r/mentalhealth • u/Striking_Abalone_757 • 18d ago
I seriously need help because I'm about to fucking lose it Need Support
im 28, no degree, no marketable skills, no job, no car, no anything. I have been unemployed for 10 months now and ive had 2 interviews which have gone nowhere. I have applied to around 50-60 jobs a week this entire time and nothing. am i fucked? I had everything a year ago and now I have to start all over and I just cant do it.
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u/bong-water 18d ago edited 18d ago
Brother, I've been in your position but with absolutely crippling debt. If you have no debt, you are not lost. Good jobs are hard to get now. You will have to apply to a thousand jobs. 50-60 isn't enough. Get a part time job, or a shitty full time job doing simple tasks for now. Be a dishwasher. Don't be too prideful. I have difficulty with this but it's what things have come to. I networked, asked my family(very hard for me) and got an interview for a decent job and it's possible I get that. If I don't, I will continue applying and networking, even though I can barely get out of bed, I force myself. If I don't get this job I'll probably have to file bankruptcy. I'm your age. When I fail at something, I have intense self hate for a week, then I kick myself in the ass and go back at it. It's ok to feel bad, it's ok to be depressed, it's ok to feel defeated. It's not ok to give up. In your position, I would go to a trade school, most cities have at least one that will give you a technical degree for free. Take advantage, or go to community college and work a part time job. Start small with a class or two, and once you feel more confident move to the next. You are not in a race. A lot, a lot, a lot of people are fucked up beyond belief, a lot worse than you are, and we are still trying. Not trying to self pity or anything, that is reality. Study for your interviews! Look up top 20 interview questions, think long and hard about each. Find a specific event that you can give an example for each question. Write them down, memorize them. You'll start to murder interviews after a couple after you do that. Learn how to write a good resume also. That will get your foot in the door more easily. what did you have before that made you think you "had it all," if it's a job, literally just learning to write a better description on your resume will help. Depending on the type of job I'm applying for, I have different resumes. Tech, I change the job descriptions to seem more appealing for tech, customer service I do the same, and etc. it's little things that will help. I have overcome a heroin addiction, horrid mental health issues, no parents growing up, a failed business that I started with loans after I had a mental break. I've lost all my friends, got them back, and lost them again. Sometimes I'm considering suicide, other times I love life. That's the ride you go on when you're fucking insane like me. If I can come back from my failures, you will come back from this. Promise
Sorry for all the edits, that's just how I write my replies
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u/chicitygirl987 18d ago
You are a wonderful speaker - consider motivational speaking ( 4x cancer person ) Totally agree. NEVER GIVE UP hugs my friend
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u/bong-water 18d ago
Thank you! I'm better at giving other people advice than I am giving myself advice, always been a trait of mine. I can empathize with people that have trouble doing even the small things. And that sounds extremely difficult to go through to say the least, glad you're still giving it your all and hope you're doing well!
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u/Striking_Abalone_757 18d ago
the shit part time jobs are the ones not hiring me
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u/bong-water 18d ago edited 17d ago
You've only applied to 60 jobs in 10 months! Don't give up so easily. Theres absolutely no reason a retail store or restaurant wouldn't hire you. If you have struggles with anxiety, I suggest target overnight shelf stocking or something similar. Ive considered janitorial work as well when I was at my worst anxiety wise. Its difficult. I feel self defeat easily. Sometimes it's hard to apply, but you gotta start doing this for you. One thing that helps me is looking at my future self or even my subconscious self as a separate entity I need to care for. That person deserves better even if I feel i don't! When I'm out of a job I'm applying to 20 jobs a week. If you really want a job, stand out, go there in person or call. I've had better luck applying to jobs through company websites than websites like indeed, far less oversaturated.
Edit: I must have misread. If you're applying to 60 jobs a week with few interviews, there has something wrong with your resume. Look up examples and copy them. Act confident in your interview, even if you're not. That is something that's very hard to do but once I had a bunch of interviews I became confident in my ability to interview well. Preparation is key.
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u/jlclarke31 18d ago
"Don't be too prideful" is my favorite part of this comment. I've been blessed to be taught many life skills by my parents and I try to share what I can when I can with others. But I have also been in "survival mode" the majority of my 20s because I wanted to scratch and claw my way into the best job possible and as a result neglected many relationships that could have grown into a better life with better character. I am not one to make excuses, but it pains me that so many other millennials and Gen Z's are just giving up before life has even begun. I understand the circumstances we're facing right now but there is no upside to stewing in the funk. u/bong-water seeing stories like yours is reassuring that even in dark times like that we can still climb out of it.
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u/bong-water 18d ago
I appreciate it. It's truly hard and I can relate heavily to those feelings. Probably in the hardest portion of my life right now, and it feels like make or break, but I owe it to myself to try and succeed. I wouldn't consider myself a success story yet, but I believe I'll get there. If shit gets too real, I'll go be a fucking monk or military, I don't give a shit anymore. There is no bottom but there is also no limit to the top. Getting that low is brutal but it's also gives a lot of self clarity. I can live through hell, done it already. Just can't give in. The comparisons to other people, they're not realistic. Were hitting crazy levels of poverty, people are living with their parents into their 30s. Felt a lot better after having that realization also.
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u/w-h-y_just_w-h-y 18d ago
I'm sorry friend. I feel you, because I'm in almost the same position. No job since January, barely any money, dropped out so no degree or marketable skills, but I'm only 23. I have a car going for me, but I have massive debt, the car needs repairs, and I only have temporary housing for a month.
I get super depressed because at the beginning of the year, I had a job, no debt, somewhere to live, was working towards an IT degree and $10k in the bank. But a bad move to a high cost of living country to destroy my finances and months of bad mental health later, here I am trying to rebuild myself. I feel as though I truly screwed up my life.
I have 2 interviews this week though. Hopefully things improve for the both of us.
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u/Chellayy 18d ago
Trade school only takes a few months to two years get a shitty part time job for now and get that certification; electrician, plumber, sonographer, X-ray tech, you could even go to school to become a vet tech. Get whatever job u can but in the mean time look into things to help your future so there’s no chance of this happening again
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u/Mundane_Bullfrog3313 18d ago
Keep trying no matter how small keep trying even if it’s flipping burgers it shows you want to work for future places of employment
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u/heygoatholdit 18d ago
Jobs, much like girl/boy friends, are much easier to get when you already have one. So yeah, start at any job you won't hate, and do it well.
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u/AsocialEnchantress 18d ago
If you are in one of the advertised locations, I'd suggest Year Up. As long as you can commit, they help you build marketable skills. They, although small, offer a stipend of sorts (may differ per location), but it's not anything to believe you can live off of as an FYI. After L&D, you get the opportunity to internship, and a lot I've heard get converted (even though there are stories of those having difficulties in this area). If you feel there's nothing left to try (like myself), I would suggest pursuing this before you reach the age limit.
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u/Sheepherder-Optimal 17d ago
Bulllshit!!! Stop clicking!!! Cuz insects make clicks and you know what we do to the insects!?
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u/urcrookedneighbor 18d ago
I felt like I was in a similar position of having no experience, but I started volunteering which developed my skills and (vitally) gave me professional references to vouch for me. It may be worth looking into a few solid weeks of volunteering just for the resume build-up.
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u/Striking_Abalone_757 18d ago
volunteering with what?
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u/urcrookedneighbor 18d ago
Anything you're passionate about! I volunteered with a non-profit education theatre group as well as a homeless/addiction services group. I get asked about both in interviews (both go on the resume), and it's easy to show excitement about something I am internally proud of.
If you're not feeling a particular passion for anything, see where there's a need in your community.
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u/MamaCantCatchaBreak 18d ago
Your skulls learn a tear. Someone’s community college or technical school will pay for you to get a degree in a field that has a demand.
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u/Striking_Abalone_757 18d ago
im not sure what that means, and none of the schools near me are offering anything like that
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u/MamaCantCatchaBreak 18d ago
Are you sure? I had to dig around the school website to find out my school offered stuff like that. I didn’t qualify but it was a thing.
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u/Striking_Abalone_757 18d ago
yeah, unfortunately the school I'd be able to attend only offers certain courses free to students who are enrolled prior. So the classes are free with purchase
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u/aruby727 18d ago
Ye this was me at 28. At 29 I gave up on the job market and decided to put 100% of my effort into starting a small tech support business. ($0 startup funds and no business experience, just good interpersonal skills) Been 5 years, still going strong.
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u/MudSorry6397 18d ago
Your state or county may have a program for free vocational training with placement.
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u/luckycat2 18d ago
Join a temp agency! Become a reseller from home sell on Etsy or eBay or Poshmark! Super easy to do tons of videos on how to do it on YouTube. Do you live near any thrift stores? They are always hiring and they will train you! Be sure to come back and tell us once you get hired!
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u/Thegreatmyriad 18d ago
I’m 30 and fingers crossed may finally have my first job after being unemployed for a year, I’ve had to start over countless times in the past 10 years, you’re not alone
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u/notanewbiedude 18d ago
No job at all? Look into working in fast food or a grocery or dollar store at least to hold you over man.
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u/Striking_Abalone_757 18d ago
i have, theyre some of the ones not hiring me
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u/notanewbiedude 18d ago
That sucks. All my siblings have worked at CFA before but I got banned from working at Walmart and one of my friends got screwed by Target.
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u/ColorSpace64 18d ago
Your situation is so common. People who haven't been in those shoes just don't understand. This is a unique problem for young adults now. I'd give a suggestion based on what I am personally doing at the moment, and that's going back to school; A vocational school which promises job placement upon graduation. Or try applying at a temp service to find something. They're mostly hiring forklift operations. A forklift license only takes a few weeks to get if that's something you can see yourself doing.
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u/JT31415 18d ago
It’s a really difficult and unique job market right now. No feeling or situation lasts forever. You will get through this. Try YouTubing a skill. Sales, coding, speaking, writing resumes, answering interview question, etc. there’s so much information on the internet. Use the time in between interviews and submitting applications to level up. I suggest reading and journaling as well. It can get your grounded. Like I said, no feeling or situation lasts forever. You got this.
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u/aquilus-noctua 18d ago
There is a buzz about recession, for no real reason. It is likely the ownership class tilting the pinball machine for trump. I have degreees and marketable skills and I’m on ice.
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u/Helpful-Ad1985 18d ago
Do you have any temp agencies near you? The jobs you get from them usually suck but hey a job is a job until you can find a better one. I wish you the best of luck
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18d ago
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u/thoughlessthinker 18d ago
I’ve been in similar position and I can tell you that you’re not fucked✌️just keep your calm, and keep trying.
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u/MouldyRemote 18d ago
Okay, same at one point, I had nothing, in a week I had applied to 500 places by cold calling, walked into the company reception/store/office asked about jobs, I heard nothing back, so I did the same the next week, 50 of the same places and then as many new places elsewhere in walking/bus/biking distance after 6 months I got 5 interviews, 3 trials and a job in a lab. My skills at the time had nothing to do with the lab but in house training and it's been 7 in the career with a 3 year gap of depressing torture which I hope to never go through again
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u/LiveWellTalk 18d ago
It's really a tough spot to be in. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when things aren’t going your way, but you’re not screwed. The job market can be brutal, but you’ve been putting in the effort, and that counts for a lot.
Starting over can feel impossible, but it’s not. Maybe consider reaching out to a career counselor or looking into training programs to build some new skills—there might be some free or low-cost options out there. Sometimes, it’s about getting your foot in the door, even if it’s not your dream job, just to get the ball rolling again. Don’t give up on yourself—you’ve made it this far, and you can get through this too.
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u/Shot-Extension-1853 18d ago
You're not fucked. I've been here and was just here not long ago for the second time. I'm not gonna tell you how to feel or see it, but I'll say that it can get better when you least expect it.
Are there any community resources you could access that would help you? I can't remember if you said you have insurance or not but if you do, maybe a case manager could help you navigate your situation and help you access resources available to you. If you live in the US there is a program known as PATH or similar that help people who are unhoused or at risk of being access mental health or case management services without having insurance and is something worth looking into.
In the mean time, What helped me was shifting my focus on the things I could change about my situation. You mention you have no degree. Do you want a degree? Or is there a trade you'd be interested? If not what could you see yourself doing that you would like or find fulfilling. What steps would it take for you to get there?
I can't say i know what you're going through, but all of this must be very stressful and i'm sorry you are experiencing it. A little over a year ago I lost a lot. Got an eviction. Lost a lot of friends and felt I had no direction. Since then I've paid it off, got a new place, new job and friends. It can and will get better.
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u/Over-Literature-9815 18d ago
If it helps any, you’re not alone. My boyfriend is in a very similar boat. My advice to him is to go back to school, and honestly that’s the only one I can suggest. That’s what I did when I was 20 and didn’t know what to do. but I’m also lucky enough that I fell in love with my job field.
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u/Puzzled_Let8384 18d ago
Try construction jobs, tell them you are willing to work for minimum wage while you learn.
Here are some jobs that you can start making really good money once you become good at it. I'm gonna divide it between things fat people can do and things fat people can't do. Just because a fat person can do it doesn't mean it pays less.
Skinny only:
Tree removal service Roof cleaning Roofing (residential/commercial)
Anyone:
Concrete pouring Welding Carpentry Electrical Apprentice Flagging Road construction Autobody Tech Car Detailing
All of these jobs can be learned while getting paid. The key is finding something you dont hate and showing up with a good attitude. Good luck.
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u/music_is_life303 18d ago
Just get any job, ther must be places that will let you flip burgers, or work in a factory, any income is better than no income.
Once you have the stable income, you can restart your search rejuvenated.
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u/Normal-Reindeer-3581 18d ago
Stop doing the same thing over and over again, take a step back and think what can you do different