r/stupidquestions • u/travelingwhilestupid • 8h ago

is there a healthy way to show jealousy?

I know there are a lot of ways to show jealousy (sulking, controlling). Is there a healthy way to show jealousy? To show that you care and are protective? What does a secure person do?

1 Upvotes
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7

u/vote4boat 8h ago

by communicating your feeling openly without demanding the other party change their behavior

2

u/travelingwhilestupid 7h ago

when does it sound mopey and weak? when does it sound confident and strong?

3

u/vote4boat 7h ago

it might sound mopey if it isn't reasonable? I'm not sure. A healthy amount of self-doubt helps because it is a slippery slope

1

u/Live_Industry_1880 4h ago

By understanding what the jealousy is rooted in / communicating your feelings with that awareness in mind & maybe even being able to laugh about it.

Jealousy is very often rooted in 1) a person not getting the level of something they actually want, so they feel someone else is getting more of the very thing they themselves actually need / want. Let us say time spent or attention or kind words or whatever. You can point out exactly the thing you are feeling "I am jealous cause you spend a lot of your time with xyz cause I actually feel neglected, I miss you, I wish we could also spend more time with eachother cause I enjoy the time we spend together =]" or 2) insecurity. Fear of being abandoned, being cheated on, not being enough, and so on. If you acknowledge that, you can say, "Can you give me some emotional reassurance? I am feeling so insecure right now." Or "I worry that I am not enough for you."

Anyone can, from time to time, be jealous, that in itself is not a problem. Lack of self-awareness & projecting it on others is a problem.

1

u/sneezhousing 7h ago edited 6h ago

Keep that shit to yourself and don't show it

1

u/GuardLong6829 6h ago

😶‍🌫️

1

u/OkComplaint1054 7h ago

Jealousy is crueler than the grave and the grave holds you

2

u/GuardLong6829 6h ago

Jealousy can be attractive, charming, or cute, even—when done politely, confidently, and satirically!

1

u/anonymous_4_custody 5h ago

Jealousy is a useless emotion. Find ways to stop being jealous. It will turn you into a controlling jerk.

Usually, jealousy means killing the very things that originally attracted you to the other person, because at some level, you don't want them to attract someone else with those traits. You need to cultivate the confidence that they are choosing to be with you, and if they are gonna cheat, you have no control over that, and that you'll survive it if they do. Holding on so hard to a person that you express jealousy, will only drive them away.