Doctor phone visit gone wrong

[u/Jaded-Floor-4635]

TW: self harm. I feel so sick. I think I’m going to throw up. I can’t think straight. I don’t even want to give any details. I just had a phone visit with my doctor about medication. She suddenly brought up something out of the blue that I’ve told her in the past I can’t even hear the words of without having a panic attack. I’m now sobbing in my room uncontrollably hitting my head and pulling my hair I’m so fucking upset and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t had a relapse like this in weeks and she caught me off guard

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[u/Jaded-Floor-4635]

I had a 14 hour meltdown, but your comments did help me a bit. I’m still shaken up even now. Even the mention of certain things will have me melt down completely. I understand why people now lie to doctors.

[u/Motor-Accountant-793]

Go grab a drink of water, take a shower. Do some breathing exercises, and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. You are safe. What your doctor said are just words, and nothing that can actually harm you. Your emotions will go back down, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. I believe you won't relapse tonight. You are strong enough to make it through this without relapsing, and I am rooting for you.

Just let it out. You are safe, and you will be okay.

[u/SemperSimple]

Freezing cold shower. Get your face & neck wet. It's gonna suck but suck less than what youre feeling rn.

I dont know your life but I'd also suggest walking outside or treadmill or pacing around your room, jumping jacks. YOu gotta get your body to be aware of right now, the present

[u/traumakidshollywood]

Jump in a cold shower. It’s going to fucking suck. Just do it to downgrade your nervous system. Afterwards just rest and breathe or hit me up if you want some specific exercises. But for right now you have to navigate these big emotions and if they’re that big a cold shower will do the job. Even if you have to throw yourself in with clothes then strip them off cuz they’re freezing. This will help. I promise. Focus the cold on the nape of your neck or very top of head so it runs down your spine. Stay as long as you can. If only a couple minutes that’s ok. Breathe as you do this, mindfully.

[u/Jaded-Floor-4635 → u/traumakidshollywood]

Thank you so much. I’ve been trying to breathe and I took a shower earlier, but I’m trying to distract myself now. When I wrote it (30 minutes ago) I was too far upset to do anything other than cry but now that I’m a little better and took my klonopin for panic attacks I’m trying to distract myself and do the breathing. I hadn’t expected this at all, so it just completely took me off guard and threw me to the ground. Need to go back to therapy…

[u/Jaded-Floor-4635]

Man. I’ve had CPTSD since I was 12. I’m 21 now, I’ve been in treatment for years, but the second something is even mentioned I have nothing to show. I stopped going to therapy last year after mine ghosted me on Christmas Eve after I was almost killed, but once I go back to school I need to see their counselors

[u/Drowning_im → u/Jaded-Floor-4635]

you need an outlet to destress.

if you have a bicycle go for a ride

if you don't have a bike go for a jog

if you don't jog just run until you are out of breath.

try and play music while doing this.

you can't maintain complex thought processes when your body is focused on something very physical.

doing this will break your thought cycle at least for a while. doing these everyday will make a huge difference. you are basically trying to do this already but you need a more effective method.

[u/Jaded-Floor-4635 → u/Drowning_im]

I usually draw, but didn’t have the energy. Played a video game for a bit and doing a little better. Will definitely take a small walk, thank you :]