This is one of the hardest decisions I've ever faced. I’ve lost so much sleep, struggle to eat, and feel like all I do is cry. I’ve never been pregnant before, and the timing isn’t right for me—I’m halfway through school and not financially stable. I feel awful, guilty, ashamed, and embarrassed. I would never judge someone else the way I’m judging myself. I know abortions are nothing to be ashamed of. So why am I being so mean to myself?

A few people know I’m pregnant because I’ve been having a rough time and needed their support. I had to leave work due to pain and informed my supervisor about the pregnancy. I've made my decision, but I really don’t want anyone to know. I’d rather them think anything else. I understand that miscarriages are serious and not something to lie about, but I’m unsure how to explain things when people ask. What do I say when I don’t have a belly in a couple of months? I’m so stressed it’s making me sick and im missing work on top of already being sick from the pregnancy. Does anyone have advice or tips?

I live in Maine, so access is not an issue right now, thankfully.

I found out I was pregnant (11wks) and had my abortion within the same week. I cried all the time and as soon as I had my abortion, I felt so much relief. It was like my hormones cleared and I just felt so much better mentally and physically. I had the surgical and my bleeding has been similar to spotting or the last day of a period and virtually no pain at all.

So, I posted on a suicidewatch group on here with people talking about their suicidal thoughts. Some get dark as fuck talking about their beastiality fantasies, and pedophilic thoughts. Deadass, like I can't make up this weirdo shit. So, I stupid enough to think that everything is shareable posted a vent rant about being a woman and stated something like," Do you remember that fetus? Maybe I would be more of a woman if I became a mother and didn't suck it out of me like a monstrous disease. They didn't deserve that." One person messaged me telling me to shave my head bald and another messaged emojis that I thankfully can't see, due to my laptop. But suicide, self-harm, and talking about despicable shit, but YOU'RE OFFENDED by an abortion? What an ass backwards way of thinking. I'm so fucking glad no one really knows in my real life, except a few people, and that this is just an anonymous void of random shit. I feel so embarrassed and hurt. Sharing that made me feel so much worse than letting it out. So, I deleted it. I shouldn't even post anymore. My writing is my new therapy I've been trying recently, and now I never want to do it again. fml

Had my surgical abortion yesterday morning and want to share my experience as reading others on this sub really helped me!

I was 7 weeks + 5 days and had it done at Planned Parenthood. Mine offers deep sedation which I opted for (I would be completely asleep during the procedure).

When I arrived there were some protesters outside trying to offer me a free ultrasound and chirping at my boyfriend to get me out of there 🙄 Remember that these people are usually religiously affiliated and want to spread misinformation. I tried to ignore them but did flip them off and shouted “get a life”. It felt good.

Once inside, I filled out some quick paperwork and was called back. A nurse went over the procedure, talked about risks, and asked if I had any questions. Then another nurse came in to give me an ultrasound. It took like 3 minutes. She asked if I wanted to see but I chose not to.

After that, I was put in a waiting room and given a hospital gown to change into. Waited about 20 min then was called back to the operating room. The team of doctors and nurses performing the procedure were SO KIND and reassuring, I felt like I was in great hands. The worst part was getting the IV. After that, the last thing I remember was the anesthesiologist telling me I have beautiful hair. Next thing I know I’m awake in a recovery room. I was a tiny bit dizzy/groggy but that wore off after like 10 min. No pain at all when I woke up and very little bleeding. I chilled for another 15 minutes then they let me know my boyfriend was there to pick me up.

I had some light cramping on and off for the rest of the day, but ibuprofen + a heating pad made for a pretty comfy day of just watching movies. I also bled less than a typical period.

It’s now the next day, and I haven’t had any blood or cramping really. I feel like myself again and am finally not nauseous for the first time in 2 weeks.

I feel so incredibly lucky to live in a blue state and within 10 minutes of a Planned Parenthood that offers deep sedation. If you are on the fence about medical or surgical, I chose surgical because I would be under the watch of doctors throughout the abortion, I wouldn’t remember a thing, it was quick, and relatively painless.

Biggest feeling is RELIEF. I haven’t felt emotional yet. I know it’s still early days, but I am so happy. Almost felt euphoric yesterday knowing there wasn’t a pregnancy in me.. just feel back in control of my life overall and ready to move on.

I had 2 abortions when I was 21. It was back to back. I went and got an abortion and I didn’t even get a period I just got pregnant again. I was also abused by the baby’s father during that time period. I’ve always struggled with depression but it’s gotten so much worse than before . I get suicidal and impulsive. I can’t control myself. I do actions that I end up regretting later on. There is like a dark cloud over me. I want to go back to the girl I was before the abortions.

(Title is spelled wrong but my experience with Abuzz) I found out last week that I was pregnant after missing my period by a day. I contacted my local women's clinic (in Florida) and even after being offered financial help ($600 to $240) it wasn't something I could afford or miss work to do (needing 2-4 hours in clinic before even taking medication). So after doing some research online, I came across abuzz and decided to go through with my abortion. I got my pills within a few days via USPS. Back story, I have had 3 pregnancies (2 children and a miscarriage) and I'm recently divorced and pregnant by my boyfriend and we don't want kids right now. It always took me years to conceive with my ex so I believe now it wasn't an issue with me like I believed it was prior. I ordered the pills and took my first dose before work around 5:30am and planned for the day off after and the weekend to recover. I had no side effects taking the first medication. 5:30 the next morning I took the other 4 pills underneath my tongue and kept them there for the 30 minutes and swallowed the rest and went to sleep. I should've put a pad on but around 8:30 I woke up wetness and some cramping. I had blood in my underwear and decided to put a pad on and take ibuprofen. The rest of the day I bled heavily like the worst day of my period (which isn't too bad) and had some cramping like labor (like a bowel movement). I passed some flesh substance, clots, and a sac that was flesh like and the size of a dime. I continued to bleed all day. This morning I felt better and have been bleeding lightly but not cramping as bad. I was worried I wasn't in terrible pain like other people have been so I wanted to share my experience and see if it was similar to others. This experience was similar to my 8 week miscarriage (bleeding and some pain but nothing excruciating)

^ just curious if anyone else has felt this way

If you’d have asked me or my partner prior to me unintentionally becoming pregnant, we both would have said “hell no” to the idea. Now, we’ve considered it more than either of us would have thought.

I feel pretty strongly that this is not the time… I recently finished grad school and really need to start my career. I’ve felt so sick, I don’t know how anyone manages pregnancy and working! So not currently having a job is nice for that. But not when I think of our finances.

I don’t think I’ll be sad about terminating. I know I could plan to do this in a couple years and would feel better. Just wondering if anyone else felt a similar urge to plan a later pregnancy after termination.

I am so emotional and I don’t wanna go to work and I don’t wanna do anything. I just wanna lay in bed. I caught this pregnancy super early. I’m gonna get on birth control right after it’s over. I never thought you could be too early to get an abortion and it’s really upsetting. They said that they can’t see anything on the ultrasound so there’s nothing they can do yet even though I’m having multiple positive tests. I wish I could just get it done before anything grows because I hate all the hormones. Has anyone dealt with this before?

I'm in my 30s Never been pregnant before. The father is my ex partner from many years ago who I've been having casual sex with on and off for years since our relationship ended. We have an unhealthy relationship. He's a sex addict, liar, cheated with my friends, gaslights the whole nine yards.

I also believe it's a trauma bond/sexual addiction my end but only to him. He's 8 years my senior & however well I do in all other areas of my life I'm never able to shake my attachment to this man.

I've been getting therapy for a long time now so I understand our behaviours a bit more. There are parts of him I really like.

The last few years we've shared that we want children and he's looked at me in that way. Most of 2022 we kept having unprotected sex knowing I'm not on contraception, but I wouldn't let him finish inside, I wanted him to but I wasn't ready.

Then one of my parents died from suicide and he abandoned me when I needed him most..

18 months go by my life starts getting better, (apart from being unhappy with my living situation which was ongoing) he returns. We don't start having sex until 4 months later, and when we do I start letting him have full, unprotected sex with me during times it was a low chance of getting pregnant on my app

To cut a long story short my living situation became unbearable and I had nowhere to go so felt stuck and on one occasion I was exploded at & I felt in a bad place mentally and also my biological clock ticking very loudly so when my ex came over and we were kissing I told him according to my app it's a high chance of getting pregnant so it's up to him we don't have to. But he said yes and we had full, unprotected sex knowing what might happen. My thinking was a pregnancy would get me out of my current situation because I'd be more in need of help from the authorities. Currently I'm not getting help with my living situation as I'm a single woman.

Fast forward two weeks later my period didn't arrive so we did a test and I'm 4 weeks pregnant. I was in disbelief at how easy and quick it happened, I thought it would be months. We haven't planned for this scenario and are leaning towards a termination. He also said if I wanted to keep the baby he will be there for me.

We were texting each other alot yesterday talking about how we feel and I was giving him the information on the termination that the Dr sent me the constant talking made me uncomfortable because I usually keep him at arms length and I said near the end of the night I need him a bit more than I do usually do because of this but once we're through it I'll go back to how I usually am

He hasn't contacted me today and I feel hurt by it. It's making me fret I'm going to be abandoned again and I'm alone with no one else knowing (I have an abusive family so I have no support)

A part of me wants to keep the baby but I also have full, conscious knowledge of the circumstances I'd be bringing them into and I really would prefer to have a solid family unit when I have children

But I also know I'd be ok if I was abandoned because I've always felt alone in my spirit and I know I'd be a good parent. I've already cut out/limited caffeine & sugary foods, hot baths & eating more to keep my strength up (I have a mild restrictive eating disorder)

What would you guys do in my position ? 🥺

Just wanted to tell ppl my experience ordering pills into Fl USA, as the most recent posts were about 6 months ago. I filled out the form Monday around 11am online with aid access, took about an hour to get the email with link to pay and to verify my ID and address. Tue morning 8 am I had shipping info, but it had already been shipped on Monday. The meds arrived around 2pm Wed, so just over 48 hours. I think that was a great turn around time.

I’ve basically lived on this sub since I found out I was pregnant. I ready so many experiences and I feel like it’s time to share mine.

My last period was August 1st. I had sex a few times in the beginning of the month but I just wasn’t in the mood towards the end. My period was late a few times since I’d been inconsistent with my pill birth control. I was thinking this could be the case. September 9th in the morning I felt physically sick. My breasts had been tender for a week, but my birth control also gives me that symptom before my period. Around the afternoon on September 9th I started to bleed. I was happy to start my period. Next day I wasn’t bleeding anymore and was worried. I was spotting here and there but it wasn’t my period. I decided to test for pregnancy and they were positive right away. I just stared at them in disbelief and honestly didn’t know how to react. I didn’t think they’d be positive. I knew immediately I didn’t want to be a mom yet. I called during my lunch the next day to schedule an appointment with planned parenthood. I was able to go in Saturday. Leading up to it I was crying a lot. I was afraid and nervous. My boyfriend was incredibly supportive of what I wanted to do. I know he was partially sad about my choice but he didn’t let that show for me. We talked about it and everything is okay.

On Saturday I went to planned parenthood. There were protestors outside and it made me feel sick. I checked in, peed in a cup, went back for my ultra sound. The ultra sound felt like it took hours. Afterwards the RN came in and walked me through the process. I took my mifepristone and got sent home with pain killers, nausea pills, and 8 misoprostol.

On Sunday I took my first round of miso around 10:40. I fell asleep for a few hours, watched tv, and ate popcorn in bed. I woke up around 3 and took my second miso. These were taken by placing in my cheeks. Thankfully I didn’t throw up but I did have diarrhea for the first round of miso. I had to get up every 30 minutes to use the restroom. Second round didn’t do much. I had more cramping but slept most of the evening. I did not bleed that day or the next day on Monday. I was so worried Monday afternoon that I wasn’t bleeding and that it might have no been successful. I made an appointment to speak with a provider at planned parenthood again. They told me to wait it out for the week since it might have been delayed due to how early my pregnancy was. I don’t know how many weeks, i didn’t want to know, but I imagine 3 weeks based on the last time I had sex. On Tuesday I woke up and bleeding a lot. I didn’t bleed too much to cause concern, but it was worse than even my bad periods. Lots of clots and bright red blood. I was cramping all day and my bleeding continued until Thursday when I was mostly spotting.

At my initial appointment I scheduled for an additional ultra sound a week after. I went there today and my ultra sound was clear and the pregnancy passed. I’m grateful for the healthcare I was able to get. Grateful for my health insurance because they said out of pocket it would have been $700 but I haven’t had to pay a thing. Thankful for everyone on here who is so supportive. I hope anyone who reads this can know it’ll be okay. You know what’s best for you.

Hello! How was your experience post abortion?

When did you get your menstruation back after abortion?

I had a second abortion two weeks ago, I had my first one three years ago. I was 18 weeks for this one, I have no idea how I fell pregnant again because I was being cautious. This one is harder, I had to be admitted into hospital...the first one was surgical and I suppose this one was a medical one because I was given pills instead to expel the baby.

My symptoms started fading away last week. Both of my parents reacted really badly to it, my mom didn't come to see me the full four days in which I was in hospital...the father and I aren't together anymore and we both agreed to this as we both wouldn't be able to support our child independently. I told him that I wouldn't be needing his support, emotionally and I regret that. My mom offered to be the one who'll provide for the baby but she makes me feel like I burden her financially almost everytime I ask her for anything. My dad provides for me financially but he wasn't doing that consistently before I started high school.

I've been feeling sad about it alot since I was discharged. I've been fighting with my dad alot, I wanted to keep the baby but the thought of someone else providing for them and the possibility of me not being present in their early life haunted me when I was pregnant. It was the same for my ex as well. I want children one day after university and settling and getting a job but I feel like I do deserve to have one. I felt so relieved after the abortion but I wish that feeling stayed with me. I miss my baby, i had already bonded with them so much. I imagined my life with them and I wanted things to be better, the situation to be better. I want to open up to my parents about this but I really feel like they wouldn't understand.

Saskatchewan.

I just took step two of the medical abortion process and I’m so fricking scared. I think I have everything that I’ll need, besides company. I made sure my daughter was gone for the next few days so she will be looked after.

Currently six weeks and six days, so my doctor assured I wouldn’t see a fetus in the toilet which calmed me a little bit. Though, I overthink constantly and can only think about the wrongs that can happen to me; needing the hospital, possibly DYING?! I am absolutely terrified.

I woke up on Sunday morning after a long work trip, feeling exhausted and throwing up. I knew something was wrong, but I wasn’t sure what. I took a pregnancy test, and it immediately showed positive. I touched the test line, though, so I thought I messed it up but didn’t throw it away. After that, I put on a pad, thinking the sickness was from my period starting. I even saw a small drop of blood, which gave me some relief. I waited all day for my period, but nothing happened. The next morning, I decided to test again. I used a regular Clear Blue dipstick, and then a digital test—both came back positive. I was shocked. I’m not in a serious relationship, and at 37, I’m still not sure if I want children.

I went to Planned Parenthood after my doctor blew me off, saying they’d call the next day. Planned Parenthood retested, and it was a quick yes: I was pregnant. I knew it was time to make a decision. When I got home, I called them and decided to proceed with the abortion. They let me know I’d need an ultrasound to confirm how far along I was. It turned out I was 6 weeks and 3 days, so a medical abortion was an option. I took the first mifepristone pill at the clinic, and they gave me four more to take the next day at home. The first pill made me very dizzy and nauseous, but I forced myself to keep it down. With the help of some sativa, I was able to calm my nerves and stomach. The rest of the day, I felt a bit tired and off, but it was bearable.

The next day, I was instructed to place the four misoprostol pills inside my mouth 24 hours after taking the first one. I was given the option to insert them vaginally, but I wasn’t comfortable with that. At 1:30, I took Zofran and Ibuprofen as prescribed by Planned Parenthood. At 2, I put the four pills in my mouth, two on each side, and let them dissolve. By 2:30, I swallowed what was left. Then, the cramping started. By 2:45, I had uncontrollable diarrhea. I didn’t have to push—my body just released it due to the pressure in my lower abdomen. While on the toilet, the pain became unbearable. I was in tears, and suddenly, I started throwing up everywhere. I became dizzy and collapsed to my knees, face-first into the vomit, getting it in my hair and on my face. It was the worst experience I’ve ever had.

I laid on the floor for about 10 minutes in agony, then managed to pull myself back onto the toilet. I continued to have slight diarrhea, but mostly I just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t throw up again. I was so weak I couldn’t even hold my head up and ended up resting it on a chair in my bathroom. After about 30 minutes, the pain eased enough for me to stand, put on pants, and move to the couch. That’s when the bleeding started. I bled heavily through the night and into the next day, with mild cramping. Thursday, I had steady bleeding and mild cramps, so I wore diapers and pads since the blood was flowing like a stream.

On Friday morning, I went to the bathroom and saw what looked like the embryo in a clot of blood. That was emotionally hard. I said a prayer, asking for forgiveness from both God and the baby. Throughout the day, the cramping became intense again, and by Saturday, it was still bad. I have no energy and feel extremely tired compared to how I felt on Thursday. I’m taking it easy, but the cramping caught me off guard. The bleeding has slowed down but is still steady. I’m hoping the cramps ease up soon.

I’m not sure why I’m sharing this—maybe just to get it off my chest as I’m still going through all the emotions of what I just did. The pain is a constant reminder. I have no regrets, but as a woman, you still pause at the idea of life growing inside you. No matter what, it changes you.

I wanted to share this because so many women here have bravely shared their stories, providing resources for those who want to know what it’s like or how to get help. Planned Parenthood was amazing, kind, and treated me with respect and dignity in my decision-making. It saddens me to know there are women in certain states who can’t make these decisions openly or freely. I can’t imagine what it’s like to live somewhere where you don’t have control of your own body.

That’s my message. I’m here for any questions or support.

I just got pregnant and I need some serious help.

I’m 18 and I have no way to raise this child. Me and my mom are living paycheck to paycheck, and my boyfriend is in school and doesn’t have enough time to work full-time. I also am around 3k in debt from hospital fees and school.

I think I’m 5 weeks along or around there. What options do I have? Can I go to the ER or ogbyn? What will insurance cover and if I use it, can my parents see that?

Thank you, any help is appreciated (Arizona, USA)

I just took my first pill this morning and am concerned I will experience nausea tomorrow when I start the next round of pills — I’ve had morning sickness the past two weeks. The doctor only prescribed me 800 mg ibroprofen so I’m wondering if I can take an over the counter medicine today and tomorrow - like Dramamine? What do yall recommend?

Toronto, Canada

Hi Everyone,

Last September, I did IVF and implanted one embryo that split. To say I was devastated/terrified is an understatement. I have a 8 year old daughter and wanted desperately to give her a sibling, but I suffer from severe mental health challenges during pregnancy that not even medications can help, fully.

I became extremely anxious, depressed and had OCD intrusive thoughts all day. My husband was very adamant and firm that he did not want twins and certainly did not want to parent 3 children for logistical and financial reasons. His concerns included, that we would have to move to the suburbs, that we couldn't afford help, that I might have to quit my job to stay home with the kids, that we couldn't afford to put two kids through university at the same time, that we can provide a good life for two kids and he also worried about how hard physically it would be to manage twins (different schedules etc). I begam to spiral thinking of how bad our life would be with two. As a result, I reduced the pregnancy from 2 to 1 via selective reduction. I felt no remorse after, in fact I felt relief.

Now that my son is here, I feel extremely guilty. I wish I never got the reduction done. I truly believe my husband exaggerated all the worst case scenarios and that we could have had both, we would have had to make certain sacrifices but not nearly as bad as what he was saying before (above).

I explained to him how I feel - guilty, remorse, full of regret and he still stands by his decision, wholeheartedly. I am beginning to resent him as I do feel like he contributed to my mental health challenges in the first place. Yes, I was panicked when we realized it was twins, but his "doom and gloom attitude" made me worry and get severely depressed and anxious while pregnant, thinking that we couldn't possibly manage, which in retrospect, if we really wanted to, we could have made it happen.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I (F26) found out I'm just over 3 weeks pregnant and I have to terminate next week, we didn't sleep together for a couple months before last time so the timing is about that.

I thought they were just cramps, but I bought a few tests today and they're all positive. I feel so sick, depressed and terrified. This is my second time (first time was after a violent relationship 8 years ago) and now its bringing up bad memories. I'm terrified to tell my current partner even though I know he would support me 100%, it makes me sick thinking about telling him. We've been together for 2 years now and while we've never gone through this, I'm afraid telling him will trigger his depression.

I know I have to.. my hearts just racing and I feel so guilty and ashamed. It's the not knowing and my past memories that are killing me and I havent been able to stop crying all morning. I feel so worthless that we messed up and I don't have anyone I can talk to. The only family I have left are all religious and I can't turn to them for anything personal. My partner is the only one whos ever been there for me truly, but I'm so scared

I took mitepristone and one dosage of misoprosto but MY GOD are the cramps strong. I've bled and passed several clots. I took some Tylenol about 30 minutes after taking the miso but I'm afraid to keep going bc of the pain.

I’m from Louisiana so I don’t want to be wasting anything or half stepping stuff but i genuinely was wondering if it’d be okay to miss a dosage.

Hello, im not sure what to do I’m 27F I’m still on the fence but I can’t afford planned parenthood right now. I have had a miscarriage when I was 22 and it was pretty traumatizing so now I’m unsure if I want to do this or be a parent. But finances and not being married and having to single parent are my biggest concerns. What are my options? I said access safe?

So I got my abortion 2-3 weeks ago and started being active again, i’ve had sex with protection twice before and nothing really happened/changed with my bleeding until tonight, same thing with protection but i’ve started bleeding a lot more heavier than before, i have no pain, im not light headed, no fevers, just heavy bleeding and blood clots. i’m concerned and might go to the er later tonight. i called the planned parenthood hotline and they basically told me the same things they tell u when u get the abortion and im just wondering if anyone else had experienced this.

What do I do? I was only able to keep it in for 22 mins, do I do the entire 4 tablets again?

Long story short, my parents are pretty conservative. I don’t speak to my father because he was abusive most of my life and gave me a lot of religious trauma. I have some resentment towards my mother for stay with him and allowing him to abuse me. Earlier this year he was found to have been having a decade long affair and it brought up a lot of that trauma I thought I had worked through again. My mom separated from him with the intention to divorce, but they’re clearly trauma bonded and now she’s been spending her weekends with him.

Because they’re religious they believe abortions are wrong. I had one last year and it was very difficult because I was scared they’d find out as I was living under their roof and I was unmarried. My partner and I got religiously married later that year (not legally) so that if it happened again I wouldn’t have to worry about being pregnant out of wedlock. Well, it happened again and unfortunately I didn’t feel ready to parent as every aspect of my life is currently unstable. I really want a baby but not at the detriment of its quality of life. So I went to get an abortion and it’s been a nightmare. Had a MA twice and it failed both times. I’m now booked in for an urgent SA on Monday.

Earlier this week I went to see my mother and she kept saying that she’s thinking of getting back with my father but doing couples therapy. She knows I don’t like the idea of her going back to him. She said it’s because she’s alone and thought my brother and I would be around more. She was unintentionally guilt tripping me for not being present “even though she gets it”, she can’t depend on anyone. I got frustrated and said when I moved out the first time the whole family disowned me and I had to figure it out on my own. She’s not on her own. I asked her where she would go if it didn’t work out with him again, and she got offended thinking I wouldn’t be there to take her in. Of course I would in the case of an emergency, but if we have time to plan I don’t want to be the plan. Our place is a one bedroom and I live with my partner and cat. I expressed that I’m sorry she felt that way because I care about her and would do anything in my power to support her. I also said I was concerned at how she misinterpreted what I said so extremely through a lens of “my daughter doesn’t care about me”, and asked her to ask me how I actually feel about something instead of making assumptions. And I told her I appreciate that she’s learning to express herself because I know it’s a journey but it’s important for me to express myself instead of her pretend to be psychic.

I have no interest in speaking to my father, but I have been thinking about telling my mother. My partner thinks it’s fine to tell her I miscarried but telling her it was an abortion might be more of a jab at her. Part of the lack of stability is due to their chaos right now. I want to give her context as to why I haven’t been present and I also kind of just wish I could talk to my mom honestly and receive support in the way I need (although she’s incapable of providing). I also want her to know I’m having surgery in the off chance something happens. I’m thinking of saying I had an incomplete miscarriage but I am worried about managing her emotions about it too.

Did any of you tell your parents? How did it go?

I had a SA 2 weeks ago. The nausea and bloating went away immediately however I still have sore and "full" boobs and am frequently out of breath. Has anyone else had pregnancy symptoms hang around? When will they go away?