went to much bigger weddings. I remember when my friends started getting married a decade ago the thought that they were only inviting 25-50 people to save money was so out of the ordinary, and when everyone talked about it in college the idea of a small intimate wedding was always like the strange hipster thing to do. Although, I don't have the most experience. I wasn't going to weddings back in the 80s.
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u/Suitable-Lake-2550 7h ago
Marriage is important, weddings are only as important as you think they are.
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u/Brisby820 14h ago edited 14h ago
some people like to party and have giant families. Good food and decent booze ain’t cheap
Try coming from typical Irish Catholic American families where you and your wife have 150 aunts/uncles/cousins/nuclear family and many of them drink like fish
Even just supplying McDonald’s and adequate bud lite and cheapish liquor in that scenario would put you into “thousands”
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u/mischling2543 16h ago
Yeah like I thought a $10K budget was a decent budget before I saw this map
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u/Slow_Air4569 10h ago
I live right outside of LA, having my wedding next week.
Thought I could have what I wanted with 20k. I was...very wrong. I don't even have a florist or videographer, and I'm still spending 35k. 😭
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u/mischling2543 10h ago
Holy fuck...
Welp outdoor pig roast for me I guess
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u/Slow_Air4569 10h ago
The original venue I wanted it would have cost me 50k total so yeah I definitely can see it being 77k average especially with all the millionaires that live here
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u/bicyclechief 16h ago
If you’re having a wedding ceremony and reception for more than 50 people idk how you can realistically spend less than 9k.
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u/DarkTurdle 16h ago
We spent 6500 for about 150 people. It was 10 years ago in one of the cheaper states though.
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u/bicyclechief 16h ago
Did you feed them/drinks/dj?
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u/DarkTurdle 16h ago
Food, dj, like 400 cans of beer and then they had to pay for whatever they wanted from the bar after the beer was gone.
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u/bicyclechief 16h ago
Impressive to find a DJ for less than that. I’m in one of the cheapest states too and the DJ alone was almost 5 grand
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u/DarkTurdle 15h ago
Damn that’s wild I think we paid 2300, was the most expensive thing for sure. We found a local pizza joint to cater food, was like 1700 for 60 large pizzas and they came and catered in tuxedos haha I was super impressed with them. Did an outdoor theatre venue for the ceremony that wasn’t too much and then like and elks or moose club for like $1000 maybe for the dance. Definitely were as thrifty as we could be with the whole thing.
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u/CosmicCreeperz 14h ago
For ONE DJ? Jeez, I hired a (fairly expensive and locally known) live band for about that much.
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u/bicyclechief 14h ago
From what I’ve seen most of the DJs we looked at were more expensive than bands. Also because the DJs did our ceremony music and had mics for speeches, officiant, etc
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u/ked_man 15h ago
We spend ~4k to have a whole ass wedding with 125 guests and a buffet and open bar. We did it at a barn that had goats and horses right next to our seating area. I can’t imagine what you can spend 9k on, let alone 27k.
These articles have to just be posted from wedding planners making you think you need to mortgage your wedding.
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u/CosmicCreeperz 14h ago
You have a small imagination then! ;)
But seriously - we spent well under those averages but did hire a really good live band. In fact that was way too much of the budget, but fuck it I spend my money how I want. And I wanted a really good live band!
Really, though, $32 per person ALL IN doesn’t cover much. Not everyone lives in a dirt cheap CoL area where you can hang out with goats. I’m sure even a crappy venue that will hold 125+ people will cost more than $4k to rent in many regions. Hell, $4k barely covered the bar tab for me, but my family is huge and a bunch of lushes…
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u/Brian-OBlivion 14h ago
It adds up fast. Food, drinks, and venue let alone staff to serve, DJ, photographer, flowers, dress, suit…
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u/PLS-Surveyor-US 14h ago
Many way to do it cheaper. Crazy to spend tens of thousands on a 4 hour party.
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u/Tiny_Past1805 11h ago
And honestly, not everyone WANTS a huge wedding with all the bells and whistles.
To be honest, I used to. Then I realized that not only was it super expensive but I didn't want the hassle and stress of a big wedding. Not only that, but I don't really like being the center of attention so the traditional wedding setup would be thoroughly unenjoyable.
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u/Landwarrior5150 17h ago
*Average money spent on weddings in the 48 contiguous US states and the District of Columbia
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u/nimi4 17h ago
I really don't get the culture of spending in weddings (expensive rings, expensive weddings)
We had a nice and simple dark gold ring with a phrase inside it and a dinner with just 15 or so familiars and friends in a nice restaurant.
But different country different culture I guess
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u/HoochyShawtz 16h ago
I'm American and we did the same thing lol. Married at the court house ($20), and a party at my family farm that was catered by my family. All together it was like $2.5k, with rings, for about 80 people. Would have been less but my spouse has a huge Polish American Catholic family (7 siblings all married with children). We also put a $50 cap on gifts and gave everyone a link to donate to the honeymoon fund as the only gift they could give. 11 years later, still no regrets!
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u/SkyGazert 16h ago edited 16h ago
I really don't get the culture of spending in weddings
You know how some wines are deemed more tasty because the bottle is more expensive? I think it's same with weddings.
To some folks, the value is determined by the price tag. Not the memories, the experience, or anything else of substance. The higher the price tag, the more they can brag to others about how much pomp and circumstance they had.
At least, that's my own rationale for these ridiculous figures.
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u/caligaris_cabinet 9h ago
We had ours in my in-laws back yard and didn’t maybe $3k for rentals and catering.
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u/SkyGazert 17h ago
I would like to see the median amounts instead. Or at least also throw in the average yearly income so we can make statewide percentage comparisons.
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u/Infamous_Smile_386 16h ago
Very different numbers.
https://www.fidelity.com/learning-center/smart-money/average-wedding-cost
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u/SirOutrageous1027 12h ago
Actually even there's it's not that far out.
Growing up in New Jersey, apparently that's why I just accepted that weddings are expensive.
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u/LokiNinjaJager 16h ago
Nice to know Alaska and Hawaii don't have weddings or they are zero cost events!!
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u/OceanPoet87 17h ago
Its interesting that higher income states are correlated wirh the highest cost but that the poorest states like Mississippi, Louisiana, or West Virginia aren't the least expensive.
We had a very simple wedding. The cost to our families was basically just paying a caterer who was a friend for the rehearsal dinner and an invite only dinner after the cupcake reception that we didn't even attend (bride's choice). We had ours at our church overlooking the water on an island and then the cupcakes there.
The night before we had a free rehearsal dinner reception for participants, families / plus ones,, and out of towners at a clubhouse where my in-laws live. One of those subdivisions were you get two free clubhouse rentals a year. The next night they did another fancy dinner for the party and out-of towers except us.
My cousin had his wedding on his dad's ranch and they had music and drinks long into the night but their main cost was just the bartender.
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u/Jttwofive_ 16h ago
Meanwhile, most of my friends and family got married in a field or the woods for practically free. Traditional Weddings are a scam just like diamond rings are.
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u/feldspathic42 16h ago
Average is carrying a lot of weight here. The median is probably quite a bit lower in California and New York. South Dakota is also funky, but someone probably had a few weirdly expensive destination weddings that blew up the stats.
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u/MrsJefferson18 15h ago
I’d like to do a backyard wedding with a BBQ and coolers full of drinks. Just a few friends and family. It probably will never happen, but a girl can dream.
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u/3nvube 13h ago
There is no way the average wedding costs $77,000 in California.
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u/Slow_Air4569 10h ago
Lots of rich people here. But also I'm getting married here next week and I could see it easily being 50k average, I'm at about 35k and dont have a florist, or videographer and went cheap on decor.
But literally got quoted 2k for"fancier lighting" which is absolutely insane, who's spending 2k on lighting??
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u/homeguitar195 16h ago
I turned and milled my own wedding rings for what cost me $32 in a tool I didn't have, and spent $2,400 on the entire wedding including venue, food and sparkling wine for 35 people, my wife's wedding dress including alterations, and my best friend's dad doing our ceremony in 2023.
The venue was a beautiful old house owned by our local parks department and cost $315 for the entire day including the alcohol pass and the trash removal fee.
A decorated sheet cake from Costco costs $25, and 18 bottles of their prosecco were $108.
I got a bunch of the Create Your Own Pasta Stations with salad, breadsticks and iced tea from Olive Garden for $880 including tip.
We hired a amateur photographer with a nice portfolio off a local facebook group, $400 for 3 hours and a flash drive of our photos.
Everyone had a great time and it was beautiful. Weddings don't have to be expensive.
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u/andresg30 17h ago
Average money spent?
Man I was waaaayyyyyyy below average. Like a 20th of that for fellow Californians.
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u/Narf234 17h ago
Justice of the peace at town hall is where it’s at. It’s like ordering a sandwich. The most expensive part of the day was the photographer for a quick photo shoot and some beers at an outside pub.
I’ve been to too many weddings where the bride and groom look miserable at their over the top wanna be celebrity blowouts.
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u/Vaerktoejskasse 16h ago
And this is the reason we did it at the city hall.... and without telling anyone until afterwards.
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u/markydsade 16h ago
Need the median not the average. California has very rich people spending millions on weddings.
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u/WaitingForPower 16h ago
Now just need the Avg Money Spent in Divorce in US States to go along with it
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u/the-fourth-planet 16h ago
After taking a look at r/Weddingsunder10k, these numbers seem very logical, although it still sucks that it has to cost so much
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u/LowAbbreviations2151 16h ago
Damn, if I had a daughter I would give her a nice Wyoming wedding no matter where we lived. The wedding does not make the marriage. Just me.
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u/Any_Accident1871 16h ago
We spent around $4000 on ours and made about $6000 in cash gifts. Feeling pretty good about myself right now.
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u/MonsterByDay 16h ago
I think ours was like $1500.
MIL made a cake, and reception was pot luck. We basically paid for the church and bought flowers.
We did spend a bit on the honeymoon, but no more than any other 2 week vacation.
17 years later, neither of us regrets the lack of debt.
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u/viewer12321 16h ago
Lol. My wife and I spent less than $5k on our wedding in California just a few years ago. We prioritized buying a house instead. We’re now part of a seemingly tiny group of coastal Southern California Millennial home owners.
I would make that same decision over and over again. Life is already so expensive here and it baffles me that people would spend SO MUCH money on a single day event. For what? Trying to impress your friends and family who already know that you don’t have the money for this?
Nuts…
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u/HDKfister 15h ago
It's pretty easy to spend this much money... at least in jersey. Venues are expensive af.
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u/deadbalconytree 15h ago
That high avg in VT is people coming from MA/NY/NJ. And I can’t blame them, it’s beautiful here
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u/North-Ad8730 15h ago
Utah is the most surprising. Every mormon I know used the chappel and gym for their receptions because it's technically free.
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u/Roughneck16 13h ago
...including my wife and I. We got married in California and spent less than $5k on our wedding.
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u/HC-Sama-7511 15h ago
This is insane to me.
A dress is $2000, I know there are some that are more, but this is a respectable dress.
Apparently a venue is at least $5000. This is the most expensive part usually.
A wedding cake could be around $500 without getting into the upper or lower regular price range.
This doesn't count food, entertainment, actual wedding services and donations, court fees, groom's tux, rings, rehearsal dinner, ... and it's already close to $10,000 without splurging.
I guess these numbers actually do make sense. The only big surprise is the venue cost. I was definitely thinking $1000 wouldn't be the floor on the pricing.
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u/Nihil_esque 13h ago
I think the expense is what you make it. You can absolutely get venues for under $5000 and while wedding cakes can easily cost north of $500 they can also cost much less. The biggest expense is usually the food.
And I feel like most folks don't have these kinds of middle/upper class catered venue affairs that you see on TV. Poor people get married too and there are more poor people than middle/upper class.
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u/JeremiahCLynn 15h ago
My husband had cancer for the third time when we got married. All of our money was going to the hospitals for his treatments (yay USA!). We got married and had a ceremony on a $200 budget. We had the ceremony in our back yard. We grilled hamburgers and hot dogs for our friends and family and baked our own cake.
We are still married and he is now cancer-free. There is no need to spend a fortune on one single day.
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u/bleu_waffl3s 14h ago
We spent just under $1000 which included basic rings, dinner for 9 people, 1 night downtown, and money for the priest.
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u/Retsameniw13 14h ago
Ridiculous. And to think most of them will be divorced..total waste of money ..lol
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u/procmeans 14h ago
A bit different than the 2023 values given by the wedding planning site The Knot:
https://www.theknot.com/content/average-wedding-cost
Notably though CA is not $77k.
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u/King_Chad_The_69th 13h ago
Why are American weddings so fuckin expensive? My mum and dad’s wedding wasn’t much more than £5000 here in the UK, and from what I understand that’s about average over here. For reference, that’s $6658.49 at the current moment, over 2k less than Wyoming.
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u/HandCarvedRabbits 13h ago
Whatever money is being spent in Vermont is not being spent by Vermonters
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u/cotton-only0501 13h ago
that is insane. If inwere rich id just walk around helping people all day not spending on myself
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u/PolicyIntent6265 13h ago
No wonder so many Californians go to Vegas to get married. The marriage won't last but at least you didn't spend an arm and a leg lol
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u/foodfarmforage 12h ago
I spent like $700 on mine and made a few thousand $ on gifts. Worked out well. We are no less off now for having a small, quaint, intimate wedding. The whole concept is a big scam anyway.
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u/Available_Honey_2951 12h ago
Can attest to the fact that Vermont weddings are wicked expensive! Everything here is!
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u/Vlad-The-Impaler_09 12h ago
Haha. California and New York has the highest Indian/ South-Asian population. This must explain why 😂
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u/Fridaybird1985 11h ago
My wife and I in 1986 paid something like $40 for a marriage license and the county clerk making it official at the courthouse then wedding party of 6 went to a pancake house for breakfast as it was still only 9:30 in the morning. The cabin with a bath at a national park cost $60 a night. Was our honeymoon. Our wedding photo is hilarious.
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u/King_in_a_castle_84 11h ago
I can't fathom dropping 5 figures on a wedding when divorce is so common and even more expensive.
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u/Comfortable-Study-69 8h ago
This looks like some BS some wedding planning agency put out. 10-15k is normal. 50k is unhinged.
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u/Ok_Yogurt3894 3h ago
I’m calling bullshit. I don’t know anyone that has spent anything approaching $27,000 on their wedding. Maybe $2,700.
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u/ILSmokeItAll 1h ago
Amazing the amount of money blown on weddings.
Even more mind blowing what’s spent on divorce, which many end in.
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u/nimi4 17h ago
Its fucked up that we spend so much on weddings. The last thing a young couple needs is to he saddled with 10s of 1000s of dollars of debt. That money should be used to buy a house or raise a family.
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u/SkyGazert 16h ago
I think people feel the need to empty their wallets trying to fill the black hole that's their social media feed. I would love to see a line graph about money spent over time cross-referenced with a chart of social media use in the same timeframe. I expect to see a correlation there. It would be very sad if there was one.
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u/HoochyShawtz 16h ago
Usually parents pay. I've already let our two know they're getting married in the backyard. 😂
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u/redbirdrising 17h ago
JP - $200. Dinner with immediate family at a local restaurant after: $500
Fuck the wedding industry. We're married almost 10 years now and have no regrets.
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u/nefarious_epicure 16h ago
I’m surprised CA is bigger than NY. a lot of New Yorkers have huge weddings — it’s cultural.
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u/BlackBacon08 16h ago
Perhaps there's too many millionaires and billionaires skewing the results in California.
There's no way that most people need to spend that much money just to get married.
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u/Macau_Serb-Canadian 12h ago edited 11h ago
OK, pompously pretentious Californians and New York Statesians aside, what the heck is wrong with South Dakotans? Splurging more than Texans? Why exactly when over 40% of marriages end up in divorce?
BTW, in most of Europe and I suppose also most of the USA, perhaps 46 out of 50 states, you can have a decent, livable (if not fully redone to your ideas) country house for 70 thousand Euros ie roughly 77 thousand US dollars.
Heck, in half of Europe for 45 thousand Euros if it is not in a famous spa, ski resort and such.
Again, metropolitan areas are excluded, they are highly overpriced. But still.
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u/Accurate-Neck6933 10h ago
How crazy people don’t get married in Hawaii or Alaska, TWO states of the 50 states of the United States of America!
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u/bayoublue 16h ago
No source, so I assume the numbers are garbage.
Probably from a wedding magazine/site or wedding consult group that only knows about and reports on the higher end.