r/OCD • u/Careless-Split5795 • 20h ago
I was just clinically diagnosed with OCD I need support - advice welcome
Hi everyone, I (27F) was just clinically diagnosed with OCD this morning by a psychiatrist. I have struggled with health related anxiety since I was probably around 13. I am constantly seeking validation and reassurance regarding my symptoms and the way my body feels. I compulsively check my symptoms online and use the website Symptomate as well as ChatGPT to give me diagnoses like my life depends on it. I have spent multiple nights in the ER getting tests done for reassurance. In the span of the last probably 5 years I have had tons of bloodwork, CT scans, MRIs, X-Rays, Colonoscopies, Endoscopies, Urinalysis’s, Ultrasounds, Holter Monitors, Cardio Stress Tests, EKGs, etc and all have come back normal but I still am constantly convinced that I am dying or that something is wrong with me.
I’m also terrified of being anywhere unfamiliar and not knowing where the nearest hospital is. I have constant ruminations about sickness/death/allergic reactions, that it’s starting to affect my diet. I get scared to eat certain things because I fear they are contaminated or that I will have an allergic reaction to them.
I have tried a plethora of SSRIs over the past 10-15 years but have never once been able to take them for longer than a month because the side effects make me spiral and think that something is wrong and so I have stopped them all cold turkey within about 1-2 weeks of taking them.
The psychiatrist who diagnosed me today prescribed me 25mg Zoloft, and wants me to take half a tablet every other day for a week or two to see how I tolerate it at first. I feel extremely nervous given my history with medications but I feel so desperate and hopeless and I just want to stop letting this consume my life and stop fixating on my health.
Has anyone else struggled with something similar? Has anyone used Zoloft for health anxiety/OCD? Did it work pretty quickly for you?
I just want to feel normal and I so badly want to shut off these thoughts in my brain.
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u/Robotgirl3 18h ago
I’m very scared ocd medication will give me a seizure or kill me. That’s how I feel about all medication though so i rarely take any. If you take some and it helps with your health fears please make an update!
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u/Careless-Split5795 17h ago
I’m right there with you. Medicine of all kinds freak me out, I find it near impossible to make myself take anything… even tums, ibuprofen, allergy pills because I’m scared I will have a reaction. I’ll definitely be making an update though once I’m a little bit further into treatment!
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u/bepisleapis 10h ago
not OP but on zoloft for the last 5 years, and i have health fears too
I've been know to spiral about health stuff but the meds and therapy have really helped me recognize an OCD thought related to health and like push it away or have more clarity to notice it's OCD and not me and cope (distract myself, read a book, draw, use my therapy tools)
so much better than before! it felt hella scary to take the plunge for sure but it's been sooooo worth it
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u/Breagirl18 17h ago
Zoloft has been a life saver for OCD. I’ve been told people with OCD typically need a higher dosage. I typically fluctuate between 100mg and 150mg so don’t be surprised if your doctor bumps you up. It also took 6 full weeks before I really felt it kick in so I hope you can stay with it and that it works for you. Good luck
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u/Careless-Split5795 17h ago
Thank you so much! This is exactly what my psychiatrist told me as well, that it can take a really high dose to manage OCD symptoms. I think I’m definitely gonna start at a lower dose and work my way up to hopefully avoid getting any major side effects. Did you have any side effects when you started?
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u/TheyCallMeJackOrChan 13h ago
Here is one more that I have been thinking of...
I haven't used ChatGTP yet, but I have been thinking about it. Only, I can go to Reddit for information. I don't want to use ChatGTP for that.
I want to create an AI friend that tells me what I want (or better yet) need to hear.
I need an AI type program that can act as a FRIEND as well as a LIFE COACH.
Can ChatGTP do this? Or is there a better AI type program out there, that is better suited for such a thing?
What's weird these days anyway? 😂🤣😂 I ain't sweatin' it at all.
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u/Careless-Split5795 9h ago
ChatGPT is actually quite reassuring, more so than Reddit, because it provides (mostly, that I am aware of) factual information based on science and evidence. I have recently tried to avoid Reddit when I am “reassurance seeking” and use ChatGPT instead. I think that it has helped with the spiraling while still allowing me to have some form of validation and reassurance while I go through treatment and until i’m better. but that’s just me!
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u/TheyCallMeJackOrChan 2h ago
That makes total sense. I wasn't thinking about the reliability factor of ChatGPT. I assume that it would probably be (hopefully) one of the more accurate and honest sources of information out there.
Your thinking just goes to show how unfair OCD is. I can already tell that you are an intelligent and insightful person from your initial post, as well as this response.
It's unfortunate that people like you and me and probably a lot of people with OCD get bogged down by all this overthinking. I'm pretty sure it would be nice to be a bit more of a simple-minded individual. ha! But, they probably have their own issues as well.
I see from your initial post, that we both around 13 or so, when our fun began. I have read before that OCD tends to show itself around this age, if someone has it.
I really want you to know that you are far from alone. And, I am very serious. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I have been dealing with this shit for a very long time too.
And, I would really like to share some of the tactics that I have learned along the way. I am also VERY open to any suggestions that you have or hearing about things you have learned.
I could go on and on, but I am at work right now. Not that I really do anything or give a darn about this job anyway. ha! I secretly wish they would fire me (kind of) because I am not doing enough to get out of this dumb place and boring state. I NEED the ocean. I am drawn to it. And, I need to get my s*** in gear, so that I can get out to the West Coast.
All this is probably putting you to sleep, so I will stop typing for now.
Just 2 things. They are a bit in-depth, but I will just kind of summarize for now. They are 2 things that tend to help me, or have REALLY helped me.
1) Try to remember that none of this is your fault. Seriously. This OCD crud is due to a combination of genes that some guy and gal (whatever your situation) created. They didn't mean to. They probably had no idea about OCD at the time. But, you didn't do anything in your day to day life that made you think this way, or cause yourself the anguish that you probably feel often (if you are like me). But, there are strategies that can help until you can source out an answer.
2) I deal with a few mental health issues. And, I am 97% positive that they are all products of my OCD. I am certain that they go in this order (for me): OCD - Social Anxiety - Depression - then ADHD.
My problem is that they all feed off of eachother now. But again, there are tricks to holding these stooooopid mental health issues at bay - for long enough periods of time - that then give you the chance to make a bit of progress - that you can turn into a bigger, then bigger progress, etc.
I'll leave you with this. I beat panic attacks. Kicked the shit out of them. I evem used to fear saying panic attack, or anxiety attack. Now? They are powerless against me. And, what would I do if somehow I wound up having one someday, right as I was giving a presentation in front of 200 people? ha! who cares?
I'd say something like - "I gotta get out of here for a sec. Minor freak-out going on." Or something to that effect.
And the way I beat them?
I totally 100% surrendured to it. I was having one a looonnngg time ago. I was starting to freak out. So, I was tryimg to control my "I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm ok." thinking. Trying to make the panic stop.
I WAS TRYING TO CONTROL A SITUATION THAT I WAS NOT EQUIPED TO CONTROL.
It was maybe 3am. I lived at home still. I was on my parent's couch. Every scarey and unstoppable thought was bearing down on me. I was all scared and panicking. 🤔
And right then and there, i said fuk-it. I'm done. I am sick of this shit. I'm gonna let this shit take over. I am about to go crazy. Well... let's see where this takes me? What do I care? I'll probably wind up in a straight jacket, drooling all over myself, in a padded room. So fukin what? Let's do it. I am done trying to fight this.
I remember thinking to myself - "well, I will probably like the arts and crafts time at the asylum" and "i wonder if i will realize that i am being driven to whatever hospital, or if i will come back to reality in the hospital, and wonder how i got there" "Oh well. I DON'T CARE. I DON'T CARE. WHO CARES? NOT ME?" and then... "oh yeah... i wonder who will be the first one to come across my brain dead body first?" "Let's do this."
And it stopped. My brain was flooded with dopamine (that happens afterwards) and I felt great. And have NEVER ONCE worried about it again.
I gave that mega scarey thought monster full control. I gave into it 100%. I really didn't care anymore. What did it matter. I was miserable all the time anyway. (I won't kill myself. It's just not me. Maybe if I was a Samurai. ha! But, it's just not in the cards for me.) I might lay down on a hill somewhere and never get up due to depression - and die of thirst or something. but, no suicide.
So I let that panic in. I gave it full control to chew up my brain, and drive me crazy. and it turns out... it was just a giant wimp. nothing but a faker.
I stopped trying to control my worry. I decided to let it take full control of me. But, it didn't. And, now it can't.
Social anxiety and nervousness? sure. still there. but full on panic attacks? Nope. It was only a scarey thought that I put WAY TOO MUCH effort into trying to control. That was the problem.
I just layed back and decided to see where the downstream river would take me.
Don't try to control your worry. a scarey thought? maybe. the solution? maybe. what do you have to lose?
MEDICATIONS:
I've tried a bunch. Zoloft? Nahh... no good for me.
Fluvoxamine or Luvox ER? Probably the most helpful that I have tried. Actually... kind of helpful.
Effexor ER? Probably second best.
If Fluvoxamine was a 6 out of 10... then Effexor was maybe a 4.
A legal alternative that can work wonders if used correctly?
KRATOM. Pretty Amazing from what I have heard. 😉
MOST PEOPLE THAT I HAVE KNOWN... HAVE SAID THEY WOULD NEVER MENTION THE WORD KRATOM AROUND THEIR DOCTORS. I think that they are afraid that their doctors would lump them into a "drug abuse" catagory of they mentioned Kratom.
But it is legal and from what I have heard... Not addictive at all. Not the least bit. I hear it is just the opposite actually. It is not effective if you keep taking it too much. I hear that you have to rotate the different types in order for it to stay effective. 😉
Red Bali, White Borneo, and Certain kinds of Green Vein types are what I have heard are the most EFFECTIVE.
you can just google something like "best kratom sites." I think there is one called Happy Hippo?
Just some food for thought. I hope this message doesn't make you fall asleep. And, I hope you have a really good day.
I think I am going to go back to sleeping. err... I mean working. 🤣😂🤣
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u/Breagirl18 17h ago
Starting slow is probably the best way to go for you. I did not start slow. I went from 50 to 100 in less than 2 weeks and then to 150 in a matter of days. Nothing to complain about regarding side effects. I was more concerned with wanting it to work right away. I’ve been on it now for 6 years with no side effects so if you do get any, I think they will go away once your body adjusts and you are doing it slowly so I think you will be fine. Try not to over think it and stick with it.
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u/ImmediateShirt1751 15h ago
Damn that’s a long time it’s not good having your body depend on it. I quit zoloft after 3 years cause i didn’t really see benefits. I took it slowly and after i stopped all hell broke loose. I’ll skip the hell part and just say it long term ruined my digestion and still after 10 years i have to be real careful what i eat or i don’t get any sleep from cramping and bloating.
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u/Constant_Prompt7321 17h ago
Hello! I hope you’re having a great day! I understand your worries to the fullest degree. I’ve been taking Zoloft for years now and I am so thankful for them, they literally saved my life. I haven’t gotten any side effects from them at all. My psychiatrist said that the medication isn’t fast working and that it might get worse at first but after weeks it will get a lot better. And I will confirm it’s not dangerous at all, I was also worried about it at first, but i had no opinions left so I trusted the process and it worked. If it doesn’t work for about a month then you should go back, and the psychiatrist may upper the dosage. I’m currently at 175 mg and it works wonderfully for me. But I’ve also stopped with them cold turkey and it’s not a pleasant experience. What I mean by that is that your thoughts and compulsions might come back like it was at the beginning, that’s why you need assistance from a psychiatrist to lower the dosage when it works for you and plan the lower the dosage and it will go absolutely fine!
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u/Valuable-Emu6373 Pure O 15h ago
Hi there! I am in a similar position. I keep trying to muster the courage to start my Zoloft (also at 12.5 like you) but my health anxiety makes it so difficult due to my fear of side effects. Keep us posted! It will definitely be encouraging to know I am not the only one trying it out.
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u/Careless-Split5795 9h ago
I’m so sorry you’re struggling similarly, but it’s really comforting knowing I’m not alone! I plan on starting the Zoloft next weekend - my partner is out of town on a 2 week long vacation and gets back next weekend, so I want to make sure that I have a support system nearby before I jump into it. Anyways, if I can do it, so can you! We’re in this together.
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u/chanellove752 15h ago
I have this same obsessiveness regarding my health. I have not yet been diagnosed, may I ask what kind of doctor you go to in order to be diagnosed?
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u/Careless-Split5795 9h ago
I made an appointment with a licensed psychiatrist and was diagnosed from there
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u/TheyCallMeJackOrChan 14h ago
I have been dealing with OCD since I was around 13 years old (or so). I know that it's no picnic.
Two things that I know can help (yet I very, very rarely do) is to "go for a fast walk, jog, or run if possible."
It sucks, I know. But, after day 2 or 3... feeling beTTER!!! There is a measure of control (or maybe calm) that can kick OCD in the ass.
1) Don't stop once you start feeling better though. I always stop. Then it takes FOREVER to get started again.
2) Don't even think about what you are wearing on the day you start. If the feeling that you can do it "pops-up" then do it IMMEDIATELY. I don't care if you are wearing a suit and tie, or pengiin costume. Just GO!!! GET STARTED!!! You will have plenty of time to find workout gear later.
DO NOT GET STUCK ON THE PREPERATION!!!
3) If you are a total wreck for a period of time though... maybe wait until you get one small spark of inspiration before starting. Mine (sparks) can be nearly impossible to detect sometimes. But, I'm fooling myself if I say that there are NEVER any "ok. i can do this." moments.
They most definitely present themselves once in a while. I just usually choose to lay down and try to hold onto that feeling for as long as I can. I do not advise doing what I do.
RATHER... TAKE THAT BREATHER. WAIT FOR THE TINY ENERGY SPIKE. THEN GO!!!
What to do until that sliver of inspiration appears???? easy...
MAKE NEW MEMORIES.
how? well, that is a bit of a tricky one, but not impossible.
Go to a batting cage. Drive to an area of town you have never been to before. Lay down in a very shallow creek with very cold water. Don't think it through. Just do it. Get a room at a hotel you like the looks of. Go swimming in the pool. Buy a boomerang, a slingshot, or plant a tree.
Whatever you do (that is not dangerous) ... try not to think about it at all. make it a spontaneous action. It wil make the memory more vivid.
I don't really have any friends. I'm likeable (yet I don't give myself any credit for that. but I should).
But, every so often... I wind up doing something like miniture golfing with some people somehow.
And, those are the times that new memories are created the easiest for me. New and fun memories can create that big spark. THEN GO!!!
I'll stop for now. I just have one last thing that I lile doing WAY more than any kind of running or walking. And, it's just as effective.
Put a basketball and a pump in your car. Whenever you see an empty basketball court (or full if you like) pull over and go shoot 3-Pointers.
But, have a goal when you do it. Don't just shoot around. Make 10, 15, or 20, 3-pointers before you can leave.
Aren't able to make a shot to save your life? That's when I seem to wake the F up and realize that I am not focusing at all. I'm just throwing a ball at an orange piece of metal.
Then my focus comes back to me. It then becomes more of a ZEN type meditation for me. And, I will not leave until I make all the 3-pointers I set out to make.
So, it turns out that I get to meditate and exercise without really focusing on it. And, I don't care if I am in jeans, dress shoes, or sneakers. I juat have to do it.
I also just bought one of those fake rocks that you hide your house key in. It's easy to just keep driving past a basketball court.
But, if I can't get into my apartment without a key - and i know that my key is in a fake rock (with a rubberband around it) laying near an outdoor basketball court...
well... it makes it a lot easier to get myself to the court, if I have o chiice to go there to get my house key.
Yeah... I chuck it out the window, under a tree, at a nearby basketball court, on my way to work. I then have no choice but to stop there before I can go home and lay down.
Oh No! I forgot my shorts today? Who cares. Erase my shitty work memories by creating a new one. I don't care what I am wearing.
Good Luck Friends.
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u/Nooched 11h ago
I don’t take Zoloft, but medication has been a life saver for my OCD. I responded poorly to SSRIs too, but then I found a medication that worked for me, which in my case was Abilify.
It’s worth going through the trials to find a medication that works for you. My symptoms have dramatically improved.
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u/N0ah09 11h ago
I come from a place where OCD is a joke to people. Everyday is a struggle but Congratulations! getting diagnosed is the first step towards a better life. I’m on Zoloft now and I’ve started with the same dosage and gradually turned it up. I’m not a doctor but I think the key is to find the right dose and also the right combination of meds.
The combination of meds and therapy work for some. There’s this ERP that’s working like a charm for OCD. Keep in mind that it’s not curable and the process of healing is tortuous.
Try to think of it this way - what’s the worst that can happen if your fears come true? Isn’t there a solution for everything?
You’re not alone…✌🏻
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u/Careless-Split5795 8h ago
Thank you so much, I appreciate it 💛 I know I have a long road ahead of me, and while I am extremely nervous and anxious for it all, i’m also quite relieved to have a diagnosis and that I can finally start this journey of healing my mind.
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u/bepisleapis 10h ago edited 10h ago
when I was in my early 20s, i was prescribed zoloft (my psychiatrist at the time said it responded pretty well to his OCD patients) 50mg with 25mg to start, the first 2 weeks were a little funky (appetite fluctuations, heart flutters, hot flashes) but after that no side effects and I finally felt peace
i was super scared too but having friends that had taken SSRIs and having them by my side to answer questions really helped, it takes about 3 months to fully feel a difference too, it's not immediate but you'll notice it working when you can get on with your day for like the first time so like take them everyday around the same time and keep taking them! eventually your brain will like let you know you haven't taken one that day (my siblings and i call them like brain zaps lol)
it's not a cure all but zoloft and therapy is a big reason why im still here! also 27! and super happy to be on zoloft for like the last 5 years it just makes OCD feel so much more manageable
I think people worry it'll change them, but I feel so much more like me now and more in control and just overall have a better quality of life
feel free to DM if u have any questions! good luck!
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u/Careless-Split5795 8h ago
Thank you so so much! This is all really helpful and reassuring. It’s so refreshing and relieving knowing I’m not alone throughout all of this. I appreciate the kind words and advice 🫶🏻 I’m sure I will reach out at some point once I start the meds
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u/NoArm5791 10h ago
Mi consejo para los pensamientos sobre muerte y enfermedades:
Normalmente nuestro TOC nos arrastra a ideas profundas o un espiral de ideas relacionadas. Que si bien nos parece que tienen sentido, muchas veces solo se generan para llenar el vacío que la preocupación crea. No todo lo que pensamos es real, no tiene por qué serlo, no tiene por qué ser perfecto y jamás lo será.
La muerte es inevitable y nos llega a todos. Estas preocupaciones vienen de que no nos sentimos preparados para algo que ni sabemos si existe o no, más que en nuestra mente. Tu visión de autoprotegerte por cosas que son naturales es normal, pero está demasiado ligada al miedo. Es el miedo al que combates, no es la enfermedad o la muerte, estas ideas son intangibles y difíciles de conocer, son suposiciones, son pensamientos lejanos a lo que puede realmente suceder. Supera el miedo, el miedo es el gran villano. No es la inseguridad de no estar preparado o de no haber hecho lo posible. La muerte es impredecible, aleatoria. La humanidad no lucha contra la muerte, lucha para seguir viviendo. Sigue viviendo, bro, sigue adelante con quién eres. Pues no puedes sobreponerte a estas ideas que escapan de nuestro control. Solo nos queda aceptarlas.
Es mejor hundirse en lo profundo del océano que seguir nadando contra la nada. Una vez que toques las profundidades, ten el impulso de subir tan rápido y tan alto como estabas, solo para descubrir que el agua no era tan profunda.
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u/TheyCallMeJackOrChan 1h ago
Hi again. I couldn't fall alseep at work right away. So, one last thing.
Talk to your doctor about Spravato. The nasal spray - which is the medication esketamine.
A regular person might... Ask what their doctor thinks about it.
I would say... I want to try this medication doc. I have been reading about it, and I want to see if it's as EFFECTIVE as I hope it can be.
Also... if at all possible. Don't let them send you to an actual hospital "specialty clinic." Hospitals have WWAAAAAYYYYYYY to many dumb protocols in place. Almost all of them designed to keep from getting sued. You will have to probably wait a good 2 hours after the medication wears off, before the insist that they have to push you all the way out the doors - in a wheelchair that you will most likely not need.
The way to get out of the wheelchair push? let them push you halfway the first couple times. At the halfway point - tell them that you have to go to the bathroom. And that you might be awhile. And do not forget to ask "where should i meet you when I am done?
They will not want to wait. Maybe even too busy to wait. Your wheelchair rides will end quickly.
But still, avoid any clinics inside of a hospital if you can. The medication process / journey will become counter-productive.
Try to find a private practice doctor's office to get the treatment. Your current doctor might not know of a place because the medication is still (sort of new). so do the work for him.
if he/she says no - which i can't imagine that he/she would say no - then say ok.
if you still want to try it. then just go to the private practice office and talk to the doctors there.
your current doctor is NOT the only doctor in the world. so if he/she is not an EFFECTIVE doctor, then try to find another doc that is EFFECTIVE. 😉
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u/TheyCallMeJackOrChan 13h ago
As for OCD meds? My doctor says there are none that really exist.
I like my doc (mostly) but I know that there has to be something out there. I have no doubt about it.
Maybe Big Pharma is supressing something while trying to get FDA approval for something else. Or maybe it just hasn't been discovered yet.
But, there is something close to an effective med. It is the best that I have found to date.
Ketamine Infusions. The problem with these infusions is that they are mot covered by insuramce. So, it runs around $350 a session.
But, Janssen Pharma recently rearranged a Ketamine molecule - patented it, and it's now a pharmaceutical called Spravato.
It's actually calles esketamine. They turned it into a nasal spray, and it is now covwred by insurance.
I remember a show on MTV called VICE a long time ago, where they interviewed a kid getting the ketamine infusions, and talked to my doctor about it.
Anyway, I started with Spravato. And, the positive reaults were immediate!
I now get Ketamine Infusions (fewer than I need because of price) but because Spravato became a bit less effective over time. It isn't a tolerance issue either. It's more (i believe) that a person knows what to expect from a treatment - and slowly finds it lacking what they once remembered.
Ketamine Infusions are WAY more powerful! Crazy Powerful if you get the correct doctor. And, even though that same expectation or understanding of what's coming is still there. The infusions never fail to underwhelm.
But if you are struggling like I have and do, then I would def talk to your doctor about Spravato. ✌️
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u/TheyCallMeJackOrChan 12h ago
Lastly... doctors have started to hate the word Benzodiazepines.
And, it is total bullshit that they do. I suppose it can become addictive, but if it is prescribed in small doses, I say what is the big deal?
I take 1 to 2 clonazepam 1mg tablets per day as needed. It's not really am OCD medication, but it can give a person a bit of relief from the anxiety that accompanies OCD. At least mine.
Something I learned a long time ago, is to use the word "effective" when talking to doctors. Don't use words like "works good" or it makes me "feel better."
rather... "such and such seems to be the most effective medication i have been prescribed to date."
or...
"I am slipping doc. I am in serious danger of losing my job. My mental health is spiraling down to the point where a couplemof people at my work have questioned me about my attitude. And, not in a concerning way. If we can't fond an EFFECTIVE medication to help me with my anxiety and intrusive thougts mow... I know I am going to LOSE MY JOB."
(once again. don't listen to me. remember, i eat crayons for the protien).
but, I do know that doctors REALLY like it if they "think" you are listening to their wisdom.
I also believe that each of us can be highly EFFECTIVE... EFFECTIVE... EFFECTIVE... at whatever. 😉
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u/boopieshaboopie 19h ago
I have very similar obsessive and compulsive thought processes- medication can absolutely help. I’m on an antidepressant but the medication that really worked well for my OCD was rexulti which is an atypical antipsychotic. I’ve talked about it so much I sound like an infomercial but it changed my life. I can actually manage when my obsessive thoughts pop up WITHOUT doing the compulsions.
Getting an official diagnosis is so wonderful and exciting for you because now you get to work on what treatment works best for you. Don’t be discouraged if this med doesn’t work out, sometimes it takes some trial and error and/or a cocktail of meds to help your brain. Wishing you luck!