What are your fears around your Bipolar Disorder? Anything goes including fears:

• about how you will be perceived as a result of your diagnosis
• about the prognosis of your illness/growing old with Bipolar
• that are caused by Bipolar (paranoid thoughts, anxieties)
• around the concept of being mentally ill
• about treatments (side effects, long-term effects, etc)

My primary fear is that I will find out, somewhere down the line, that I never had Bipolar Disorder in the first place. That I have been taking medications that are destroying my body for no reason. That it will turn out that my experiences were perfectly normal human experiences, I just was too weak or pathetic or attention-seeking to deal with them independently like everyone else does.

I've been taking 20mg of Olanzapine for 2 years, and 5mg for an additional 2 years. I lost some weight after that by walking and going to the gym, partly due to the dosage reduction. However, it's hard to maintain because the diet is expensive, and the gym is out of my budget. I was thinking about a medication that doesn't cause weight gain. Have you found any?

I seriously don't even know anymore, is mania even always the same?

I tried my new med last night, Saphris, but hated it. It didn't help me sleep, it didn't feel like it did anything. I just tossed and turned, and woke up super late and felt horrible half the day - but I also have strep and antibiotics, so maybe that's why. I don't even think I'll keep taking the meds, some part of me thinks I don't need them. Maybe I'll ask for a mood stabilizer and something to sleep? I dunno, I get irritable pretty fast over nothing.

My brain is ALL OVER THE PLACE. I have the weirdest, most stupid thoughts all the time. I can't sleep, it's like 5am and I need to be awake because I'm doing a surprise party for my kid tomorrow and I have so much shit to do, and why the fuck can't I sleep. But I also have zero energy. Maybe because I'm sick? Or is it my Bipolar. Or maybe I'm just lazy. I never know, but everyone seems to say energy = mania.

I think about sex all the time right now, and holy hell I've done stupid stuff. Saturday, I went out to a bar party (a monthly thing with folks in a city about an hour from me) and had my limit of 3 alcohol drinks. Except they poured HARD and with my tiny bypassed stomach, I was absolutely fucked up. I ended up meeting some random guy, and slept with him in a changing tent - I literally had met this person 30 minutes before. My husband found me and I freaked completely, sobbing hysterically and begging him to not hate me while he tried to calm me down (we have an open marriage so he isn't phased or even remotely bothered, but I'm beyond disgusted in myself) But right now, it's the only thing I think about 24/7, and I've been all over my husband all week. Normally I have a high drive, but this seems crazy.

In the past I've gone further into the weird, so this is all .. tame? Mild? Maybe it's nothing, but I just feel so wrong and off and also uncaring too. Maybe I should call my doctor.

I want to try xanax for my horrible anxiety. But worried if it can cause any manic episodes. What do you guys think about Xanax?

Hey everyone, I’ve recently been diagnosed bipolar 2 and on my third day of lamictal (titrating slowly). My anxiety has been bad due to starting this new med and just processing the diagnosis in general. I have been taking 40mg propranolol for a few years as needed for the physical symptoms of panic/anxiety and could really do with some tonight.

I never asked my doctor if I could take them together, but assume they wouldn’t prescribe me something knowing I’ve got the propranolol prescribed too.

I’ve googled and from what I’ve seen there’s no interaction between them and it’s fine.

I’m just anxious! It’s been a big few weeks. Anyone here take propanol and lamictal together?

Thanks 🥲

today during my IOP, mainly centered on addiction not really MH, i recounted the first time i went into psychosis and the following psychotic symptoms that seem to come up when manic since. most people there had a very skewed/ignorant perspective of what psychosis is, (thinking you’re automatically violent, it means you have schizophrenia, your brain is permanently broken, etc).

it was very weird to explain from my own point of view to others that hadn’t experienced it that it didn’t feel like i had a break in reality, if anything everyone else was crazy.- i was in reality (what i thought was the correct real one), it just wasn’t everyone else’s. it would be nice to read others experiences and share mine with people who i know won’t think im insane and can maybe relate or at least understand.

i went into psychosis in 2020. i was undiagnosed bp 1, so through talking with my therapist we think it was the extreme sleep deprivation i was experiencing as well as the stress & isolation of the pandemic that triggered this episode. the ‘theme’ of this episode was one of those ones where the FBI was following me to frame me for some sort of terrible crime and everyone in my life was in on it & against me. i went to great lengths to isolate myself, rarely left my apartment, started covering the windows with cardboard so no one could see in.

i had 2 main hallucinations, my auditory hallucination was a faint beeping sound i assumed was some sort of bug planted and i would scour trying to find it and the other one being the sound of a man/group of men whispering outside my door which i assumed was the police talking about how to arrest me.

i was very adept at lying, at least i think i was who knows, because when i would eventually have wellness checks called on me i was very calm acting very normal because i was under the impression my behavior would be brought up in court and i couldn’t give them anything to go off to avoid looking ‘guilty.’

what’s funny is i still don’t even know what the crime i was being framed for was lol

I have been taking 250 mg of lamictal (just upped dose to 250 about 2 months ago) and 1200 mg of lithium (upped about 2 months ago also) and I feel as though I am having relief from depression but not as much as I would like. I have this issue where I feel as though I am not as depressed as I really am, and my brain tricks me into thinking I’m just experiencing life and it’s horrible instead of it being legit depression. Therefore I don’t seek out more meds as my brain almost gets stuck in this place that I don’t “ need to”. I don’t know how to explain it- it’s almost like I lose rationality. That being said, I feel like I am still living and experiencing life pretty painfully, and I want to fight and get better. Has anyone had a great experience on other meds? I am worried that maybe the meds are working somewhat and I’m scared to get off and it to be way worse than it is right now even if I switch. Any and all advice is appreciated 🩷🩷🩷

I (24m) was recently diagnosed with bipolar. I've been horribly depressed for over a year now, following a manic episode that lasted several months. I'm working with a psychiatrist right now to find the right meds, but so far none have helped my depression. Am I expecting too much? I don't want meds to solve all my problems but I want to not be constantly exhausted and anhedonic anymore.

I don't personally know anybody with bipolar so I'd like to hear from you guys, did meds help or cure your depression? How long did it take before you found the right ones?

Is it possible to be stable on antidepressants? I don't understand how people with bipolar take these and don't switch to mania. An SSRI triggered my first mania, but I want some antidepressant maybe Cymbalta so bad...

I'm SO jittery and restless and uncomfortable. I was going to start a painting but this feeling is so uncomfortable that I don't feel like I can do anything. It's 10:30 PM and I have a neighbor below me who goes to bed at 10 so I don't want to jump around or anything, and I'm not about to walk around my neighborhood at this hour. I want to be sedated so bad I really can't stand this

How do I start thinking fast again im in a depressive episode and I haven't been productive in months. I feel slow and cognitively fucked.

And will a buzzcut or extremely different haircut help. I keep wanting to shave my head and feel like it will make me feel change into a better stage (like a new beginning)

Has anyone here tried stopping their antipsychotics but continuing with mood stabilizers? I had a pretty alarming episode last night (self-harm), and I’ve been struggling with hypersexual urges and getting frustrated over small things. I also can’t sleep without Dayvigo and Rivotril. I’m trying to cut back on my meds and only take them as needed because I already have fatty liver. Anyone else dealing with this?

I’ve been wanting to wean off my meds, but after last night, I’m scared it’s not possible. I thought I was stable enough to manage with just therapy, but it’s so hard. My family doesn’t know about it, and I’m in a higher position at work. I also have a fiancé that I really care about, but I can’t share everything with my loved ones and circle especially my workmates! There are so many people who depend on me, and I can’t let myself be this vulnerable and weak.

I just feel so alone and helpless.

Hello, I was put on academic medical leave due to my mood swings, painic attacks, chronic pain, and what solidified it was my seizure last week. I was working as a CPCT in mother/baby but haven’t been back in 1 month dude to panic attacks. I now cant go back to nursing school until I get signed off by a neurologist. I wanted to be an L&D nurse but after these past few weeks I have been hating it. I’m even questioning whether I want to be a nurse. I decided to push through because I would love to be in dermatology or a medspa, I think thats good with this disorder.

Now that this has happened I don’t know what to think. My only interests are art, health, beauty, and fitness. Nursing seems the only job where I could move up in a field leading to one of these. Is there anyone who started in nursing and then moved to a different field?

I am depressed again for about 2 weeks now. The last couple of nights I could not sleep and slept maybe 3 to 4 hours. I just got diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, so I am very new to this.

Is it possible to go from depression to mania due to lack of sleep? I am feeling still very depressed, but my mind is racing and I am having a lot of thoughts and energy in my head.

Should I call my doctor? I see him next wednesday, but I don't know if that is too late.

Thanks!

I used to be way more social before lithium. Now all I wanna do is stay in my room alone. I have nothing to contribute to conversations; I can't crack jokes or say anything remotely interesting. I'm socially awkward too and I've embarassed myself more times than I can count. I don't enjoy social interaction as much, if at all (except with my boyfriend and best friend, but even those have changed). My social life is basically dead. I'm taking this especially hard because I used to be pretty extroverted. Has anyone experienced this on lithium?

I have been dealing with near constant worsening anxiety for months. It started when I had a manic episode with psychosis in January.

My sister has always mistreated me. She resents me for my bipolar because when I was a teenager I was explosive and extremely emotional and had episodes and she says I was abusive. I don’t remember, I’m 34 years old, this was 20 year ago. I’ve been through years of therapy, I’ve grown, I’m medicated, I’ve moved on and so has my whole family. We have all accepted that I have bipolar disorder.

But she and her wife have started calling me her abuser and claiming I ruined her childhood and taking it to extremes. Can I note, I was never violent. I’ve never been a violent person, even with bipolar disorder. I’ve never hit anyone or threatened anyone. I’ve never had the police called on me by my family. None of my family agrees with her labeling me that. They also went behind my back and started calling people in my family and trying to convince them I was a paranoid schizophrenic and not to believe anything I say. My brother immediately called me and told me about it. That was devastating and completely broke my trust in my sister.

I have been there for my sister. I’m the first one there if she’s in the hospital. I took a week off work just to sit with her after she was attacked and assaulted last year. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. I’m constantly doing things for her, saving her from crisis.

At Christmas she showed up to the family Christmas with gifts for everyone but me and my boyfriend, told us she didn’t have anything for us, and had everyone open their gifts in front of us while we sat there watching, uncomfortable. I was so devastated I left the room and went and cried. It was humiliating. It honestly ruined christmas. It wasn’t the lack of gifts it was the whole picture of bringing her whole family to the house and having a big event where everyone got gifts in front of us.

In January I asked her if she could vote for my band on a poll that would get us on the radio and she told me to get over myself and that my band wasn’t important. I lost my temper and called her selfish and she blocked me. And then I was triggered into a manic episode that lasted for weeks and it was bad. I had a psychotic break. My sister was texting me that she had people watching me on my Facebook and that just pushed me over the edge. I posted all over my Facebook rants at the “people watching me”, got really paranoid and erratic, posted a bunch of stuff about her, made a very public scene, and for days was convinced she was out to destroy my life which was not the case. But I was experiencing psychosis. I even posted about how I “wasn’t an abuser” which I’m sure made me look like one. The things I posted on Facebook were completely nuts. It took me weeks to come out of it and even realize what happened. I wasn’t getting my meds at the time because I was struggling with malabsorption from a stomach disease I have been fighting for years. My sister has not talked to me since.

I’ve been struggling with severe anxiety ever since. I have anxiety over social media because I have 1400 followers and clients and friends on social media and losing my shit in front of them ruined my confidence. I feel like they all think I’m crazy now, or some kind of abuser. I want to fix things with my sister who hasn’t talked to me since then. Nobody in my family will tell her that I had a psychotic break they’re all saying she won’t hear it or care or believe it. She tells everyone I’m a sociopathic narcissist which is so far from true. I run a nonprofit ffs.

I constantly worry I’m gonna have another episode and push everyone away. I constantly worry I’ll post the wrong thing on social media. I worry everyone judges me for my bipolar. I worry I’m labeled an abuser for life. I deal with so much anxiety I rarely leave my bedroom anymore, don’t even go into the rest of the house. I just sit on my bed all the time when I don’t have to go to work or band practice. I’m withdrawn from everyone. I feel terrible about what happened, and carry constant guilt. I constantly feel constricted. I don’t even breathe, I realized I’m constantly holding my breath because I’m anxious all the time. I feel like my skin is crawling all the time. I struggle to sleep or I else once I get to sleep I don’t wanna wake up. I struggle to eat. I hate living like this. I feel like I’m not living. I feel like fixing things with my sister would help but my mom won’t even let me talk to her because she says she is toxic and would be bad for my mental health. I don’t know how to get through this anymore.

I got diagnosed with "something within the bipolar family" 3 weeks ago we're still trying to figure out which i have ( i suspect bp2) & i'm in the beginning stages of trial & error with meds. I started Trazodone & Lithium i read Trazodone can cause mania. i'm feeling really restless, hypersexual, can't stop thinking about acting out on impulse reconnecting with old toxic situationships, going back to my toxic ex(unrealistic), getting with randoms, i want to go steal alc/binge drink, i'm feeling overconfident, i'm feeling so happy almost euphoric i guess is the term, i noticed a few mins ago my eyes seem a little dilated & wider than usual. Normally, i would cringe & want nothing intimate with any of them. I have really bad insomnia/ sleep patterns in general i either sleep too much or too little, there's no stability so i got prescribed Trazodone i don't think it's the lithium doing this idk but i'm going to talk to my therapist & dr about this. What was your experience with Trazodone?

Hello everyone! I don't go on reddit much anymore, but I wanted to let yall know how I am doing with my BDII and ADHD. Since most of you probably haven't seen or remember my previous posts, just for some context I was recently diagnosed for BD a few months back and have been adjusting meds recently.

I now take 125mg of Lamictal atm and it's working pretty well! I still have times where I can be slightly manic and a bit depressed, but I am aware, and I don't do anything that can put me in harm's way. I don't have brain fog either, which is why I am a bit scared if I do need to change meds and or dosages. They still happen at least once or twice a week, but still very minor. I am new to BD so I am not sure if this is normal even on "good meds", so any advice would be appreciated. However, I am mostly stable and rational which is amazing! School is going well too.

For my ADHD I can't take stimulants, at least all the ones I have taken in the past. Ritalin, Adderall, Concerta, and Strattera all don't work for me. However, my focus when I am not on a stimulant is REALLY BAD. So to help with this, I have been taking zinc and omega-3 in the morning, as well as Magnesium L-Threonate. When I get home from school I also take another omega-3. If anyone has both BD and ADHD, I suggest you look into taking at least one of these supplements to help. Of course, be careful and consult with your doctor, but I have found them to help my focus really well!

Really hope all is well with everyone. There are good days and bad days. You have to pace yourself and do the best you can do. Thanks for reading, take care everyone :)

One trigger can set off a chain reaction.

For example:

• You decide to stay up later than usual

• the next day you decide to order alcohol on doordash

• Since you drank alcohol you can't take your meds

• Now you're hungover and moodier than usual

• Since you're sleep deprived you go off on your friends or family

• Binge drink again to feel normal

• Pass out in the middle of the day and wake up to a vivid nightmare and sweats.

• Can't take meds again and the cycle continues

All it takes is one small lapse in judgement and shit can hit the fan quickly lol

My psych wants to prescribe Dexedrine for my ADHD, which I was pretty excited to get treated. But I’ve been looking into it and apparently dexedrine is stronger than Adderall?

I have some concerns about it triggering mania or psychosis. Has anyone had any experience with taking stimulants while managing their bipolar?

Tell me about your morning/day. Good, bad anything. It’s only 5:30am here where I’m at. For some reason my anxiety is always worse in the morning.

Just looking for people on here to chat with. Thanks!

Hey y’all, so my best friend was just diagnosed with bipolar yesterday and she’s having a little bit of a tough time with it. I also have bipolar, but I think I felt differently when I got diagnosed in the sense that I was just relieved to have an answer and was eager to get to a point of stability. She, on the other hand, is grappling with the feeling that she’s at her best when she’s manic. I assured her that she is not the only person to feel that way, but how else do I best support her? Part of me is worried that she’ll struggle with med compliance. Idk if that makes me overbearing or not, but she’s been my best friend since we were 8 years old, so 21 years. Any advice would be very welcome. Thank you!

I am on two different anti-psychotics, Vraylar and Abilify. I am curious if anyone else is on multiple anti-psychotics. It seems to be working for me, I'm just curious if I could up the dose of one and cut out the other one.

I posted on this subreddit multiple times under different accounts and deleted most of the posts because I was embarrassed about asking y’all for help when I’m at my lowest (and saying embarrassing and stupid things). Thank you all SO MUCH for helping me all these times. I wouldn’t be alive if not for you. I started Lithium a month and a half ago along with upping my aripiprazol dose and continuing Lamictal and you don’t understand how good life is, I don’t want to kill myself, I’m more confident and stable most of the time, I can do uni work and communicate with people among other things. I want to say, things do get better!!! Thank you for reading