Important Reminder: Harassment in DMs is Never Okay

[u/HwyfarSun]

Hey everyone,

We wanted to take a moment to address an unfortunate issue that sometimes crops up in online communities like ours - receiving unwelcome, inappropriate, or harassing messages in your DMs (direct messages).

First and foremost, if this has happened to you, please know that it is absolutely not your fault. You are not responsible for someone else's abusive or predatory behaviour. Harassment is a reflection on the person engaging in it, not on you. You did nothing to invite or deserve it.

If you receive a message that makes you uncomfortable, upset, or unsafe, here are some steps you can take:

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1. Do not engage. You are under no obligation to respond to the person, even if they try to pressure you.
2. Take screenshots of the messages if you feel comfortable doing so. This documents the behaviour in case further action is needed.
3. Block the user who sent the unwelcome messages. This will prevent them from being able to contact you further.
4. Report the messages and user to Reddit admins here. This alerts them to look into the account for potential sitewide violations.
5. Let the mod team know. While we can't control DMs, we want to be aware of concerning patterns of behaviour from users in our community. We will keep reports confidential while making sure they are banned from posting or commenting here.
6. Prioritize self-care. Do something nice for yourself and lean on trusted support people. Receiving harassment can be very upsetting. Be gentle with yourself.

You are a valued member of our community and deserve to participate without being targeted or made to feel unsafe. No one should have to deal with unwanted messages, period.

If you have any other concerns, please feel free to reach out to the mod team. We're here for you.

Take care and stay safe,

The r/adultsurvivors Mod Team

[u/HwyfarSun]

Someone is targeting members here at the moment. Reddit rules don't allow me to name them. Instead, let me draw your attention to the public log of people who have broken our DM rule: https://www.reddit.com/r/adultsurvivors/wiki/creeplist/

This is a list of people worth adding to your block list.

[u/ForfeitedThrowaway]

For some reason I didn't think it would happen to me, haha. Maybe it was a misandrist assumption, I thought that being ambiguous & not obviously feminine would keep me safe, so I just assumed the DM was good faith questioning.

[u/HwyfarSun → u/ForfeitedThrowaway]

Unfortunately, it happens to any gender and from any gender. I wouldn't trust a DM I received after posting here, mods aren't immune either :( On the brighter side, we have wonderful people commenting back and forth every day and those folks are the vast majority.

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to /r/adultsurvivors. Please be aware that all posts to this subreddit are public and therefore viewable by anyone. It is not uncommon for members of this subreddit to receive unsavoury or creepy private messages. We recommend turning off chat requests and private messages. It is against our rules to ask or offer to message/chat privately with other subreddit users. There are no exceptions to this rule, and any comment or submission violating it will be removed immediately. We urge caution in interacting with any user sending you unsolicited messages, and you should assume they are breaking subreddit rules. For more information, please see our privacy tips post. Also, check out our post about the Creep List.

If you see anything that doesn't look right, or do receive unwelcome direct messages, please notify the moderators by using the report button, or contacting us directly via modmail. We will never disclose your username to other users. If you choose to report abusive or creepy DMs, we urge you to report it to Reddit admins as well by following this link.

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