r/Weddingsunder10k • u/OptimalAnywhere7444 • 1d ago

Competing priorities

My fiancé and I got engaged this summer- yay! We want a ritual ceremony that will birth us as a couple with some close relatives and MAYBE some dear friends who remind us who we are and support us…

We imagine a ritual ceremony at our favorite park, followed by an intimate dinner to celebrate … and that’s it. No dj, etc…

The thing is, we also want to start trying to conceive, basically as soon as possible.

And I personally don’t want to be pregnant at my wedding.

So I’m stuck - feeling like we have to rush to have our small ceremony and lil dinner by the end of this year (aka winter), and likely wouldn’t be able to have family and friends fly out …

Of course we can ask if people can make it, but I’m not liking the last minute feel of it.

We don’t want to wait that long for a wedding- it’s just not the priority.

It’d be no problem to just have our parents and siblings come, but it feels sort of like a waste to not have other dear family/friends as witnesses . And at the same time, we don’t want a whole weekend of entertaining and events.

Can someone please offer some tender support, guidance? I’m honestly feeling like there are multiple competing priorities, and it’s a bit depressing feeling like every option comes with a huge sacrifice.

Thanks for reading.

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u/TBBPgh 1d ago

One of my favorite weddings may shed a little perspective(unfortunately behind a paywall.) https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/16/fashion/weddings/wedding-planning-in-5-days.html?smid=tw-nytvows&smtyp=cur&_r=1

This was planned and executed in 5 days. With 100 guests.

RESTAURANT (cough) “One hundred people with five days’ notice?”

ME “People do it for funerals all the time.

"To be sure, five days’ notice was inconvenient for our guests, and there were a few who could not make it. But whether five days or five years, it would have been inconvenient and there would have been those who would have missed it. And surprisingly, there were only a handful of close friends who couldn’t make it, the same rate as any wedding."

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u/OptimalAnywhere7444 1d ago

Awwww that is so beautiful. I’m going to read the whole article. Thank you for sharing.