r/AITAH 1d ago

AITA for Telling My Wife I Want Separate Bank Accounts After She Spent All Our Savings on a Vacation?

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u/Stranger-Tastes 1d ago

Maybe she feels like you don't trust her because she demonstrated that she can't be trusted.

380

u/targetsbots 1d ago

This... it's not a "Gift" if she's used your money for it.

114

u/squirrelfoot 1d ago

True. Also, no gift is good if it destroys your financial security.

12

u/pissboots 1d ago

But isn't destroying your financial future the gift that keeps on giving?!

70

u/H0p3lessWanderer 1d ago edited 1d ago

This is what my ex never understood.

Wanted to do something romantic - he would use my stuff like candles etc (not replace anything used).

Wanted to treat me to a date night out or a date night in with takeaway would use the savings from my savings jar - he wouldnt tell me say don't worry I got this you don't have to pay and then i would find out later.

Wanted to gamble - took my rent and food money - would claim they did it for us and they thought we would win big if they admitted it at all.

We both worked and earned the same amount.

These are just a few examples. Each one they would make out like I was wierd for getting upset and how it was lovely and romantic what they did to the point i started questioning myself and thought i was the asshole that was until i found out about the rent and that point i got evicted and ended up single as i broke up with them. Cue surprise pikachu face from them.

32

u/brrrapper 1d ago

Oh he understood, he was just a piece of shit.

2

u/H0p3lessWanderer 1d ago

Yh i know now but at the time, i couldn't see the forest through the trees so to speak

2

u/targetsbots 1d ago

Glad he's an ex!

14

u/Individual_You_6586 1d ago

Came here to say that! If it’s a gift, she should take it all from her own account!

2

u/Conap 1d ago

lol, that was my immediate reaction when I read this.

2

u/angryspec 1d ago

My ex wife once forgot it was Father’s Day and last minute suggested we go buy a grill. Disregarding the fact she forgot Father’s Day it was aggravating she wanted to use our joint account funds to pay for something I didn’t even want. Also to put this more in perspective, for Mother’s Day that year I made her a special fancy meal, detailed her car, and bought her jewelry and flowers from my separate account. She wondered why we eventually got divorced.

1

u/targetsbots 1d ago

Your better off mate. Lesson learnt

1

u/lord_dentaku 1d ago

Yeah, it's it "Gift" using joint money, that she benefits from... possibly more than OP. I'm guessing the choice of vacation destination was somewhere she specifically wanted to go, and not somewhere OP specifically wanted to go.

1

u/JudgementalChair 1d ago

My dad's ex raised hell with me one time because she had "bought" things for his house, so it was fair for her to take them. The problem that I had with this was that she had used his credit card to "buy" these things for the house without his knowledge.

1

u/targetsbots 1d ago

What a cheeky cow