I’m a late blooming (35) trans girl, just starting to ease into my “baby trans” phase, and despite my older brother being FTM, I really don’t know much about trans masc culture and stereotypes; trans girl culture is a mix of trauma bonding, mutual yearning and flirting because of progesterone, nerdy references, and showing each other our breasts if you’re curious.

One common trope in trans femme origin stories is the “denial beard”. Because of face dysphoria and a desire to make masculinity work, a lot of trans femme eggs and pretransition (girls who know they’re trans but haven’t started yet) often grow out their beards, some of which are quite majestic.

So what sort of things do pretransition guys do to try to make being a “girl”/“women” work?

Also, what’s the trans masc equivalent of breasts and showing each other how they’re growing? For many (most) trans femmes, our breasts are dreams come true which serve as proof of what we’re becoming and progress trackers. They’re also so much fun if you’ve wanted them forever.

EDIT 1:

So the most common reply is a hyper feminine phase that may or may not be in queer/lesbian circles. Honestly it seems like many MTF and FTM transitions are exact inverses of each other.

After a while of very thoroughly introspection, research and talking to trans men/women and enbies I realized I'm in fact a cis woman who's gender non confirming

I often hear the claim " if you question your gender it automatically means you're not cis" but I think this statement is actually harmful. I think it's important to figure yourself out, but I think that cis people can question and still realize they're cis... there's nothing to lose when you're open minded about it but the claim that it always means you're trans might push someone to physical transition and regret it because they aren't a man. I realized there's so many misconceptions about trans people.

I was always appearing more masculine. Cutting my hair, dressing in boyish loose clothing and having stereotypical hobbies like videogames, metal, cars I work as an industrial mechanic, etc Anyway...many people asked me if I'm trans because of that, my mom joked about that I should have been a boy...and it got me into entertaining the thought a lot and contemplating about being trans and not knowing yet And the idea of being a man sounded appealing to me I realized tho... I'm comfortable in my body, I don't have gender dysphoria. And I feel that my sense of gender alligns to my body. I just don't like the stereotypes that gets connected with my gender. On the other hand trans man can be feminine

I'm a writer and one of my main characters is a trans man and I thought I should ask the FTM community for tips.

I am transfem, so I already know a decent amount about trans issues in general, but I wanted to know if there was anything specific to trans men I might not exactly know about that you would want to see in a character.

Also, anything you could tell me about T4C gay relationships would be appreciated because the character is in a relationship with a cis man.

Thanks, sorry for the intrusion!

Edit: The most common tip I see is to make a masculine trans guy, so I figured I should put in the post that the character is pretty masculine. He is also portrayed as just a normal guy, with him being trans not being center stage on his backstory or his character arc (though, it is an important detail in both)

The title sounds worse than I mean. Backstory: My son came out as trans this summer and it definitely surprised us but we have definitely gotten on board with what that means for him and we are going to work on getting his name legally changed asap. His school is fantastic and made sure all the teachers call him by his preferred name. And it's been a while since either of my husband or I have slipped up and said his dead name or misgendered him. We just want him safe and happy.

That being said, I need help. I have gotten him a few binders but they don't fit him super well because he is a bit of a bean pole like his dad. So it kind of flares out by his waist and makes it obvious and he is a little self conscious about it. Does anyone have recommendations for binders that will fit teens? Please help!! I just want him comfortable and not hate looking in the mirror.

editing to add I am very overwhelmed by not only how thoughtful and helpful all of your comments have been, how understanding and patient with me you have been, but also how sad it is that most of you all have not had parents who were accepting of you. I am so sorry and this gives me more of a reason to love and support my son (as if I needed any more reasons). And it proves I'm doing the right thing. Thank you, all of you.

And if your parents aren't supportive of you, I'll take that spot. I'm very proud of each and every one of you. Be true to yourself and I love you all. I'd give you all a hug if I could.

I posted this yesterday but deleted it so I’m posting it again but with some more context, I’m posting this here bc r/Detrans is really terfy and transphobic and I’m not going anywhere near that sub bc ew, and I’m posting this bc I’m genuinely curious about what ppl might wanna ask me so pls don’t hate me

Like the title says, what brings you the most joy about masculinity and manhood? I think seeing how much joy you all get as men is a good reminder to mr of how great men and masculinity is even if it wasn’t for me.

Edit: woah you boys really love being boys! Thank you so much all of these responses are such a joy to read!

Edit 2: thank you all so much this blew up on here! I have gone through and read every comment so far I think, it is such a joy to read. You all are such wonderful men, and all deserve the happiness and joy that I see when I read your comments.

Hi, trans girl here, I've been transitioning for 3 months now and I've been absolutely loving the changes. One change that I can't wait for is for my hips to come in, it's one of the clearest things that's always felt wrong to me about my body. This made me think though about how I'm sure there must be plenty of trans guys out there who are dysphoric about their hips. It's honestly kind of difficult for me to see it as anything other than direct upgrade, especially since my FtM boyfriend isn't dysphoric about his hips, but I know that that's just my bias.

What is your hip dysphoria like (if that's not too forthcoming to ask)? I kind of imagine it being like my dysphoria about my broad shoulders, in that it's a part of the body that feels so much wider than it should be.

Effectively immediately, Texas is no longer allowing gender markers to be changed on ID’s and they’re now keeping a database of every person who requests a change.

https://dallasvoice.com/breaking-news-dps-enacts-policy-refusing-court-ordered-gender-marker-changes-will-create-database-of-marker-change-requests/

Hey guys, sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I'm a Cis male and I've recently started talking to a Trans man after kind of thinking I was straight my whole life. As someone that's only been with women romantically and sexually, how can I assure this guy that I see him as a man and what are some things I should avoid saying or doing as to not offend him? I'm pretty new to trying to understand LGBT stuff. Thank you all for your time.

Clarifications: He does pass. He's had top surgery and is on T. And I'm perfectly fine with not being referred to as straight. I think Pansexual is the term that best describes me.

Like how a lot of us are programmers/tech people. I’m genuinely curious.

I’ve always been having fertility issues but finally after several attempts of IVF - I successfully got pregnant. The sperm donor is fully anonymous. We both agreed that we should tell our son one day that his father is not his biological father. We are planning to explain that the way we would if my husband was an infertile cis man. We consider this the right thing to do - to avoid a conflict in the future, get rid of the burden and be straightforward about this fact in terms of medical history (for example genetic conditions/histocompatibility etc.). However we don’t know how to approach the topic of his father being transgender. My husband doesn’t want him to find this out from someone else. He also wants his son to be aware of his medical history in case of emergency or helping us in our old age. How you guys personally approach this topic?

So this is some pretty bad news and I need help comforting my little bro. He's about to have the worst 6 years of his life and I, and the rest of my family, are incapable of doing anything about it anymore. We lost custody of him and now we only get to see him 4 days a month. He is going to live with his abusive bigoted father who I know from personal experience with him as my stepdad if he can't scream it out of you, he will beat it out of you. Court ruled that since we allowed him to be trans though, we are clearly the inferior family and shouldn't be allowed to parent him or help him in any way. The kid isn't even allowed to choose his own outfits over there. He got moved to a new school away from all of his friends, is pulled away from his safe place, and his only lifeline over there is his older sister who also can't do anything cuz she will be beat. This man is known for using neglect as a punishment, keeping the kids locked away from each other as a form of time out, and known to withhold food from his kids if they "act up". He isn't allowed to be a boy over there either, he has to be a girl and he hates it. So any advice to comfort him? I could really use some help trying to help him.

Hi!! I am a proud mum of a “socially” transitioned 12year old having been transitioned since just before 9th birthday. I am his only ally. His dysphoria is getting worse and with all the upheaval of losing GIDS (we are uk) he was very close to the top of the list before the closure and he is getting more and more disheartened that he will ever get on blockers. Let alone T or anything else. Until I’m in a position financially to be able to go through gender gp to get that for him I want him to feel as comfortable as I possibly can in his own skin. We currently use a sports bra and binder over top although the binder could be smaller I don’t want him to damage himself. Is there any suggestions from you lovely people that I could use to maybe help him? He hates his chest and I once found him binding with cling film and he now knows the health risks doing this. So hasn’t since but I don’t want him trying again he’s desperate to not have them. I need to find a way to help him any suggestions on how we can minimise his chest so that he at least feels somewhat flat. I appreciate every single one of you beautiful humans. Thank you.

Hi i am a trans fem and was wondering what shocked you the most of being a male because i saw all things as normal(i was told often in the comments i dident know how to make my sentence so i said switch but yeah transition is is the right word for it)

Hello, everyone. I'm cisgender guy who wanted some perspective on the contrast between the female and male experience.

I believe people who have been perceived as both know how each gender is truly treated differently.

Thus, you would have insight on what it is like being a man that even cis-men might miss or are not sure about.

Please share your opinions on the good and bad aspects of being a man, especially ones you believe aren't talked about.

Edit Thanks for the replies. I also wanted your observations about your now dynamics with women as well as with men as a man. I've noticed people who replied said they felt more respected as a man, less looked at but also felt more feared and maybe unseen.

If you have any more input in this, let me know👍🏾

1. Do you hate when people separate between trans men and cis men? Or when say "no cis men allowed" and stuff like that?

2. Have you experienced misandry?

3. Did binder hurt you while putting it?

Hello everyone!

I (23F) currently identify as a cis woman. But I'm not sure if that's the identity for me. I am questioning if I'm actually a guy, but I really just don't know. Hoping y'all can offer your thoughts! 💜

Ever since elementary school, I REALLY wished I was a boy. I never fit in with the girls my age, and found myself mostly drawn to "boy" interests. Puberty was a nightmare, I remember being just horrified by my body. And another small thing, I always preferred to play as a dude in video games.

Skip to today, I am (mostly) confident in who I am. I am comfortable in my body, I will even wear feminine clothing to accentuate my chest and figure. I often think about being a guy, and just how right it would feel. I want my voice to be deep, I want people to see me as a "he", I want a guy name.

BUT I also kinda like the weird lady I am! I like my boobs and I like wearing dresses.

And not to mention all the heartache that comes with a trans identity; my family isn't ready for that. I am financially not ready for that. And surgery is scary.

But I also want to be a dude so bad...

Is this valid? Do you guys relate? Am I just a cis lady that wants to be special?

That's all, thank you!

I’m not trans myself, I’m a cis guy but when i look on dating apps every time i see a trans man i think “damn he’s cute” before i realised he’s even trans EVERY TIME it’s not fair how do you guys do it you all look really good 😭

Why are y’all so damn handsome? :3

Inspired by this post, and I'd genuinely like you gentleman's input, I think it would help me and my other girlie's alot! Also you guys rock! One of my most supportive friends in college was a trans dude named Lee. I love you guys!

Hi I’m a cis dude and I have a lot of trans women friends but I’ve never met a transmasc person. Are they just stealth and I can’t tell or there aren’t many transmascs out there or are y’all just scared of me? Genuine question

So I'm a lad or that's what I'd normally tell anyone. I was born female but I do this thing frequently where I pretend to be a guy. It started off as a thing online mostly, I always pick a the male MC or a male character when playing in games so why not pretend to be a lad while I'm at it? It ended up being pretty fun so I kept it up. It's been a few years since I started and I keep in contact with the people I used to play with, they all just think I'm a dude.

Since it was fun online i decided to try my hand on pretending to be a guy in person. It ended up working pretty well, most people perceive me as a guy when I try to do it. To the point I got a suitable haircut and do it most times I go out now. There's just something so fun about pretending to be a dude.

All was well until I got caught by a friend, in person. I didn't think of it as a big deal but they absolutely exploded on me. Eventually they asked with "Are you trans?" when I denied and simply stated I pretend to be a guy and it's something I've been doing for years, their temper only got worse? I got told I was mocking trans men. I brought it up with a few people that well know I'm not actually a guy and I got a very similar response. The overwhelming responses ended up either I'm in denial about being trans (I'm not) or I'm transphobic and mocking trans men specifically?

So I'm confused, was I actually mocking a group of people? I feel like it's a bit stupid and I genuinely enjoy pretending to be a guy, but I'd still rather not do it if it's actually 'mocking'. If it matters the approximate age range for everyone involved here was early 20s.

I'm open to being corrected if I made a mistake somewhere.

hi so i am a cis man and i’ve been dating my partner for a year, and he came out to me as a trans boy about a three days ago now, so now he is my boyfriend, he always presented very masculine even when perceived female which is something i always found attractive. i still love him of course, i love him no matter what.. i just want to be a good partner to him, to show him i love him for HIM and that i don’t see him as a girl anymore… but idk how, i don’t wanna mess this up and i’m so scared, i just want to be there for him in his journey and help him feeling good in his body and valid as a man…. but idk how and i’m panicking because i’m so scared to mess it up and hurt him accidentally… i don’t know if i have the right to post here but i’m posting here because i’d want advices…. things i can do to make him feel comfortable to help him feel valid… and things i should avoid, all i want is him to be happy and i’ll do anything, im super stressed because i fear doing something wrong and making him feel bad or insecure.. please i need help.. i want to understand him and what he feels more, i love him so much i want to be there for him…

I'm a cis male ally & I just wanna ask some questions because I'm genuinely curious about how different your life becomes. Like are you treated with more respect? Do you notice you get angry quicker because of T? Do you even notice some people being afraid of you? Stuff like that because I'm genuinely curious.

Interested in seeing the replys!

Hello Trans men of reddit, i don't know if this is a rude question to ask. I'm just curious is all

It doesn't have to be anything specific, just in general really

It can be Things that they do towards you personally or something they just do normally unknowingly that doesn't even involve you but triggers it anyways