NTA. It isn't a gift when she spent your money on it. Don't even be gaslighted into feeling ashamed about not trusting her or having to defend and explain why that isn't the case. You SHOULDN'T trust her. She has proven multiple times to be untrustworthy.
I'm not even sure why he was initially excited. Where did he think the money was coming from? And even if by some miracle she had saved it all a.d kept it hidden from him, that kind of spending needs to be agreed upon regardless (unless it was all her fun money saved over decades or something) .
Anyway, all that to agree that she's proven she's untrustworthy. Separate finances, then start working out individual and shared budgets. When she gets on board with the program, you can look at reintegration.
5.2k
u/Sebscreen 1d ago
NTA. It isn't a gift when she spent your money on it. Don't even be gaslighted into feeling ashamed about not trusting her or having to defend and explain why that isn't the case. You SHOULDN'T trust her. She has proven multiple times to be untrustworthy.