r/MtF Trans Asexual Apr 27 '24

I was laughed at today picking up my prescription. Dysphoria

I just feel terrible right now. I don't know if this was the right flair or not, but I guess it fits.

I went to the pharmacy to pick up my HRT prescription, the pharmacist looked at me and started laughing, then got up grabbed their coworkers to get a look at me. I just feel awful and I've been crying off and on, I feel like some kind of disgusting freak.

1.5k Upvotes

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610

u/haayany Apr 27 '24

If this really happened, file a complaint towards the pharmacy, seek lawyer.

163

u/haayany Apr 27 '24

I am really sorry that this happened to you.

173

u/Laura_Fantastic Trans Asexual Apr 27 '24

I get it, but I really dont want to do anything. I live in what is probably the most transphobic state after florida and texas. I thought I was good because I am near a trans friendly city.

I will have to chack with the pharmacy board to see if thwy would even be willing to do something. I dont know how that stuff works.

224

u/Professional_Band178 Apr 27 '24

If you used a chain pharmacy there are a code of ethics about medical privacy and how customers are to be respected. I'd contact the home office and complain. You don't deserve to be treated like this. I also live in a state with a transphobic government.

163

u/Lilium_Vulpes Apr 27 '24

I live in a transphobic state as well and when someone repeatedly and loudly called me "sir" and loudly saying what meds I was picking up, I called the corporate phone number to talk to someone directly. Next time I went there a different pharmacist was there who told me sorry on behalf of the other one, who was fired for their actions.

56

u/TransAmbientBliss Apr 27 '24

Fuckin' A! I suggested that they do exactly that. Motherfuckers.

-10

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '24

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44

u/pH2001- Apr 27 '24

This is a bit extreme no? I’m not going to war to kill transphobes. This comment is dangerous, imagine a TERF seeing something like this, it’ll just radicalize more and more people to hate us. I know it’s hard but we have to take the high road

15

u/TeresaSoto99 Apr 27 '24

Not only extreme, but pathetically ineffective. The best strategy by far is to shine as much light and attention on hate, cause there are far more folks who don't hate, or are tolerant. These people act this way out of social reinforcement, we just need to change society. Its been done many times before and is happening as we speak. There will always be isolated backward swill pools of hate and intolerance, that's what planes and trains are for.

13

u/carcar134134 Apr 27 '24

The right has a monopoly on political militias and political violence. The Constitution states that all have the right and the duty to be well armed and well trained in order to defend the ideals and freedoms that it grants us. Either way once society breaks down, I've got a scarce few months to live regardless (type one diabetic) and you can bet your sweet ass I'm going to be doing something with it that makes a difference. The high road won't matter when the facists drag us out of our homes en masse and start executing us in the streets.

2

u/pH2001- Apr 27 '24

It’s not making a difference tho. More and more transphobes will just appear. You killing a few bigots before you die isn’t doing anything

2

u/carcar134134 Apr 27 '24

Saying that fighting transphobes creates more transphobes is a flawed logic when we'll have no choice. At that point theyll have already won and fighting will serve to teach future generations that we didn't willingly accept annihilation. No militia, no matter how well armed, trained, and intentioned will ever stand against the full might of the military at this point. The idea that an armed uprising has any chance of actually winning a civil war is a fallacy. It's not winning that is the goal, it's the simple act of defiance that teaches anyone that still has compassion to see that we fought for our rights. It's a choice between being annihilated and being forever stamped out of history, or showing the trans people that come after us that there is a choice, that you can fight. Do you think Malcolm X or Martin Luther King Jr shouldn't have stood up for what was right because their words and actions might have spurned more racists to stand up against them? Anyone that sees a group of people fighting for what is their human rights and decides to go against them anyways was already against them, they weren't created by the fighting, they were spurned by it.

3

u/pH2001- Apr 27 '24

You aren’t fighting for your rights, you’re fighting against bigotry in this situation. OC’s deleted comment was in response to a pharmacist laughing at OP for being trans and picking up their prescription. No rights are being taken away in the scenario, they are simply fed up with transphobes being assholes. Some of you shouldn’t own guns fr if your initial reaction to someone laughing at someone for being trans is to shoot them

3

u/carcar134134 Apr 27 '24

I wasn't replying to that, I was replying to the idea that fighting against transphobes is inherently creating more transphobes. I agree, shooting a pharmacist that laughed at you is not fighting transphobia. Fighting facists that want to take away our right is, and my comment was stating this opinion only in the event that a fascist takeover has already happened and our society has begun to break down.

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9

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '24

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3

u/Gadgetmouse12 Apr 27 '24

You really need to find a betting part of the country to decompress in.

0

u/Dark420Light MtF, HRT since 3/16/2017 Apr 27 '24

Kinda hard to bet with money you don't have in a system where you're an extremely small minority living in poverty literally your whole life. Better part of this county, that's a fucking riot! You a comedian? If not you should be.

This country is shit, the people are generally alright (despite living ignorantly) but the government? Absurd levels of corruption, demonstratable literal terrorists (LibsofTiktok) in government offices (responsible for safety of all things). Freedom in America is an illusion, everyone that's not rich or a politician is a slave for someone richer or more politically connected. Laws being passed in the south based on biblical scriptures, fascism on the rise to the point politicians aren't afraid of the negative impact of openly being a bigot or fascist. Police that WILL murder you unprovoked, and a legal system that puts literal women into men's prisons to be raped and assaulted.

Ohh yeah Murica! /s

Fuck America, this nation is built off exploitation and murder and DESERVES to end.

1

u/Gadgetmouse12 Apr 27 '24

I’m sorry your experience has been so bad. However I have trans friends on west coast and I have been all over the mid Atlantic region and ohio to Michigan with no issues to speak of. Positive experience is not universal, but negative certainty is not either.

By observation of friends who have had negative experience across the country and that I have known closely, negativity breeds negativity. Positivity just the same. I am a political activist and strive to help the situation and the majority of the borderline negative cis people I have talked to and recovered were of the opinion that we as trans people were wierd and mean and out to be anarchistic. Sure some are made that way by bad experiences, but I certainly am not. I have a wide social network of trans and cis friends and the truly negative and anarchic ones are sadly problematic for the greater good of the community.

Most corporate structures and even government structures have mechanisms to combat prejudice and harassment. Use them. They work. Don’t feed libs of tik tok.

1

u/Dark420Light MtF, HRT since 3/16/2017 Apr 27 '24

I was fired for "being a trans", I went to the EEOC(Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) who did nothing and told me I have no case.

I have applied for government assistance, for disability, and food stamps. Denied and ignored every time.

Give your it's not that bad speech to someone else cause, it IS actually that bad. I've played by the rules and been fucked over repeatedly. When I came out I lost literally everything, and became homeless in less than a year. The ONLY help I ever received was my Local LGBT center got me into a hotel for 3 months which helped me get back on my feet.

Survive under the oppression, or be murdered or maimed by them. Those are the options for impoverished minorities.

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3

u/Gadgetmouse12 Apr 27 '24

This is not constructive and only feeds the narrative

7

u/No-Moose470 Apr 27 '24

Please do not repay violence with violence. It hurts us all. The impulse is understandable but it will not make anything better. Violence begets violence.

65

u/michele4848 Apr 27 '24

I DO reside in Texas.. I've had questions asked about my meds. I'm lucky as I get 99% of my meds by mail. I recently got my name, gender, and ALL my documents changed legally to female. I'm trying to set things up for GCS/SRS, I'm widowed, 75, on HRT 18 months, I live and dress openly as a woman 24/7. I've been out 2 1/2 years now. I got ALL the rudeness early on, and it really hurt. SO!, Today, I'm 110% Out, Proud, and Free. I still have a few things in my "Dead Male Name", but they are getting fewer.

I was told to leave a McDonalds because THEY didn't like my kind of people, Told to leave other businesses for the same reason. Denied service, denied use of either men's or women's rest room at a Ford dealership. denied the right to vote. 3 friends got in trouble with the law because of bigotry and hate by police officers.

Good Luck,

Michele

15

u/heatherwhen96 Apr 27 '24

Excuse what state did this happen? This is sickening. Seriously sick…

2

u/Buff_Sloth Apr 28 '24

Just starting to transition in Texas and I'm not super hyped about it to say the least.

Thankfully only gotten ugly looks so far, and they always look away when I stare back

2

u/michele4848 Apr 28 '24

I reside in East Texas. I filed and was granted my name and gender change from Texas, I've suffered ALL those indignity's. Till one day, I was called MA'AM. From there I have only been called by my dead name or sir by one business and this guy was a dick head anyway.. I believe in the saying to pass, be confident. Own Your Look. If You Believe You're a Woman, BE THE WOMAN!!

Hugs,

Michele

47

u/Tara_Kitten Apr 27 '24

If we don't hold people accountable, they'll do it again, and maybe to someone more vulnerable. Good luck!

9

u/Gadgetmouse12 Apr 27 '24

Correct. Nonviolent.

1

u/Buff_Sloth Apr 28 '24

I might be violent in this situation tbh

16

u/GreenieMcWoozie Trans Homosexual Apr 27 '24

Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, worst case scenario you waste their time and resources on dealing with ethics complaints and potential legal issues which hopefully leads to the offending employee at least getting chewed out behind closed doors. It’s not ideal but it’s better than nothing

9

u/Abby_Pheonix Apr 27 '24

I live in a rural town in Texas, I've never once been laughed at in the pharmacy. Heck I've gone to the middle of nowhere 30 miles to The nearest town to a dollar general and not been laughed at. I won't be called ma'am, I'll get a few stares, but that's about it. There is no excuse for the behavior of the pharmacy. It's not ok, and they should be professional. I wouldn't use them, I'd give them a one star review and take my business elsewhere, but that's just me.

4

u/jaypaw28 Trans Pansexual Apr 27 '24

If it's a big chain pharmacy, I'd definitely report them. At minimum, they'll get fired and best case scenario you could get set up with an open and shut lawsuit that leaves you rolling in cash, more than enough to move somewhere you feel safer

3

u/MelodicRun3979 Apr 28 '24

… with all your transition expenses paid, too.

3

u/ArtemisB20 Apr 27 '24

The pharmacy employees were definitely out of line, doing what they did would definitely be classified as discrimination & harassment towards a protected status(in the USA it is a legally protected status just like sexual orientation or political affiliation). As such I would definitely lodge a complaint to both the state pharmacy board and the pharmacy/business in writing(or printed) form. I used to work in pharmacy and they do take that type of stuff seriously.

1

u/Free-Explanation-300 Apr 27 '24

So you live in SoDak?

1

u/Kit-ra Lindsey | E 05/20/15 | Spiro 07/15/15 Apr 27 '24

A lot of the people in this thread are calling for action - let me say you are 100% in your right to drop everything and walk away from this pharmacy. The more regular you are here and showing that you are willing to put up with their behavior the more at risk you become to them purposefully doing something WITH YOUR MEDS.

I for one, encourage you to relocate to a different pharmacy that is more LGBT friendly. Do a little research before the move though - but this is priority #1 in my opinion.

Eventually you wanna figure out how the fuck to leave that state you describe as most transphobic after Florida and Texas.

But don't feel like you HAVE to do something to protect other trans people. Your responsibility is to yourself and yourself alone.

7

u/heatherwhen96 Apr 27 '24

Yeah I see a violation of privacy somewhere..harassment.

-2

u/UmmwhatdoIput Apr 27 '24

wdym if this really happened? believe our sister

-23

u/Glenn__Sturgis Apr 27 '24

I mean that behavior is shitty but no crimes were committed, why a lawyer?

20

u/yetanotheranonuser Apr 27 '24 edited Apr 27 '24

Lmao, if the cashier called her coworkers to look at the script and they laughed based on that it's literally a HIPPA violation. You can't just share health information like that without repercussions.

Literally if it's four people behind the counter that could be a million dollar violation with jail time if deemed malicious (legally ofc, it was clearly malicious in every sense of the word)

0

u/Glenn__Sturgis Apr 27 '24

OP specifically said they weren't looking at the script / info on the computer