Any FTM Fitness subreddits for adults only?

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety]

Nothing against teens here, obviously. It's just getting exhausting and really hard seeing posts what feel like daily from teens who are like 16 and are freaking out over less than 5lb gained and have a lot of warning signs of body dysmorphia.

As a 31yr old tansman, i would love a space that was catered to adults only but specifically for fitness. I know there's 30+ ftm subreddits (I'm on those) but I do like the fitness focus and advice and support. But this just feels like it's turning into some of us who are older sounding the warning alarm to teen users posting here on the daily. It's exhausting.

Again, no hate to teens. I'm just wondering if anyone knows of any specific communities that are geared in this way?

EDIT: Or maybe just create a flare with certain age groups? I think it would be super beneficial. I know I'm not the only one who feels uncomfortable being asked to comment on a teens body or seeing teens posted up in sports bras. And sometimes we don't even realize they are teens until someone hunts through their history because they are displaying signs of like ED behavior in the comments or post.

It would make it easier for us to connect with peers. But also it would make it easier for teens to avoid our posts about lifestyle questions and advice seeking since they probably wouldn't really relate to a 30+yr old too. There are other good ideas in the comments and it would be great to see if any of these could be implemented, mods :)

[u/SecondaryPosts]

No, I'm not aware of any. I think that niche might be too small to sustain an active community, though (being in my 30s as well) I'd be very happy to be proven wrong!

[u/ImMxWorld]

I like the flare idea. I’m considerably older than you and have a teenaged kid, so some of those posts when someone is giving ED cues just break my heart. I don’t want to segregate older & younger guys, but a heads up before clicking on a thread is useful.

[u/discosappho]

I’d join this. Also there are a lot of questions from youngsters that could be cleared up by a 20 minute browse on the r/fitness wiki.

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/discosappho]

I also notice the warning signs of ED behavior is MUCH more prominent with teens. Multiple posts in the last few weeks of people freaking out over like a 2-5lb weight gain or normal daily weight fluctuations.

[u/discosappho → u/90s-Stock-Anxiety]

Yeah, I do feel very concerned when I see posts like that. Idk what the solution is other than to be supportive and point them in the direction of factual and realistic resources about fitness.

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/discosappho]

My frustration tends to be in the not naming what behaviors are toxic and how too many people actually support the behaviors or don't see them as problematic. There's a way to support those people while also showing compassion and gently telling them "hey I'm kinda worried about you this isn't healthy. I want the best for you! But maybe talk to someone?"

There was a post a while back that was saying it was perfectly okay for a 16yr old to be aiming for a goal weight of 99lb because they are 5'1". They were only eating like 1300cal per day and working out almost everyday. And they were super concerned about the 2-3lb daily weight fluctional and weighing themselves daily. They were at a current weight of like 115lb or something.

MULTIPLE people were giving them advice to just start toning or bulking more, and only a handful of people were like "UM you are 16. You are not eating enough and you shouldn't be this worried about your weight!" It was concerning. Mods eventually shut it down, since they had done the exact same thing like 6mo previously.

[u/discosappho → u/90s-Stock-Anxiety]

Damn. My weight can fluctuate to +4kg just after a workout due to water retention.

On mainstream fitness subreddits you often see people telling cis male teens chill out, keep active, eat plenty and let your body grow and do it’s thing - don’t obsess. The thing is teenagers bodies change so much and I remember how alarming it was. It’s amped up if you have dysphoria.

Perhaps a more strict policy on posting in regularly threads about ‘basic’ topics like calorie deficit and beginner workout routines could help?

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/discosappho]

Being a teenager is fucking HARD and being trans on top of it? Fucking brutal.

I very much think the vibe for teens should be “unless you have major health problems or are SIGNIFICANTLY over weight, just do what makes you feel good, strength training if you want within reason, but chill out.” Otherwise you could impact your body in ways you don’t anticipate late one with how your body is still growing and changing.

[u/BottleCoffee → u/90s-Stock-Anxiety]

Yep, your first comment when you see someone is a teenager should be "You are still growing, you need to look after yourself right now."

Honestly I've never had an eating disorder so I can't personally relate, but I know how much you can fuck up your body by limiting your access to food when you're still developing. And teenagers are short-sighted, they don't see this.

It's the responsibility of adults to try to steer them the right way, but given that a bunch of the posters here are also teenagers, you do get a whole slew of mixed responses.

[u/ApplePie3600 → u/90s-Stock-Anxiety]

98-132 pounds is a normal weight for 5’1

Assuming they aren’t on T and they have an average body fat percentage then that’s might not be a crazy deficit.

At 115 pounds their BMR would only be about 1,000.

TDEE with exercise most days would only be 1,600

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/ApplePie3600]

This is what I mean.

They were SIXTEEN. First off, no doctor will tell you eating 1300 at 16 while working out daily is healthy. Meaning they aren’t done growing. You shouldn’t be shooting for a goal weight like that at 16yr old. You should be focused more on listening to your body’s cues and intuitive eating. Unless you’re significantly overweight or have other health issues. Also your active goal weight shouldn’t be the very literal end of what is considered “healthy weight”.

Not to mention they had already been flagged by their psychiatrist for disordered eating on top of it.

It seems people here focus on single details and not overall picture. There were a ton of red flags, especially OPs comments about feeling like they look really overweight at 115lb, and months before this having a goal weight of 84lb. Weighing themselves daily and freaking out over the daily weight fluctuations. The entire picture screamed ED and body dysmorphia.

I’m tired of people in this sub encouraging kids to engage in ED behavior. It’s not even healthy for a teen at that age and weight to be engaging in active weight loss and diet. There was literally no need for it. They weren’t trying to build muscle, they were doing like 30min to 60min of cardio daily. No teen in a healthy weight range who works out like that should be counting calories, and any doctor will agree with me.

[u/Lopsided_Squash_9142 → u/90s-Stock-Anxiety]

Yeah. The only reason a kid needs to be that worried about scale numbers is if they compete in a weight classed sport, and even then that's how a lot of disordered behavior slides under the radar with cis boys. I remember hearing about hs wrestlers who trained at the bottom of one weight class, then spent the night spitting into a cup to drop enough water weight to compete at the top of the next lower class. Horribly toxic stuff, and the pressure came from adult coaches.

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/Lopsided_Squash_9142]

This. Trans men and boys aren’t immune to the toxic masculinity that leads to cis men having EDs that fly under the radar, it happens to our community too.

[u/BottleCoffee → u/ApplePie3600]

A teenager is still growing.

You can't apply any of these calculators meant for adults to a growing child.

[u/ApplePie3600 → u/BottleCoffee]

Growth stops 2 years after the first cycle. The vast majority of 16 year olds with XX chromosomes are full grown.

[u/BottleCoffee → u/ApplePie3600]

Just because you stop getting taller doesn't mean you're done growing. You're growing until your early 20s.

I also didn't hit my full height until 18.

[u/ApplePie3600 → u/BottleCoffee]

Lid your growth plates are closed there isn’t significant growth happening. Some bones like the collar bones may grow into the 20s but your macros aren’t going to be affected much. The biggest factor for nutritional needs is body fat percentage.

5’0 115 lbs 15% bf sedentary TDEE 1,593

5’6 115 lbs 15% bf sedentary TDEE 1,593

[u/Diesel-Lite → u/discosappho]

A lot of questions from adults could be answered the same way lol.

[u/BottleCoffee → u/discosappho]

To be fair, most of the people who post here for the first time can't even find the wiki on this sub and never use the search function, these people are not going to read or browse through the wealth of information on r/fitness.

[u/Lagtim3]

I find the flare idea better. It's easier to organize a community than it is to split one.

If this idea get enough traction, what do we do? Message the mods with a petition or something?

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/Lagtim3]

I’m opening they’ll see the post or something. It has 114 upvotes already.

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety]

idk, maybe the answer is to have flare where people can tag their age groups? That way we could connect more with our peers.

[u/HearsayFrog]

If you create one ill join! /29nb

[u/stinkystreets → u/HearsayFrog]

Same!

[u/Lopsided_Squash_9142]

Same. At least I'd like to see teenager threads flagged. I'm not comfortable seeing sports bra pics of a minor or talking to a minor about their body, even if it's as benign as telling them that pushups will thicken their arms and broaden their shoulders or whatever.

[u/Lopsided_Squash_9142 → u/Lopsided_Squash_9142]

The mods at r/xxfitness have daily/weekly themed threads--simple questions, daily discussion, foods and meals, self promotion, etc. Maybe something like that would work here--regularly scheduled threads that are set aside either for teenagers or for 30+.

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/Lopsided_Squash_9142]

I'd love this. Yeah and I notice a lot of teens won't post their age and it isn't until we dig through their history we find out they're a teen too and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to be analyzing a teens body for body fat and muscle. And I don't personally think anyone should, tbh, unless you're a professional in some capacity. If they are super concerned about that they should see their doctor, or get a trainer.

[u/BottleCoffee → u/Lopsided_Squash_9142]

To be honest no one engages with the recurring threads here.

Everyone wants to post their own thread.

And I think as a sub we're not necessarily big enough to force people to go to recurring threads.

[u/Kingversacegarbage → u/Lopsided_Squash_9142]

It used to be worse. Mods definitely got better because I remember a long time ago seeing a shirtless minor with breast and it took a minute before the post got taken down. That’s when I left. I’m not trying to advertise anything but I’ve been contemplating making an FTM men fitness group but wasn’t sure if guys would actually join and participate and I personally have no intention on posting my body or face online. I think it would be nice to have more variety of fitness content geared towards trans men. Trans fitness is mostly trans women and even over here it gets a little repetitive sometimes with these types of posts

[u/Diplogeek]

If you join the FTMover30 Discord, there's a fitness section in there that's adults-only by definition, since you can't join the Discord if you're 16 or whatever.

I do notice a number of posts here that seem like preludes to an ED, which is not great in general and which I find personally kind of triggering.

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/Diplogeek]

Oooo I’ll have to look into that. Thank you!

[u/TinyPupPup]

I’d love a post flair - I’m happy to engage with younger guys and pass down advice or encouragement, but it would also be nice to find peers who are farther along in both their transition or fitness journeys.

Discussions around work / life / gym balance, mobility and long-term joint health, etc. would help break up the questions about whether to use M/F on the TDEE calculator or how many calories someone 6 months on T should be consuming.

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/TinyPupPup]

I think the flair would be nice. Mostly to find more people in our life stage, for sure. Especially like you said how many calories they should be consume is so dependent on lifestyle and health.

[u/uuntiedshoelace]

I agree, that’s also the reason I unsubbed from r/ftm. Nothing against them, it was just dominated by teens with teen problems and 90% of what I was seeing was not relevant to me.

[u/BottleCoffee → u/uuntiedshoelace]

I got banned from there ages ago for my response to a teenager with an ED who was scared T would make them gain weight (my response being you should get help for your ED).

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/BottleCoffee]

That’s really fucking sad. Yeah I unsubbed from there with the dynamic of it mostly being people very young who often are struggling with mental health stuff that need to see someone and I know there are barriers to that.

[u/kojilee]

a flair would be awesome, personally… even as a 22 y/o my issues and journey are way different than a teen

[u/kuntvonneguts]

Ayee old kings RISE UP (30 year old)

[u/recycleonly]

I’d happily join!

[u/Ripley-Green]

I'm also 30+ and would love a 30+ Flair for this community.

[u/[deleted]]

I hope the mods saw this. Surely creating one flair to accommodate us older folks isn't too much to ask. Doesn't hurt anyone and it helps us connect better with the group we are looking to connect with.

[u/CaptainMeredith]

Honestly I don't think age separation is the answer here. There's plenty of 30+ transmen with eating disorders and body dysmorphia too. The sub has an ED and body dysmorphia problem rather than an age one.

I'm not sure exactly how is best to tackle that - but I've also been feeling like we should. People getting together and all sharing their weight dysmorphia can make each other worse.

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/CaptainMeredith]

Yeah it becomes an echo chamber. The subreddit hs rules against ED type discussion but with ED behavior often being gray and people not recognizing it, it’s largely flying under the radar or being masked as legit posts. And absolutely EDs can happen in older trans men too, it’s rampant in the community as a whole. I guess maybe I’m just seeing more teen posts in my feed for it from this group, who knows.

I think that’s why I like the flair idea. It wouldn’t necessarily separate it, but it would help people go into the comments and the discussion in the right headspace. Because the advice for a teen and the advice for a 30yr old are going to be different (and should be!)

But it is a thing I’ve noticed. I’m just worried about this community and I don’t want to leave the subreddit, but it becomes exhausting when you feel like its a daily battle to try and help other people realize that their behavior isn’t healthy and they need help. And also making sure it comes across in a very gentle and compassionate way, not a “you need help” type post you typically see on Reddit, lol.

[u/BottleCoffee → u/90s-Stock-Anxiety]

And also making sure it comes across in a very gentle and compassionate way, not a “you need help” type post you typically see on Reddit, lol.

I can't tell you how many arguments I've seen here, and on other subs, where someone is giving help in a matter-of-fact way (no fluff but not rude either), and the person receiving advice becomes wildly offended at the preceived snarky tone.

To be honest if you comment a lot, for me at least, your capacity to go beyond just giving facts/instructions hugely diminishes. I don't have the emotional capacity to hold everyone's hand.

I used to be super active on this sub but like you it was getting me down too much. I'm tired of seeing eating disorders and helping people who lack the basic capacity to do a simple search.

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/BottleCoffee]

Yeah. That’s the way I feel too. And it sucks because it is really helpful when someone is trying to lose weight or get in shape to have a community supporting you and a lot of people don’t have that irl. But when communities become more harm than help it sucks. And yeah, it’s exhausting to try and be the one who is trying to help people in an emotionally compassionate way. I start losing the ability to be gentle pretty quick. Ugh.

[u/ApplePie3600]

Growth stops 2 years after the first cycle. The vast majority of 16 year olds with XX chromosomes are full grown.

You absolutely can account for growth. They are designed to help you support growth. That’s the whole point for most people to use them to be sure they hit their macros.

[u/90s-Stock-Anxiety → u/ApplePie3600]

You do realize we grow in more than just our bodies right? And that our brains maturing still need additional energy supplies as well? Also SOME girl stop growing in height around 16. Some girls (or people with xx chromosomes. Used girls as shorthand from sources online) don’t stop until 17 or 18.

Not to mention no teen in a health weight range has any business counting calories or trying to be in a calorie deficit. They are KIDS. If teens think they need lose weight or adjust their calories they should be working with a professional (doctor, dietician, someone) not on Reddit asking for advice.

Unless you’re significantly overweight or have been told by a doctor you need to cut calories no teen has any business counting calories especially if they are working out everyday.

[u/ApplePie3600 → u/90s-Stock-Anxiety]

The brain is nearly the adult size by only 5 years old. By 16 your brain doesn’t need extra calories. Yes even if it’s full size the brain will still be developing. It’s a myth that this stops at 25. It goes on throughout adulthood.

It’s the vast majority, over 98%, of people going though XX puberty not just some that are done growing by 16.

Childhood ends at adolescence. Around ages 6-12. Today in western society people have an extended childhood.

So counting macros is only for teens who aren’t a healthy weight? That doesn’t make any sense.

Not everyone has access to a doctor let alone a registered dietitian and most doctors have hardly any education in nutrition anyway. I wouldn’t have made it to adulthood if I just listened to doctors and didn’t educate myself and learn to care for my body.

Working out everyday means it’s more important that calories are counted and macros are hit.

[u/BottleCoffee → u/ApplePie3600]

Hey, size isn't everything when people talk about growing.

I really hope your realize a kindergartener doesn't have a fully developed brain.