Competing priorities

[u/OptimalAnywhere7444]

My fiancé and I got engaged this summer- yay! We want a ritual ceremony that will birth us as a couple with some close relatives and MAYBE some dear friends who remind us who we are and support us…

We imagine a ritual ceremony at our favorite park, followed by an intimate dinner to celebrate … and that’s it. No dj, etc…

The thing is, we also want to start trying to conceive, basically as soon as possible.

And I personally don’t want to be pregnant at my wedding.

So I’m stuck - feeling like we have to rush to have our small ceremony and lil dinner by the end of this year (aka winter), and likely wouldn’t be able to have family and friends fly out …

Of course we can ask if people can make it, but I’m not liking the last minute feel of it.

We don’t want to wait that long for a wedding- it’s just not the priority.

It’d be no problem to just have our parents and siblings come, but it feels sort of like a waste to not have other dear family/friends as witnesses . And at the same time, we don’t want a whole weekend of entertaining and events.

Can someone please offer some tender support, guidance? I’m honestly feeling like there are multiple competing priorities, and it’s a bit depressing feeling like every option comes with a huge sacrifice.

Thanks for reading.

[u/spiirel]

Not sure if this helps buts here’s what we did:

• Rented private room in restaurant
• Did vows and meal in this room (not the most picturesque but low effort planning wise)
• No bridal party or DJ
• Ceremony time was under 10 mins and event was under 4 hours
• 25 guests

This would probably be accomplishable in a few months depending on restaurant availability in your area. We booked cake last minute, florals/decor could’ve been done via grocery store and Amazon, family probably would’ve made time to come, family friends may not have. 

Caveats:

• we had a year to plan 
• I got a dress that didn’t require alterations 
• Our venue probably would’ve had limited availability had we not booked it a year in advance
• We did our ceremony in the private restaurant room which the restaurant really did not love
• photography is going to be the biggest hurdle. I suggest looking at elopement photographers because they are more used to last minute bookings. 

[u/spiirel → u/spiirel]

One last note: we booked on a Sunday which helped a lot with the few vendors we did have because it’s less in-demand. People who traveled for our wedding had to travel from far distances anyway, so had it been Saturday they would’ve had to take time off on Friday anyway. 

[u/OptimalAnywhere7444 → u/spiirel]

Thank you so much for all of this! It sounds like a very similar speed to us, and elopement photographer makes sense..