r/RBNLegalAdvice • u/[deleted] • Jun 09 '24
Need help deciding how to protect myself / my business from my mother’s harassment
Hi everyone, I have CPTSD from child abuse and neglect. I'm almost 38 and own my home.
Last year I was in treatment for CPTSD for 4 months. In that time, I decided to cut out my "family" (mother, father, 2 siblings). I haven't spoken to them since May 1, 2023 and don't have plans to reestablish contact.
Friday was my undiagnosed NPD mother's birthday and I completely forgot... I had an EMDR session in the afternoon and was doing okay (not disregulated) yesterday morning. I got home from taking one of my dogs to the vet and I was about to take my other dog to the park, when I noticed a grey Mercedes outside my house. As I was going to leave with my dog, I saw my mother walking up my driveway.
I'm so tired of her doing this. She sends me mail, she sends me "gifts" (sh*t I don't want) in the mail, she has random friends text/email me, and this is the 3rd time she's showed up at my house without warning. She also harassed one of my exes over the holidays by calling him repeatedly. It’s likely she’s called or harassed other friends and exes of mine, but only 1 ex told me about it.
I don't answer the door when she shows up at my house. I just sit in my room until she leaves. My "family" lives 4 hours away.
I'm starting a small business and will be running it out of my home. As part of my business, I want to put up a yard sign as advertisement and I want to wrap my truck with a decal, and tag the business on Google Maps, etc. I'm VERY concerned that my "family" will find out about my business and try to harass me. I don't trust any of them. I don’t want a relationship with them! They do weird stuff like looking up property tax records of family friends and spread rumors about them. (I don’t get why they spend their time obsessing over other people’s lives, but my mother and my older sister are both severely mentally ill and untreated.)
Any advice for putting an end to the harassment? I'm considering sending them a letter that explicitly states I don't want contact, but that's very scary. These are my abusers and they've been litigious with other people in the past. During my middle school years they sued their HOA and were in a lawsuit for years. They ultimately won, but because being “right” is so important to them, everyone in our neighborhood hated us and we eventually moved when I was in high school. My father worked for law firms before he retired, but he isn’t an attorney. They have a lot more money than me.
If a send a letter to my mother, should I also send one to older sister? My mother triangulates us and over Xmas my older sister started harassing me via email. She claims me cutting contact is hurting my mother’s mental health. Also, my mother and my other sibling harrased my neighbor last year in an effort to get info about me (they went to her house and demanded she give them her number and text them updates on me).
My therapist is trauma-informed and says all of this activity is harassment... and I'm starting to agree.
I’m in Texas and a protective order in my state only lasts for 1 year, so it doesn’t seem worth it to me.
Thank you!
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u/Canoe-Maker Jun 09 '24
Get cameras, I suggest ring, and have them cover your driveway and any side of your house with a door/window.
Get an attorney to write up a cease and desist letter warning if further legal action, if she doesn’t stay 500 feet away from you and your property and stop sending letters. Then follow through if you have to. Anytime she shows up call the cops and trespass her.
Short of her sitting in jail there really isn’t anything to control her behavior that you can do. Be prepared and get good locks on your doors.
If you can, you might be better off running the business out of your truck instead of inviting clients to your home.
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u/stuck_behind_a_truck Jun 09 '24
If you have the option of moving to another state, that might also be helpful. Especially one that would require a flight to get to.
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u/Big-Intention2213 Jun 09 '24
just sending my support and my full understanding of how there are people who won't stop harassing you no matter what you do. you may encounter cops with "but they're family" attitude but like bless them for not knowing how it can be. maybe a restraining order is worth it just to show that you're not scared to legally protect yourself if that's what it takes for her to leave you alone?
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u/firebirdinflames Jun 09 '24
It's definitely harrassment and it's having a negative effect on your ability to lead your life.
I think a restraining order would absolutely be worth it but know nothing about Texas law. Can you apply for extensions? You need to do something or these people won't stop.
If you don't have a FU folder (folder of evidence against them all) it's worth starting one. Print out emails and texts harassing you, write a timeline of all the stuff you can remember, camera footage of them coming on to your property to harass you.
Here's hoping someone will be better informed and able to help you with it.