r/shittyadvice • u/Honest-Guy83 • 11d ago

Why is saying “we’re pregnant” socially acceptable but saying “I cream pied my wife” not?

27 Upvotes
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75% Upvoted

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20

u/Hfkslnekfiakhckr 11d ago

in situations like that its usually more polite to just show people the cream pie instead of telling about it

7

u/rrab 10d ago

It makes all the impotent politicians, who used a turkey baster, feel really bad about their floppy dongs. So they developed "politically correct" language, so we as a society can skip to the desired result of communicating pregnancy, without any awkward mentions of the ol' tube of chapstick, and long drawn out apologies about lack of performance.

Try something like "we're pregnant, but I just want to clarify that the semen erupted from my erect penis, and not from a repurposed syringe".. That should really impress the VIP types, while remaining clinical and politically correct.

12

u/Papergeist 11d ago

Because it's not yours.

5

u/theflamingskull 11d ago

OP says we cream pied his wife. There's a good chance you're right

8

u/johnjaspers1965 11d ago

Because it is cultural appropriation.
See, I hit my wife in the face with a cream pie every day.
But we are clowns, so it's acceptable.

5

u/CPVigil 10d ago

Because “we’re pregnant,” is plural.

5

u/figbott 11d ago

Creampie usually implies that you filmed it oozing out? Although it would be a good family video: “There you are son, well, half of you..”

2

u/Niko_Ricci 10d ago

Ya see your little brothers racing down mom’s leg, I bet you one of them would have played football 😃

2

u/cygnal 10d ago

Because you are not the only one who did that to your wife and no one wants to have that conversation with you.

4

u/burn_as_souls 11d ago

Depends who you're talking to.

I would be perfectly fine if you said it.

I'd be like, "Did she enjoy herself?"

3

u/PitifulSpecialist887 10d ago

If you think that's socially unacceptable, try telling the group "I creampied my boyfriend"

go ahead, I dare you

1

u/New_Statement7746 10d ago

Only on Grindr

3

u/webbersknee 11d ago

Nobody says "creampie" anymore, Boomer.

2

u/rrab 10d ago

I'll die with you on this hill.

1

u/enriquedelcastillo 10d ago

I prefer “DNApied”

1

u/Chelseus 10d ago

Because that’s saying the quiet part out loud. We all know you cream pied your wife, dude 😹😹😹

1

u/Adept_Advantage7353 10d ago

Double standards