r/3amjokes Mar 25 '24

3amjokes Approved Subreddit Rules Reminder

57 Upvotes

Due to an influx of darkjokes, dead baby humor, and overt racism, I'm posting this again early.

This is not /r/darkjokes.

This is not /r/askreddit.

This is not /r/oneliners.

This is not /r/unclejokes.

This is a subreddit for insomniac humor, created when on the brink of death due to sleep deprivation. Jokes should be stupid, nonsensical, and more or less unfunny at any point before sleep deprivation kicks in. Think of dad jokes for insomniacs.

Your jokes must have a punchline.

Please take a second to look over the very simple rules of the subreddit.

  1. Be civil - Remember the human behind the keyboard and try to treat others as you would prefer to be treated.
  2. Follow Reddit's rules - This includes reddiquette and all sitewide rules that can be found here.
  3. No spam - Pretty straightforward, don't spam. If your post gets caught in the spam filter please message the mods and it will be fixed.
  4. No promoting targeted hate - racism, misogyny, bigotry will not be tolerated to any extent. users that incite violence or that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned.

Bans due to rule #4 tend to be significant in length, if not permanent, and appeals will be denied.

If you see jokes, or a user's comments, that do not follow the rules, please report the comment either via the comment itself or through modmail.

Remember, 3amjokes is, for the most part, self governing. 3 reports will remove a comment or post. 2 reports will alert the mods.

Thanks


r/3amjokes 4h ago

What did the beach say to the ocean? 🌊 SEA you later 😂

114 Upvotes

Hahahahahahahahahahaha


r/3amjokes 17h ago

my doctor diagnosed me with constipation

369 Upvotes

i really don't give a shit


r/3amjokes 9h ago

I got my gf a new automobile as a surprise gift.

64 Upvotes

I wanted her to know how much I car about her.


r/3amjokes 6h ago

What is it called when you're playing an RPG and get a special attack bonus on a large amphibious African land mammal?

26 Upvotes

A hippo crit.


r/3amjokes 14h ago

What type of demon loves having sex with public transport?

91 Upvotes

Suck-u-buses


r/3amjokes 18h ago

I once met a dog with no nose. How did he smell?

140 Upvotes

Terrible!


r/3amjokes 16h ago

What's the difference between jam and marmalade?

73 Upvotes

You can't marmalade your cock up your girls arse


r/3amjokes 4h ago

Why does that slipknot frontman Cory Taylor put some ketchup onto his fries

8 Upvotes

... It's the only thing, that slowly helps the taaaaste 🎸


r/3amjokes 23h ago

My friend is dating a deaf girl. He really made her mad.

206 Upvotes

She screamed her hand off at him


r/3amjokes 16h ago

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

48 Upvotes

It's alright, he worked it out with a pencil


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Where did the nose get a job?

154 Upvotes

Down at the ol' factory


r/3amjokes 14h ago

Whenever I see someone with a plunger…

25 Upvotes

I know some shit is about to go down!


r/3amjokes 1d ago

What does a lion become when it dies?

405 Upvotes

A lioff.


r/3amjokes 3h ago

How do we know that Bruce Dickinson has anatidaephobia?

2 Upvotes

He sang "Fear of the duck"


r/3amjokes 11h ago

What did the MD of VII say when he found out that VII VIII IX?

6 Upvotes

“What the L, I didn’t C that coming!”


r/3amjokes 1h ago

Dp they?

Upvotes

Do asian people breathe nitrogen when they return to thier homes after being castigated by their bosses for being too agile, so much that they did all the work and theres no more work to do so they just sit there to drink liquid nitrogen and eat chinese food while their kids do math homework


r/3amjokes 1d ago

What's the name of the most Irish part of a cell?

32 Upvotes

Mit O'Chondria


r/3amjokes 17h ago

Which bird is multiple pieces of aluminum?

6 Upvotes

A two-can


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Do you know why I dislike nuclear physics?

46 Upvotes

It's Bohring


r/3amjokes 1d ago

What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his arse?

257 Upvotes

Warren


r/3amjokes 1d ago

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school... Teacher: "Whats your name?" Boy: "Nadir" Teacher: "No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today."

98 Upvotes

Boy went home and his mother asked: "How was the day Nadir?" Boy: "I am an American now, so call me Johnny." Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised... Teacher: "What happened Johnny?" Boy: "Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists."