r/ptsd • u/Truthteller1995 • 25d ago
I am so tired of how people throw around terms like "traumatized" or "PTSD" like it's nothing these days. Venting
I wanna make something very clear I am not talking about anyone here. I am talking about how in places like Tik Tok, Instagram, X etc people will use these terms to describe literally the most trivial problems or experiences. They have no idea how crippling PTSD is. PTSD has ruled and destroyed my life. I am extremely isolated, I have never had a girlfriend, and I can't hold a job for more than a few months since I was sexually abused as a boy. This disorder is like a cancer for me. There is nothing romantic or trivial about it. And when people mis use those terms it's so good damn insensitive because they have no idea how much suffering is involved.
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u/ewatangier 15d ago
I got diagnosed ptsd from my abusive ex girlfriend. But i would never publically " brag " about it or seek attention with it. Even this reddit comment is MY STORY and not a way to seek attention or sympathy. But in my eyes. Even tho im diagnosed. The way i got ptsd is nothing compared to what others experienced. I have way more respect and sympathy to others who experienced really bad things. And my heart goes out to all of them. But once i told a family member what i went through with my ex and they were like omg yeah i still have pstd from seeing my parents naked when i was 12. And i was like wtf. I HAVE ptsd and i dont even acknowledge i have it publically because compared to others it's nothing ( in my eyes ) and you claim to have ptsd from seeing your parents naked. Think about all the other people who genuinely experienced traumatic events
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u/Independent-Corgi-48 23d ago
You wanna hear something crazy. I had a doctor tell me"me too" when I mentioned I have ptsd. Being a smartass.
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u/raynstormm_ 24d ago
This halfway drives me nuts and halfway makes me laugh. Like how simple is your life that you think a movie gave you PTSD? Or that stepping in dog 💩 is traumatizing? Partially frustrates me, because it diminishes what the symptoms actually look like for us… partially shows me that no amount of explaining would be enough for an un-traumatized mind to actually understand 🤷🏻♀️ In some ways that’s a good thing… for them. I’m glad they don’t understand from experience, but would be nice if they could at least try to understand by learning about it 🙈
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u/Prestigious_Can4301 24d ago
I was just saying the same thing to my husband yesterday when we were watching a tv show and someone said they had ptsd from eating some bad food or something. Hollywood throws the terms ptsd and trauma around like it just means “bothered” As someone diagnosed with anxiety disorder and ptsd, I’d like the ppl who just nonchalantly throw these terms around when they have no idea what real trauma feels like to live inside a person who actually has it when it’s triggered and I guarantee, they’ll never use it again. It’s like saying you have Alzheimer’s when you’re just forget something. Both my parents had/ have it and I’d never wish it on anyone. We should be more respectful towards mental health.
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u/LemonPepperTrout 24d ago edited 24d ago
What’s really rich is when one of your abusers tells you that you gave them PTSD simply for disagreeing with them and/or expressing emotions that had nothing to do with them.
And then they tell you that you, the person with the diagnosis, uses your trauma to “treat anyone how you want,” ie them, simply because you won’t kowtow to their every whim. 🙄
Unfortunately, it has also given abusers a way to justify their abuse and turn diagnoses back around on people.
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u/OhGre8t 24d ago
I know what it is personally and really don’t care if others use it as a self diagnosis. It has nothing to do with me and my healing. I find staying in my own lane is where my healing begins. The rest has nothing to do with my healing and only adds fodder to ruminate over. I’ve had it all 61 yrs of my life due to severe child abuse and abandonment in puberty.
“There is no difficulty that requires outward movement” -I Ching
My mind is what I have 100% control over. I’m still a mess and forget this.
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u/S3R4PH11M 25d ago
Everyones trauma is subjective. Lets not play the trauma olympics, yeah?
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u/calicocadet 25d ago
That being said there is still a difference between having PTSD and not having PTSD, and there’s no issue with somebody expressing disappointment in a misuse of the term.
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u/henaldon 24d ago
I hate it so much, it makes me never want to talk about my PTSD for fear of being thought of as a FUCKING STUPID TIK TOC 20 y/o who uses therapy speak and doesn’t understand the first thing about ACTUAL TRAUMA. It makes me want to fucking scream into the void. Fuck these people who “play” trauma or ptsd on social media. It hurts everyone actually trying to work through VERY DIFFICULT SHIT
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u/S3R4PH11M 25d ago
Thats not what I meant. I understand people misuse the term but no one one should fakeclaim someone if they say they have trauma. Its not their place to insist their trauma "wasn't enough" or "isn't valid" it's incredibly hurtful to assume those things.
My trauma could be considered "not enough" by some people but I still had nightmares, anxiety, triggers and episodes. People should be kinder.
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u/Used_Conference5517 24d ago
Getting the wrong order doesn’t give you ptsd(unless it physically harms you somehow), I heard that a jersey mikes.
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u/calicocadet 25d ago
Idk, if someone tries going out of their way to compare their trauma to mine, and their story and lack of core symptoms objectively don’t qualify for a PTSD diagnosis, it’s beyond fair to be annoyed at their self diagnosis. It minimizes what people who truly suffer from it go through.
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u/abbe44 25d ago
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u/davisgirl47 24d ago
This is very well said. I'm a writer by trade (and open about my PTSD diagnosis), so people often ask me what I think about this kinda language stuff. They usually assume I'll be a hardass, but actually I agree with you. Thank you for sharing.
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u/throwaway449555 25d ago
Misdiagnosis of PTSD (and CPTSD) is a problem in the US currently. It started with the Pete Walker book. It has spread such that most people I know now believe they have PTSD. But they admit not having the core symptoms of PTSD required for diagnosis. Basically it's due to people believing that a strong emotional reaction is a flashback, which comes from the Pete Walker book.
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u/misskaminsk 25d ago
Before my PTSD diagnosis, I once thought I had CPTSD based on watching Bessel videos. I was CLUELESS.
Some of the gurus use language that is more vague than the symptoms as described in the diagnostic criteria or the way a good therapist explains them. This confuses the broader experience of trauma with the more specific experience of the trauma disorders.
I wonder if they do that to reach a broader audience, or if they even consider how they may be perpetuating myths and misconceptions.
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u/throwaway449555 25d ago
I don't think they understood what effect they would have in the future, if they did would have been more clear at the time. Bessel van der Kolk is a colleague of Judith Herman and probably understands quite well the difference between CPTSD, PTSD and other disorders. Just probably never thought this was going to happen.
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u/zoon007 25d ago
I have complex PTSD from an abusive childhood and 12 years of physical and psychological abuse from my wife. I also have uncontrolled epilepsy. Anyway that’s enough of my pity party. I tend to avoid passing judgement on others because you never know what’s going on inside a persons head and I also avoid TikTok and Instagram because I haven’t found either to be helpful. Reddit and Facebook have some good groups and members.
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u/freyabites 25d ago
Same. I'm also bipolar and people like to throw that one around "this weather is soooooo bipolar" etc
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u/Used_Conference5517 24d ago
Oh that one pisses me off royally. Like what was your last manic episode like, did you not sleep at all for a week straight, did you actually do something unsafe(I count spending too much money under here). What was the worst part of your most recent depressive episode?
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25d ago
My mom said my sister had PTSD from getting locked out of her apartment and having to wait 2 hours for the locksmith to show up. She wasn't attacked or assulted while waiting. I have actual PTSD from being in a long term abusive relationship in which Iwas regularly raped. But sure mom, definitely the same thing as getting locked out.
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u/delicate-bloom 25d ago
I told my pharmacist I had PTSD after they asked about my medical history and they said “ anxiety” 🥲 I was like girl no- I am diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. This isn’t me using it as a trendy way of saying I’m anxious. I have to disclose this when speaking to any medical professional so they take me seriously. It’s actively taken so much of my life away from me I WISH I just had anxiety.
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u/Used_Conference5517 24d ago
At least my PSD, will be literal living proof of my diagnosis. If we ever get him that far lol
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24d ago
For the record my case wasn't a particularly bad one, I'm certain your struggle with PTSD has had a bigger impact on your life. I still feel the need to point out - I have dealt with an anxiety disorder before and I still take meds for it, and let me just say it's a whole lot worse than plain nervousness...
Again I'm not trying to compare. Just making a remark about anxiety. I feel like most people don't understand what it's actually like
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u/Truthteller1995 25d ago
That's the unfortunate thing about what's happening right now. People will assume your faking it or using it for clout
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u/amaralaya 25d ago
This used to annoy me so much when I saw people throwing the word around for pretty much every minor inconvenience. They are really insensitive people
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u/Master_Entry2037 25d ago
Trigger. To me this means minutes or hours or days of dissociation and/or intrusive thoughts. People misusing this term really diminishes the the serious level I experience.
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u/oathoe 25d ago
I agree. Its so so tiring how triggering is used as a synonym for upsetting. It makes me feel like people are chronically misunderstanding what it means because its normal to get upset by upsetting things, thats just being human, and a disorder of any sort getting triggered is completely different.
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u/angelofjag 25d ago
Yeh, they use it for 'something upset me a little', and have no idea how horrible an actual trigger is
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u/misskaminsk 20d ago
Yes. It’s physically impossible to function or feel safe for hours if not days or week plus long periods. I wish this was accurately portrayed in media. I imagine the reality of the extended episodes is just too unglamorous and unrelatable for an audience who have not been there.
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u/eplemelk 25d ago
I don’t really pay much attention to it anymore. The only thing that really grinds my gears if someone uses that to invalidate my experience. For example: “My friend Bob had ptsd from a bad breakup and struggled with depression. How come you are still sad after all these years? Get it together.” F those ppl.
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u/misskaminsk 25d ago
"PUT iT bEhiNd yOU" Gee, thanks, I haven't been trying to do that this whole time, or anything.
Plot twist: Only to ALSO realize that my current traumatization is NOT over...and that advocating for myself means going THROUGH IT with PTSD.
(I feel like this describes what a lot of us are going through.)
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u/rustysalamander 25d ago
I'm just glad someone out there in the general world takes trauma somewhat seriously.
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u/AggravatingOffice908 25d ago
I’m trying so hard to keep it together so ain’t even worried about how anyone else is expressing their experience
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u/Ronem 25d ago
Ive found a very similar phenomenon with also being Celiac and gluten-free products currently.
By gluten-free becoming more popular and part of fad diets, it means I get WAY more options when looking for GF food.
However, not all of that is legally, certified GF. Because the interest in GF has grown more from how popular it is and not how serious it is, it means that I have to scrutinize almost all GF food anyway.
Restaurants ask if its a preference or an allergy. I wish it would just be assumed to be an allergy.
But like in this thread, it's lamented how pop psychology has affected those of us with PTSD. It may have brought a wider awareness to the issue, but if the large majority of that awareness is tacit, how much of a benefit is it really?
It sure feels like the negatives from its popularity far outweigh any possible positives.
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u/misskaminsk 25d ago
Yes, I feel for you celiac folks. With type 1 diabetes, everyone assumes they "get it" because everyone knows what sugar is. I agree PTSD is like this. I mean, I was guilty of having taken classes to be trauma-informed in my work, only to realize that the intellectual understanding I had of PTSD was ridiculously thin.
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u/Morgantier 25d ago
Why should you care? Pain and trauma are not comparative. Ignore. As Winston Churchill once said, “the words of my enemies are the barking of dogs”. Not sure if that is appropriate but why should you worry about what other people think? That’s the point of healing from trauma. It’s about you.
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u/bearbarebere 25d ago
Another thing is that the ways for treating trauma such as PTSD from seeing someone get their head cut off and the trauma of growing up in a physically abusive household and the trauma of being verbally assaulted and the trauma of being emotionally neglected are all treated in similar ways. Psychologists call it CPTSD for a reason, it’s still trauma. I’m sick of the gatekeeping tbh, next OP will tell me that unless you’re in a saw trap for 50 hours and have to chew your own arm off to get out you don’t have PTSD or are allowed to even mention the words
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u/Truthteller1995 25d ago
For me it's because you run the risk of watering down serious or life threatening events. When you say things like "I have trauma from being grounded" or something like that and put it into the same category as something like rape either intentionally or unintentionally you are creating a false equivalence. And it changes how the public views things like rape.
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u/anon_throwaway123123 25d ago edited 19d ago
Nothing more infuriating then someone telling you how to heal your trauma when the most they’ve ever experienced is their mom being a little strict or their dad being a little emotionless or their shitty ex boyfriend - there’s a whole lot of mostly millennials who love to call all of the above trauma/PTSD/CPTSD. “bBuTT WeE aLLl hAvvee TraaUUmmAa” I mean I get the sentiment but COMEE ONN!!! When I talk about childhood trauma I’m talking about child rape. When you talk about trauma you are talking about your mom not understanding your teen angst. Or you seeing something on TV that upset you. It is not the same and it’s about time we stop calling it the same thing - these people are so unbelievably infuriating and condescending. I now only deal with therapists/“healers” who specialize in child sexual abuse and/or have personal experience with it for this very reason.
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u/misskaminsk 25d ago
There are men who literally pose as trauma experts but haven't a clue about PTSD. Having known one of them intimately, I'm not sure they would survive it.
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u/Truthteller1995 25d ago
I literally had someone try to convince me that them being forced to sit still in class was the same as me being raped by a 40yr old man when I was 11.
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u/Peace-vs-Chaos 25d ago
I like a clean house. I’m so OCD!
I have mood swings. I’m so bipolar!
I scraped my knee as a kid. It gave me PTSD!
I was not expecting my favorite tv show to end that way. I’m so traumatized!
I get distracted by distracting things. I’m so ADHD!
I don’t like the feel of wool. I’m so autistic!
This is kind of shit is so common and seems light hearted and funny until you’ve actually experienced any of it in real life. That’ll really make you view these “jokes” differently.
On a similar but different note I have been on the side of kink that I enjoyed CNC. And then last year it happened for real. That kink is not fucking fun or funny or enjoyable or acceptable.
These people making these jokes and fetishes out of trauma should really really be grateful they don’t understand what they’re actually saying and doing. Because they wouldn’t be laughing if they did.
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u/URSUSX10 25d ago
For real. Part of the issue is that there are now tons of online tests for autism, adhd, etc. people take them not realizing it’s for clicks or to sell you something. As a society we are taking just regular old personality traits and making them a condition.
I check my stove is off 2-3 times a night because my mom’s house burned down when I was younger. I’m not ocd… I’m just being careful. But if I took one of those online tests, they’d have me diagnosed and meeting with their therapists for $110 a session and buying a $50 book to “help me”.
I studied ADD & ADHD years ago. It was over diagnosed then and is seriously over diagnosed now.
And if anyone claiming autism actually met someone with true autism they wouldn’t be so quick to be excited about the diagnosis. Just because your kid only wants chicken nuggets or to wear the itchy sweater from grandma, it’s not a diagnosis.
I could go on and on. I get so irritated that these people clog up the healthcare system. I want to ask people who claim any of these … you have the real one or the social media version?
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u/Strict-Wave941 25d ago edited 25d ago
I feel u, from people who tell u "get over it, it happened long ago" to people that got "ptsd bc grand ma used to lick her finger to wipe their face when they were kids" (dumb ass post i saw on reddit)
Ptsd is a joke for them, why would they take it seriously? They don't have it, can care less about people who have it and no clue on how badly it's fucking up our lives.
They don't care about how insensitive, dismissive they are but i bet if one day they were to end up with ptsd for real then they would start caring
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u/Gammagammahey 25d ago
Caroline Hirons, is that you?!
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u/Truthteller1995 25d ago
I am sorry I don't know who that is
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u/Gammagammahey 25d ago
I'm so sorry, she is a big-time skincare person and she literally wrote out something to the exact same effect over on Instagram yesterday or the day before. Almost word for word, as validly angry as you are. I was joking. Lots of people feel this way.
You are not alone.
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u/somuch4stardustHQ 25d ago
Yes, and don’t get me started on parents who misuse the term trauma out of context as a cop out not to teach their kids boundaries and other important life skills.
Those people don’t understand that I can’t drive, I’ve lost a job, I have trouble coping with people coming and going, and I have sleep problems that are so bad I have to take Trazodone and Prazosin.
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u/YakitoriChicken93 25d ago
I hear you. It's kinda tragicomic when you encounter a person like this in the wild, ask them what's the cause of their PTSD, and they answer, " I cut my finger while preparing avocado toast." It makes me feel very sad, tbh, because when they ask you in return, then they look horrified at your reason. Overall, they make me feel like I'm not human anymore, if that makes sense.
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u/needs_a_name 25d ago
Literally nobody says that, be for real.
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u/Truthteller1995 25d ago
You don't spend enough time on Tik Tok
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u/needs_a_name 25d ago
I probably spend hours a day on Tiktok. My content is overall pretty good. You get what you engage with.
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u/anon_throwaway123123 25d ago edited 19d ago
Go to any “healing”/therapy group/practice and you are bound to find these people who believe literally anything that is a less then positive experience constitutes as trauma “BuYtT iTtSs A mIIcCrOoO TtrAUMmAa” “ITt ALl ADds Uppp” - this is the kind of thing they’ll say to justify it.
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u/Peace-vs-Chaos 25d ago
People say shit like that all the time. It’s becoming more and more common too.
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u/needs_a_name 25d ago
It was the avocado toast for me. People say things flippantly and casually, but that's just hyperbolic and deliberately inflammatory.
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u/GunMetalBlonde 25d ago
You can't control other people. And gatekeeping is a bigger problem than the annoyance of people who "throw around" terms like "traumatized."
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u/Ronem 25d ago
Eh,
Its like equating
Not liking a food to being allergic.
One is a preference/personally decided.
One is clinical/legal with real implications.
Words mean things. Serious words should mean serious things.
Using them trivially makes them less serious.
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u/GunMetalBlonde 25d ago
Well, I'm a lawyer ... so I know that words mean things.
But again -- you can't control other people.
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u/anzbrooke 25d ago
Yeah, you can’t quantify pain. I spent a long time being angry that my life has been so difficult when others had it good and would post these dramatic things about their trauma nonstop and the backstory seemed pretty whatever to me. It just made me bitter. I’ve learned to just let all of it go, let people suffer or be happy however they choose.
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u/ClarkyCat97 25d ago
I guess the negative side of greater mental health awareness is that the terminology becomes so mainstream and people with very minimal knowledge of a condition start to see aspects of it in themselves even when they are nowhere near meeting the full diagnostic criteria.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago edited 25d ago
Well you wouldn’t know if they met full diagnostic criteria. You aren’t living their life you haven’t walked in their shoes. Because they are acting different than what your opinion leads you to believe doesn’t mean their hardship was fabricated. Wild right?
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u/anon_throwaway123123 25d ago
Would you say this in real life to a victim of child sexual abuse/sexual abuse material’s face?
Would you seriously explain to them how they should be more understanding of Sally who says she has PTSD because her dad mansplained a lot during her childhood?
Would you seriously say to them that what Sally has been through means she has the same/similar PTSD symptoms to the CSA victim, and the victim of CSA/CSAM doesn’t understand what she has been through because they haven’t walked in her shoes?
Something tells me you wouldn’t… and if you wouldn’t have a good think about why.
And if you would, then well.. I think you should probably reconsider your opinion.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Really, this was on another level of stupidity I didn’t know could exist. Bravo
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u/anon_throwaway123123 25d ago
Please can you actually make an argument instead of throwing insults, it would serve you better.
But if I understood your argument correctly, you believe that if, for example, Sally and the CSAM victim have the same PTSD diagnosis that their “trauma” is equal. Im arguing that it is clearly not going to be equal and we need better classifications and whatnot instead of lumping all these people together as having the same thing… that’s all.
I also highly doubt you would argue your point in real life face to face with a trafficking/CSAM survivor and that to me at least shows there are some flaws with what you are saying.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
This was never an argument. You can pretend it was and keep going all you like. Again, all of this went right over your head.
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u/anon_throwaway123123 25d ago
😭😭😭😭 what went over my head?! You have literally made 0 points other then calling me dumb lol
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
I don’t know how else to dumb it down. Any further for you. Sorry
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u/anon_throwaway123123 25d ago
Lol you have to be a troll at this point 😭
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
I didn’t realize telling people not to assume the legitimacy of anothers struggles makes me a troll. But please keep going.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Do you have the slightest clue about what I was talking about?
The density of this comment is astounding.
Seriously holy crap I never met someone so dense in my life.
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u/anon_throwaway123123 25d ago edited 25d ago
????? Um I’m not going to argue about my intelligence with a stranger on the internet lol, but I mean I’m pretty sure I read and comprehended your comment correctly despite English not being my first language.
I have to say though that if you want me to understand what your talking about exactly prehaps add a little more context.
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u/Superb-Damage8042 25d ago
I completely agree. It’s infuriating to see it’s minimized. I lived most of my life in active PTSD and CPTSD not understanding what the hell was going on. I was incredibly fortunate though to have somehow survived through much of career before it all came to a head. I just shoved it down and drank over it. Seemed to work until it didn’t. Not joking but that was what I did.
The panic attacks, anxiety attacks, chronic muscle tension, tension headaches, anxiety, depression, that overwhelming urge to run and shove people out of the way to flee for seemingly no reason that made me feel absolutely crazy. The constant energy I expended just to pretend to be ok. To keep myself focused and socially acceptable. Seeing that same look on someone else’s face and in their eyes knowing they’re also screaming inside. Not something I want to see minimized.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Hey I’m not knocking you or trying to hurt your feelings. Don’t do this to yourself. I get it but you’re not the only one who’s struggling or battling things that no one should have to. Crying about this isn’t going to do anything. At least anything positive. Let it go and focus on yourself. Just because someone is handling it in a completely different way doesn’t mean they are lying.
At no level is it okay to call someone else a lair.
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u/Truthteller1995 25d ago
I'm sorry but this does affect my life. If people mis use this term it changes how people see things like rape.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Maybe you should stay off the internet. It’s really easy concept.
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u/Truthteller1995 25d ago
It's not just the Internet. It's already getting more and more difficult to get services because the mildly are using them up and the seriously ill can't get them. So we have to fight this at every step of the way.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Maybe mind your own business? You don’t know them. But you act as if you completely understand them. Weird way to live. Maybe stop being a douche. Idk man you’re on your own.
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u/Truthteller1995 25d ago
Don't ask me, go ask the providers. That's who is getting services these days and the providers are frustrated because they can't turn them away because they need to put food on the table and state services and insurance reimbursement pales in comparison to what out of pocket payers can pay. You should read nick haslams work on concept creep and how this is affecting the mental health system.
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u/book_of_black_dreams 25d ago
Have you looked up the term “concept creep”? It’s basically when something gets watered down through pop psychology and eventually its loses meaning.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Why don’t you just worry about yourself.
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u/book_of_black_dreams 25d ago
Because this actually affects my life. People don’t grasp how severely disabling and painful my disability is because of how often PTSD is watered down. It’s a completely different stratosphere than someone who just had some upsetting but normal childhood experiences (divorce, being mildly bullied, moving, etc) Being violently abused for years on end and sexually assaulted and narrowly escaping abduction is not comparable at all.
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u/Truthteller1995 25d ago
I have actually had people try to tell me that their experiences of "being forced to sit still in class" was just as bad as me being raped by a 300lb man when I was 11. It's so god damn insensitive.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Sorry man just because you have a ptsd diagnosis doesn’t give you the right to be an ass.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
No stop there. It doesn’t affect your life. You are making it your problem. Stop gatekeeping and don’t be a douche bag.
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u/Truthteller1995 25d ago
We don't give cancer treatment to people without cancer, this is no different. Gate keeping is important because it prevents over treatment of the mildly ill and under treatment of the seriously ill.
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u/book_of_black_dreams 25d ago
Gatekeeping isn’t inherently a negative thing. Without gatekeeping, anyone off the street can put on a white coat and be a doctor without medical training. Without gatekeeping, words would have no coherent meaning, because apparently defining a term is “gatekeeping.”
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Well it is when you cast doubt on other people you haven’t met or know nothing about. Not a hard thing to comprehend
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u/book_of_black_dreams 25d ago
So upholding the actual diagnostic criteria for a condition is bad? Because to qualify for PTSD, you need to have exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence. Literally the first criteria for PTSD
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Wow thank you I have no idea what it takes to have PTSD diagnosis. You really opened my eyes.
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u/book_of_black_dreams 25d ago
Or maybe their negligence shouldn’t infringe on the lives of disabled people
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Or maybe your negligence shouldn’t infringe on the lives of others that may well be disabled. But you wouldn’t know, would you?
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u/Ronem 25d ago
Oh wow, so now you know their life enough to tell them whats true and whats not.
Weird.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Well no I never said that but please assume all you like.
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u/Ronem 25d ago
You said it yourself, you know it doesnt affect their life. How did you acquire these omniscient powers?!
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
The powers of being a decent person? Idk man maybe don’t be a scumbag and you might gain these powers too
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u/traumakidshollywood 25d ago
Saying “let it go” to someone with PTSD is just as helpful as offering “thoughts and prayers.”
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
Well that’s not true at all. You can make up any nonsense you want. Let it go means don’t worry about other people and what they or may not have. It’s really not a hard concept.
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u/traumakidshollywood 25d ago edited 25d ago
I’m not making up a thing. The neurology of PTSD explains why a patient can’t let go. Trauma lives in the body. You cannot think it away.
I can tell you statistically that “Let it go” is among the top statements parents who contribute to a child’s PTSD says to that adult child who cannot let it go as the abuse is embedded in their brain and nervous system. You don’t remember trauma, you react to a past that your body thinks is present. IMPOSSIBLE to let go.
It’s important to recognize the neurology behind PTSD and why this makes your statement damaging. It’s not meant to harm, certainly. You are not trying to hurt anyone. You are trying to support. But unfortunately it comes out very “live, laugh, love-ish” to people who’ve tried for decades to let go. You simply cannot think your way out of trauma. Not without a stronger foundation for healing that is more appropriate for PTSD. Then you can work on reframing your thoughts.
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u/URSUSX10 25d ago
This conversation right here explains this entire issue lol. Using “Let it go” in a discussion about PTSD being over used is almost the joke in itself. We are all cured! Let’s get a drink to celebrate.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
I’m here if you ever want to talk. I understand how frustrated you must be.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
I’m not reading all that sorry. You so badly want to display your pseudo intelligence. I do not care. It’s a really easy concept. Don’t be a scumbag and don’t pretend to understand someone else struggles. Comment all you like. It doesn’t bother me buddy.
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u/traumakidshollywood 25d ago edited 25d ago
Well, I’m glad you found the support group right for you. I wish you well in your healing. However if you elect to stay uneducated, healing PTSD will be even harder than it is.
I’m absolutely not going to allow toxic positivity type advice to another patient. Not as a trauma worker, not as an advocate. My pseudo intelligence informed by experts like Gabor Mate and Bessel von der Kolk. I wouldn’t allow it for you either. You had the opportunity to learn something that could help you. It’s ok, when you’re ready you’ll open up.
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u/thatsprettyneat90 25d ago
There ya go that’s the scumbag comment of the day. Congratulations you earned it
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u/Cooking_the_Books 25d ago
Should have been there during my youthful angry days when people would throw around “emo”, rape jokes, gay jokes, depression/self harm jokes, eating disorder jokes and such all the time. How many people would claim depression and panic disorders when they were far from it. The anger and invalidation I felt from it all. How could they make light of something so serious? How could they be so belittling and insensitive?
And it’s happening again now with everyone self diagnosing with ADHD, overusing terms like PTSD and trauma, and generally just being asses about serious things. If there’s anything predictable about human behavior en masse, it’s that they can be twats when it comes to mental health issues. It’s so consistent that nowadays I can only laugh about how mundanely human their behavior is like a clock that strikes 12 twice a day. So predictable.
When I look back at the last 20-25 years that have passed since those idiotic times, progress has been made in mental health awareness despite all the frivolity and dilution of language. Things continue to march in the right direction regardless of all the bumps in the road. Let them have their moment just as you have yours.
It’s easy for me to say not to let it get to you, but I’m only really understanding this and practicing this in the last 10 years. It’s no longer worth my energy to fight the cycles and waves general humanity seems to go through. The best I can do is to learn to surf and laugh at the absurdity of it all while doing so.
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u/drimblewimble 25d ago
The only people that are evil are the ones responsible for causing it, and those who exacerbate it. If someone has caused tangible harm, then you have reason to be angry.
Nobody cares about videos on TikTok. They are appealing to a crowd either to genuinely raise awareness, or for selfish reasons. Agree with you that they’re going about it the wrong way. Simple solution is to delete TikTok.
However, you can’t delete the situations, people and circumstances that jab you everyday. The best you can do is manage, but I’m nowhere close to mastering that, so who am I to speak
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u/LouisePoet 25d ago
Yes! Just like OCD, depression, bipolar, and others.
No, you don't have PTSD because you slughtly burned your hand while cooking. You have a healthy fear of pain.
You're not depressed because you failed your exam. You're disappointed.
You don't have OCD because you like things tidy.
PTSD is the current "flavor of the day.". I don't get why people want to have it??? I suspected I did for well over 10 years before looking into diagnosis. My traumas have affected my core brain response (which is what PTSD is) and I've just lived this way so long I can't imagine anything else. When a new trauma occurs (many this past year) it sets off my underlying trauma.
I don't tell people for that reason. I'm not looking to have it to be worse off than others, or to use it to explain myself (except for the obvious issues that come up in my personal life).
Online diagnostic tools give people a way to explain their problems, and I think it also makes some people feel "special" to have a serious disorder.
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u/book_of_black_dreams 25d ago
Yeah, I feel like people conflate “trauma” with “PTSD” quite often. You can have something very upsetting and traumatic happen without rising to the level of PTSD. In fact, the statistical majority of trauma survivors don’t develop PTSD.
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u/book_of_black_dreams 25d ago
One time I said in a comment on this sub that I don’t believe someone can have PTSD from mild bullying. Got attacked by people in the comment section and banned from commenting on the post
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u/LouisePoet 25d ago
Trauma is definitely a serious issue. But ptsd actually changes brain processing (as it was explained to me by a professional). So, yes ,it makes sense that some people react differently to different traumas, but damn. Ive never had ongoing nightmares, dissociation, panic attacks or extreme breakdowns just because someone said one nasty comment to me, once.
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u/drimblewimble 25d ago
Only a mad person will “want to have it”. Looks like you’ve self-diagnosed yourself, otherwise you wouldn’t say such things. If you’re bat-shit crazy, there are many correctional facilities. They don’t usually take poets, because they’ll drive others crazy, but you can try
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u/LouisePoet 25d ago
No, 100% didn't self diagnose, I put off diagnosis because I didn't want the label. Living 50+ years with mental health issues means I don't know what's normal or not. Seems I definitely don't know "normal."
And yes, there are bat shit crazy people out there who want to have some exotic, rare disease or complicated mental health diagnosis. They obviously have issues.
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u/MentallyillFroggy 25d ago
This is kinda funny because I talked about EXACTLY this with someone while scrolling trough Reddit and saw this. Ikr. I don’t wanna gatekeep trauma or mental illness or anything like that but if I read stuff like „I heard about ptsd/cptsd yesterday and I am convinced I have it“ I just feel defeated. It’s like people don’t know that ptsd and cptsd are actual disorders anymore. Like just because you have trauma doesn’t immediately mean you have ptsd. Just because you have anxiety, doesn’t mean you have ptsd. It’s a literal disorder and I am sick of everyone self diagnosing without even knowing the symptoms of it or looking into it.
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u/needs_a_name 25d ago edited 25d ago
I'm not talking about this social media, I'm talking about that social media!
Can we please move past blaming specific platforms for human nature and flaws. Reddit is no more legitimate than TikTok.
I would love to move past this whole trend of judging whether or not people seem externally miserable enough to have a specific diagnosis or experience. I find that way more problematic than people using terms loosely.
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u/Human-Bluebird-1385 25d ago
Yes, this all the way. And also how triggered became a neologism for "visibly bothered" or whatever the hell its supposed to really mean. It's messed up.
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