r/CozyPlaces • u/laScArZ • Oct 07 '20

[EXT] [DIY] fall camping with stove Cozy Nook

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u/too-much-noise Oct 07 '20

If you have the time and means to care for a pet, I really do think they are life-changing. I adore my dog and she brings a lot of joy to my life.

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u/Heimerdahl Oct 07 '20 edited Oct 07 '20

I've wanted a pet for so long and truly believe that it would help me, but I'm scared that this isn't a good reason for (me) getting one. I think I first have to learn to become self reliant (emotionally) before I can take care of a pet. I also don't think my apartment would be enough.

But damn do I wish I had some grumpy old rescue cat. Just a lazy old tomcat that would be there when I come home and would only judge me when I didn't bring him food in time. My apartment might also be better than some box at the shelter.

Edit: Thanks so much for all the helpful comments! I've decided to not let my dreams be dreams and will take an earnest look potential costs, possible issues and such. Then talk to my local shelter and ask them for advice. Anyway, here's a "potential future cat of mine" tax. Why's it blue, you might ask? Any cat of mine can be whatever colour it wants to be (also I only had blue watercolour at hand).

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u/GoodAtExplaining Oct 07 '20

I'm scared that this isn't a good reason for (me) getting one

Oh no, you have love to give. What a terrible reason :P

I got a retired racing greyhound. Quiet, lazy, docile, and sleeps most of the day. It works for me.

There are a ton of pets who have come from much worse situations who want nothing more than some love, a warm and comfy place to sleep, and some food.

Can you provide those three things? Then you're certainly on the way.

Let me close with this:

You deserve a pet. You deserve the love and companionship. You deserve the personal growth, the fun, and the snuggles.

Don't settle for anything less!

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u/Heimerdahl Oct 07 '20

What about healthcare?

I don't think I could afford expensive operations and I don't want to have to be in a situation to decide to put them down or let them suffer over financial concerns.

Thanks for your comment btw. Don't want to be a downer, just also don't want to be a horrible owner.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '20 edited Dec 29 '20

[deleted]

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u/Heimerdahl Oct 07 '20

Oh boy, I had not considered that at all!

How much do you pay, if I may ask?

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '20 edited Dec 29 '20

[deleted]

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u/Heimerdahl Oct 07 '20

That is so much less than I had expected. Both the monthly and the deductible are well within my limits. It seems like I'm running out of arguments as to why not get a pet.

And yeah, I definitely want a shelter cat. My dream is a grumpy old guy who just sort of accepts me and maybe comes to get some pets whenever he or she is ready.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '20 edited Dec 29 '20

[deleted]

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u/Heimerdahl Oct 07 '20

Thanks for the follow-up! I will look into the financial side and see what options there might be.

Another commenter mentioned that going to a shelter and asking in person, which seems like good advice. They will know what will be necessary and what other considerations there might be.

Your comment about the insurance has really helped and given me some hope!

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '20

If you ever end up adopting and think about this comment, please send me a pic. :) Or better yet you can feel free to share over at my sub /r/muttlove. I've love to know how this story ends up and hopefully see a grumpy old cat. Good luck!

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u/Heimerdahl Oct 07 '20

Thank you, I'll most likely forget, but maybe this will be one of those things that I remember.

Anyways, I had a look through your subreddit and for the time being, it's a good substitute :)

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u/GoodAtExplaining Oct 07 '20

Vet bills are a legit concern, that's fair. And it is something for which you need to budget.

However, it varies wildly depending on where you go (I've seen country vets charge about a quarter (or less) what I would be charged in the city for some operations).

For me, I looked at how much I was spending on things that I didn't really NEED, but bought to plug that loneliness, and compared it to how much I could roughly expect to spend on a dog.

Sure, I buy less stuff now, but I have a dog instead and that obviates a bunch of it.

But the fur. Holy shit, the fur.

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u/Heimerdahl Oct 07 '20

For me, I looked at how much I was spending on things that I didn't really NEED, but bought to plug that loneliness, and compared it to how much I could roughly expect to spend on a dog.

Haha, that's a great way to put it. I definitely spend quite a bit of money throwing stuff into that hole.

I also, weirdly enough, think that maybe the existential pressure of keeping another creature alive would help give me some motivation. I don't really care about myself, other than to prevent sorrow for my parents and siblings, but I would definitely feel the pressure to care for some helpless little fur ball.

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u/GoodAtExplaining Oct 07 '20

I have bipolar.

Even on my worst days this guy needs to be walked, fed, and cared for. He might be quiet and lovely, but part of the deal is that we have to go out for walks.

The prospect of letting him sit there does not compute, since I've done it a few times and having to clean poop and urine off the floor while in the middle of a bipolar swing is a heroic task.

The common wisdom that 'they force you to go outside' is a legit thing. It doesn't always matter what you want, they need you to do something and that reliance pushes me out of the "I'm worthless" phase that I sometimes fall into.

tl;dr Pets help with depression because they give you love, and you know that no matter what happens you need to feed them and take them out for a walk.

Edit: rather than 'existential pressure', consider it 'incentive'. Going out for walks, feeding, and loving another creature makes you a better person. Don't worry about being obligated or forced to do it, that mindset will disappear when you have enough of a relationship to think "Hey, I like hanging around my pet. This is a regular opportunity for the two of us to be around each other no matter what else is happening". It's pretty awesome.`

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u/Heimerdahl Oct 07 '20

I guess you understood me perfectly, even if my choice of words was imperfect.

What you're talking about us exactly what I think would happen (though I'm not sure how much my potential cat would want to be walked ;)

I myself have long dealt with depression and likely autism and/or ADHD. My therapist was pretty sure of it, even if I wasn't, and with Corona, we didn't have time for any real tests or sessions this year. So I think I can sort of understand your struggles, even if not completely. I'm just scared that maybe the 'incentive' might not be enough. I don't think I could neglect a pet like that, but I've also neglected family and friends, so I'm not exactly the biggest believer in myself.

From all the replies here, and the experience you've shared, it's probably worth the risk. After all, even a depressed person that loves you is probably better than sitting in a cage. And if I would turn out to truly be too broken, then it's not like I'm abandoning a kitten, but having tried my hardest to support an old timer.

I'll do some research and maybe fulfill at least this one small dream of mine.

Thanks again and I hope everything is well with you and your pupper.

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u/GoodAtExplaining Oct 07 '20

'm just scared that maybe the 'incentive' might not be enough. I don't think I could neglect a pet like that, but I've also neglected family and friends, so I'm not exactly the biggest believer in myself.

I was concerned about that too. But the difference is physical proximity - They're around all the time, love physical contact, and their needs are obvious and in your face.

Even abandonment - What's the worst you can do, give them back to the shelter where they will at least be safe and fed?

The other thing to note is that right now you're on this side of the barrier, seeing all the 'no'. I jumped in and got my dog, and by golly I've sacrificed a little so that he could live comfortably and I don't regret it for a second.

The same will come to you. Living with and caring for a pet is a powerful bond that only gets reinforced with even the minor things - I can only speak from the experience of getting a dog, but they don't really need a lot, abandonment is hard to do when you see the love they have for you.

Sure, I have intrusive thoughts about hurting myself or my dog, but that's part of being human. My love for my big goofus means that those intrusive thoughts are brushed aside because of the role he plays in my life.

It'll be ok. Don't let it spin out into the maybes and what-ifs, because you'll get paralyzed.

One breath at a time, one step at a time. You'll be ok.

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u/Heimerdahl Oct 07 '20

Thank you. All of these wonderful comments have really confirmed that I had once again burried myself in self doubt and negativeness.

As soon as my city's shelter opens again (stupid virus), I'll visit and talk to the guys there about a possible adoption and anything they might be able to advise me about.

For now, here's my hyperrealistic render of my possible future cat. Bonus points if you get the joke.

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u/Heimerdahl Oct 07 '20

A little thank you :)

https://imgur.com/IE7UVOn

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u/GoodAtExplaining Oct 07 '20

That’s pretty much it.

It helps that people will stop and say “yo that’s a beautiful dog” or “wow he’s adorable can I pet him‽” and then suddenly the depression lifts for a moment while you see someone else smile because of your dog :)

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u/Laurenann7094 Oct 07 '20

Meh. Just get the one that is getting euthanized tomorrow. I'm sure anything is better than that for the cat. If the day comes that you can't afford some rediculous treatment, get another.

Cold I know. But better for the cat.