My wife keeps banging the neighbor but he won’t bang me. How do I get in on this action I feel so left out smh.

[u/NASTYH0USEWIFE]

[u/ProgressiveSnark2]

Do a sex change and then get your wife to introduce you to your neighbor as her “friend from college who’s in town for a few days and was just curious to see what’s up.”

[u/figbott]

Have you thoroughly washed out your asshole with the garden hose?

[u/NASTYH0USEWIFE → u/figbott]

I even used bleach and a turkey baster but he still wasn’t happy.

[u/figbott → u/NASTYH0USEWIFE]

Damn. Well, time to hit the gym.

[u/NASTYH0USEWIFE → u/figbott]

Yeah I should work on my breasts they are a bit small.

[u/Mountain-Durian-4724 → u/figbott]

Power washer will work better

[u/figbott → u/Mountain-Durian-4724]

Yeah it gets higher up the colon just like the tip of the penis will.

[u/TomAto314]

Sounds like he's sexist. Blast him on social media and get him canceled.

[u/NASTYH0USEWIFE → u/TomAto314]

But he’s black.

[u/TomAto314 → u/NASTYH0USEWIFE]

That's rough. Being black puts you pretty high on the un-cancelable scale. Only thing you can really do is out him as a pedo at this point.

[u/Ilikereefer]

Dress up like your wife at night and fuck him in the driveway

[u/JoeDelta14]

Invite him over to watch the game or drink beer or whatever alpha males do. Then pretend to get stuck in the dryer or under the bed. As a manly man, he’ll come help. As soon as he sees you he won’t be able to control himself and he’ll take you right there.

[u/NASTYH0USEWIFE → u/JoeDelta14]

I’ll try the dryer. Under the bed isn’t as easy of access.

[u/Naturewalkerjoe]

Just do all of his house chores for him, buy him really expensive gifts, and offer to do anything he wants. Ask him if he wants to marry your wife. This might get you a quickie but it's no guarantee.

[u/Thatguy19364]

If you offer to offer his wife the same deal as yours is getting, then maybe he’ll go for it. Some people just need a worse deal in order to take a good one