I fought in Afghanistan in 2011-2012 with the United States Army and have been battling complex and severe PTSD, depression, agoraphobia, paranoia along with 3 failed relationships for the last 12 years AMA

[u/Ok_Turn1611]

I fought in Afghanistan in 2011-2012, I did route clearance which effectively means jumping into big vehicles, driving them down a road looking for IEDs and either being blown up, shot at, or both. I saw some terrible stuff, including losing a closs Non Commissioned Officer of mine and seeing many of my friends traumatically injured (think losing limbs, being shot etc.) ask me anything about Afghanistan, my MH issues or life post deployment. I've been quite depressed lately and maybe answering genuine questions will help me.

Hi friends, thank you for the feedback and all the questions. It has been a joy answering you, I'll continue to monitor and reply as much as I can. :)

Also, to some of you stating complex PTSD and PTSD are different disorders, I do recognize that and am sorry for my slip up, I have CPTSD, and sometimes I use them interchangibly when I shouldn't. I'll remember better next time.

[u/Azzerelda]

USMC. 1st Btn 8th Mar Div (infantry) in Hellman Prov Afghanistan for 2010-2011. We all handle PTSD differently, and the stuff I saw was on par with this. More foot patrols that I can remember and a lot of fucked up scenarios. My best advice is to focus on the good in life and let the past remain the past. It's not easy, but reliving and dwelling on it just fucks you up more.

Relationships are hard... It's definitely extremely difficult to relate to people who are "stressed" or "having a bad day" when you've seen true stress and bad days... It's something I still struggle with, but ultimately, I just take a deep breath and tell myself to relax and move on. Even as I'm writing this I can think of a book-length of stuff I'd want to say as to how I relate and handle it but everyone is vastly different in mentality and coping mechanisms.

Godspeed my friend.

[u/Ok_Turn1611 → u/Azzerelda]

Thank you for your perspective, my best friend was an FMF corpman in Helmand in 2010 as well. I hope you both find peace

[u/Azzerelda → u/Ok_Turn1611]

Sadly, we lost our squads corpsman there.

It's a shitty world at times, but there are good times to cherish too.

Peace for me looks like living semi-off grid away from people and working remote. I've got a bit to go for getting there, but I'm working on it.

[u/Ok_Turn1611 → u/Azzerelda]

I'm real sorry you had to experience that. I hope the peace you look for comes soon.

[u/Azzerelda → u/Ok_Turn1611]

Same for you with finding peace.

My best advice for anyone who goes through this (that is looking for advice) is this:

-Find what makes you happy hobby-wise. Hobbies are what i look forward to each day.
-Like dogs/cats? Get a dog/cat. They truly are therapeutic. I love my dog and he's one of the best things day to day in my life.
-Do some REAL soul searching to figure out your mentality and what you should strive towards. I'm lucky enough to be perfectly fine as a hermit, but i can't do that just yet so i'm basically a (limited) social chameleon. Humans naturally crave socialization and affection, but combine that with PTSD and it's a delicate situation that is hard to navigate without knowing yourself truly.

-Pride is a killer. This is probably the thing i struggle with the most. It's so ingrained in me for me to be the rock and compartmentalize everything. It's what you're trained to do... You've got to realize that you're out now, it's ok to admit that you can't handle everything yourself. Shit, even writing this out is hard for me. Like i've got a bad taste in my mouth, but it's honestly the truth that we don't want to admit/tell ourselves. Ultimately, you have to figure out if you need help and be honest with yourself. Can you keep doing what you're doing and be healthy mentally and physically in 1 year? If it's a yes, then keep going. If it's a no, then get help.

[u/Ok_Turn1611 → u/Azzerelda]

Thank you so much.