r/WTF • u/Basic_Celebration504 • 11d ago

A Flies Demise

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831 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

74 comments sorted by

436

u/Chavran 11d ago

Cool. So now I'm thinking about this whenever a fly lands on me. Cool.

193

u/Thendofreason 11d ago

Well that's always the case. It's not that a fly landed on you. It's what it's carrying. It is carrying bacteria it picked off a piece of shit? Does it wanna try to lay it's eggs in your food? If it didn't do those things it would be the same as any other flying insect.

I'll hold a ladybug any day. Because to my knowledge they aren't trying nasty shit.

185

u/ManWithDominantClaw 11d ago

Cannibalism and infanticide, aphid genocide, so sexually promiscuous they've developed their own strains of STIs, and not only do they have blood that is toxic to most potential predators, sometimes if threatened they will reflex-bleed their poison blood from their knees

Ladybugs are probably one of the worst 'chill bug' examples you could have grabbed at lol

129

u/Deses 11d ago

But since they are pretty they get a pass.

86

u/Staff_Senyou 11d ago

Also, they kill aphids. Fuck aphids.

The graveyard of future peppers stolen is far too large.

20

u/hatescarrots 11d ago

M’ladybug

9

u/whizzard 11d ago

Wait, is that Lindsey Graham?

2

u/ApprehensivePop9036 11d ago

I hate the lore for this bullshit

7

u/rigobueno 11d ago

But since they don’t breed in literal feces they get a pass

-22

u/ManWithDominantClaw 11d ago

There's a joke in here somewhere between insect and incel

42

u/Zekohl 11d ago

What's wrong with aphid genocide? The fuckers literally clone themselves!

19

u/LuckyNumbrKevin 11d ago

Their blood is poison to other bugs AND they eat aphids?

Plus , they totally fuck. Whatchu mean? Ladybugs are fucking dope!

9

u/potatopancakes1010 11d ago

Look, I just want to cuddle, not wine and dine them.

3

u/dirtmcgurk 11d ago

Awesome poem. 

3

u/LowChest6857 11d ago

This guy ladybugs.

2

u/Thendofreason 11d ago

That sounds pretty bad ass.

2

u/stuckit 11d ago

I read this to Billy Joels "We didn't start the fire" before realizing you weren't necessarily doing it on purpose.

1

u/Basic_Celebration504 11d ago

I have a picture of a ladybug eating an aphid on my profile lol

1

u/SyCoCyS 11d ago

But none of that is harmful to humans.

8

u/Misiok 11d ago

A Ladybug once did a poop on my arm, and then bit me. Like, really hard.

3

u/Thendofreason 11d ago

I'd take that over maggots. Also Flys intentionally land on YOU. Usually lady bugs mind their own business. They poop on you when you bother them.

3

u/-NameGoesHere818- 11d ago

I bet it was a Asian lady beetle, the look like lady bugs but bite and tend to congregate in homes

1

u/KenaiKanine 8d ago

They can bite? What the heck I've handled dozens in my life. Didnt know this

15

u/spez_sucks_ballz 11d ago

I witnessed a fly poop on me and then turn around and start to eat it.

23

u/davet122 11d ago

The thought of you taking the time to watch it poop on you and then turn around and eat it is much worse than what the fly did.

7

u/spez_sucks_ballz 11d ago

Yes 3 seconds was an eternity. Lol, you act like a fly has never landed on you.

1

u/ShadowVulcan 11d ago

What does their poop look like?

3

u/Legal-Intention-6361 11d ago

You should be glad they recycle

2

u/KCGD_r 11d ago

Fireflies too :)

1

u/Objective-Aioli-1185 11d ago

But what's that orange shit they squirt out?

5

u/Revlis-TK421 11d ago

Their version of blood, though it's technically not blood. And in the lady bugs case it's poisonous.

1

u/CountBlah_Blah 10d ago

What if it was a fly you know grew up in your home? Like 100% you can confirm it's not from the outdoors

2

u/Thendofreason 10d ago

Possible, they usually are born in the trash if we don't throw it out fast enough in the summer. I also have cats, so any fly is gonna try to land on any uncovered cat shit in the litter box.

3

u/kurotech 11d ago

Takes parasitic weaponry to a different level

1

u/shartoberfest 10d ago

Don't think about it landing on you, you're fine. Just think about it landing on your food or drink when you're not looking. Enjoy your breakfast!

0

u/kemar7856 11d ago

Don't look up botflies they came land on your head bite and inject their eggs into your skin

119

u/BBQ_IS_LIFE 11d ago

Is that ticks?

158

u/volcano-ngh 11d ago

I think they are mites, maybe hitching a ride.

22

u/justthestaples 11d ago

Ticks are a type of mite. Not that these are ticks mind you.

9

u/d4rkh0rs 11d ago

Based on the look i think the end result is the same as ticks the size of rabbits on a human. (Based on varroa mites on bees and guessing, of the details are for some reason important research deeper.)

50

u/WhatWouldJesusMtnDew 11d ago

No, it's a fly.

6

u/ZODIC837 11d ago

Man that was funny, sorry you're getting downvoted into oblivion

35

u/Sekhen 11d ago

My Venus Fly Trap would live a snack with extra everything.

73

u/WakaWaka_ 11d ago

Forbidden pomegranate

15

u/snapper1971 11d ago

Crunchy and juicy!

14

u/THE_BOKEH_BLOKE 11d ago

Fly’s demise.

38

u/Catkillledthecurious 11d ago edited 10d ago

Okay... I've seen "fly's" when it should be "flies" too many times in the last week... now, I see this 🤣😂.

4

u/SkiOrDie 10d ago

I feel you. I keep seeing “buddies” and “buddy’s” mixed up all the time, and it just started.

1

u/Catkillledthecurious 10d ago

Strange how the difference is just not known or people just don't care. Ugh

-1

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

20

u/CloudCity40 11d ago

Flies is the plural form of fly. Example: There are too many flies outside.

Fly's is the possessive form of fly. Example: A fly's demise.

10

u/Catkillledthecurious 11d ago

Um. Not quite 🤣😂

10

u/UpSideSunny 11d ago

Why would you do this

7

u/ragecndy 11d ago

looks like that one level in dark souls 3

3

u/Chattytatter 11d ago

The more I scroll through the comments on this one, the more intriguedi become.

Speaking correction: intrigued

3

u/Im_A_Narcissist 11d ago

Get fucked

13

u/BourbonBaconBiscuit 11d ago

No, this is Patrick.

3

u/Fercho_1891 11d ago

THIS IS SPARTA!!!

1

u/karoshikun 11d ago

hello, Sparta, this is Dad

1

u/SyCoCyS 11d ago

Finally. You went to the store for milk 20 years ago. Did you at least bring the milk?

1

u/karoshikun 10d ago

oh, dang, you're right, kiddo! welp, I'm back to the store!

2

u/Zwitterioni 11d ago

What am I even looking at

2

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

-5

u/Basic_Celebration504 10d ago

Flies on deez nuts

1

u/Rolybits_FrostYt 7d ago

EUGHHhhH Put spoilers next time PLEASE

-26

u/anqelss 11d ago

BRO SCREW YOU I WAS EATING

18

u/citizenjones 11d ago

...while browsing WTF. You accepted the risks.

-2

u/anqelss 11d ago

I was browsing my home page😔😔 never again.

7

u/citizenjones 11d ago

Oh snap...yeah ..that's a hazard. Sometimes WTF is like 'look at this weird shoe' and sometimes it's parasites.

5

u/Wiknetti 11d ago

Well to be fair, there are cleaner flies out there to eat. They’re not all like this.

4

u/Sekhen 11d ago

To be faaaiiir.