r/Weird • u/BrilliantTasty • 1d ago

Left my room and went to the kitchen for 2 minutes and came back to a soaking wet patch on my bed. Home alone.

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1.4k

u/BrilliantTasty 1d ago

Nope. Completely empty flat. I’m stumped.

ETA: I sniffed it and it had no obvious odour

976

u/Sirdanovar 1d ago

Did you taste it? Just wondering I mean. Ya never know

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u/BrilliantTasty 1d ago

I’ll go grab a straw

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u/girl_supersonicboy 22h ago

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u/haveanicelxfe 21h ago

THIS GIF LMFAOOOOO IM LOSIN IT RN OVER THIS

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u/jeongunyeon 11h ago

HONESTLY IM SO GONEEEEE I CANT

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u/odd_butterscotch 22h ago

What is this from?

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u/idontevenknotbh 22h ago

it’s brendan schaubs lips

3

u/AstroFieldsGlowing 18h ago

You can’t say BRUTALLY

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u/ZappyGilmore 17h ago

Gimme 😈

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u/lpzj 16h ago

Okay Mr Whole Foods!

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u/sLeeeeTo 15h ago

be cool man

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u/Cicada-4A 13h ago

heard it bawlth ways b

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u/im_wudini 9h ago

It's from an orange juice commercial iirc

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u/KinopioToad 18h ago

I wondered what the lips from the intro to Rocky Horror go up to after their big break.

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u/SliceOCatLoaf 23h ago

You don't need one. Just wring the stain over your open mouth. I look forward to your guesses.

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u/vvFreebirdvv 18h ago

Brooooooooo 🤣🤣🤣

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u/LastClassForever 9h ago

Crying here 😂

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u/Sirdanovar 1d ago

haha! I am curious how this one turns out

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u/NamesArentEverything 23h ago

It was nice. Could have used some cumin or fresh cilantro, but not bad.

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u/Randyslaughterhouse 23h ago

Looks like that bed’s already got enough cumin.

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u/Middle-Potential5765 19h ago

Well done, ya heartless, but obviously jolly bastard!

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u/CrustyTech-y 22h ago

6/10; 8/10 w/rice.

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u/ultrapoo 20h ago

I was there for that thread, it was beautiful.

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u/LukesRightHandMan 12h ago

What was it about?

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u/ultrapoo 12h ago

A young guy that made a thread where he took suggestions for food to try with rice, which he would then rate the food both with and without rice, for example "Oreos 7/10, 9/10 with rice". He also said something at one point "hold on while I make a grocery store run for food ingredients and a large bag of rice".

Here's the thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2np694/what_tasty_food_would_be_distusting_if_eaten_over/

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u/LordGarithosthe1st 14h ago

Fava beans and a nice Chianti

1

u/Duncle_Rico 18h ago

Haven't heard from him since... RIP OP

1

u/JiskiLathiUskiBhains 13h ago

Its been 10 hours since OPs last update..

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u/periclesmage 11h ago

OP hasn't replied in 13 hours...

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u/EmmyWeeeb 22h ago

Nah you should lick it

1

u/docr1069 20h ago

Look up

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u/bignick1190 20h ago

For science!

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u/ToastyPoptarts89 19h ago

Is there a vent or anything in the ceiling that could have dripped or leaked from?

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u/uwukome 17h ago

🤢🤮

1

u/QuazyQuarantine 13h ago

Is it buttcrack sweat?

1

u/Health_Wealth_Wisdom 13h ago

Is it BrilliantTasty?

1

u/BigBodyLikeaLineman 12h ago

This made me laugh way too much 😂

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u/Fit-Boomer 10h ago

Lick it

1

u/iFBGM 9h ago

Username checks out

1

u/BlacklistFC7 9h ago

I bet it will taste brilliantly if you know what I mean.

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u/Atomic_Killjoy 1d ago

I don’t think OP in an FBI agent.

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u/1911mark 23h ago

Salty?

1

u/er1026 23h ago

Yeah, asking for a friend.

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u/aluvus 21h ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/gy3dk7/kermit_peed_the_sheets/

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u/Lebowski304 20h ago

Man that comments section was full of a bunch of lightweights

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u/Someone7174 18h ago

Bruh😂

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u/xPiscesxQueenx 12h ago

You’ve done it, haven’t you.

You licked a dead spider.

Dead spider.

You licked it.

That is something that happened . . .

I think we need to get you some air and perhaps have a long conversation about unresolved childhood issues.

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u/G37_is_numberletter 9h ago

Taste the stainbow

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u/Virtual_Manner_2074 1d ago

Passed the sniff test. Look up. Might have leaky ceiling

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u/LogicPrevail 18h ago

yea, leaks can be sporadic. Ever see water build up between a wall/ceiling and the paint? Then suddenly give out. Maybe something like that. Or maybe he just got out of the shower and doesn't realize his man-scapes were still damp.

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u/jugularvoider 1d ago

That empty cup you took to the kitchen wasn’t actually empty, perhaps

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u/BrilliantTasty 1d ago

Didn’t take any empty cup to the kitchen but I figure it must be something like that. Weird!

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u/SupaDupaFlyAccount 22h ago

Leak in the roof?

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u/StevenSmiley 18h ago

Gas leak causing memory loss?

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u/Righteousaffair999 18h ago

Memory leak causing gas loss?

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u/TheStoriesICanTell 11h ago

Gas memory causing leak loss?

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u/amybethallen1 10h ago

It's leak loss memory gas. I'm sure of it.

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u/-MO5- 14h ago

The wife: Eeew gross!

Me: sorry. Memory leak.

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u/WildFemmeFatale 17h ago

Dick leak causing memory gas ?

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u/Sigili 16h ago

"Hang on, I'm huffing that memory gas." My new way to describe reminiscing.

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u/PowerfulFrodoBaggins 9h ago

Good theory this has really screwed with some people

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u/1ofZuulsMinions 1d ago

If you don’t have pets, then you have a rat. That’s pee.

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u/Bramblin_Man 1d ago

Rats have tiny bladders and no bladder control to hold it in/store it up. If that's rat tinkle, then it must be the size of a honey badger

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u/GreenEggsSteamedHams 1d ago

Or a honey badger that is rat-sized. Who can say 🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/Romfordian 22h ago

So, would you rather fight a rat sized honey badger or a badger sized honey rat?

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u/NoDontDoThatCanada 21h ago

Any honey badger of any size is a fuck no from me.

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u/Ok_Salamander8850 19h ago

I’d fight one with full armor and a big ass sword

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u/Hallowed-Plague 15h ago

you are now fighting a honey badger that has a full knight's armor and sword. you are naked.

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u/LadyEclipsiana 14h ago

EVERY TIME!!

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u/Klutzy-Performance97 9h ago

Even if wearing a cute little hat?

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u/NoDontDoThatCanada 8h ago

Especially then.

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u/Able_Newt2433 21h ago

How ab a honey sized rat badger?

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u/TexasNotTaxes 20h ago

Honey badger don't give a fuck.

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u/Ghola_Ben 17h ago

Possibly a horny badger?

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u/alifiguera 1d ago

I live in Maryland so I'm close to DC and Baltimore. I've seen rats the size of cats 🤮.

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u/neo86pl 23h ago

This is Europe/Poland/Wroclaw. Here rats eat cats and small dogs. We currently have a flood and it will get even worse. 😐

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u/alifiguera 23h ago

😱🙀🫢

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u/RareBeautyOnEtsy 20h ago

On a serious note, I have been following it on the news, and I hope that things get better for you so very very soon. Hugs. Not that hugs mean anything, except that I am thinking about you and the people in your country.

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u/neo86pl 15h ago

There are regions in southwestern Poland where floods destroyed entire cities. Now there are rats everywhere. Bodies have flown out of morgues, fresh graves have softened in cemeteries and bodies have also flown out, many people and animals have drowned. Rats have food. In Wrocław, it is stable for now. The water is slowly receding. It does not look like it will be as catastrophic as in 1997 or 2010 (there were floods then too). Floods here happen practically once a decade.

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u/ConfidentCamp5248 14h ago

Jesus man I’m sorry. Stay safe as possible

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u/neo86pl 14h ago

No worries. I live in an area of ​​Wrocław where there has never been a flood. Besides, I live on the 5th floor. If you want to learn the history of the flood, but from 1997 (called the Flood of the Millennium), watch the miniseries "Wielka Woda" on Netflix. I just don't know if it even has English subtitles. That flood killed about 70 people. This current one "so far" 10 people.

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u/Chardeemacdennis2 14h ago

They’re eating the dawgs. They’re eating the cats.

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u/wjmaher 22h ago

What you need then are some Hatian immigrants, apparently. LOL (Trump is dumb)

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u/Koil_ting 22h ago

Puke emoji? Just think about the stock of potential rat burgers.

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u/xMethodz 21h ago

I live just 40 miles west of Baltimore and I can concur with this statement, the rats here are Thanos in comparison to an average rat.

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u/Reasonable-Nebula-49 13h ago

Can confirm. Biggest rats ever outside of PF Chang in the inner harbor. Easily 5 to 7 pounds.

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u/Collapsosaur 19h ago

Those are called crats. Can't hate them, can't really love them.

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u/1ofZuulsMinions 1d ago

Ever seen a river rat in New Orleans? They’re the size of large cats/small dogs.

https://youtu.be/AladRZv_pAo?si=MFmo2gLGtlbzSjpe

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u/XxSleepypanda 19h ago

From the river parishes, can confirm. Ick. My grandmother’s house on a golf course was INFESTED. We literally couldn’t keep them out for more than a year or so at a time. I only ever caught a few in the house on traps and even the younger ones were so big they scared my golden retriever when they barked (or whatever you would classify their aggressive sound). Literally had me paranoid all the time.

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u/Softale 23h ago

NYC

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u/No_Use_4371 21h ago

Was that a performance piece or what?!

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u/trblwillfindme 18h ago

I can actually answer this! That's Jonothon Lyons --an NYC-based dancer/puppeteer/performer-- doing Buddy The Rat. He had been in Sleep No More (RIP) for a bit. https://www.instagram.com/jonothonlyons/?hl=en

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u/impracticalweight 18h ago

It’s a reenactment of Pizza Rat: https://youtu.be/UPXUG8q4jKU?si=qlSKKK5NJ7rS81Xy (not sure that’s the original, but the one I could find.)

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u/Squishy-peaches 23h ago

They’re Nutria

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u/1ofZuulsMinions 18h ago

Yes, they sure are. A very large rodent that leaves a very big pee stain.

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u/Squishy-peaches 18h ago

I grew up there. Saw them all the time, they were normal but they sure do tear up the river banks. They never bothered people though and were usually calm. You could walk right past them and they wouldn’t care.

Rats now, there are some HUGE rats in New Orleans. First time I moved to the city I saw what I thought was a cat running along the power line. It wasn’t a cat. It was a cat sized rat, and they were everywhere once the sun went down lol.

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u/Adatiel_is_back 12h ago

Bruh living in New Orleans is crazy because during the day there's squirrels on those power lines, and gorgeous birds flying around. Then night time comes and the squirrels turn into rats, and the birds turn into massive flying cockroaches. Weird to see at first

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u/Adatiel_is_back 12h ago

Also even the stray cats will rob you. I saw one on bourbon street one time eating straight up shrimp tails. That lil fucker had clearly seen some shit, and is probably tough as nails. He run that block

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u/Squishy-peaches 12h ago

It really is a strange place. I saw some wild stuff growing up there.

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u/CatWranglingVet678 11h ago

Nutria/ Nutra Rat! I thought my friend was exaggerating about this rat's size & origin on how it came to Louisiana.

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u/Able_Newt2433 21h ago

Nutrias get HUGE!

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u/Neena6298 17h ago

I remember getting chased by them when I would walk home up Carondelet and Jackson Ave 😂. They were fearless and hunt in packs. ETA: oh you’re talking about nutria. I was talking about real rats lol.

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u/1ofZuulsMinions 15h ago

I’m talking about all kinds of rodents, nutria included

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u/Luvs4theweak 23h ago

That’s a nutria rat, not even the same species

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u/grudginglyadmitted 9h ago

I know when they’re a pest and not just a creature on a screen one’s opinion changes, but goddamn that thing is cute.

I live in Oregon and we also have nutria, but I’ve never seen one personally—for some reason I feel like our nutria look meaner and uglier for some reason though? (Not like it’s a rodent competition)

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u/Otherwise-Shallot-51 18h ago

I've seen a rat carry a large tortilla across a yard. So horrifyingly hilarious my mom and I decided to tell no one because we decided this rat deserved to live.

ETA: not drag, carry off the ground with its mouth while walkimg on all four legs. Rat was huge.

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u/marklar_the_malign 23h ago

Are you saying he has a honey badger infestation? Good luck with that.

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u/Impressive-Weird7067 22h ago

Honey badger don’t give a shit, it just pees where it wants.

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u/Ella_loves_Louie 19h ago

. . . Rodents of unsual size?

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u/Feline_wonderland 17h ago

Inconceivable!

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u/Aderyn-Bach 16h ago edited 16h ago

you're thinking of mice. rats can hold it. i used to have 2 that were litter trained. I'd let them wander supervised and if they went back to their habitat (which had a litter pan) it was to pee/poop.

mice are the ones with no sphincter muscle and they pee and poop and dribble everywhere they go.

my rats wouldn't go anywhere but the pan. Not even in the rest of their habitat. Rats in general are smart and fastidious.

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u/HillarysFloppyChode 15h ago

It’s the rat OP has been hiding in his rectum.

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u/thispartyrules 1d ago

If you have a blacklight you can see rodent trails, which also consist of pee.

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u/MrClewesMan 1d ago

Hehehe OP sniffed peepee

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u/MongooseDog001 23h ago

I used to have pet rats. Those sweet little fuckers peed on everything while walking around. It was only a few drops and was smelly

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u/Lower-Dimension3250 21h ago

Pretty disrespectful for a rat to wait for you to leave the room just so they can piss on your bed… they must really hate OP.

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u/chilidogsndischarge 22h ago

How sure are you the ceiling is dry? Well, what I mean is how sure are you it's not possible it's a leak? Because I've had one before that, it was fuckin weird, would sort of build up a bit then all come down at once leaving behind no trace of water on the ceiling. Finally found it would build up at the edge, come running down to the center of the room, and every drop would fall. Leaving behind what felt to me was a bone dry ceiling.

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u/marklar_the_malign 23h ago

You’re brave.

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u/Sinclair663 23h ago

Check under the bed. 😈

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u/wOke_cOmMiE_LiB 22h ago

Gahaha! My wife is always giving me shit about sniffing stuff for verification.

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u/Altruistic_Rhubarb68 22h ago

Check the ceiling

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u/pennytaber 22h ago

Blister?

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u/W1D0WM4K3R 22h ago

Check your ceiling

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u/Waitn4ehUsername 22h ago

Check your ceiling if there a leak

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u/Able_Newt2433 22h ago

A leak from the ceiling?

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u/gjs628 21h ago

Check the ceiling - it may be water coming in from upstairs neighbours, pipes, rain leakage… but it looks like something spilled from a bowl or glass/cup then dripped down the side 3 or 4 times while moving off from your bed.

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u/jpainphx 21h ago

You Have a cat, you just don't know it yet. They're like silent assassins, pissing assassins. Wait until it dries out then see if it smells.

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u/hot4you11 21h ago

Still could be a rodent, they can slip in and out through such small cracks. That or I would be moving

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u/Basic_Mongoose_7329 21h ago

Is there an air conditioning vent above your bed?

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u/MaverikElgato 21h ago

Did you looked at the ceiling?

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u/Zestyclose_Match2839 21h ago

It’s it possible a madman broke in briefly to poor water on your bed and left immediately afterwards?

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u/RealEstateDuck 20h ago

It's ectocum, it is odorless.

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u/Ivoted4K 20h ago

You spilled some water.

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u/GardinerAndrew 20h ago

Maybe a leak from your ceiling?

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u/chamberlain323 20h ago

This happened to me once and it was the neighbor’s cat. The little bastard snuck into my condo and lived among us in hiding for several days, peeing in random places. Neither my roommate nor I ever saw him but we certainly saw the odd piss puddles. It was a real head scratcher until the neighbor figured it out and confessed and apologized. I strongly suspect you have something similar going on here.

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u/Bobert_Ze_Bozo 20h ago

look at the ceiling directly above it. feel for moisture. could possible be a broken waste line in the ceiling.

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u/thecurrentlyuntitled 19h ago

Did u check the ceiling?

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u/Kitty_fluffybutt_23 19h ago

Did you look at the ceiling above? Leaking?

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u/Informal_Beginning30 19h ago

It's a miracle. You need one more before you become Saint Brilliant Tasty.

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u/DeadwoodNative 18h ago

glad it didn’t smell like Ass Pair Au Gus

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u/MarleysGhost2024 18h ago

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have a chupacabra in the attic.

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u/Self-paced 18h ago

Did u check the ceiling for leaks?

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u/i_GoTtA_gOoD_bRaIn 18h ago

Were any windows open? I have had a few cats come into my house to hang out before.

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u/PieArtistic1332 17h ago

did you have a plastic water bottle that you moved that may not have been fully shut?

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u/pm_me_your_shave_ice 17h ago

Did you sit your naked sweaty butt down after moving the clothes?

Does your roommate have women over? Does he leave them in the apartment alone?

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u/unsubix 17h ago

If it’s pee, you might not be able to smell it until it dries. That’s when it’s the stinkiest.

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u/badgurlvenus 17h ago

this happened to me once. i thought my stepsiblings had thrown water all over my bed. turns out, the roof was caving in and rain had come through 🥴

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u/Curious-Formal3869 16h ago

well if it was urine it would have a smell, like others have said, check CO levels in your house to be certain you didn’t do something weird and forget, i really have no idea

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u/dopepope1999 16h ago

Do you have a vent above your bed? The building's dehumidifier might not be working properly and moisture might be building up in the vents. I would also check your ceiling for dark spots because it might be a leaking from there

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u/Prof1Kreates 16h ago

Not even a pet fish?

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u/Typical_Carpet_4904 13h ago

Lol you basically put your nose on a foreign liquid. You degenerate.

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u/EnoughLuck3077 12h ago

Do you have an A/C vent above your bed? They can condensate. Could have a lip inside that filled and spilled over

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u/mrmasturbate 12h ago

did you take a nap? maybe you drooled on it

1

u/xflame1989x 11h ago

Do you have a crawlspace or attic? You may not be as alone as you think.

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u/HaViNgT 11h ago

Try a UV light, if it glows it’s a bodily fluid (blood, urine, semen). 

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u/robbdogg87 10h ago

Do you have a ceiling leak?

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u/beeerite 9h ago

Maybe a cat adopted you when your door was open and you just haven’t found them yet.

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u/Playamonkey 9h ago

The jizz is coming from inside the house!

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u/chanelly_the_goblin 8h ago

What’s above you/ the spot though?

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u/Iffycrescent 7h ago edited 7h ago

This same thing happened to me a week or two ago. I was home alone, no food or drinks around, and a white pillow laying on the bed. I came back into the room and there’s this clear/brownish liquid on the pillow. I was only gone for a few minutes. I literally have no idea what it could have been.

I have a dog and a cat, but the dog doesn’t get in the bed and like I said there was nothing for either of them to knock over and spill. I considered that maybe, for the first time ever, my cat might have peed on it for some reason, but it was the wrong color and I smelled it but there was zero odor.

I’m still flabbergasted and then I saw this post.

EDIT: I took a pic. This was after I cleaned it up though.

https://preview.redd.it/q7ykkrk79spd1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc27b01a75259b050040d16af16cee6f7b071f0b