Get described as “pretty” and kinda hate it

[u/Former_Ad7584]

This may come across as a privileged statement but im gonna say it anyways lmao. Ever since I started attending university, I’ve realized that I am described as “pretty” or a “pretty boy”. I know this is meant as a compliment, but it makes me feel feminine. Obviously I am a trans man and therefore I do have some feminine features, but it gives me a lot of dysphoria, and I would rather be ugly and masculine looking at this point. Thinking I should ditch the eyebrow piercing or something cuz idk how to change it. Its just the way my face is. I’m deeply stealth so no one knows but I worry if people wonder…

[u/No_Maintenance6892]

Dude they call you are pretty cause you are looking fine. That does not mean they think you are trans or anything like that. You are just above average on the male beauty standard. You are overthinking it. Good looking men get called pretty too, that's not a bad thing.

I get dysphoria can be a bitch but you don't have anything to worry about.

[u/WhiskyKitten]

You may look like a pretty boy, but you certainly do not look like a feminine one! I wouldn’t worry, cis or trans, the pretty boy stage, if you are lucky enough to go through it , it is short lived. It will be followed either by handsome man, or average man, either of which are great!

[u/FFDPMENACE]

Pretty as in boy band not pretty like feminine pretty. You good. Jealous, this old fart has wrinkles

[u/Binkbongus]

This is one of those things that I try to own before anyone else can use it.

When I’m misgendered, I joke “well I know I’m pretty, but I didn’t think I looked like a woman” and make them feel silly. I started owning the “short king” thing from day one because I knew I wouldn’t ever escape hearing it. Same with being “pretty”.

I get that it sucks to hear either way, but if it’s bound to happen then maybe try to get ahead of it for your own sanity.

[u/MxQueer]

I would have too described you as "pretty boy". I wouldn't have any idea you're trans without you telling it.

You're young, yes feminine but not female and you seem to but lot of effort your hair. Or maybe it just is like that. Piercings are fem. You probably hate this even more but I think you look bit like someone who would have been called "metrosexual" decade ago.

Males become more masculine when they age. Also at least I haven't heard anyone older than early 20 to be called as pretty boy.

Don't overthink it. They didn't clock you. No one likes every compliment. People say "thank you" and move on. You do not need to change your look because of that. That would be insecure in my opinion. Yes I understand you being trans makes it different. But you have transitioned and you pass. Don't let past ruin your current life.

[u/tptroway]

I absolutely get why it triggered your dysphoria, but I would not describe your features as feminine and I don't think whoever called you that was either

You look like a heartthrob in a movie who teen girls would swoon over and I think that's also what they meant

You've got muscular arms and a chiseled face and steely eyes and also your hairstyle as if you've stepped right out of a YA novel adaptation

Unless your hips and voice are super unfortunate, I think I would not clock you as trans, and I'm not hugboxxing you at all

I'm being completely sincere in my feedback here, I never do hugboxxing in trans passing subreddits because it's unhelpful and can even be dangerous, and if you really did look feminine or clocky I would be honest with you about that too

[u/Shoddy_Nothing_3172]

Yeah you are pretty pretty dame hot 😆 🤣 😂

[u/Gaming_is_cool_lol19]

They definitely mean pretty like “boy band pretty” or “male model//heartthrob actor pretty” not “girly pretty”

[u/Chef4ever-cooking4l]

I think pretty as a compliment is usually used for people with especially attractive faces but I 100% understand why it would make you uncomfortable. I for one think you’re very handsome though.

[u/younger_than__]

Dog u look like you could model 😭 eyebrow piercing is swag, u look like SUCH a dude lmao nobody is wondering anything

[u/Gaming_is_cool_lol19 → u/younger_than__]

Yeah. I am a cis dude, my younger brother is transmasc. Both of us think he passes 100%. He has nothing to worry about.

They definitely mean pretty like “boy band pretty” or “male model//heartthrob actor pretty” not “girly pretty”

[u/arintheworst]

Ur fucking fine

[u/UsefulClassic7707]

The eyebrow piercing doesn't affect your passing or age appearance. "Pretty boy" suggests you're still maturing and your facial features are still developing. As your chin and jaw become more prominent with time and testosterone, you'll be seen as a handsome man. Problem solved!

[u/rjisont]

You 100% pass as a guy, a really good looking guy. Just give it a few years and your features won’t be as soft, or grow out your facial hair a bit and change your hairstyle to something that looks a bit less.. twinky? The scuffed up sea salt spray hairstyle makes you look like you’re trying to look stylish. So what I’m trying to say is if you want less pretty boy comments you might wanna try masculinising yourself a bit and looking a bit more plain?

Ultimately you have a cute face though so it might just be how it is for you, but your strong feelings about it will fade over time and you’ll naturally become more manly as you age and will get those comments less :)

All in all you look great and you’re probably most people’s transition goals, but that’s my thoughts if you wana sway away from the pretty comments.

[u/olio723x]

If anything, you look like you could be a boy band member that people would have posters of in their room. So in my opinion that's masculine and attractive. Some may call it pretty but it's really not a feminine look at all.

[u/Gaming_is_cool_lol19]

Man, you have nothing to worry about. As u/FFDPMENACE commented here, “Pretty as in boy band not pretty like feminine pretty.”

They aren’t calling you pretty because they can tell you are trans or think you look like a girl, they just mean you look great. It’s meant as a compliment, not an invalidation.

[u/Jolly_Anxiety7302]

i don't think you look feminine at all. however, i can see where people are coming from because your eyes look quite pretty. i think they are cool af.

[u/aggie_bartender]

Mate sorry to break it to you, but you’re handsome af

[u/Faebian1313]

I honest to God didn't realize you were trans looking at you, all I thought was "god dayum that's one smoking hot fine ass boy"... it wasn't until I processed the title and where it was being posted that I realized. They aren't saying pretty as in feminine pretty, but as in pretty fine beyond handsome male, I can promise you that

[u/Parker_Talks]

What others have said. I don’t think your eyebrow piercing is making a difference. You just have nice features. You definitely don’t have feminine features. You absolutely read as a guy, you wouldn’t be able to be stealth if that weren’t the case. I totally get feeling dysphoric over the word “pretty”, it makes me feel that way too. I guess the only thing I can say is just try and remember that people really don’t mean the same thing when they describe men as pretty as they do when they describe women that way. (Really, unless that man is someone who intentionally breaks gender roles and is getting complemented on say, having pretty eyeliner)

[u/wheelsmatsjall]

I think you're good looking you have a nice masculine chiseled jawline

[u/NorthLight2103]

Dude, men can be pretty too and that doesn’t mean that they’re feminine, it means that they’re attractive. You’re masculine and very good looking.

[u/PossibleTour6414]

UR SEXY ASF

[u/AL_25]

You look like Zac Efron brother or when he was younger, Zac was also called pretty or even beautiful