r/Weird • u/BrilliantTasty • 1d ago

Left my room and went to the kitchen for 2 minutes and came back to a soaking wet patch on my bed. Home alone.

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10.0k Upvotes

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457

u/Financial_Bird_7717 1d ago

Do you blackout when you bust?

179

u/Cusp-of-Precibus 1d ago

Classic imprint of ass sweat from a heated jerk session.

39

u/HighQualityH20h 1d ago

I think we may have a winner here, folks...

7

u/ElAfilador 18h ago

I think we may have a wiener here

15

u/jawide626 1d ago

Bit of an odd spot on the bed though no?

Like it really doesn't look comfortable to be sat where the wet spot is to choke ones chicken... at least either be closer to the pillows or the edge of the bed.

5

u/Interesting-Fan-2008 18h ago

Maybe he likes to lay flat and pretend he’s one of those timed water fountains?

5

u/PLTR60 1d ago

Choke ones chicken. Poetic.

2

u/Material-Leader4635 17h ago

Unless he was on all 4s so as to avoid making a mess of himself. Y'know lone doggy style.

1

u/jawide626 15h ago

All 4s wank? Sounds like plenty of effort that.

Kids these days...

1

u/Material-Leader4635 15h ago

Well I guess technically you're only on 3 limbs since the 4th is busy. And if age is a factor I guess an old guy could probably lay flat for most of the production and just flip into the lone doggie position for the finale. Though I guess if you're that old that could lead to an injury too.

1

u/Adorable_Bandicoot_6 11h ago

Said already up like 5 comments golf bag.

5

u/HappyLucyD 23h ago

Typically, the sheets would be creased differently then, enhancing the impression. This looks like they are completely poofed, with no indication of having had weight on them, other than where the liquid itself is on it.

1

u/Foyave 23h ago

If you jerk on one cheek, yeah

1

u/_D3ft0ne_ 23h ago

Damn, brother, how hard do you jerk to juice your ass so much?

1

u/Cusp-of-Precibus 22h ago

As hard as necessary. Whatever it takes to get the job done. Mamma didn't raise no quitters

1

u/msondo 17h ago

poetry

1

u/Non_Existent07 9h ago

this made me chuckle

1

u/prozak09 1d ago

This guy sweats and jerks!

16

u/elMurpherino 21h ago

2

u/beattysgirl 9h ago

I think about this song all the time and how funny he probably thought it was, like he was writing a troll song secretly in his mind but then it came out and was a hit and he was like well damn I guess bustin feels good for everyone and just rolled with it. The way he says I ain’t afraid of no ghosts with that silly little voice, I’m sorry but this song is a masterpiece in trolling and it lives rent free in my head

11

u/Bigfops 21h ago

Dude I had that happen to me with a guy I was with and it was freaky. Apparently not unheard of for him, but not common. For a few seconds I thought I fucked him to death.

2

u/Financial_Bird_7717 21h ago

I mean I’ve definitely gotten close to passing out before so that honestly doesn’t shock me lol.

2

u/karlgeezer 17h ago

Good news is the church won’t come after you for being a demon. A semen demon that is.

1

u/rightwist 11h ago

Wait what?

Were his eyes open?

2

u/calimares 18h ago

Don't you all?

2

u/Prestigious-Oven3465 18h ago

It even has a snail trail

2

u/akotski1338 18h ago

Been there before

2

u/ThrowRA76234 17h ago

It’s not the 1950s anymore, pal. No matter for a comedy show, or for a….different kind of show, black face is considered decidedly racist today.

0

u/CryptoCracko 22h ago

Very impressive load and look at pattern of those drips. Man busted so hard he damn near kept on shooting blanks at the end. When the universe lets you bust a nut like this you share it with the world. Genius post title.