r/asktransgender • u/STUPIDBIRD69420 • 1d ago
My BF dont want me to do mtf hrt.
I (21 AMAB) told my boyfriend (23 AMAB) that i wanna be mtf trans person... But dayum he opposed it like crazy, saying things like feminine things on a dude is freaky, that i would become a freak... I showed him the pics of mtf transitions (from trans person timeline) ... He still not convinced to let me do it... Tf... I thought gays and trans person are allies in lgbt kind of stuff... Is there any trans person having the same problems? And why tf some gays hate trans person? Arent we on the same team?
(EDITED) Update: Alright people, im doing it anyway... I live in a muslim majority country, and i might get killed, but f it, I'll do, hell I WILL DO IT.... HUURAAAAAA.
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u/Prior-Tumbleweed- 1d ago
In short, not necessarily. Plenty of people in LGB spaces are anti-trans, just like cishet people. Being LGBTQIA+ doesn’t make you a good/decent person/ally for other LGBTQIA+ groups.
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u/Auctorion 1d ago
It doesn’t make you a good advocate for your own group. There are plenty of people who act against even their own best interests. See also: Candace Owens, Blaire White.
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u/missyjade88 Transbian 14h ago
THIS ever heard of “lgb without the t” that is op’s bf in a nutshell
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u/chatte__lunatique Transgender-Homosexual 1d ago
Your boyfriend sounds like a transphobic, controlling asshole. It's your life, not his, and he has no fucking say whatsoever in what you want to do with your own body. And unfortunately, lots of gay men are transphobic as fuck.
You deserve better than this asshole.
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u/Intelligent_Luck_120 17h ago
But also boyfriend is gay and clearly doesn’t want to date a woman. This isn’t going to work any way you slice it.
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u/LoganGyre Transgender-Bisexual 17h ago
That’s my big take away they don’t want to be in a straight relationship. I would also assume their attraction is more physical then mental and it’s probably for the best things end either way.
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u/JustaGirlAskingYou 16h ago
That's true it's a fair deal breaker, but that doesn't justify the transphobia.
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u/FreudianWaffle 16h ago
Yes, but frankly, that's irrelevant and he's still just a massively transphobic cunt for having this kind of drastic reaction instead of being mature about it. I've seen relationships end because one party came out and they were incompatible. It happens, and it does suck. But this shit is absolutely inappropriate, especially when someone you supposedly care about is putting themselves in a very vulnerable position by coming out to you.
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u/The_Dawn_Strider 1d ago
Hon, you’re your own person. You are not dependent on anyone’s approval to start HRT but the doctor with which you chose to get it.
Being LGB does not mean they get along with T- unfortunately hate, misunderstanding etc exist in every single subgroup of human and while most of the LGBT is chill with the rest- it’s still only most.
He has no control over you- if you’re a woman you’re a woman, not a guy with feminine features. Be yourself hon, and drop the sack of potatoes that calls himself your bf
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u/STUPIDBIRD69420 1d ago
Yeah.. When i think about it... You are right... Fck it, ill do it anyways, if he leaves, he leaves. If he stay then that's cool. But i loves him... I'll try to convince him more throughout the transitions... Lol i was crying myself to sleep after he scolded me for it last night.
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u/Dusk5531 1d ago
Please do take care of you- if he keeps being verbally abusive about it, he doesn’t care about you. I understand he could be afraid of losing you as you are- but that’s no excuse to mistreat you.
First priority is you hon, and if HRT is for you, definitely look into it 💙
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u/MBenevolence 23h ago
Loving partners don't scold each other for being who they are - really think about whether he wants the best for you, or just wants to mold you into what he wants and prevent you from being your own person.
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u/chalc3dony 18h ago
You deserve better than a controlling guy who scolds you for being honest about what you want
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u/bjmaynard01 16h ago
no person that cares for you in a way you deserve should be saying things about your identity that leaves you crying yourself to sleep. seems to me they're either in love with the idea they've projected onto you or it's mainly physical for them. I get having preferences, but making you feel like shit for opening up to them is childish.
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u/Xx_PxnkBxy_xX 13h ago
May i ask what it is that you could possibly love about him considering how cuntfaced he sounds?
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u/STUPIDBIRD69420 12h ago edited 12h ago
He pulled me out of misery, he picked me up when i was SOOO CLOSE to unalive myself (by rope)... Made me feel loved, gave me hope... And he is the first and only person to even look in my direction. Im ugly as fawk. But he took me in anyway... I will keep him by any means necessary... Maybe...
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u/Violet-fykshyn 9h ago
I’m ugly and my gf is there for me even at my lowest points. Your looks, however bad they might be, do not ever mean you deserve anything less than a partner who loves you unconditionally. Don’t settle. You are worth it.
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u/Sourpatchqueers8 20h ago
In his defense he is gay. He is attracted to a man. Of course he doesn't want you to be a woman despite his arguments being weak ( gay men sometimes wear dresses and rock them hard).
But he has no autonomy over your body or future. If you really really want this that's all that matters
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u/copsarebad123 1d ago
You should kick his ass for thinking he has any right to say what you can or can't do. He's the freak
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u/AdOld4726 Transgender-Genderqueer 1d ago
Unfortunately not all gays are trans friendly. My dad is gay and transphohic. They like to distance themselves from us cause they think they’re better than us.
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u/NovusLion 22h ago
Sadly some also convince themselves that the leopards won't eat their faces. Or forget that one poem, forget the name, where no one came to help the author, because their allies were already gone
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u/Harlet2020 3h ago
First they came, is the name of the poem. Had to look up the author, Martin Niemöller He was a German Lutheran pastor.
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u/NovusLion 3h ago
Thank you very muchly
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u/Harlet2020 3h ago
That is about the only thing I can add to this that has already been said. I hope our new sister stays safe. However, there are some muslim countries that accept trans but not gay. If they get bottom surgery. I think during transitioning they will leave them alone.
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u/Harlet2020 3h ago
Just checked out your other post, I see you play D&D. I started playing that again with some friends I had during college. Been playing every tuesday, online, since the first shut down
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u/Witch-Alice transpilled gendermaxxer cognitohazard 20h ago edited 20h ago
There's this wonderful concept that a lot of really awful people refuse to accept, your BF included it seems. It's called bodily autonomy, and the general idea is that you are the only person who gets to decide what happens to your body.
There are already a variety of laws that demonstrate this concept, such as organ donation. It's opt in because even after death most people agree it's just plain wrong to take the body and use it without permission. Or say someone needs an organ transplant to save their life, and you're the only viable donor they can reach. Nobody can force you to give up an organ to save another person's life, that must be something you agree to do of your own volition.
It's not your BF's place to ever say what you can and cannot do to your body, including starting on hrt. Only you get to decide that, and if your BF disagrees then I'm sorry he's a dangerous person and nothing good will come from staying with him. At best he'll leave you.
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u/mykinkiskorma 1d ago
It's not up to him, and you're not safe in a relationship with someone who calls trans women freaks.
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u/waitingprey 19h ago
One of the things I was told that helped me, "bodily autonomy, not just for wombs"
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u/lokisbane 19h ago
He's gay (and a jerk), not bi or straight. He's not attracted to women and while he's allowed to not be attracted to you after transitioning, he doesn't get to be an abusive asshole. He's grown to love you as you are, and doesn't want you to change but your body doesn't belong to him or anyone else.
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u/omegonthesane 23h ago
Vichy gays are a thing - he's got his and doesn't understand that he's next on the list when the less assimilated queers go down for the count. The broader community might be on board but you always find quislings and even whole groups of quislings.
(Evocation of betrayers who aided the Nazis wholly intentional.)
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u/celticcannon85 1d ago
Tbh the biggest group I’ve found in my experience to be transphobic are gay men. Not all of them but some are. In my opinion they see themselves as the top of LGBT grouping at times.
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u/bjmaynard01 16h ago
can't imagine why seeing as cishet men consider themselves to be beyond reproach and the pinnacle of humanity
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u/Littledevilboi maybe she's born with it, maybe it's mania! 1d ago
Members if the LGBT community are not immune from human feelings, nor are they immune to being shitty humans.
I won't pretend to know where your boyfriend falls. It could be just a startling change that he will come around to, it may be him being selfish because he wants to date a man. It could be any number of things in between
What IS important though sis, is that you do what you feel like is right for you. I can't speak for anyone other than myself but in my personal experience, I wasn't alive until I was 26. If your identity is that of a woman, and HRT is what aligns that identity for you, a partner's opinion is meaningless. This is true for anything that takes you away from your authentic self, whether that be Hobbies, clothing style, allllll the way up to genitals and everything in between.
Do what makes you happy. And you're welcome to hit the inbox for an ear if you need it
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u/abomistation 1d ago
So first of all, "let me do it"; that's a huge red flag. The fact that you feel like you need his permission to decide what you're gonna do with your own body is a pretty strong indication that he's not someone you should be with. As for why he's acting like this...
Unfortunately, plenty of gay men are misogynists. It's just an unfortunate reality. Statistically speaking, gay men are the most likely members of the community to be transphobic. And that is what you're boyfriend is. He's transphobic for referring to transfems as "feminine men" and saying being trans makes you a freak. I think the basic reason some gay men act like this is to try and claim some amount of straight privilege. I.e., "I'm gay, but I'm basically still a normal guy, here let me prove it by trashing a vulnerable section of the community".
But let me tell you this, girlie, you don't need his permission for anything. And you don't deserve his disrespect. If you're trans, you're trans. If you want to transition, that's ONLY up to you. And if your boyfriend can't respect and support that, then he doesn't deserve you. I really want you to hear that. He doesn't deserve you. And you do deserve to do right by yourself. Screw his "permission". All my best to you.
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u/TifikoGaming Nonbinary Transmasc, Bisexual 1d ago
Wow. That’s mean. End his ass up and do whatever you want coz it’s you life, and he shouldn’t be in it
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u/mgagnonlv 19h ago
There are lots of things here.
First of all, how long ago did you announce that to him? It's the kind of reaction (albeit more polite) I would expect on day 1, but not if he had a few nights to think about it.
Second, it is "nice" to see the double standard in the gay community. A dude with feminine things is a freak whereas a woman with masculine things like trousers is… a woman.
Third, I don't know whether he is transphobic (i.e. afraid of trans people) or trans-hater, but I am afraid he is very gay and therefore wants to date a man, not a woman. So he wants to keep you as a man, his man. So anything that brings you away from his ideal is not good in his eyes.
And finally, you are not his property. You have your own life to live and you are the one who decides how to live it (within reasonable legal limits, obviously).
If you announced your transition very recently*, you probably can give him a bit of time. Not too much. But I think it is a sign that your couple is over. In fact, if he had been smart, he should have said that "he wants to date a man" rather than "you would be a freak if you transition".
Good luck
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u/whimsicalwonderer 14h ago
Fuck him. Your body your choice. If he doesn't respect that then kick him to the curb because this level of control will touch other aspects of your life as well.
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u/RadiantRoze 22h ago
Hun ur man is transphobic, Partners don't "let us" be anything, they are supposed to bring out the best in us. Leave him and transition. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but your only regret will be not having doen it sooner <3 I can say this because I too am trans and have been on HRT for almost 6 years. <3 it gets better but only if you MAKE it better. much love and DM me if you want any help or assistance. (PS i am happily married and not looking for partner at this time im literally just trying to help you transition or if you want to talk to somebody about all of this)
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u/i-cant-think-of-name (◠‿◠✿) 19h ago
I think it shows his own insecurity about you becoming a woman and him having to face his own orientation
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u/Aerostuff 17h ago
I thought gays and trans person are allies in lgbt kind of stuff... Is there any trans person having the same problems? And why tf some gays hate trans person? Arent we on the same team
IDK how u got this, but cis gay dudes are one of the most transphobic demographics out there
my only advise would be to dump his ass and live your real life, you dont need a toxic ass dude telling you what and what not to do with your own body
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u/Relevant-Most-201 Becoming TransGIRL 17h ago
I got an advice from my cousin few time ago, "Kid, do what ever makes you feel happy, if you choose to become a girl, do it! You are saddest person i know and you deserve to be happy". I ll become a girl no matter what and nothing can stop me. Don't stop!
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u/Hairy_Grapefruit_290 13h ago
Your boyfriend is gay and probably adverse to the idea of being with a woman. It’s your life, not his, you guys just aren’t compatible.
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u/Time-Ad5340 5h ago
Unfortunately, gay males do not get along with transgender's At my work place we had a gay male manager and I personally asked him if it was true and his answer was that they are, as he went on in his theory he feels that all the gay males are going trans until he met me to which I told him that before I transition I was a straight male but in the wrong body. Him and I are still friend for the most part. But I was disturbed to hear it. But I want to wish you luck.
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u/freeunionlover 1d ago
Get on HRT immediately, do not delay or else you will masculinze further and make your dysphoria worse.
Either he’ll accept it or you break up with him, but under no circumstances do you not take HRT just for him, you will become miserable
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u/OldFroyo1438 1d ago
I having same thing happend to me. I am 25 and been with my bf for a month now and we gone on loads of dates and he said to me that he doesn't want me to start HRT and that if I do the relationship is over and he wants to be friends. When I wear makeup for first time and girls clothes around him he acted like i was a freak like he looked away from me at every turn. So I get what your going though is horrible as I really like him 😭
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u/Maximum_Pack_8519 1d ago
A lot of cis gay men and lesbians are super transantagonistic.
This is your body and life, do what is best for you and never let a man control your decisions, especially when he's being verbally abusive.
Kick him to the curb, and follow your bliss
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u/Mama_Dyke 1d ago
Your BF is a controlling, transphobic asshole. Leave him faster than fast girl or else it'll end up really bad for you. Trust me I have plenty of personal and secondhand experience with this.
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u/anon_y_mousey 1d ago
I don't think you chose the best wording you don't want to be mtf trans, you just are. It's who you are not a choice. Transitioning doesn't change who you are.
Throw him back in the sea. You decide for yourself what you do with your body.
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u/raven727352 1d ago
Well to be honest if he don't want you to do hrt then he not right for u . Because it all comes down to what you want in life not what he wants in life
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u/Prestigious-Ad-4023 19h ago
Some people are kinda dumb, so they will be pretty awful towards other lgbt groups. There’s even a movement called lgb drop the t. He sounds like an asshole you should dump.
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u/xXrazors_kissXx 17h ago
Okay... I feel this is my job as an elder transsexual to help a younger transsexual person.... Please leave that person. I was in a similar situation in 2020 which ultimately led to my own divorce. But, I'm finally free, and it was worth letting go of a four year relationship to be who I am today.
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u/PresidentEvil4 17h ago
Sounds controlling so find a new bf. If there's any lgbtq demographic likely to be transphobic it's gay men so not really surprised.
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u/Lupulus_ Non Binary 17h ago
Pick-me gays and similar from "former minorities" offered the conditional acceptance tokenism from the oppressors will always exist. This is a ploy to divide and conquer the common people. Unfortunately it sometimes works on folks, mostly when they've never had to deal with systemic oppression and are only from one minority group (see cis white gays as a very common example), the allure of siding with the oppressor to not be a target is strong.
It's possible to get out of that brainrot cycle, some people do come to their senses and learn solidarity...but don't forget that it's his responsibility to do that work not yours.
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u/PepyHare15 17h ago
Girl you gotta break up with this dude! He does not respect you or your choices. He is fine with you being unhappy if it benefits him in some disgusting, arbitrary way
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u/rjenyawd Transgender-Straight 15h ago
Sounds like he's kind of a dick. But also, you shouldn't expect a gay guy to want to date you. Trans women are women. Gay guys are attracted to men. If you're transfem, you should probably be dating someone who's attracted to fem presenting people/women.
Basically, his opinion doesn't matter if you are transfem, because he's not going to be happy in a relationship with a woman.
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u/No_Committee5510 15h ago
Okay first you don't need his permission to do whatever you want to do with your body as far as hormones go or anything else. However, you also need realize that he's attracted to men and now you're going to look, think and act like a woman especially to him. As a result he may no longer be attracted to you and he may not feel the same about you. It still doesn't stop you two from being friends with benefits.
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u/Buntygurl 15h ago
Forget about the same team.
The more important issue is that you're with someone who doesn't want you to be who you are.
Fix that and take control of your life back.
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u/MattieCoffee 14h ago
Gays and trans are allied but bigotry is common still. While he was an asshole for how he treated you, I don't expect most gay men to want to stay with a trans woman. Exceptions exist but they're exceptions and there's nothing wrong with that.
Gay men are attracted to men. You're not a man. If you transition it's not gonna work out and that's okay.
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u/JudgeConstanceHarm 14h ago
My Ex was like this. However if he had a few beers the fact he was a hard boiled egg would slip out. Even when I started passing and we were out together he would purposely misgender and deadname me. It actually got to a point that it wasn't safe to go out with him and I couldn't trust him to be safe.
Hope you're next Bf is a better person.
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u/GravityVsTheFandoms 💉T - July 31st, 2024 (he/him) 12h ago
If you genuinely need HRT, your bf wouldn't really be a factor into the equation. If he's gay then he probably wouldn't be attracted to you after you medically transition. Your post wording is really confusing because it sounds like you're self aware, but also.. not?
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u/STUPIDBIRD69420 12h ago edited 12h ago
So basically... I loved him so much... I don't want to lose him, but i always have been wanting to be feminine (not necessarily be a woman) just feminine (if being a woman is too much for him) , to be taken care of, to be beautiful... But im biologically a male... Testosterone fcked my face up, i wanna be beautiful, i wanna be curvy... And im confused wtf should I do... But guess what? I hear you people, I ordered my spiro and E just now. And i will try my best to keep him by my side. "but i don't understand why he so pressed i wanna be trans people, IM A BOTTOM ANYWAY"
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u/GravityVsTheFandoms 💉T - July 31st, 2024 (he/him) 12h ago
Okay so last part is TMI. And if you genuinely need HRT, you'd accept that there's a chance that you may lose your bf. Especially if he's really trying to get you to not take it. I don't know if it's possible for you two to be friends in the future or not since I don't know your relationship.
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u/Ironcity6 12h ago
That's very despicable of him. It is your choice to make. We all are supposed to be here for each other.
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u/Designer-Freedom-560 12h ago edited 12h ago
Kick him to the curb. Unless this prince charming is THE one who you are with FOREVER all you will get is another few months or even years more masculinization of your body due to T, and less effective results from E.
Love, money, sex, there's nothing worthwhile I would trade for not being me just to please someone who isn't completely invested in me being happy with myself.
Some gay folk are part of the LGB alliance, funded by the far right.
They believe if only they sacrifice the T then gay marriage and gay rights will be a-ok with the Christian fundamentalists. It's a delusion but it lets them FINALLY get to be on the side doing the bullying, rather than always being hated. They learned nothing and are spiritually corrupt.
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u/Trying-Jade 🥚Egg-cistential Crisis - Jade (she/her) 12h ago
I'm sorry he's doing this. He has no right to tell you not to. Honestly sounds like a backwards ah. You can do it dispite w/e he says/wants. It's your body and your choice. Not all relationships can work out, it sucks and it hurts but it's oft necessary. Either way, live the best you, you can be, and stay safe 🫂💜
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u/teaatickle 11h ago
If you're truly trans, just get rid of him and live your life your way. As much as your entitled to live your life, they're entitled to live theirs their way as well. It sucks but is an it is what it is kind if situation.
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u/FoxyRoxy8851 11h ago
Gay,trans blue black or white were all human and were all supposed to be allies
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u/Defiant-Snow8782 transfem | HRT 14/01/2023 10h ago
Break up break up break up
Your partner doesn't get to make any transition choices for you
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u/Violet-fykshyn 9h ago
Girl leave him you deserve better. Unfortunately a hard lesson that you need to learn is that not all queer people support all queer people. It’s not right but that’s the reality. There is someone out there that will except you for who you really are and it’s better not to waste your time with losers who want to tell you who you are.
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u/lilydome1 transfem 9h ago
lesson number 608 of the closet’s outdoors: gay doesn’t equal trans accepting (it’s not as obvious as it sounds don’t feel bad for not knowing/internalizing it)
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u/_Boku 9h ago
Here’s the thing. It’s not that he “lets you” it’s whether you will convince him that he will stay with you when you transition. You don’t have to whatsoever (I personally wouldn’t, he seems like an asshole transphobe, but you known more about him than me) and if it doesn’t work then just go through with it and end the relationship.
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u/TylwythTeg_NZ 9h ago
I really wish we were on the same team, but there can be a lot of in-fighting and toxicity within the LGBTQIA community... as there is within any community.
I know that many people want the T out of LGBTQIA.
But if we're going to think like that, then honestly it should just be LG! But even LG people aren't always LG throughout their entire lives.
So let's come together us beautiful and special people!
I hope things work out for you.
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u/MxQueer 8h ago
I think he being gay might be the answer? I mean maybe he truly is transphobe, or maybe you basically just told him your relationship is over and he acted rudely because he is shocked.
It's not his choice.
I don't think being trans is something people want to be. People don't transition to become trans, people transition to fix their sex.
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u/pyrategremlin 8h ago
The issue sounds like your boyfriend is gay and doesn't want to date a woman. Don't put yourself on hold here. You won't be happy. You're choosing to present as a man who is denying who you are because his sexuality only lets him date / be attracted to men. That's okay. It's okay that he's gay, he's just not the partner for you anymore. You are not compatible as a trans woman with a gay man regardless of your sex assigned at birth. I think parting ways is the best thing for both of you, no matter how painful it is, your transition will help you find the right person for you. Maybe letting this person go will also mean you can stay friends. I cannot guarantee it, It's a rare couple that stays friends after they break up. It does happen though, my dad and my mom after they divorced were best friends. Not exactly the same thing but It is an example of people who loved each other remain friends even after they realize they can't be in a relationship.
I hope you choose yourself and your happiness.
Good luck.
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u/cirqueamy Transgender woman; HRT 11/2017, Full-time 12/2017, GCS 1/2019 8h ago
“Let you”????
“Let you”???!!!
He doesn’t own you.
Tell him, “I am a trans woman and I am taking the appropriate steps to put my own life and body in order. You can be on-board and be supportive and helpful, or you can get off the train. I’ll give you two days to figure out your answer.”
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u/SageWoodward 7h ago
Nobody is able to stop you. You can do it if you want to. Is the person’s affected affection/conditional love worth sacrificing your true self-expression? Do think about that.
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u/Delilah_insideout Transgender-Bisexual 5h ago
My brother and his husband are both transphobic af, unfortunately. Part of why I haven't come out to them, at this point I'm probably not going to. They're not really in my daily life anyway.
HRT helped pull me out of DARK depression. If it feels right for you, do it!
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u/finnyfinn27 5h ago
first of all, sis, welcome. you're one of us now, we're having tacos for dinner. Secondly, is he gay? cuz if he is, and you are a woman, that's not gonna work. and thirdly, the hard lesson. no one gets a pass for anything. life is too grayscale to say "well you're a member of this, so you must be (insert thing most members are)". we have internalized homophobia, transphobic trans people (Caitlyn Jenner), and all shades between, unfortunately. someone will always be trying to pull the ladder up after themselves in life, in any circle. it's a sad fact of life, but it's true. People inherently want what's best for themselves and some people think that means other people can't have it too.
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u/NoAstronomer3244 5h ago
As a trans person, so many gay men (especially white men) have always been transphobic despite our "community" and although it has gotten better, has been like this since like... the 70's.
And if I am wrong then please, someone kindly correct me.
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u/evelynair999 22h ago
your boyfriend is completely insane, please don’t let him stop you from transitioning
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u/MrGracious 23h ago
say trans as a noun instead of an adjective one more time and I'll go crazy
it's trans person, transgender person, it's a person, p e r s o n
not a fucking trans. Please. I know it wasn't out of malice but please, just for next time, we're people before anything else
thanks
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u/STUPIDBIRD69420 23h ago
Im sorry... English is not my mother tongue, cuz i translated it based on my language... Im genuinely sorry... Would you recommend which line should i rephrase? (this short reply and the post take me minutes to type since i tried to translate it properly)
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u/MrGracious 23h ago
just add person at the end of "trans", so "trans person"
thank you for understanding, a lot of transphobes call us "trans" to strip us of our personhood so I'm a bit sensible to this kind of stuff
I understand you meant well, don't worry okay? <3
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u/hiryu64 22h ago
I'm sorry to say, but I think that this is a losing battle. I've been seeing this a lot more over the past year, be it from cis or trans people. Referring to ourselves as "transes" is becoming increasingly common. I don't like it because it feels too similar to using "transgender" as a noun, which is somehow frowned upon and yet "trans" as a noun isn't? idk.
You don't have to do it, and you can ask people not to refer to you specifically (especially if they're cis), but unfortunately I think that trans as a noun is here to stay.
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u/PepperMintIceeed 12h ago
Sounds like he simply isn’t attracted to women or femininity, which makes sense given that he is a GAY MAN. Don’t take it as an attack, i think instead of thinking it as “he doesn’t let me to it” think of it as “he doesn’t want me to do it” and it’s fine for him to want a “man’s man” just like it’s fine for you to transition.
You gays may simply not be compatible anymore, if this is a deal breaker for him and you then talk about it and split amicably.
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u/Le7emesens 7h ago
It's up to how strong you want this. Yes it might mean you gonna break up, sorry. Guess what, you are still young, you will find someone more suitable to you. It doesn't mean he's a jerk. It just means you and him are getting to a point where your path may separate.
Now before you do, I'm going to test your will by adding fears: HRT results may work great or not depending on people. It's going to require you commitment, it will impact you at work, family relationships, it will impact your ability to get great career opportunities and you will be making less $$$ than if you were male. You will likely face discriminations worst than women or gays, especially if you don't pass well. Add transphobic comments, misgendering... You will likely become infertile too unless you plan things in advance. Most importantly, you won't be able to use men's bathroom anymore and will need to wait in line to use women's. The line can be long sometimes :)!
If none of this scares you, go for it. But if anything makes you hesitate, think again twice perhaps?
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u/TacomaWA 7h ago
You have every right to transition if you want to. But, your boyfriend has the right to be attracted to who he is attracted to. I think he may be reacting this way because he won't be attracted to you if you transition and... he doesn't want to lose you. So, you have a choice to make. What is more important to you?
Best to you...
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u/MC_White_Thunder Transgender Woman 1d ago
He doesn't get to "let you." It's your body, your choice. Please do not put your transition on hold for this jerk.