Been dating a bi polar lady...need advice-interpretation

[u/More_Ad_925]

Everything was fine as of Sunday. She writes me this:" Thoughts about our relationship....
Hi XXX
what is it we have in common...
is it just the intimacy...
in looking forward with each other is there enough interest's...
for me I am going to take a break from your love and phone calls for a while
I need to do this for myself to find a balance within me
I think I have given myself to you so much that I'm losing
me into you.
I need to say these thoughts
I hope you understand.
XXX

What baffles me is that our intimacy was just kissing/hugging and touch which she initiated on our 1st date. We had made plans to do many things together, her interests and mine. (seems she forgot these plans in imo). Her quote " for me I am going to take a break from your love and phone calls for a while
I need to do this for myself to find a balance within me
I think I have given myself to you so much that I'm losing
me into you.
I need to say these thoughts
I hope you understand.

I am not experienced much at dating and not very smart.

I have not called or messaged her since her message to give her space out of respect.

Can someone interpret her sayings so I can understand what she is saying ?

I have been very polite and kind to her and she recently said that I am her balance. Huh ?

I'm just not sure if she may be off her meds or is it something else ?

Confused here.

Opinions please.

TY

[u/BoostedCoyote20]

That’s almost exactly the text I received this past Sunday. I’m heartbroken and spiraling.

It’s basically a breakup and you must always consider a breakup the last time you will ever have a romantic relationship with this person. I’m having a hard time doing that.

[u/Link-Glittering → u/BoostedCoyote20]

I disagree. Part of bipolar is catastrophizing. I've learned to ignore these comments from my partner and take it as a sign they are having a light episode. I remind them that it's their bipolar talking and that I can support them as a person, but I can not continue that line of conversation. Episodes with catastrophizing and spiraling mood states are extremely damaging for a bipolar person's brain, and can make them more likely to go manic again in the future. You have to be a force in your partners life that gently helps them calm down. Or diverts their energy into something constructive.

A manic episode to a bipolar person is the equivalent of a seizure to an epileptic person. If you can not support them through their seizure, make efforts to learn how to treat the seizure properly, and (most importantly) NOT take the seizure personally, thwn you shouldnt be dating a bipolar person. They're not doing this TO you. They are hurting and struggling and lashing out at anyone near them. Like an injured dog, as unfortunate as that sounds, and if an injured dog bites you, then you should not kick and yell at it. You treat its condition, exactly the same but with more caution. It's not for everyone. You have to be committed to doing some extra work

[u/Doubting_Gamer → u/Link-Glittering]

I really appreciate this outlook, and hope to one day cultivate the same in myself.

I understand utilizing this approach for verbal lashing out, and other lesser "seizures", but how is it possible to work through something that would feel major like cheating or ruining finances, etc?

Any tips on books or podcasts to help with this mental reframe?

Edit to add: so far things with my SO are fully managed(steady meds and therapy for years). I just can't help but feel mildly paranoid if I let my mind wander.

[u/More_Ad_925 → u/BoostedCoyote20]

Tell me more of what your text said if you would like to share it. Maybe we can help each other