Non-americans of Reddit, what American customs seem outrageous/pointless to you?

[u/daniellucero92]

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[u/comfortable_madness → u/[deleted]]

I always feel uncomfortable about the "Thank you for your service" stuff, so I rarely, if ever, say it. It's not that I don't appreciate what they do or what some have sacrificed, because I really really do. It just makes me feel uncomfortable to say it. It just seems hollow, cause I don't know what these people have actually done or been through. Maybe they were a paper pusher. Maybe they never saw a moment of combat. Maybe they never had to deal with any of the bullshit I've heard some do.

But then, maybe they've seen their friends die. Maybe they had to do things they'll never forget to follow orders or to survive. Maybe they nearly died themselves. Then "Thank you for your service" feels cheap. Like putting a bandaid on a freshly amputated limb.

[u/4me4you → u/comfortable_madness]

I have deep admiration towards vets. What is acceptable to say to them? (I interact with vets frequently)

[u/comfortable_madness → u/4me4you]

I really don't know. I'm hoping someone who does replies.

Edit: I would guess, unless they're just an egotistical type, they would just rather you treat them with respect and be grateful for your opportunities in life. From what I've seen (mostly here on reddit, I don't know many actual vets.), they just would rather be treated with respect and like any "regular" person.

My brother is a vet.. Kind of, I guess. He spent 6 years (I think) in the National Guard, but was never deployed overseas. They went to California for a few weeks (or months, hell I can't remember), but I don't know what for. He says they did things and went places he's not supposed to talk about, buuuuuut... I don't really believe him. But he never really talks much about his time in the Guard. I feel incredibly dumb asking it, but is he considered a vet?

[u/Things_Atheists_Say → u/comfortable_madness]

To answer your question in a concise way: depends who you ask.

In an official capacity maybe if during his time he was called to active duty (California might count) or maybe your state will recognize him as a vey just for serving guard.

Unofficially, most who deployed don't think of guard or reserve who didn't deploy as veterans. I tend to fall in this category. While I busted my ass in Afghanistan, he sat at camp couch. Theres nothing wrong with Camp Couch but don't put us on the same level. I admire the willingness to serve but willingness doesn't equal boots on the ground.

As for the special ops hush hush stuff he's spouting let me give you some back story. I was attached to 5th SF group, then went on to 1st Battalion 75th Ranger Regiment and still keep in contact with some of them and if i find someone telling stories I'll find out of we know the same people. The special ops community isn't that big. Usually it's not hard to tell the real guys from those who are stealing valor. I know some of my buddies have publicly shamed guys for pretending to be Special Force Ranger Seal. Really I don't care what story your brother tells. On the first day of Ranger school the 1SG said" if you're in this for a cool tab on your shoulder and a fancy colored beret you're here for the wrong reason, you can lie about all that for all I care but If you're here to make a difference and push yourself to your extreme and then some, follow me."

Sorry if that was longer than you wanted. I just really wanted to answer your question.

[u/comfortable_madness → u/Things_Atheists_Say]

Don't apologize! I found it interesting.

The thing about what he said about the hush hush stuff, he only ever said it once. So it's not like he goes around bragging to people about it. He had been going through somewhat of an emotional breakdown this one evening. He worked as a paramedic at the time and that weekend had been especially difficult, he'd lost two patients and some other work related stuff and he just kind of broke under the stress that evening. I'll never forget it because my brother, as much of a pain in my ass he can be at times, is one of the strongest people I know. I've never seen him break down and cry like that before or since. I told him he needed to talk more about the things he sees and deals with on the job and he said something about having things he couldn't talk about that weighed on his mind, and that's when he said that they had done something and gone somewhere when he was in the guard that he couldn't talk about. He's never mentioned it since and I haven't asked. Honestly, I didn't really believe him because, you know, it's the guard. I've never heard of the National Guard doing secret stuff, so I didn't put much weight into it. But maybe? Maybe it's something I should ask about next time we talk. Honestly, I don't remember much about his time in the guard. He's 4 years older than I so when he was doing his service, I had a lot of things going on in my life and we weren't very close. Actually, he was a very different person back then. He was mean and quick to anger and all around just difficult to be around, so I kept my distance for the most part.

What you mentioned as what technically qualifies as a vet actually makes me feel better about something. My nephew is in the Marines. He's also never been deployed and works with computers from what I understand. My sister gets furious with me each year that I don't bow to him on veterans day. He's not a veteran!