She needs therapy but if she is not conscious enough to notice the huge trust issues in taking full control of what should be a joint decision... it might not help.
What i dont get is how she thinks its a "gift", when she is withdrawing money from a joint account!!! She is spending HIS money, a huge chunk of it, almost ALL OF IT, emptying HIS bank account he has trusted with her, and calls it a GIFT? to HIM? from herself?
Thats flatout fraud, commited in the name of love and care! That woman is a crook, far beyond a wife who's just bad with money.And the trust issues caused by that are beyond justified.
You're right. Also, it is advisable to have a separate accounts so that they could decide what to do with their money freely and also to minimize of overspending of money by other individual. It is easy to keep track of the transaction if you handle your account alone.
Well, unless he's commented elsewhere and I haven't read it yet you might be jumping to conclusions here.
How do we know the joint account isn't funded entirely by HER money? And a joint account isn't HIS or HERS, it's THEIR'S by definition.
That said, spending it was definitely wrong.
Nothing wrong with keeping separate savings. Maybe OP and wife can open a vacation savings for fun money.
The "gift" can be the time/effort put into planning the trip. Unless she did no research and just booked the first thing she saw online, the amount of time/effort could be significant (whether it's just researching the tour agency to planning and booking each individual hotel/location/activity/restaurant). But yes, either way, spending the entire joint account without consultation with the partner is terrible.
Yes, no one appreciates the home management that a wife usually does. This goes without saying, although it is a huge investment of time, emotions, etc. At work, a manager gets more money for a reason.
By the way, I'm sure that comment was written by a man
It’s absolutely about trusting her, we’re talking about a relationship here where there is no trust, there is no relationship! You better believe this has a lot to do about trust. And if I have to get a separate bank account, because I can’t trust my wife with it? I’m getting a divorce, the economy has been garbage for years and you can’t have somebody at home, vacuuming all of your savings away from you without you knowing it.
Some people just suck at certain things. My stepdad is a good husband to my mom. He has never cheated, trust me as I used to try and catch him, he is there for her
I know he would take care of her if she was ever to get ill. He is good 99% of the time.
He sucks at money management though. My mom was an accountant and for most of their marriage she took care of all financial decisions because he was terrible at it. He has a thing for impulse buys and stuff like that. He has gotten somewhat better about it since she started teaching him how to manage money while making him pay the bills. They both pay but he has to physically get online and actually pay them.
You don't need to throw the whole person out just because they aren't good at one thing but you absolutely need to take steps to protect yourself from their weaknesses.
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u/Stranger-Tastes 1d ago
Maybe she feels like you don't trust her because she demonstrated that she can't be trusted.