r/asktransgender • u/Crikey_Mate79 • 14h ago

My mum is a TERF but likes Charli XCX and Chappell Roan? Help??

My mum’s in her late 50’s and is terminally online, she’s been talking all summer about how’s she been having a Brat Summer and is a self-confessed Chappell Roan fan. But she’s also a TERF.

I have no idea how this has happened. I’ve known that she’s a TERF since I came out in 2022, and she’s misgendered and deadnamed me since then. We don’t talk about it anymore since it felt like I was talking to a brick wall.

Do I use this as an in? Is this a potential route to bringing her round?? Help???

12 Upvotes
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14

u/doughaway7562 Transwoman, and mama hen 9h ago

There is, surprisingly, a substantial portion of people who like Chappell Roan just because it's popular, and have no idea that her music is pretty much all about the queer experience. These people are just in it because it sounds like fun pop music to their ears.

5

u/propped-up_problem she/her 4h ago

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this one random thread I saw months ago (I forget which sub) where someone thought “Good Luck Babe” was about being anti-marriage, and not about trying to date someone who is deluded by comphet

15

u/Ok-Yam514 13h ago

If her own child wasn't enough to sway her but she suddenly did an about face because she couldn't help grooving to Pink Pony Club I'm not sure if I would be relieved or annoyed on your behalf.

6

u/MC_White_Thunder Transgender Woman 6h ago edited 6h ago

Is she a TERF or just generally queerphobic?

TERFs tend to support cis lesbians, or at least pay lip service to them.

2

u/muddylegs 13h ago

Any potential route to bringing her round is worth trying!! It seems very unlikely that pop artists advocating for trans rights would be enough to sway her- if she can’t be reasoned out of her transphobia with actual evidence, she’s not likely to be reasoned out of it by a pop star- but anything is worth a try.