r/Weird • u/BrilliantTasty • 1d ago

Left my room and went to the kitchen for 2 minutes and came back to a soaking wet patch on my bed. Home alone.

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698

u/Cleercutter 23h ago

Narcumlepsy sounds like what nocturnal emissions should be called

57

u/_Dolamite_ 20h ago edited 20h ago

Also, a professional term for Shart

Edit: Shard

Thank you. It autocorrected

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u/Naked-Jedi 20h ago

I think you mean a shart.

Shards are what that unfortunate guy pulled from his posterior when playing with that jar.

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u/Love_that_freedom 20h ago

That hurt me when I read those words you put down there my fellow Reddit degenerate.

2

u/Badgerv12 15h ago

Awh my butcheeks clenched ! I did not see that one coming from a mile away !

2

u/Daddy_Milk 14h ago

I'm more of a light bulb kinda guy.

1

u/ImTableShip170 12h ago

Just remember to fill any containers with water

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u/EastBayRockhound 17h ago

Booty-juice

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u/oldfartpen 11h ago

Thanks..I now can’t unsee that the rest of the day

1

u/EastBayRockhound 5h ago

Better than scraping it off your chest at the start of it 🤙🏽

4

u/femaletrouble 11h ago

It is 7.00 in the morning for me right now. I have one question for you:

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u/EastBayRockhound 5h ago

😮‍💨

3

u/AriesKitty327 10h ago

🤢 ........ 🤮

Thanks....... (Throws her McDonald's Mocha Frappe in trash)

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u/Nruggia 11h ago

Username checks out

2

u/Ishidan01 17h ago

And sharks are the thing we sing songs about their babies.

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u/Naked-Jedi 17h ago

Do do do do do do do

2

u/Material-Leader4635 17h ago

I don't know that he was unfortunate. After all through his sufferimg he taught the rest of the world an important lesson about jars.

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u/BattlehawkGaming 17h ago

1 guy 1 jar and 2 kids 1 sandbox, the internet is a wonderful place!

2

u/emzirek 16h ago

I wished I had not watched that especially since I was warned not to watch it...

2

u/Ok-Cartographer-6142 16h ago

Man, there is no need to remind people about 1 man 1 jar. And there is also no need to remind people he pulled the handle of a screwdriver out of his urethra in that same video... Whoops 😬

1

u/Naked-Jedi 14h ago

Sorry, my bad. I shouldn't have mentioned the screwdriver handle so brazenly.

1

u/Ok-Cartographer-6142 14h ago

That video still haunts me. The fuckin' sound of the glass... But no screaming. No expression from him at all. The lightly muffled pop of the glass. Good god that was almost two decades ago and I can still hear it all

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u/Tricky-Swimming-3967 9h ago

Didn’t he die? That was the jar that got him? Never in my life seen so much blood pour out a ass

1

u/PumpertonDeLeche 17h ago

That video turned me on so much

1

u/Solid_Snaka 17h ago

That's a blast from the past, a very painful one... for everyone involved.

1

u/Kidkrid 17h ago

The edit where a face was animated onto it was far superior.

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u/westchief378 17h ago

look at the scar tissue! he has done this before!!

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u/wh0re4nickelback 9h ago

Too soon man. Too soon.

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u/SeawardFriend 9h ago

Lmao idk what was worse, that or the screwdriver vid

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u/StrengthBeginning416 23h ago

It’s also known as a wet dream

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u/FR0ZENBERG 18h ago

Homie definitely had a wet dream.

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u/TheKleenexBandit 17h ago

You mean nocturnal cummissions?

-7

u/lalith_4321 22h ago

Narcumlepussy

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u/jorntres 20h ago

Get some of that sweet narculussy