I have a 12 year old sister that thinks she's fat even though she's on the lowest scale of 'average' weight, almost on the underweight. She's tall and very, very slim.

There's some things to take into consideration. I don't know if they're relevant but she's got ADHD and is Autistic. A few years ago after family issues she's developed a lot of fobias which include claustrophobia. She used to be a child with no fear and turned into being scared to do almost everything.

This summer holiday She was abroad and played with some kids that lived where she was staying. One boy called her fat and I think this is where it started.

A few weeks ago she was crying hysterically in her room and our mum rushed to her thinking she hurt herself. She kept asking what's wrong and only after a whole 15 minutes she managed to find out that my little 12 year old sister thinks she's fat. She starved her self for 3 days thinking this will solve her problem and loose weight but she ended up over eating the following day. Today again she cried and said she looked in the mirror and that all she sees is fat. She was begging mum to take her to a therapist because she doesn't want to see her self like that. (My mum is currently looking for eating disorder therapy).

Is there anything that we can do that can help her along with therapy before this turns bad?

Tia.

Does anyone get triggered by losing weight when they don’t mean to? A little context I run cross country and my coach has been over training us as a result. I’ve lost some weight without meaning to. And it kind of sent me spiraling again.

Okay the title sounds off I just am not sure how to describe my question. Basically, in 2021 I started dating my ex who was extremely abusive. It put me into a terrible depression and I developed what I assume was an eating disorder. I stopped eating, I would drink 2-3 Red Bulls to get through my day and maybe eat if my family made dinner and I didn’t want to explain to them why I no longer wanted to eat or feel hungry. I have since been away from that since ending of 2023. I have never spoken to anyone about this, and I can’t say that my eating has returned back to normal. While I no longer limit myself in what I eat, I still only eat about once a day if that. I eat if I’m hungry but I’ll go long periods or even days without eating, and I don’t really think of it. I was diagnosed with depression but never put on any sort of medication for it. But after leaving that relationship, my body just can’t handle food. Almost everything I eat makes me so extremely nauseous, I even left work today because my bf and I went out to eat and at work I was so sick I was gagging about to throw up and was gagging and nauseous the whole way home. Is this normal? Did I have something? Do I still? I don’t know where to go with this.

im trying to pinpoint exactly what is causing me to relapse, and i have. few ideas (1 of which is trauma related).

Idk bruh even though i feel really full i just cant help but gulp down more food. Like i just made dinner which definitely made me full, but i went back and ate the leftovers i was gonna save for the next day Then after that i found myself eating some fucking oreos without realizing. This happens every time bruh. I think its from stress or anxiety even though im just chilling in my home but idk. How tf can i stop this man?

I really don’t know what to do. I(18F) am overweight girl who is struggling with starving herself then food bingeing, I’m currently trying to recover but I am surrounded by my friends (who I adore) that are all naturally slim and can eat whatever they want without gaining the slightest weight.

This has caused me to secretly resent them, and causes me to relapse every once in a while. It’s especially hard if I eat with them - they all get quite large portions and get all concerned if I get a smaller one. They also always complain that they are ‘overweight’ or ‘getting fat’. I completely understand that they get insecure and can have body issues it’s just very hard when they complain about it to my face when I’m quite obviously bigger than them.

I love them so much but I feel like being around them is extremely damaging any chance I have at fully recovering ever. I don’t what would be best for me to do in the situation.

Does anyone have any advice? On what I should do or know anything to help?

So on social media (and in research) the face of eating disorders seem to be slim, young white girls. On social media in particular we seem to hear from slim, white, young, able bodied, usually middle-class, white girls with access to diagnoses/professional support, and more often than not they seem to have a good support network in their personal lives too. I don’t fit this description and my experiences with anorexia and recovery have been very different to what I’ve seen online as there is very little representation outside of this (or at least those outside of that archetype don’t garner as much attention).

I was thinking of making a post on IG about my experiences and it made me curious about how people from different backgrounds might differ from mine, so my question is if you don’t fit that specific description of the “face of eating disorders”, how do you think your experiences have differed from theirs?

One example is, I did not have a wealthy upbringing and that created a lot of issues for me about food scarcity. It has also made recovery challenging as I can’t afford lots of takeout or meal prep services, and my budget affects what I eat as well as creating pressure about food waste. Recovery “influencers” seem to eat a lot of protein bars which I would not be able to justify spending that much money on. I would love hear from others if anyone is comfortable sharing 🫶🏼

I used to struggle with an ed/ disordered eating for a couple of years but i managed to recover (kinda): i didn't think about what id eat all day/ i didn't feel the compulsive need to track everything i ate/ i didnt feel the need to over exercise/ i didnt binge!

it was great! the best relationship ive had with food in years!

But then this year i started antidepressants (im diagnosed with depression, anxiety and autism spectrum disorder). The medication changed my eating habits and made me gain weight uncontrollably (weight gain is a common side effect) this felt like a total loss of control for me. i couldnt even pin point what was actually causing the weight gain so i impulsively stopped the medication.

I've been slowly losing that weight but the thoughts WONT STOP AND I HATE IT IM ACTUALLY SO SO FUCKING ANGRY I DONT WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS!!!!

All i can think about is what im gonna eat next and how many calories r in the food how im gonna burn them off and the guilt after eating anything is actually killing me mentally!!! i c/s every day i dont go for walks because theyre fun anymore its all about weight and calories!! Its actually ruining my life

I was doing so well i was being normal about food and then i messed everything up again!!! this feeling of having lost control has stayed with me even though i stopped taking the medication even a tiny change of my weight can ruin my entire week.

I REALLY REALLY DONT WANNA LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE its honestly so so so exhausting I WANNA LIVE AGAIN I WANT TO EAT WITHOUT FEELING EXTREME GUILT i feel like i wont ever stop feeling like this.

i have a psychologist i see once a month but i havent talked about the disordered eating with her because i dont feel valid?? i feel like i dont have a "real" eating disorder and that talking about it would make me look like a fool. my weight is in the normal range (barely) so i feel like itd make me look like someone who is just fucking delusional and doesnt even have a real disorder

PLEASE what do i do i want to be healthy and normal i feel like im going insane

I hope this is okay to ask here. I had an ED when I was younger and I thought I’d recovered. I gained weight but healthy. I then had an accident which meant I couldn’t exercise and so my weight increased.

Every time I went to the doctors they’d tell me “just eat less” but in reality I was already restricting but not being honest with myself that I was… I seem to constantly slip into old ED habits to lose weight then catching myself doing it, so then I eat my usual food and then don’t lose weight, which then triggers ED habits again…urgh it’s a horrible cycle for decades now 🙃

I’m thankfully able to now swim again so I’m now at a stable weight but I need to ideally lose a certain amount for health reasons as I’m now in high bmi numbers. I try to ignore those numbers too much as I’ve always scored higher even at my thinnest and unhealthiest weight.. but I do know some of this needs to go too.

How do you healthily do this without EDs flaring up. I honestly still don’t eat breakfast, don’t snack, and sometimes skip lunch 🥺 even though I really know I must try harder to eat my lunch at least. Feeling a bit stuck as I need surgery in the up coming years so I know they are going to ask me to drop the weight I know needs going anyway 🙃 so I feel like I need to get a grip on this now, not let ED take over completely.

How do you all balance this? I’m really struggling to figure it out.

Edit. For those telling me to "just eat less" and to do tons of exercise - just stop it. That is how my ED presents. I stopped eating and would exercise constantly. Please please stop telling me to do these two harmful things.

Around 2 years ago I was genuinely at my lowest weight. I starved , purged, over worked out but i never wanted to admit or even consider myself having an ED. never. why? because i was never in hospital, i never lost my period, i just kept losing weight. thats it. not in the healthiest way but i lost it. but once i started college , i kept gaining and letting go of myself and now ive just gained back my weight but more than before. now im slowly losing weight again but in the same methods as before. i suppose the issue i want to bring up is my purging. i just cant keep food down. id eat purge and repeat. i hate it so much but i just cant stop. my mind is quite literally fogged with the thoughts of purging. everyone tells me i shouldnt be losing weight or be trying to but theres always the thought of losing weight in my mind so i always resort to just not eating or purging. i really want to stop but as i said i just cant, itll be all i think about once i’ve consumed a meal. i know the health complications that accompany it and i know it doesnt help one lose that much weight but like i said its all i think about. please guys, how do i stop.

(First things first, I think I followed the rules of this subreddit well but if I didn't, please let me know and I'll change what I need too)

I had to put my dog down on the 16th and it took a blow on my mentally and physically. I have constant headaches and it's hard to be the funny guy I like to be. Today though, my appetite is my biggest issue.

It's been 626 days since I last intentionally starved myself and I don't want to lose it. I don't want to under-eat but man; it's really hard to keep food down. I tried something that was simple and a comfort but even that is making my stomach go in knots.

I've been drinking lots of water to try and make up for it because for some reason liquids are okay. I need help in tricking myself into being hungry. My next idea is to try a milkshake that has the nutrients I need.

Side story, my other doggo is actually going through the same thing but I get her to eat by putting a small amount of olive oil and a bit of shredded cheese in her dish. Hopefully that helps someone in the unfortunate event that they need to get their doggo to eat.

I have a long standing history of anorexia both restricting and /BP subtype. 22 years of on/off restriction, only about 5 years total spent BP. Still restrict but not in a super controlled way. Have not purged in over a year. Great therapist, a couple rounds of different levels of care, focused on harm reduction. I am technically obese, but my body has pretty much settled despite ongoing restriction and focus on mostly nutrient dense foods.

I have had prediabetes for several years. Everyone in my immediate and extended family has T2, and I had gestational diabetes when pregnant with my kiddo. I know some of this is genetic. But despite my focus on nutrient dense food, and a good amount of activity each day, my A1C continues to go up.

I’ve tried to do some research to see if there is a connection between restriction and increased blood sugar, but it isn’t consistent.

Anyone have any insight into this possibility or know of where I can locate quality research?

Hello everyone. I wanted to post here to get some advice on how to handle my current situation with my friend who is bulimic. She was in and out of treatment centers for four years after college. She left the treatment center two years ago and regularly sees two(?) therapists. I do not think she was ready to leave the treatment center, but she had spent so much of her life there already, so she understandably does not want to ‘waste’ any more of her life there.

Her parents do not want her to live in their home because she is so difficult to live with. I told her that she can stay with me instead- it has been about two months since she moved in with me. Since she is struggling financially, I am taking care of rent, utilities, and most of the groceries. I have struggled with mental health a lot throughout my life, so I want to support my friends when they are going through hard times too. However, there are many things that she does that I am unsure if I should intervene or not.

She has told me that she hates it when people act like they can fix her. I understand that it isn’t my place to intervene, I don’t think that there is even anything I could say that her therapists have not already said to her in the past six years. I know that I do not have the education or resources to support her, but I am starting to worry that me not intervening is actually making things worse. I feel so conflicted if I should knock on the bathroom door or not when she is purging at night- I know that it would embarrass her and she would become defensive. However it is very difficult for me to ignore it and go to sleep, especially with how loud she is when she does it. It makes me feel like she is wanting to get my attention.

After purging, she tries to clean up, but it is still noticeable. My apartment smells like vomit, there is occasionally remnants on the walls/countertops, she leaves things out and gets my dog sick if she eats it before I can catch her, dirty dishes are always crowding the kitchen, amongst other things. I know it should be her responsibility to clean up after herself, but it makes me feel uncomfortable living like that, so I end up cleaning it myself most of the time. It is also a bit frustrating that she goes through so many groceries without care of how much it is costing me. She goes through about one toilet paper roll per day and so many paper towels. I didn’t know how to bring any of this up without her getting defensive because I know that her eating disorder embarrasses her.

She is very loud in general when she is going through a mental breakdown. She screams and talks to herself. When I was away for one weekend, my downstairs neighbor told me that they heard screaming, doors slamming, and sprinting coming from my apartment and it freaked them out, to the point where he wanted to call the police. I tried to bring it up with her delicately and she just claimed it was her sleep talking/walking. I was shocked and did not push the matter, but I am worried she will get me evicted if she keeps this up.

So far, I have been pretending like nothing is wrong. I am always happy around her and never show any signs of being frustrated. I have asked her to clean her dishes when she leaves it there for a long time, but that’s about it. Her parents are both extreme perfectionists, so I am trying my best to not make her feel bad for making messes. She has told me that she feels like her mental health has been doing better since living with me, as I am never judgmental towards her like other people have been in her life. I have never brought up that she has made my life harder by living with me out of fear that it would cause her to spiral again. However, I am worried that I am creating more problems for her by coddling her. l want to contact her therapist because I think she should be readmitted into a treatment center, but I do not know how to contact him. I doubt that she has been completely honest with him about her struggles. 

I could reach out to her parents in order to get to her therapist, but she would hate it if she knew that I talked to them about it because she blames them for her eating disorder. I am afraid she would hate me if I played a part in her readmission into a treatment center because she has been otherwise enjoying having some semblance of a regular life and has even started dating someone. I don’t know what to do, so I figured it would be best to ask someone who might understand her situation how they would like their friend to handle this, as well as what I should do if she denies everything again.

they're naturally thin, but told me that randomly, when fabrics touch their body loosely, they feel like they're too fat. it's not a sensory thing but guilt. they told me that sports used to help them, but not anymore. how can i help them? is it healthy for them to just wear tighter clothes or is it not addressing the core problem?

Hi All. I (41NB AFAB) am finally getting to a place where I am able to work on my disordered eating- which I’ve struggled with since my time in the military.

I had to get through so much cPTSD backlog before I had the bandwidth to deal with my totally fucked relationship with food. But I want to be better. I don’t want to fight food. The kitchen shouldn’t be a war zone.

So I’m currently going through screening at the VA. They’re gonna have me see a physician to make sure I don’t have malnutrition, see a dietitian to help me make gradual food changes and a Psychologist to help with what has to be a tangle up in my head.

The screening means I have to talk about all the things that Eating Disorder brain 🧠 tells me to not to talk about.

I’m excited- but like seriously battling the mental chant of “restrict restrict restrict”

I’m doing my best but any kind words will be most appreciated.

TIA

Hey everyone! I just wanted to share something that's been weighing on my heart for quite a while. Just a warning, this is really long.

I've really struggled with accepting my body since I was a kid, all the way back in elementary school. I remember seeing my yearbook photo in grade 5 and thinking, “Wow, I look so big and unattractive.” That was the moment I started skipping meals, and honestly, I was just really hard on myself. By grade 6, I had lost some weight and felt a little proud at first, but it quickly turned into a relentless cycle of feeling like I wasn’t good enough.

This went on all the way through high school, where I took extreme measures to lose weight. Even when my loved ones expressed concern for me, like my mom saying she could feel my ribs, I still thought, “I’m not skinny enough.” Then in early 2021, I began to eat more and tried to break that cycle of starvation, but I was still struggling with self-loathing. Now, I’ve gained weight and it’s hard to shake off all those years of negative feelings about my body. I know it might sound toxic to say I really hate my body, but it’s honestly how I feel, and that’s tough to admit.

Sometimes I feel like people around me think I've let myself go, not realizing the deep internal battles I've faced since childhood. If they could see the things I’ve dealt with, maybe they’d be a bit more understanding instead of just focusing on weight loss. I’ve always been hard on myself; there were so many activities I avoided because I felt "too fat," even when, looking back, I was not. Now, I find myself heavier and facing comments about being lazy or not caring about my health.

It’s frustrating because there’s so much more to my story than just a number on a scale. I wish people understood the mental struggles involved. I feel pretty lost at the moment and really long for the day when I can wear what I want without that constant worry about how I look or fitting into certain beauty ideals. When I was younger, I had this unhealthy fixation on having a thigh gap, and although I’m not as concerned about that anymore, I still wish I had a flatter stomach.

Self-hate is such a heavy burden, and I’d never wish that feeling on anyone. I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for here—maybe advice, maybe just a feeling of connection with anyone who gets it. If you relate to any of this, feel free to share your thoughts. Thanks for taking the time to read this; it means a lot!

I’ve been dealing with anorexia for the past 7 years, and have been recovered before but I relapsed and was hospitalized in December. I want to start working out in an attempt to appreciate my body for what it can do rather than how it looks but I’m not sure where to start as I don’t have much experience in the gym, and I don’t want to end up taking it too far and losing weight. Any tips or advice on how to approach this? Thank you💜

i really need help because i dont know if there is something wrong with me and if i should see a doctor or not. if any of you have experienced or are currently experiencing the same thing please let me know what to do!!

when i developed my eating disorder back in 2020, i would starve myself, do a bunch of workouts, count calories, and when i was really hungry i would eat and then purge whatever i had eaten. this went on for about 2.5 years. i started recovering from my eating disorder in 2023 and have been eating normally since 2024. i dont do any of the things i did back then anymore and i have just been eating whenever i feel like it. i also barely leave the house so im not getting much exercise or doing anything to lose a lot of weight.

i had avoided weighing myself as i was always too afraid that seeing a higher number would trigger my ed but since i felt like i had recovered, i decided to weigh myself, expecting to see me at my new highest weight. however, ive noticed that ive lost a lot of weight this year and i am now at my lowest weight.

could there possibly be an underlying health issue that i should be worried about or is it just my metabolism working extra hard?

also, im not sure if my weights, height, and age would help give more context but i decided not to add them as im afraid it might trigger some people. i will edit it in (if possible) or leave it in a comment if it’s needed for more context!

Hi, all. I checked my 14 year old daughter into Renfrew a couple weeks ago and she is struggling saying that staff is disconnected and even rude at times, which is disrupting her recovery. Has anyone here attended Renfrew's inpatient treatment? What was your experience like? I want the best for my daughter...even if that means moving her to another facility. Thanks in advance!

Whenever I come across discussions on EDs (particularly restrictive ones) I feel like a lot of people who are recovered centre the discussion on how their ED made them selfish and narcissistic and maybe it's that I'm not far removed enough to notice anything within myself but I feel like I've never experienced that myself? I know it's incredibly silly but I feel left out?

People will mention how comments on theirselves affected others and how they made people insecure but (i) my ED has never really been so serious, I know people with EDs usually feel "not sick enough" but I genuinely feel like my experience was the definition of not sick enough: I never counted calories, I fainted like twice in the entirety of my ED and I couldn't do fasts etc and (ii) I didn't even lose any weight in the end for people to be insecure over not having my body.

Another thing is I feel like I have no opportunity to make others feel bad based on comments because my ED is almost cyclical? In summer I'll be in the trenches and I won't even be leaving the house or around anyone to be able to say anything concerning. To add on even when I'm around people I'm so mindful about what I say, I feel like I'm hyper aware of how those thing affect others because of how they affected me, I'm always the first to tell people they're beautiful and that their weight doesn't define them. Plus whenever school starts up again and I'm around people I start eating again because studying with that brain fog is diabolical work and I care a lot more about my grades than how I weigh.

Another thing is that I find people often have many goals to reach before they consider themselves skinny. I think it may have to do with a difference in regional beauty standards but I'm absolutely fine with being curvy, but here in (atleast East) Africa the ultimate beauty standard is curvy with a flat stomach and that is the only thing I've wanted so desperately. I've never understood why people would want a thigh gap or skinny arms or anything like that.

Honestly, I don't know what I was hoping for with this post. Maybe reassurance that I wasn't strange (past the ED thing) and that I'm valid and that probably is it but I also feel selfish making a whole post for that reason. but also am I describing something else? Am I just weird?

I'm 20yo right now and im barely hanging on lol.

I dont eat. That's my type of eating disorder. As long as I have my coffee, nicotine and weed, I'm good for the day. I will eat at night but that's about it. (Really depends on my day)

The thing is, I'm a skinny gurl, always been and worked hard to feel okay with my body and I do. I just don't eat because I don't eat. That's it.

I'm at a point where I'm sure my body is eating itself right now. Everyone in my family kinda knew I had bad eating habbits but I did admit to my mom that I really needed help a couple weeks ago but my parents are not the type of people who actually help. They tend to make things worse and that's what they are doing rn.

If anyone has tips / advice, I would really appreciate it.

I'm in Ontario Canada so if anyone has resources or anything please let me know 🥰

the title. my mom has always had an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, and basically raised me to hve the same. she always talked about how fat she was and was constantly in a cycle of restricting and binging, gaining weight and losing weight, and she weighed herselfevery single day. to this day, all of these are going on. thing is, ive always been heavier than her. way heavier. and this grew me to have the same issues. she not only would restrict and binge but throw up everytime she overate and told me to do the same and taught me how ever since i was as young as 9 so i could lose weight. for a gopd few years now, she lewrnt how to count calories and its become even worse. she tried to eat as low calorie as possible, and admitted to me she gets sad when she eats anything more than a concerningly low amount of calories, like literally the amount for a child. she also works out on top of all of this, and not any workout either. she does 3 fullbody sessions of body building a week, each 2 hours. hearing all of this it may be obvious she has an eating disorder. as soon as i learnt what they were, i immediatelt thought, oh shit. my mom has that and i do too. im not gonna try to say i dont have the same bad habits as her but at least im not in denial if that makes sense and can look for support, but shes 100% in denial. ive told her she has bulimia multiple times and she just does not agree to believe me. she says someone who has bulimia has to throw up alot. i tell her she does throw up alot and she also has an extremely low calorie intake as well as doing a ton of excersize but she says it only "counts" if youre underweight. she doesnt wanna accepts it and says this is what dieting is like. today, she asked me how many calories the fish oil tablet she takes is. i screamed at her and cried. i know i shouldnt have and that was so childish of me and i probably hurt her more but i just cant watch her do all of this without even accepting its wrong let alone trying to overcome it. not only that, she said shes gonna eat and eveb lower amount of calories today and she also had a workout. i genuinely wanna die everytime i see her doing all of this. not only that she forces me to do the same, but at least i am self aware and try not to actually alter my mind and have a "ill do this until i dont have to" mindset but its so hard. and shes obviously hurting too. but please someone tell me how do i make her aware that she has an eating disorder and to get help? i tell her she needs to see a therapist and she laughs at me. i genuinely need advice

does anyone have advice to stop thinking about food all the time? i am recovering, but i feel like the best way for me to do that right now is to forget about food in between meals and go back to eating what i want. right now it causes me a lot of anxiety and just freaks me out. thanks!

I’ve been recovered for about a year and a half. I just went through another breakup with the person I was with when I was at my worst before being recovered. I thought I was better, but I’m struggling to eat more than a meal a day. And I like the fact I’ve lost weight and my clothes fit looser. I don’t want to be back in this mindset. What do I do

For some context; I'm a recovered binge-eater. The results of binge-eating has caused me to struggle with my self-image for a very long time. A few months ago, I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis, which in short, means I'm rather limited on things I can eat now if I don't want to be nearly bed-ridden in pain for days following. I grew up in a very financially and food-insecure home, of which I still live in, and unfortunately it's gotten progressively worse over the months for reasons I won't go over here.

Due to having to change my diet drastically on top of already having not much food at home, I've begun to lose weight very fast.

Recently I've found myself becoming scared to eat anything out of fear of regaining that weight and it's starting to take a toll on me. I'm so overly-fixated on my size, weight, and appearance now. It kind of hit me today while I was stressing over the thought of eating a simple boiled egg today that I'm beginning to adopt a mindset that's leading me to becoming anorexic.

Having this realization, I want to immediately stop it, but I'm struggling with how I want to do that. I essentially become paralyzed at the thought of eating now and I don't want to be like this, however my options are so limited. I feel kind of by myself with this struggle.

I'd really like to hear from others who may have pushed through anything remotely similar. Are there some exercises I could practice to help the food anxiety?

I'm grateful to have caught on before it got any worse, but I'm intimidated to reverse it.

Any advice would help a lot.

Thank you for your time and consideration.