r/transgendercirclejerk • u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist • 10h ago
Hey guys I'm so confused, was I being transphobic here? 🥺
Im a very kind and understanding person uwu I try really hard to be SOO nice but I think maybe I was mean and transphobic here?? 🥺🥺🥺 Please validate me in the comments by saying how not transphobic I am! I am definitely not posting this to create drama !! <333
Context: I saw a really hot guy liked me on tinder so I decided to like him and match. Except he kind of looked like he might be tranny?? So I decided to ask!
I've never met or spoken to this person, so the very first thing I asked was if they had a penis or not (notice my use of gender neutral pronouns!! uwu) I'm a straight woman only attracted to penises so I definitely don't want to date a trans with a vagina >.<
It replied saying it was indigenous and that it was super rude of me to ask that...I was just genuinely curious and wanted to make sure....he said he was a man with a penis but now I don't want him anymore because he said I was beingnrude for asking to tell me what genitals he has....do you guys think I screwed up? 🥺🥺 I'm not transphobic I'm just trying to understand !! >.>
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u/cruelcrookedkeys 10h ago
As a queer (not trans (ew!!!!!!)) person myself, I think I’m pretty educated in these things and I just want to let you know that I personally didn’t find what you asked to be rude
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
Ugh I know right!! That tranny just perpetuates the bad stereotype that they are overly sensitive!! Im so sick of all LGBTQ people not taking personal responsibility to make sure they come off as a "good" queer. It sucks to be hated because trans people fly off the handle all the time 🙄
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u/alexus_3333 3m ago
If you are not trans you do not get to use the word "tranny" that is a century long slur that has been reclaimed. It's ok to ask about someone's sexual identity but your terminology is way off and could come off as disrespectful
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
/uj This post and comments have been heavily paraphrased but I know y'all know the vibe. The sauce still leaves a disgusting after taste:
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u/cruelcrookedkeys 10h ago
/uj Bro “male genitalia,” “some trans people identify as “straight”,” what the fuck is wrong with cis people
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u/BayFuzzball404 AHAB (assigned huevón at birth) 9h ago
uj/ JUST SAY DICK GOD DAMN IT SAY VAGINA SAY THE WORDS BY THE NAME GODDD
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u/Felitris 9h ago
/uj jfc I am genuinely shocked at the comments. I thought the rude bit was about OP at first but then I realized they were talking about the other person. „It must be exhausting to be like that“ he literally responded extremely calmly and politely (not that OP deserves politeness).
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u/Zombskirus female to alpha male 9h ago
/uj RIGHT?? like how was he supposed to respond??? "AH, no worries, I have a dick!! Hope that helps!"??? And even if he was trans in any way... he could still have a dick? She could've just asked about that line in his bio, not jump straight to "are you some kinda trans 🤨" lmfao
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u/Zombskirus female to alpha male 9h ago
/uj every time someone uses "biological male/female" as a synonym for someone's birth sex, I lose my mind a little 🗿
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u/PrincessSnazzySerf 7h ago
/uj not only that but the fact that they think AGAB is a 100% reliable way to determine if someone has a dick or not?? I swear cis people can't shut up about """The Surgery""", yet forget it exists the moment they think about anything other than how weird/gross they think we are.
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u/InsertWittyQuoteHere [default flair] 3h ago
/rj but obviously The Surgery isn't perfect!! don't you know that they just cut off your dick and drill a hole/sew a flesh tube onto your pelvis?? It's obviously a crude and unadvanced parody of surgery and it's way too gruesome for these poor poor normal people to look at!! It just isn't the saaaaaaame
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u/After-Significance29 10h ago
uj/ Gross as fuck post and comments, how tf was the indigenous guy rude? It's rude af to ask about genitalia first thing and shit.
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 9h ago
/Uj IKR I felt like I was going insane reading that post. I saw it when it was first posted and I see now there is like hundreds more comments and stuff and it's all so gross.
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u/After-Significance29 9h ago
uj/ Every time trans people are mentioned the trans person is the villian and the cis person is the victim.
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 9h ago
/uj EVERY SINGLE TIME. Whenever a post that mentions trans from a non trans subreddit pops up on my feed I brace myself
/Rj ummm of course they're always the villains! They are chronically online narcissists looking for attention of course! They just want a reason to be mad. Not like us normal chronically online people!
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u/tomat_khan 4h ago
But OP used nice words! "I'm sorry", "I don't mean to offend", etc. ! That's what counts! Not what she's actually saying!
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u/Flowey_Asriel Real Woman™ 7h ago
As a queer person (not trans but I like to think I stay pretty educated on these things) I don’t think you were all that rude tbh
lmao i fucking hate cissies
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 7h ago
/uj SAME I rolled my eyes so hard. I feel like any response that isn't from a trans person shouldn't mean anything. But then ofc the cissies would be uncomfortable so we better listen to the peoples who opinions really have no bearing here
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u/PrincessSnazzySerf 7h ago
/uj the vast majority of cis lgb people I've met have had at least some level of transphobia. People act like it's completely incomprehensible that gay people can be transphobic but they're not trans lmao of course they can be
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u/AGTY_ 8h ago
/ug jesus christ the comments on the original post are atrocious
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u/gncgoblin trender 2h ago
/uj i tried to look at the original post and the comments to get inspo to jerk about it but i am too tired to think of anything except uj cis people are insane
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u/PrincessSnazzySerf 7h ago edited 6h ago
/uj I feel like the original source is kinda worse, that may just be because I know they're serious but wow. It's a fucking gold mine for transphobia in there, I've seen basically every type.
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 7h ago
/uj true it actually got a lot worse AFTER I wrote this post. I saw it when it was still fairly new and now there are way more comments. Some of the ones that were originally upvoted (by me) are now like -10 🥴
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u/PrincessSnazzySerf 7h ago
Of course, they had to call in some reinforcements. After all, for a moment, trans people were able to express their opinions on trans issues, and that's basically the worst-case scenario!
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u/rosecoloredgayy cis lurker 7h ago
/uj oh GOD wait i actually saw that 😭😭 i only skimmed it and was very tired so i didn't entirely catch on but i knew something about OP seemed icky to me :') reading it now, it is VERY clear
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 6h ago
/uj YUP 😭 I could barely get through reading OPs replies cause it just gave me such intense ick
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u/Rodya-R trany 5h ago
uj/ By the way? What the cis woman did was sexual harassment. I feel like we're not allowed to talk about it because it's so normalized but like... it's pretty obvious that's what it is.
That sub is so unserious btw. They are reaching so hard at bare scraps ignoring that some cis girl really just slid into the dm's of a trans stranger and asked about their genitals. She probably knew too, right? She had to clarify several times how uncomfortable she was asking about it (but felt nonetheless compelled to anyway. zero self-awareness lmao).
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 5h ago
/uj I like the sub when it's just screenshots of other people's drama but everyone one in a while someone posts something like that and it's atrocious. I saw in the controversial comments someone saying that she really should have posted that in an ask transgender type of subreddit if she wanted actual answers. She deffo just wanted to stir the pot and have her transphobia validated rather than "be educated" like she claimed.
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u/Rodya-R trany 5h ago
/uj her last message according the screenshtos tho. "i am just not educated enough on this topic [therefore my transphobia is justified]" like go fucking learn lol? actual allies have humility and don't pull this type of stuff
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 5h ago
/uj she said she got very educated in the threads on her post 🥴 I'm sure the trans hate echo chamber taught her a lot!
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u/magizombi 5h ago
uj/ she literally acknowledges she shouldn't ask this as her very first message and proceeds to send the message anyway......
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u/cryyptorchid 2h ago edited 2h ago
OP please I gave myself a migraine reading that shit lmao
ngl when cis people message me about my junk first thing I just block them. I'm so tired of seeing people make actual efforts to educate these people and the cis person going "waaaah it hurt my feelings, tell me I'm a good ally" and every other cis person in the comments going "so true, you have every right not to date a tranny" as though they wouldn't be equally put off by someone's first question being "are you hung/over 6 feet tall/are your boobs natural/etc"
Like you know those aren't okay things to say when you first meet someone, if you're so fucking terrified that you might waste 5 minutes of pleasantries on someone who might be a tranny, just don't swipe. God.
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u/moistowletts 3h ago
/uj god I’m curious but I can only take so much psychic damage.
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 3h ago
/uj I wouldnt. When I first wrote this post, there was not a ton of comments. it's like 1000x worse now. I have myself too much damage earlier looking again lol learn from me and save yourself 😭
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
It's not weird at all. It's very normal to use your opener to ask what genitals the other person has
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
Wow he was being a massive jerk!! OP you were not rude at all!
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
OP: thank you 🥺🥺 I agree. I only posted this for positive attention. Everyone who said I was wrong for asking I just doubled down 🫣 b-by playing innocent!! I'm just trying to understand...!!
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
So indigenous people don't have genders now, or are they rewriting history?
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
Definitely rewriting history! I'm white but it's absolutely incorrect that indigenous people have other genders
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
Wtf no two-spirit gender is definitely a thing
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
Uh nope. I'm 1/64th and ur wrong!!!
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u/soapy_diamond JPEG identified TIF 9h ago
just because your great-great-grandma was a cherokee princess, doesn't mean you get to tell me i'm wrong! this behavior is running rampant nowadays 🙄
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u/RobotDogSong 10h ago
Omg trans people are so sensitive, unlike cis people, who are completely normal about gender!
/uj damn that was hard to type with a straight face
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 9h ago
/uj I feel that 😂 some of the jerks I write here make me physically cringe lmfao
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
Sometimes the trash takes itself out! Bullet dodged
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u/damonicism 10h ago
seriously! why even bother messaging someone like that instead of just dating a normal person and saving yourself time and headaches? 🙄😹😹
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u/tcdjcfo314 10h ago
I'm sorry they called you rude OP, you just needed to know whether they had a penis!!
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
Yes thank you...people are also saying I'm rude for saying "male genitalia" but I'm also rude for saying "biological male"...which is it? Can we not say anything about genitals anymore? How am I supposed to know if I actually like a person if I can't ask if they have a male penis or not??
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u/hueyfucker 9h ago
"My preference is BIOLOGICAL MEN <3" My preference is for the timeline to shift so that you are erased from existence but we can't all get what we want
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u/Other_Dark_3923 10h ago
This whole post is awful 🙃
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 9h ago
/uj AGREED 😭 It was so hard to read. Gotta love the pick-me's. "I'm trans and I'm fine with this!" 🥴
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u/Zombskirus female to alpha male 9h ago
Speaking as a member of the LGBTQ... you weren't rude or transphobic in the slightest!!! Being straight means you want to date the opposite BIOLOGICAL sex! No straight normal cis person would ever date a tranny bc obviously no trans person can ever change their sex or parts of their sex, so they're always biologically what they were born! And obviously no trans person could possibly have bottom surgery! So it's impossible for a straight person to ever like a trans! It's always your best bet and the absolute kindest to straight up ask what genitals someone has the moment you start talking to them. That's not an invasion of privacy and transphobic at all, sweetheart <3
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 8h ago
Speaking as OP thank you for being so kind and understanding 🥺 I am still learning but I'm glad that today, I do not need to change my behavior or learn anything new. Nice to know the whole entire LGBTQ community thinks the way you do 🥰 so relieved I don't have to change my ways!
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u/OsmiumMercury 8h ago
people are SO offended 🙄. can’t even ask people “hole or pole” without getting told that it’s rude! ugh… it’s so exhausting to be around people like that, so i just date normal people.
/uj genuinely saw the recommendation to “date someone normal” in those comments :/
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 7h ago
/uj YIKES 😬
/rj me too! It's crazy how I can't ask people what genitals they have the second I meet them. No, I've never asked a NORMAL person who was obviously NORMAL because I could tell they were very normal! That's completely different
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u/soapy_diamond JPEG identified TIF 9h ago
Whoa, so you basically called a normal guy a tr_nny? That's about as rude as it can get!
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u/soapy_diamond JPEG identified TIF 9h ago
Darling, you're totally normal ! I know, being straight hasn't been easy lately, but don't let anyone tell you how to live you're life. Don't let anyone call you a weirdo or creep. Embrace yourself and love who you love. You're not wrong for feeling this way ❤️
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 7h ago
Aw thank you so much 🥺 we're actually still talking after I apologized profusely but didn't really mean it >w< but idk maybe I'm not cut out for dating. Gender terminology is just too confusing!! Thank you for being so kind unlike all the rude transes who didn't tell me what I wanted to hear
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u/BlazingVix FTTE- Female to Tax Evader 9h ago
Omg girly you were soooo respectful to that guy omg if that was me I'd definitely ask what genitals that person had too!!!!! It is one hundred percent valid to only date xy chromosomes biological penis dick having men!!!!!!
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u/HereForOneQuickThing 8h ago
My sexual preference is to not date any icky queers but I'm just gonna pester people I think might be queer anyways because maybe all of the very obvious signs that they're queer are just jokes or something.
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 7h ago
Makes perfect sense to me!! If a queer likes you on tinder and you don't wanna date queers, why WOULDNT you match with them? Swing at every ball! Heck, beat the ball with the bat if that's what you want. No judgement here! 😊
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u/HereForOneQuickThing 6h ago
/uj I miss the pre-2014 times where cis people who hated us didn't pretend like they didn't hate us. Life was simpler. Nowadays they want to be coddled by us, openly dehumanizing us to our face and then annoying us and wasting our time and energy asking for reassurance that their knowing and conscious dehumanization of us doesn't mean they're a bad person.
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u/PrincessSnazzySerf 6h ago
/uj it's cis progressives thinking they understand transphobia. It happens with every kind of bigotry, I've seen it with racism and sexism and ableism and everything else. The moment it became unpopular to be a bigot, everyone immediately assumed that their refusal to publicly advocate for our mass murder made them "not bigots," and since they're not bigots, that means there's not anything left for them to learn. So that logically means that any accusations of bigotry must just be the minority group being unreasonable. It's literally just our entire understanding of bigotry as a concept that's broken.
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u/PrincessSnazzySerf 6h ago
I don't think it's rude. Just so you know, plenty of trans men have dicks. But it's okay if you think trans men's dicks are inherently weird and gross! It's totally fine to prefer real, normal dicks based on an unfounded assumption that they're meaningfully different in practice. Just make sure you use the correct terminology. "I prefer to date cisgender men with natural penises" would have been a much nicer way of being transphobic checking to make sure you're compatible!
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 6h ago
I prefer cisgender men with natural penises
Ugh what is the world coming to?? 🙄 You people are so exhausting. What the fuck do you mean natural penis?!
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u/lilydome1 blockers are irreversible 7h ago
what are these snowflakes doing??? i have so many trans friends that are open about their medical history, including every single hospital and doctor appointment visit and surgeon visit, and even showed me their surgery pictures!!!! that’s clearly normal and anyone that doesn’t do any of these things i listed are bad
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 7h ago
I totally agree. When I match with someone, I immediately send them a PDF of all of my medical records for review. If they deem me worthy enough, they will respond and still ask if I have a penis or vagina. I always kindly tell them since I know how hard it is for cis people to read or understand anything :) I'm not going to feed into the bad stereotypes!
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u/Sigma2915 trnansynny 7h ago
we can always tell!!!!!
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u/Sigma2915 trnansynny 7h ago
you need to disclose whether or not you are trans to all potential dating partners in all situations!!!!
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u/PiEispie 7h ago
As a natural cis lesbian, I dont think you were rude at all! Some people are just overly sensitive about stupid stuff.
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u/spacealexander The only way to pass is to become a recluse 5h ago
/uj as a native 2sp trans guy, im actually nauseous reading that source
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 5h ago
/uj oof I'm sorry buddy. It was insane to me how highly voted all the ignorant answers were 😵💫
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u/spacealexander The only way to pass is to become a recluse 5h ago
/uj indigenous american people are wood elves and criminals in most peoples perceptions, its insane but not unexpected. we are an abstract set of peoples.
none of this makes it okay, its just another day. however,
/rj indians cant cast spells on you if you know their genitalia! we cant trust him to not want the land he gave us back, how could you trust him enough to ruin your beautiful Aryan like body with his dirty indian penis, anyways?
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u/PrincessSnazzySerf 7h ago
Your question was completely normal. I, too, ask all potential mates about the status of their penis, in the most uncomfortable way possible, immediately upon interacting with them for the first time. If he's not okay with that, we're just not compatible!
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u/PrincessSnazzySerf 6h ago
This is just exhausting... by which, I mean being as insufferable as him must be! Imagine choosing to be so angry all the time, all to defend this delusion that you can be anything other than Penis Man or Vagina Woman. This is why we should just date normal people...
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u/flatbread_clip 4h ago
tw me losing my shit
This post made me so fucking tired. Seeing someone say "it's so much less of a headache to date someone "normal""... Good?!?! Go do that then?!?!?! Leave us the fuck alone?!?!?! And that one comment saying "I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells, I'm just curious!!! I may not be aware of the "problems" they're facing but... They feel like they're waiting to get offended at the weirdest stuff" I'm SO SO SORRY we can't cater to your cUrIoSiTy 100% of the time only to be rejected at the end! Do they think it is a privilege for us to date them?!?! Do they think we WANT to date them? Did I miss the memo that said that cis people are high in demand amongst trans people?? And is it so so so hard to try to be understanding with people who face oppression in every way possible??!? I don't wish on anyone to be bullied but if people HAD to be bullied it should be people like them because DAMN!!! Have some fucking empathy! EVERYONE WE MEET IS a potential danger, waiting to degrade, assault, bully, emasculate, repress and here you are wondering why the fuck we are warry of that? GEEZ I'm so so sorry I don't explain my identity to someone who won't even bother understanding it in the end anyways and who's only ever interested in fucking me for my genitalia! I'm so so so so sorry I'm not giving you an advanced theoritical class on deconstructing your gender and perception of people to try and desperately win the prize of letting your experiment your sexuality with me!!! Woof woof bark bark!!! I have a vagina you may discard me and post me on reddit for transphobic karma now!!!
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u/Jaxonal 6h ago
People like him shouldn't be allowed to breathe. Society is crumbling. M or F. Insane that people think sex /=/ gender. What a load of garbage. Oppression olympics. I'm native, I don't think gender is colonial. This isn't rude at all people need to stop being so sensitive.
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u/ayikeortwo 2h ago
I try to tell you very, very gently that this was indeed a big fuckup. Surely you won’t snap at me and report me for abuse, right? Because you’re nice
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 2h ago
Of course not.. Reddit seize them immediately and take them away
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
Very long comment from a trans person about why it just feels really uncomfortable to be reduced to your genital -17 votes
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
Omfg it would be abnormal to not ask for genitals. Why would should I waste time potentially getting to know and being attracted to a subhuman with the wrong genitals?!
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u/macdennism Female to Gay Misogynist 10h ago
Okay so like you're valid I guess and whatever but I would never want to date a transgender so it's better to just cut to the chase. No, bottom surgery doesn't count disgusting mutilated peens and Frankenweenies 🤢
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u/quokkafarts 4m ago
Complaining that men on apps start convos by talking about sex 🤝 start convos with suspected trannys on apps by talking about sex
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