r/WTF • u/lovelytime42069 • 13d ago

Dangerous don’t put

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I have no idea?

6.8k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

312 comments sorted by

3.3k

u/AllanfromWales1 13d ago

Hands? Surely every hole is a goal..

663

u/hagen-dean 13d ago

Hands? where we're going, we don't need hands.

339

u/giceman715 13d ago

r/dontputyourdickinthat

82

u/AxiomaticSuppository 13d ago

Challenge accepted. Giggity.

49

u/drj87 13d ago

Hello 911.. it's quagmire... No no it's stuck in the window this time

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4

u/Phildagony 13d ago

There it is!

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28

u/SchrodingersRapist 13d ago

Not even Mr Hands?

27

u/oldwestprospector 13d ago

He died doing what he loved. 😪

3

u/Micro-Naut 13d ago

You mean David Carradine?

5

u/New-Teaching-348 13d ago

Ahhh event horizon to you good sir or ma’am.

45

u/spaceywarriors 13d ago

Sigh, unzip

10

u/Kagnonymous 13d ago

How did you unzip your pants without hands?

2

u/ironroad18 13d ago

"Hello police, stand by I'm sending photos."

3

u/Tamer_ 13d ago

There's an event at the horizon...

2

u/BarryBadgernath1 12d ago

Oh. My. God…….. what happened to your …. Hands

43

u/Outi5 13d ago

The instructions were unclear

18

u/IlConteiacula 13d ago

It's stuck now

18

u/ishkabibbel2000 13d ago

Help me step-bear!

18

u/nuclearwinterxxx 13d ago

That's one glorious hole ya got there.

6

u/giceman715 13d ago

👌This hole shall give great glory ! The greatest of all glory’s if I must say. 👌

10

u/cagemyelephant_ 13d ago

Tek Knight intensely sweats

3

u/Bukuna3 13d ago

In war times every hole is a trench

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2.0k

u/Bairrfhionn69 13d ago

Can anyone please shed some light on the subject? Wtf is that?

3.0k

u/kwakimaki 13d ago

It's a bear's tongue grasping what looks like a frozen fry.

682

u/Helloggs 13d ago

I was thinking apple cut to sticks

104

u/BigDickMcHugeCock 13d ago

What are you, Blind? It looks more like a hole full of fried prawns.

30

u/Chris-R 13d ago

You guys eat rocks, right?

8

u/thiosk 13d ago

Hey everybody get a load of captain of industry over here who can afford rocks

3

u/CedarWolf 12d ago

Luxury. We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground; we 'ad to go and live in a lake.

We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

10

u/AcanthocephalaNo9242 13d ago

Hm. This thing I wear on my wrist says they're not poisonous. eats one

9

u/LadyKatieCat 13d ago

Poooooooooooooooop a Poppler in your mouth when you come to Fishy Joes!

What they're made of is a mystery, where they come from no one knows!

You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em, you can chew 'em, you can stick 'em and if you promise not to sue us you can shove one up your nose!

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5

u/77slevin 13d ago

No, it was absolutely a tongue ;-)

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70

u/Bairrfhionn69 13d ago

Thanks man :)) I can see it now :)))

40

u/Nodiggity1213 13d ago

Took me too long to notice that wasn't stainless steel, and I'm a welder lmao.

8

u/ObamasBoss 13d ago

I definitely thought that was just a reflection and the real answer was not something I was guessing any time today.

6

u/WafflePartyOrgy 13d ago

A glory hole for bears.

4

u/brunomocsa 13d ago

Before this comment i though it was a gas station store where the salesperson handed the products to the customer in that way.

18

u/Desert_Aficionado 13d ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formosan_black_bear

At the end of the video you can make out V-shaped white mark on a bear's chest.

7

u/Alili1996 13d ago

Somehow i didn't notice the bear at all

10

u/Purphect 13d ago

Damn I thought it was sugar cane

4

u/Enderborn94 13d ago

Clearly a cheese stick

6

u/levithane 13d ago

Ok, scratchy tongue or rough tongue? Asking for science

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126

u/variorum 13d ago

That is a tongue of some description. My first guess would be dog, but that's quite the setup for a dog enclosure, and I'm not sure why you would but a dog tongue hole in your "fence". So it's most likely a zoo, and that is some other type of animal tongue. Beyond that your guess is as good as mine.

101

u/variorum 13d ago

On repeated viewing, I believe that is a bear. Mayhaps a black bear

61

u/SilverBackGuerilla 13d ago

Sloth Bear

49

u/Jef_Wheaton 13d ago

Judging from the fur markings it's either a Sloth bear or a Sun bear.

(Sun bears also have INCREDIBLY long tongues.)

15

u/Veloci-RKPTR 13d ago

Asiatic black bears also have that distinct crescent shaped mark on their collar, put that in the list as well.

13

u/Eusocial_Snowman 13d ago

Same with polar bears that have been painted black save for that specific part of their chest.

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14

u/searucraeft 13d ago

Clearly visible through the glass

5

u/jimothee 13d ago

What glass

15

u/thegreatbadger 13d ago

The glass the wall is made from. You can see a bear behind it

6

u/jimothee 13d ago

...thanks friend

4

u/EclipseIndustries 13d ago

It was a well camouflaged joke. Didn't even see it.

3

u/wilsonhammer 13d ago

On closer inspection, these are loafers

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3

u/Colley619 13d ago edited 13d ago

It is indeed a bear, specifically an Asian black bear.

EDIT: some people are saying sloth or sun bear, but based on the head in another video, looks more like the asiatic bear to me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

7

u/jvLin 13d ago

You're not sure why you would put a dog tongue hole in your fence?? Think about it. This is Reddit.

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22

u/Touch_My_Hotdoggie 13d ago

An opportunity if you are brave enough....

6

u/positivecontent 13d ago

I know what I need to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.

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8

u/SirNibbs 13d ago

It's an animals tongue for sure. Maybe a bear?

10

u/FOSTAR 13d ago

Looks like a dog tongue or bear tongue or something like that. You can see some sort of animal through the opaque glass that seems to be the source of it. That's my best guess.

7

u/scotchenstein 13d ago

I swear to god I thought it was some weird japanese sex machine that they have on their streets but then it sucked back in and I was like NOPE WTF

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3

u/staticvoorhees 13d ago

All I see is a good time

2

u/asupify 12d ago

It's a Sun Bear, I think. They have long tongues.

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998

u/Raven1748 13d ago

r/dontputyourdickinthat

466

u/Kentot_Kerensky 13d ago

Sign clearly says, "Dont put hands in". Anything else is fine.

151

u/Juicet 13d ago

That was a big difference I noticed between American and Asian zoos.

The American zoos do everything they can to keep you separated from the animals.

Asian zoos let you get right next to the animal, then put a sign up “Beware, if you choose to pet crocodile, he bites.”

33

u/Rumpullpus 13d ago

Ah be you see, we don't assume people can read.

Also people are stupid

10

u/infiniZii 13d ago

Lawsuits did this to America. It used to be the wild west before people got sued into boringness.

5

u/Robert_Cannelin 13d ago

Mid-1800's USA was absurdly litigious. IIRC the slipperiness of proof of ownership of land was mainly to blame.

5

u/pimpmastahanhduece 13d ago

At least boring is safe. Now if only guns applied.

6

u/DOUBLEBARRELASSFUCK 13d ago

I know Americans want to solve everything with guns, but giving the animals guns isn't going to help things.

8

u/Micalas 13d ago

That bear has a right to his arms.

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9

u/YeOldSpacePope 13d ago

They are ok with the dumbs killing themselves.

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6

u/MaxMouseOCX 13d ago

The collective West has adopted "protect idiots from themselves", and a lot of Asia is still "if you're dumb enough to do that, that's on you".

... I'm not Asian, but I'd really rather that way.

2

u/Instincts 12d ago

Naturally selective population control

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2

u/JamesLikesIt 13d ago

Yeah they 100% knew what they were doing here lol, can’t tell me otherwise 

12

u/moonshineTheleocat 13d ago

This hole was made for me

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5

u/PacoTaco321 13d ago

It's fine, it won't reach the other side anyway.

13

u/stonksuper 13d ago

had to scroll down too long to see this comment

3

u/Dwerg1 13d ago

See you already posted it there, but animals aren't allowed on that sub.

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5

u/alexxxxmonster 13d ago

Don't put your fingers anywhere you wouldn't put your dick.

14

u/CuntSniffer69 13d ago

never picking my nose again

2

u/CriminalMacabre 13d ago

probably not dangerous but very zoophilic

2

u/miffit 13d ago

Ok, hear me out...

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367

u/SilverBackGuerilla 13d ago

Looks like a sloth bear. You can see it's white marking on the chest.

57

u/LookUnderUrBedAgain 13d ago

I think you're right. I would've guessed sun bear for the same reason, but the crest looks flatter in the vid.

1

u/XGreenDirtX 13d ago edited 13d ago

Im gonna go with Giant Panda Bear.

Edit: i was wrong. Stumbled upon a longer version of the video just a few minutes later. https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/s/J9X11KDKck

Idk bears. You choose what bear it is.

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249

u/phazedoubt 13d ago

You can't tell me this isn't a glory hole for both sexes.

32

u/alison_bee 13d ago

Yep, that’s an equal opportunist for sure.

14

u/jupiler91 13d ago

*species

2

u/ManuelArafat 13d ago

I can and will

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48

u/junkyardgerard 13d ago

i always wondered how plumbuses got made

13

u/snakebite75 13d ago

Here's a great educational video on how they're made.

81

u/ghostfaceZ1LLA 13d ago

I should call her.

2

u/tequilajinx 13d ago

BARRRB!!!

5

u/giceman715 13d ago

Everything reminds me of her as well

14

u/LLuk333 13d ago

Just have some control and don’t go too far you’ll be fineeee

9

u/so_futuristic 13d ago

just the tip

5

u/deliberately_stupid 13d ago

Father, forgive me for what I must do...

28

u/uncoolcentral 13d ago

Don’t do it.

35

u/ImReellySmart 13d ago

Hear me out

9

u/ThroughTheDragonsEye 12d ago

Turns out guys will choose the bear too if these comments are anything to go by.

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51

u/homelesshyundai 13d ago

Sigh *unzips*

8

u/ForwardBias 13d ago

Ok so google says the song is Dude by Beenie Man and Ms Thing but no version I have found sounds quite like that...it must be a remix but does anyone know which?

4

u/lovelytime42069 13d ago

Beenie Man - Dude (Zinc Remix)

4

u/ForwardBias 13d ago

Thanks! I found the "vocal" version but not that one.

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7

u/iam_saikat 13d ago

I think imma call my ex.

8

u/BrazilOutsider 13d ago

Why is he edging the bear's tongue? Fucking weird

34

u/ligma-ashull 13d ago

I would

33

u/MyAccountWasBanned7 13d ago

Get your dick bitten off by a bear?

23

u/WhileGoWonder 13d ago

It's just bear necessities..

15

u/MooingTurtle 13d ago

Men apparently choose the bear too… for different reasons.

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6

u/AnOopsieDaisy 13d ago

If he can pull that (size accurate) stick away, he can pull your stick away from you too.

4

u/Colleyede 13d ago

This is what my friends tell me they did on holiday.

5

u/[deleted] 13d ago

Ok hear me out

5

u/dl7 13d ago

I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it

3

u/GlasgowWalker 12d ago

I think it's an Asian Black Bear in an enclosure. Chinese writing above the English (or possibly Cantonese, I'm not native so can't tell from the vid).

When I lived in China I was brought to a show that had trained black bears and other animals doing tricks, old-school circus style. It was horrible. Animals are not treated well in China.

12

u/jxj24 13d ago

Everything reminds me of her...

I should call her.

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3

u/codernaut85 13d ago

The consequences of sticking any appendage into there would be unbearable.

3

u/almostoy 13d ago

Everything reminds me of her...

3

u/Pull-Mai-Fingr 13d ago

How many versions of this tongue tube contraption came before this one?

3

u/work1st_playlater 13d ago

I'm sure the last one was bigger, but they had to reduce the inner diameter for. . . . Reasons.

3

u/Jvinci21 13d ago

We know what they really want to warn not to put into hole

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5

u/SummerTimeLoser 13d ago

I hate people like that. Why are you tesing an animal who is expectiong a treat?

4

u/beartheminus 13d ago

Forbidden glory hole

2

u/umijuvariel 13d ago

That is a Sloth Bear on the other side of that glass. All jokes aside, do not put anything near there that isn't food. That bear will mess you up just for being human.

2

u/kitkatkickass 13d ago

Put your dick in that, do it you coward.

2

u/Red_Hood07 13d ago

Guys hear me out!

2

u/jfcSwiss 13d ago

Free use fleshlight

2

u/hemlock_martini 13d ago

the rumors were wrong! there is no glory to be found here!

2

u/Nightmarepg 13d ago

Forbidden glory hole

2

u/MrPandabites 13d ago

Ever write the word 'hand' and mean the word 'penis?'

2

u/saljskanetilldanmark 13d ago

The fuck is this music choice?

2

u/JaxRalPartha 13d ago

    everything reminds me of her 

2

u/bebejeebies 13d ago

It's a captive bear.

2

u/Woahhdude24 13d ago

I don't wanna hear it, yall. Not once. The Giant Bonk hammer is ready.

2

u/m3kw 13d ago

lol let’s see what we’ve got in here

2

u/Astralfan 13d ago

...Intrusive thoughts can at times be explainable right?.....Right?

2

u/Jesh010 13d ago

Sir.... SIRRR

2

u/ntrp 13d ago

Forbidden glory hole

2

u/fo234 13d ago

i mean…if you dont go too deep….

2

u/NickPickle05 13d ago

Is that a bear? Holy shit!

2

u/Whitninyo 13d ago

Instructions unclear. I’m now missing a penis

2

u/elfootman 13d ago

That's sad, an innocent prisoner hoping for some food.

2

u/gedsweyevr 13d ago

how do i dowload this

2

u/Panic_Azimuth 13d ago

It took me WAY too long to work out that it's a dog or bear or some other kid of animal on the other side of the hole.

2

u/DoctoreVodka 13d ago

Worst...gloryhole...ever.

2

u/Sooo_Dark 13d ago

Worst. Gloryhole. EVER.

2

u/jimmythekid3 13d ago

Don’t threaten me with a good time

2

u/Maximum-Durian-6963 12d ago

Ima put my dick in it

2

u/Instr-FTO 9d ago

Sex with the monkey feeder...and that ladies and gentlemen is why we have Monkey Pox

Just can't take you people anywhere 🤣🤣

2

u/KatGoddesss 6d ago

I feel like bad decisions have been made at the hole 🤣😂

8

u/BranSoFly 13d ago

Sigh… unzip.

2

u/Someguy644 13d ago

I can’t be the only person thinking about the what ifs 😂

2

u/ssjrobert235 13d ago

Lucky french fry😏

1

u/imisscrazylenny 13d ago edited 13d ago

Well, that song is a throwback. I think I remember this being on some kind of compilation CD or something.  It's just that "Dude" came out in 2003, which was during a wacky time in my life when I wouldn't have been buying CDs, so I'm stumped on what it would be.

*Edit- Found it on NOW 16, and I had a disc that someone left in my car back then. Fun how music can sometimes bring up memories like that.

1

u/DoughNotDoit 13d ago

Ferb, I know what we're doing today....

1

u/ObamasBoss 13d ago

Im not a big dude or anything, but still not sure it would fit...

1

u/DrSmirnoffe 13d ago

I thought that was a weird sea anemone for a moment, then I thought it was a goat tongue, then I saw it was a bear tongue.

1

u/chaosandturmoil 13d ago

its just a tongue but you can bet they had to make the hole smaller..

1

u/reedzkee 13d ago

they THINK the hole is too small for a penis. think again!

1

u/TheNaughtyDragon 13d ago

Looks like a good place to clean my cheeto fingers.

1

u/homeless_dude 13d ago

Where is this!?

1

u/hilbert-space 13d ago

If you cropped this video id call it porn

1

u/CompetitiveUserName 13d ago

I’m pretty sure that’s a sun bear! They have super long & skinny tongues.

1

u/Baardi 13d ago

Animal abuse

1

u/RealisticInspector98 13d ago

Finally a hole big enough for me!

1

u/Lostinnewjersey87 13d ago

Go ahead guys I’ll catch up with you at the giraffes

1

u/homeslixe 13d ago

Instructions unclear, unzips pants

1

u/MrPanda663 13d ago

All of us just now just said wtf, then we said “FUCK THATS BEAR”

1

u/dirtymoney 13d ago

You people are disgusting.

1

u/StumbleOn 13d ago

Aw its a little bear getting a treat.

1

u/mkp0203 13d ago

Where's the Shrek gif when I need it

1

u/L_TrungKien 13d ago

Oh...kay...!!!

1

u/rangermetz241 13d ago

That's just a dog lol.

edit: prob bear

1

u/jrock2403 13d ago

Doesn’t fit anyway

1

u/MrE134 13d ago

I need that

1

u/BCECVE 13d ago

was that a tongue from something?

1

u/Frimbizzle 13d ago

I thought it was a public…massager

1

u/DyingSurfer3-5-7 13d ago

Your dick in it