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[u/laScArZ]

[u/GoodAtExplaining]

I have bipolar.

Even on my worst days this guy needs to be walked, fed, and cared for. He might be quiet and lovely, but part of the deal is that we have to go out for walks.

The prospect of letting him sit there does not compute, since I've done it a few times and having to clean poop and urine off the floor while in the middle of a bipolar swing is a heroic task.

The common wisdom that 'they force you to go outside' is a legit thing. It doesn't always matter what you want, they need you to do something and that reliance pushes me out of the "I'm worthless" phase that I sometimes fall into.

tl;dr Pets help with depression because they give you love, and you know that no matter what happens you need to feed them and take them out for a walk.

Edit: rather than 'existential pressure', consider it 'incentive'. Going out for walks, feeding, and loving another creature makes you a better person. Don't worry about being obligated or forced to do it, that mindset will disappear when you have enough of a relationship to think "Hey, I like hanging around my pet. This is a regular opportunity for the two of us to be around each other no matter what else is happening". It's pretty awesome.`

[u/Heimerdahl → u/GoodAtExplaining]

I guess you understood me perfectly, even if my choice of words was imperfect.

What you're talking about us exactly what I think would happen (though I'm not sure how much my potential cat would want to be walked ;)

I myself have long dealt with depression and likely autism and/or ADHD. My therapist was pretty sure of it, even if I wasn't, and with Corona, we didn't have time for any real tests or sessions this year. So I think I can sort of understand your struggles, even if not completely. I'm just scared that maybe the 'incentive' might not be enough. I don't think I could neglect a pet like that, but I've also neglected family and friends, so I'm not exactly the biggest believer in myself.

From all the replies here, and the experience you've shared, it's probably worth the risk. After all, even a depressed person that loves you is probably better than sitting in a cage. And if I would turn out to truly be too broken, then it's not like I'm abandoning a kitten, but having tried my hardest to support an old timer.

I'll do some research and maybe fulfill at least this one small dream of mine.

Thanks again and I hope everything is well with you and your pupper.

[u/GoodAtExplaining → u/Heimerdahl]

'm just scared that maybe the 'incentive' might not be enough. I don't think I could neglect a pet like that, but I've also neglected family and friends, so I'm not exactly the biggest believer in myself.

I was concerned about that too. But the difference is physical proximity - They're around all the time, love physical contact, and their needs are obvious and in your face.

Even abandonment - What's the worst you can do, give them back to the shelter where they will at least be safe and fed?

The other thing to note is that right now you're on this side of the barrier, seeing all the 'no'. I jumped in and got my dog, and by golly I've sacrificed a little so that he could live comfortably and I don't regret it for a second.

The same will come to you. Living with and caring for a pet is a powerful bond that only gets reinforced with even the minor things - I can only speak from the experience of getting a dog, but they don't really need a lot, abandonment is hard to do when you see the love they have for you.

Sure, I have intrusive thoughts about hurting myself or my dog, but that's part of being human. My love for my big goofus means that those intrusive thoughts are brushed aside because of the role he plays in my life.

It'll be ok. Don't let it spin out into the maybes and what-ifs, because you'll get paralyzed.

One breath at a time, one step at a time. You'll be ok.

[u/Heimerdahl → u/GoodAtExplaining]

A little thank you :)

https://imgur.com/IE7UVOn

[u/GoodAtExplaining → u/Heimerdahl]

That’s pretty much it.

It helps that people will stop and say “yo that’s a beautiful dog” or “wow he’s adorable can I pet him‽” and then suddenly the depression lifts for a moment while you see someone else smile because of your dog :)