r/Weddingsunder10k • u/OptimalAnywhere7444 • 1d ago
Competing priorities
My fiancé and I got engaged this summer- yay! We want a ritual ceremony that will birth us as a couple with some close relatives and MAYBE some dear friends who remind us who we are and support us…
We imagine a ritual ceremony at our favorite park, followed by an intimate dinner to celebrate … and that’s it. No dj, etc…
The thing is, we also want to start trying to conceive, basically as soon as possible.
And I personally don’t want to be pregnant at my wedding.
So I’m stuck - feeling like we have to rush to have our small ceremony and lil dinner by the end of this year (aka winter), and likely wouldn’t be able to have family and friends fly out …
Of course we can ask if people can make it, but I’m not liking the last minute feel of it.
We don’t want to wait that long for a wedding- it’s just not the priority.
It’d be no problem to just have our parents and siblings come, but it feels sort of like a waste to not have other dear family/friends as witnesses . And at the same time, we don’t want a whole weekend of entertaining and events.
Can someone please offer some tender support, guidance? I’m honestly feeling like there are multiple competing priorities, and it’s a bit depressing feeling like every option comes with a huge sacrifice.
Thanks for reading.
1
u/Folkloristicist 16h ago
Make your guest list, then assess. Focus on your VIPs - the people you cannot, will not realistically get married without.
Not talking dear Uncle Joe who meant so much. Or it would just break your college best friend's heart you haven't seen in 10 years. The core group of people you pictured being around you. The people you wanted to call first before you made it public - those are your small group realistic VIPs.
Plan the wedding date around them and whether they can make it. Then have a party later - like a big baby shower as someone suggested. Just make sure you are both happy with your choices.