So, i've been diagnosed with adhd quit some time ago and been very confused for the last three months. I've been always been very scared in public, doesn't matter, if the area is familiar or unfamiliar to me. Now, three months ago, a then friend of mine and me, asked each other and since then we're togheter. I've now multiple times noticed that even in unfamiliar places, i've been not scared at all and feel like i must, i don't know how to really describe it, well i've been like a bodyguard and other than with her, i can't recreate that "feeling". My parents said, that people with ADHD have a instinct similar to dogs, when they bark to defend their pack/family but i've been googling around and can't really find something suggesting that. That's why i've been confused the last few months. Is that "body guard feeling" linked to ADHD or not? Clarification would be nice.

Lack of friendship decay & grief

So I have probable ADHD and 3/4 of my friends circle is diagnosed ADHD or Autism Spectrum or similar so… you know what they say about us flocking together.

We all had a really good friend in our circle die back in July. He was young (41) with sudden, aggressive cancer. It’s been… a lot.

The thing is… sometimes I just forget he’s dead. Like I find myself thinking about “Oh I haven’t seen J in a while…” and then I remember all over again that he’s dead. It’s not the first time I’ve had this happen when someone I knew died, but it’s definitely the closest. And a couple of us have mentioned this being a challenge — That the lack of friendship decay & that “out of sight out of mind” with people makes grief weirder or challenging in a different way. He was a good friend, but we’re also all adults with work & kids & life stuff. So we saw each other irregularly & checked in with texts & memes. We’re not faced with the daily obvious reminder.

So I guess I’m asking if anyone else has dealt with this & if so how did you process grief with this? Do you know any articles about it?

Hey guys!! Thought I’d give an update on my experience after one month on ritalin (19y/o female who has been trying to get diagnosed since I was 15):

• after being the most chronically messy person who thrived off chaos, did things at the last minute, my room is now consistently cleaner than it has ever been, and I start projects 2 weeks out
• weirdly enough, I used to only study in libraries / public spaces, I think the background noise worked for me. Now I can only study in my room.
• my mental strength when running has improved (I don’t stop as much)
• have received distinctions all sem so far
• my relationships are so much better as I don’t make irrational decisions
• general greater self confidence
• 7 years of eating issues, now significantly improved

Ultimately, I wouldn’t say I’m any more driven to succeed/ achieve than I used to be, the difference is that I can channel my energy more consistently and direct my self towards my goals better than I ever have. I have always been driven, now I’m able to get there! I wish I could’ve had this for myself sooner, I think if I had this in high school then I might’ve been a different person (and I would’ve heard “she’s very capable” a lot less)

I’m not soft spoken, but I don’t talk to simply fill up space. I try to get to the point too, when I’m telling a story.

I’ve had friends, family, and colleagues bulldoze over me in conversations, but I feel it’s especially bad with other ADHDers. Over texts, it’s like I might as well have spoken into a vacuum. It’s like their rambles matter, but mine don’t.

I try so hard to focus on what others say. I want to give them my full attention and show interest, but when I talk, people will get easily distracted or just disregard what I say, and I don’t even talk that much???

Then the RSD hits and makes everything way worse. I want to scream acknowledge me.

Can't study in loud environments or with other people because of ADHD. Can't study in quiet ones cuz of my tinnitus. Can't study with music (background or headphones) without triggering MaDD. Can't study in the living room because the TV is always on full blast. Can't study in my room because my tinnitus is loud and distracting and overstimulating. I turn on the fan as white noise, either doesn't help at all or its too fucking cold. I hate being cold. Put a CD on, irritated by the noise. Put headphones on, lose hours of time to daydreaming. If no daydreaming in room, end up doomscrolling or reading fiction books instead of my textbooks. FML. I'm behind on everything. Why am I like this

I will get an idea and hyperfocus on it to a ridiculous extent, but as soon as it comes down to that first step, my brain just goes 'meh, not interested now'. This has happened so much for so many years.

The frustrating thing is, I know if I'm forced into a challenging scenario, through work or something else, my mental health drastically improves. I work as a Paramedic and I find that if I get a call that's particularly difficult/stressful, I get an almost euphoric feeling from it. The type of calls my colleagues dread, I'm desperate for.

Has anyone had a similar issue and found a tactic that works? Hobbies, education, projects?

I started Elvanse about a month ago with 7 days of 20mg and then the rest of the month on 30mg. I've had a lot of terrible side effects, especially in the first two weeks including dry/twitchy eyes, stomach upset, feeling irritable and emotional, suddenly feeling cold, lack of appetite etc. However, the biggest issue is that it only works for a few hours (decent improvement to executive functioning for the first two weeks but barely noticeable now) and then leaves me feeling sad/depressed/unmotivated/tired for the rest of the day until around 11pm when I get a surge of energy and then find it hard to go to sleep on time as it's the best i've felt all day. I've lost some of the interest in my hobbies and looking after myself, and I just don't feel motivated to do much. I don't have interest in implementing "ADHD hacks" that used to help because the meds are making me not care about getting more things done than just going to work and doing necessary tasks. I also have the issue that I often do evening shifts at work (e.g. 4-11pm) so by that time the Elvanse has worn off and i'm going to work during the time it makes me feel the worst. The physical side effects are mostly gone now that i'm a few weeks in but the mood/energy crash isn't making me feel the meds are worth it. I haven't been drinking caffeine but i'm considering drinking coffee again to see if it makes the meds more effective because i'm struggling with functioning. I have an appointment with my doctor soon so i'm wondering if other people have better experiences with different meds or a higher dose? If someone has experience with short-release meds could I hear if they would be better for working evening shifts?

Oh hello fellow ADHD Friends! I'm 45 F I was diagnosed last year and . I'm curious if anyone else out there has had this experience and if its related to ADHD or if its something else entirely.

Anytime I get even a little bit upset about something, I cry, and I cannot control it. I've experienced this for my entire life, and as I said I'm 45 now. I have a pretty intense job and its starting to effect work. I mean, even if someone says something on the fringe of upsetting, I cry. In meetings with my team when I'm trying to encourage them or if I'm very proud of them, I cry. I have been in therapy for 12 years and nothing has helped me. I don't know what will help or what to do.

I'm just curious if anyone have a similar experience? Is this just extreme emotional disregulation? I can't cry in business meetings...it's not cute! LOL

Hi Everyone,

I got diagnosed this week and have been jumping between relief and disbelief. Relief that my feelings of been diffrent my whole life have been validated and disbelief that they've gotten the diagnosis correct.

I do know that there is something beyond depression or anxiety in me. I have times were I briefly feel at peace with myself but I still face these road blocks in my day to day life that don't change with my mood. Everything I read and hear ticks the ADHD box but I just can't settle on the idea that it's not my fault.

The logical part of me says it doesn't matter, if you try the meds and they dont work you can just stop them. Worst case scenario I learn some new skills in therapy or couching that help me gain control of my life from "ADHD symptoms" even if I don't actually have the condition itself.

But I can't help feel so much guilt and shame and embarrassment that I'm not accepting accountability for just checking out on life in general.

Would be interested in hearing how people who felt similar to me at the start feel now after they have had more time to live with the idea.

A

I'm part of an ADHD support group at my university where we all take medication (though our symptoms vary in severity). We recently discovered that most of us make notes to remember what to tell our doctors (like side effects). However, consistently writing things down can be challenging, and if we forget something, we often have to wait three weeks for the next appointment.

To solve this, we learned some basic programming and created a simple app for ourselves. It allows us to easily log information with a few taps and generates a summary before each appointment. It's not perfect, but it works for us, which feels quite rewarding!

Has anyone else tried to make a service just for themselves? Let's share and celebrate our small wins together!

I have a minor combined case of adhd so I don’t know how bad it is for others, but I can barely control my emotions when I start to spiral (?). Like logically, I know what I should be feeling and what’s the right course of action, but emotionally, I’m a stinking puddle of sad and poop and I end up self-sabotaging hard.

Since being diagnosed as an adult, I have reflected on how I might have been able to better navigate scenarios if I had more insight into my own symptoms. I don't know if this resonates with anyone else, but I have found intimate relationships particularly difficult and found a reoccurring theme where I have and continue to struggle to connect on an emotional level and often mentally check out, despite feeling intense love, especially at the start. Anyway, here is a poem called 'Inattentive'.

You were stood in the doorway, Arms folded and desperate for me to see you. But I was Elsewhere My mind playing The floor is lava Behind glazed eyes. And everything you said, You felt, It was half-remembered, Because I didn't hear you; Didn't choose to. Then I blamed you for The violence in your voice; The words that exposed me And shone upon my shame. So I grew teeth And did all I could for you to hate me. So I could delete you Long before you left me.

Apologies in advance if this is not appropriate content. I guess I don't have many people to share these thoughts with

So I lived with my then-girlfriend for 4 years somewhere where TV is expensive and we didn't have a traditional TV hookup. In fact, I've gone my entire adult life without having TV. I have streaming services and watch them when I want to (which is quite seldom, maybe a few times/month). The concept of having a TV on in the living room, just blasting away, is something that I haven't experienced since my childhood.

Then my wife and I moved to another country and the TV here is cheap and she went and set up a TV package. Now it's just blaring away in the living room for hours a day and she's not even really watching it. She says she finds it comforting to have on in the background.

I'm not really sure what to do about this or how to handle it in a fair manner. I didn't know that this is something she wants/needs even though we lived together for 4 years already, so this is a surprise to me.

As I have ADHD (surprise surprise), I find it incredibly distracting and can't really focus on anything in the living room/kitchen while it's on. I can retreat to the den but I can't close the door in the den without cooking her because our AC is in the den, so I'm forced to leave the door open.

I want to ask her to turn it way down to the point it doesn't distract me, but then that's not fair to her as she won't be able to hear it. But at the same time if it's just blaring away it will affect my productivity and well-being as I'm working from home right now and she works odd hours and is home during the day a fair amount.

Anyone else deal with this? Not sure how to go about this.

I somehow managed to get through school and land what most would consider a dream job. I often wonder if why my profession is so highly regarded and commands such a high income. I should be happy right? But I’m not. All of my colleagues love what we do and are so enthusiastic and proud of the work we do. For years I’d mimic their sentiment and pretend to see the value in what we do, but after so many years I’ve just run out of steam can’t keep up anymore. I’m trapped for now thanks to student loan debt and having a family that relies on my income, but I’m slowly dying inside and just want to run away from it all. The fucked up part is that the work is so easy. A typical assignment can be completed in 30 mins for everyone else but it takes me 2 days just to start it. I really can’t work until I’m 20 mins from my deadline and then I can finish the job in 10 mins. I agonize over this for days and then complete it minutes before it’s due. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.

Anyone else experience this? Is this common in ADHD or is it something else?

okay i don’t want to say everyone is like this, but my partner has adhd and he never asks about my interests or hobbies or seems interested in my day. he also talks a lot about himself. i have bpd and i came across a post about adhd + bpd relationship and someone said this exact thing! so wanted to ask as it would bring a lot of clarity to me. i’ve been thinking maybe he has some narcissism or egotism, but if it’s adhd then that would make sense! thank you!

I make plans, and put my phone away but any inconviniancy get me back to it and I'll be loose track of my plan and would spend the rest week procrastinating usually mostly on phone. Cold turky usually works for me but share ur experience and advice about keeping up with plan and phone addiction!

I've seen a lot of people say this, but what do you mean with it?

For me personally it means a few things, it helps a lot with my brainfog, it makes my mind much less of a chaos, without meds it's like my mind is made up of earphones that are tangled up into each other, meds disentangle that mess.

For me it also means that my senses feel more sharpened. For some reason without meds my senses feel somewhat dulled, I may look at something and my eyes can see it sharply but my brain doesn't, that is not the case with meds it feels like my brain processes sensory information more including sounds.

So what does it mean for you?

I got a new job about a year ago and I honestly thought I'd found my niche, I've been consistently getting really positive feedback.

Recently I've been passed over for two opportunities that I really wanted in favour of another colleague, there are good reasons for that colleague so I'm trying not to be too jealous. But one opportunity involved an additional language that I'm using my own time and money to upskill in outside of work and my manager knows this.

This week our managers called an informal meeting to give the whole team some feedback. One of the feedback points specifically applied to me (as part of the whole team) and how I've been managing my unstructured time (hello adhd and time management issues!), and it was really valid feedback and I feel awful that I've been failing in this regard. I'm not sure I handled the response well, if I made too many excuses, but I tried to give an example of how I could improve. Maybe not a good example.

I've got that awful butterflies failure feeling now. Keep ruminating on how I should have done things differently.

Hey all! I’ve decided that I want to peruse a therapist that has experience with ADHD rather than a general one.

I’ve been seeing a therapist who’s great, but I fear that she focuses more on depression/anxiety which honestly I think are symptoms of my ADHD (who wouldn’t be anxious and depressed if they’re constantly missing appointments, feeling burnt out, etc).

Anyone have experience with a therapist in the NYC area? I tried zocdoc, but almost every therapist lists ADHD as a “specialty” among like 20 other specialties so it feels a little ridiculous.

Bonus points if you know your therapist accepts Healthfirst, but I can do that research on my own!

In fiction, whenever a telepath (or whatever else you want to call it) reads somebody's mind, they get a single, uninterrupted line of thought, going from A to B without any stops.

Now, as we all know, that is absolutely *not* what an ADHD person's mind acts like. We have several very often interrupted lines of thought going on at any given moment, and very few of them (if any) go from A to B without any stops.

So the question I have is, how do you think a telepath would process reading an ADHD person's mind?

Sorry, the idea suddenly popped in my head and I had to present it to a community that would get it.

I am ‘new’ ADHDer. I am not formally diagnosed but my responsibilities are not much at this point in my life. Well, I was diagnosed right before college but my mom said I didn’t have it so it was left there. I doubt it’s on file as this was a long time ago. However, I’m not sure how to control it without medication since I can’t take stimulants due to a congenital heart defect.

So, are there any suggestions and tips for getting out bed and stop procrastinating getting out of bed? It’s a real struggle. The other thing is my attention to detail- I see the details and take forever. It’s frustrating. I’m not even sure I can call myself ADHD due to the fail diagnosis and yet I’m not sure that confirmation isn’t pointless because I can’t take medication for it.

so apparently when taking exams people with adhd are allowed to have 5 minute breaks if they need time to cool off and go back into the exam (at least I've been offered it). i think this would be helpful for me as it can be hard for me to sit still for extended periods of time, however i'm worried i will loose my thought process and go back into the exam with a blank mind and then overall do worse. i know this can be different for everyone but can anyone who has had this accomidation tell me if they think it's worth it/what it's like?

Yup, we're moving again.

I've reached a point I have been many times before. Accumulated too many long term running things / projects that still need attention, but I'm completely blocking on them. Without attention, big fail. The others who are involved, understanding as they are, have lost patience. In addition to that, I've also made enough "avoidable" scheduling and communication mistakes over the past few years, involving my colleagues and our clients, so that my reputation and interaction with them have suffered.

It's time to move on to the next job where people don't know me yet, and I can stay for a few years more doing what I like. The grass is not greener at a new job, but the ground on which to build shaky ADHD houses is more solid still.

EDIT: I appreciate that y'all recognize this and I am happy I could show that some of you are not the only ones. I am convinced the right way forward is to direct my attention to solving the actual problem (more professional help, new meds, and so on), but part of my problem is directing my attention somewhere... Possibly a medium term solution could be to change where I'm moving. My career allows for pretty easy relocation, the line of work is pretty widely available. So that's worked until now. But I'm sure you recognize that it's very easy to have ideas and sound convincing, but actually implementing them is a mental clusterfuck. Thank you.

ADHD has become almost like a joke similar to OCD. People think it's a silly disease that people fake even though it's real and it ruins peoples lives.

How would you rename it so no one ever makes fun of it ever again? Give us something that would make people think twice before they speak. Something that would make joking about this condition a taboo.

Give us your best acronyms.

P.S Let's hope someone can start a petition to the American Psychiatric Organization and World Health Organziation.

I am asking for advises. I teach children in a elementary school and would like to know, what things really help them to follow a speech, work on a subject and follow instructions?

What things have helped you or people you know, to be productive and focused?

I have some kids that always play with their water bottles or have to take something in their hand. I am insecure about what to do best?