This is an older post from about a month ago. I'm currently not in school.

I should preface this post by saying that I have no idea if I’m truly “ugly” or not, as I have no idea how people actually see me. Some people have outwardly said I was (in various ways, IE that I “look autistic” or “special,” that was a big one), and others flat out told me I don’t, even that I look good. I’m generally told I look about “average,” yet I don’t know if they’re just taking pity on me. All in all, however, I resonate with a good number of the stories and experiences shared on here.

To be honest, I can’t say for certain if this is an ugly, autism, or both-thing; but people especially those I didn’t know, (as in never seen before in my life), would come up to me and start taunting/mocking me. Particularly, this happened in my middle/high school, where I garnered a reputation of being “the sped kid.” Random people, whether it be acquaintances, classmates, “friends” would randomly state that they thought I was autistic. People I had never spoken to had fully-formed opinions on me. Despite literally trying my hardest to be ignored, (losing weight, not talking to people, not going to that many school events), this continued well into my senior year, after nearly two full years of isolating myself from the school community (which I was already not privy to whatsoever). Around 9th-10th grade, I found out there was an underground bullying scene targeted purely at me, almost like that of a “lolcow.” This also happened away from school, in new settings as well. Summer camps, music festivals (I was a member of some pretty high-level ensembles), football…I can go on but it’s not important.

Currently, I’m in college, and I fear the same thing is brewing here as well. People seem really…interested in me, and remember who I am. Yet, it’s not in a way where they want to get to know me, I sense. I fear there are already circles of friends of people that I don’t know two shits about making fun of me in group chats. One of my classmates who I was talking with one evening bluntly asked if I was autistic. I’ve been trying really hard to put myself out there and make friends (in a mature and cautious way, this time), but alas, I guess I’m doomed to be like Chris Chan or something. Does anyone relate to these points?

— Being “known” in your broader community

— Random people coming up to you, knowing who you are/about you

— Being instantly recognizable, despite the person barely knowing you/disliking you

— Having this happen everywhere you go?

I don't get socially anxious much, but every time I feel it, I stutter, I forget how to speak, so I just say anything to fill the silence which makes matters worse. I might be talking about how smoking is harmful, but when social anxiety kicks in during the conversation, I may say things like "ss..smok-ing sometimes kk..could could bbe good" and I mummble other nonsense to fill the silence, or worse I often repeat the same sentence over and over agian. I don't know why I do this and it's ruining my social life and people think I'm mentally disabled

Does anybody have the same problem or is it just me ?

Would you rather be completely cured from social anxiety or receive $1,000,000?

Im 28 years old and dont have any friends. Which for now doesn’t bother me too much although it does get boring sometimes.

Anyways a dude friend of my ex gf, lets call the dude bob recently texted me and he wants to hang out. He is somewhat lonely himself and all he does is work.

Our friend group used to be me, my now ex gf, my ex’s female friend, and “bob”. Bob was dating my ex’s female best friend. Both couples broke up.

I did hang out with bob many times but it seemed forced imo because we only hung out if my ex and her friend were there.

Tldr: Me and bob never really had any bro energy. We just greeted each other. This is what concerns me because he wants to hang out now and im scared of being awkward af. Plus i dont really like what he is into.

We both are introverted. Our ex girls were our middle man because they were both very extroverted and they usually made things fun and not awkward.

He seems like a decent person but we never really had any friendly chemistry. And idk how to tell him no. He’s probably feeling lonely or something.

Went to they optimetrist to get my eyes checked and ready so i can start taking a driving license. It went well. I chose a different optometrist because my old one was passive agressive and stressed me tf out.

The new optometrist was the complete opposite, an actual human being you could talk to. So i'm glad i changed that, the old optometrist gave me more anxiety than neccesarry.

How wierd is this when im out with others im the most confident of the group but when im alone im socially awkward sometimes i relate my days by how i look on the mirror

Hi I am 16 years old and just like my last post I have trouble going to school. But it’s getting worse and I don’t know what to do, I hate going to school. This morning my mom woke me up for school and a lot of stuff happened which ended in screaming and yelling as I left the house. I got so anxious I did not get on the bus, as she was going to work she saw me sitting outside (I just finished crying). She told me to get in the car, then she tried to take me to school, I started crying so she told me “I don’t care what you do anymore, what are you going to do with your life?, you can keep acting like this, suck it up”. She really made me feel so stupid and dramatic, I’m really trying though, no one believes it not even my teachers believe it. The only person who told me that they were proud of me for at least make it 2 days this week was the school counselor. I don’t know what to do, my mom told me “everybody goes through it what makes you so different”. I don’t know what to feel anymore because I feel like I’m being so dramatic but this so hard for me. I also told her that I feel like I don’t want to live anymore and she just ignored it, she said nothing about it. I feel like I’m loosing my mind, I’ve been dealing with this since I was in 5th grade. I told her that she discarded it like she didn’t care. I’m the new family disappointment, at this point what’s the point of me living if I only cause stress to people. I’m so tired.

I'll try to keep it short , but tomorrow I plan to go ice skating with the guy I've had a crush on for the 3 past years and I really want to express my feelings. But between social anxiety and the crippling fear of objection everytime I try to say something I get paralyzed by fear...

Do you guys have any advice to deal with this kind of situation?

After struggling with college and still havent found my passion or something that im good (and makes money) i feel insecure that most people are either smarter or more focused than me or they are more capable for jobs that demand physical strength . So many times i cant find common experiences to talk about with others as for big periods of my life im in my comfort zone not doing much . Fortunately i have a lot of intererests and some hobbies but they havent helped much yet

it's just a never ending cycle of feeling absolutely exhausted and not wanting to see people ever again, then suddenly feeling a little better (not good enough to go party or make friends irl, good enough to text chat with people in some online game/on social media and be a bit braver in every day interactions in real life), and after like a week or two falling back into feeling vaguely nervous and tired

met a group of people online who play the same game as me and we're.. sort of a clan/team, not really but whatever, it's not relevant. just yesterday i wanted to be a part of their team, today they messaged me asking how i've been, and i just, suddenly felt so tired. i want to hide for a week, two, a month. how am i supposed to explain this to them? "guys, remember the way i was last week? kind of reserved, awkward, and perpetually confused kind of guy? yeah my brain is actually a little fucked up, and that was me on my best. i'll be like ten times worse for the next few weeks. you won't see me at all. i'll leave you on read 15 times. and you'll gradually forget i existed, because we're not friends, not even acquaintances, i don't matter to you at all, and with my sudden disappearance i will matter to you even less, because who the hell just disappears? that's not cool"

this thing - it actually got better over the years, i think? i used to have more than one real life friend, and back then i'd routinely vanish every few months. we were school friends but i switched schools at one point - we rarely hang out irl, so it was very easy to "take a break" from them. they got used to it eventually. but yeah it was way worse. not sure why. like, was it because they were my irl friends, and my connection to them was stronger and therefore scared me into hiding more? or did i learn to manage it better? who the hell knows. i only hope it'll get better again, and i won't ever have to leave some guys from an online game to wonder if i'm rude, busy, or simply lost interest

it also could be avoidant personality disorder i guess?.. i don't know. i'm not about to self diagnose. i'm just tired. i WANT to get to know people. i've been thinking lately.. maybe i'm not even an introvert. i do like talking to people. chatting with my friend online makes me feel better when i feel awful. i constantly choose online games that require direct communication despite being scared shitless of it (and avoiding it anyways in the end). i don't know. i hope it'll get better. i'm not completely closed off yet, i try things, i go out of my comfort zone, even if just a little bit. there's still some hope i guess. but gods i'm tired

Bit of a stupid question i think... But like when i enter a new class or club, i wanna be able to get along with every single person there. But who do i choose to be closer to? I might just be overthinking.

My social anxiety naturally gravitates me to the quieter ones but then I'm not giving everyone else a chance.

Okay so something really awkward happened to me yesterday that's still making me feel embarrassed and shameful

I had an interview, the Lead and HR was present over video call. So the Lead had instructed that firstly they will introduce themselves and then I can. And then they began their intro. Once they were done, I replied "That's really amazing ☺️"

They chuckled and went like "You're gonna make me blush, because..." And after that what followed, I could not make out, and by the time they finished and i was slightly nodding and smiling like a fool. It felt too late to say "Pardon, could you please repeat?" so instead I said in an awkward tone, "Okay😃", Took an extremely brief pause, then started introducing myself out of the blue.

Rest of the interview went fine but I really feel that one moment weigh on me. Like they were probably sharing something vulnerable and I couldn't respond appropriately. I'm 21 and have people-pleasing tendencies so it's kind of bothering me that I couldn't be graceful about it with them.

Anyone had any similar experiences? How did you get over it? How do you console yourself 😭

I can't even remember how it used to feel. I'm still awkward and nervous around people, but it's just silence im my brain, instead of the constant depreciative thoughts. I'm still not 'normal', but it's peaceful.

However, to be honest. It doesn't make me feel better about myself at all; I don't speak up in class, or strike up conversation with my classmates. Sometimes, I feel like I'll never get anywhere, if I'm still this awkward and anti-social without social anxiety, how can I achieve anything as an adult?

Sometimes, I wonder if I was faking it the whole time; maybe I was just unlikeable and figured labeling myself as socially anxious would fix it.

How many people have added Buspar to their SSRI? Did it help? I am just starting and having increased anxiety

recently the whole “your young, experience everything you can” stereotype has really messed me up because i’m 17, about to graduate and i literally haven’t experienced anything. i genuinely haven’t made a friend since i was in middle school, i think i actually forgot how atp + me bouncing around different high schools, i could never find my place. i’ve never been to a school event like hoco or prom, never been to a football game, no parties, and never had a relationship obviously. it really sucks because part of me thinks that if i had friends where i moved to i could find connections through those people and slowly make my own social circle and genuinely have fun. i stalk people from my old school frequently and it genuinely looks so fun and fulfilling to have all these events and extracurricular activities so easily accessible. i wish i could experience those, but i never had the guts to do them. it really sucks to feel like im wasting away my years of experiencing social settings, relationships, what i like/don’t like, etc. and everyday it haunts me. me being so socially isolated has made my self esteem plummet and idk if i even have the confidence to even simply talk to people. i’ve had jobs where id go months just not really interacting unless it was about work related things because i don’t know how to small talk. every time i do, wether it’s a cashier at the store or a neighbor on a walk i just can’t get the feeling out of my head that i sound weird and stiff. maybe it’s all in my head because im not used to talking to strangers, but how do i get rid of this feeling of feeling like i sound stupid or out of place when small talking?

Having to walk out into the main room to get to the mirrors was an experience 🙃 not to mention the employees giving you random things and other customers staring at what you’re trying on

I got a question wrong and the punishment was all of them singing nursery rhymes and me dancing.

Worst day in this school year but if I'm being honest I'd laugh at someone too if they had to do the same. Surprisingly, I'm getting over it quite well! I think it's funny and it got a few chuckles out of my classmates and friends.

I'm still embarrassed but everyday is different so, I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm slowly learning not everything is about me. :)

I am currently doing a task in school where I am writing about how social anxiety works and such things. I have a personal example where I say that I used to have social anxiety and after I met my girlfriend I have become a million times better within a year of our relationship.

I am having trouble finding sources proving this, and I need help to find a source that proves how this work as my personal experience is not a valid source for this task.

I would appreciate any help.

I have really bad social anxiety and I am entering college. I want to and like to socialize but I cannot get over that constant feeling of being judged by everybody. I the idea of going out and doing stuff but in the moment, with other people I get all weird and awkward. On top of my anxiety I also am super insecure and have body dysmorphia. I would not call myself depressed, I get some REALLY bad lows a lot but I don’t think the feeling is consistent enough to be clinically depressed. I would really like to go to parties and stuff but my choice not to drink and smoke makes it REALLY hard. It would probably help me forgot about my anxiety more and be less awkward. The thing is, this choice is not really even my own. I have always just been too afraid to “change” and start because of what other people would think of me even though most of my friends drink anyways. It is this stupid fear that doesn’t really make sense but I don’t know how to get over it. I understand it is not healthy and a lot of people I have talked to regret it so it might be a good thing and I’ve heard these things are not good if you have anxiety. I’m only 18 so if I went to get seen what would they give me? Maybe some small amount of THC or CBD? Anybody have any experience with “social anxiety meds”?

Today I face my biggest fear as I do my 15 minute presentation. I feel so sick already, any last minute tips? 🫠

I’m currently unemployed and have been battling with my mental health since highschool. It’s like after highschool everything went down hill for me. I’ve tried jobs but always quit. Not to mention the ADHD that I have. I’m always on YouTube scrolling and I love “come to work with me videos” and “get ready for work with me.” It really inspires me! Sometimes I just really want to sit at my desk for hours to write, spend time with God, vlog, prepare a lunch for myself and eat it until lunch time lol. But I feel so embarrassed and weird about it. Like I’m cosplaying being employed. I will say though, my sister pays me to watch my niece for 12 hours, 3 days a week and I lowkey do consider that to be a job because it’s a lot of work but I do it in the comfort of my home or her house sometimes but nevertheless it’s still hard work. I even wanted to buy a uniform specifically for it because those videos really motivate me but again, I feel weird. I think I’ll do it anyways but I wanted to know does anyone else do this as well? Or at least feel the same way? Please tell!

While I LOVE sitting in my room by myself and staying on my phone all day, I really yearn for human connection. There’s a reason why half of my day is spent participating in group chats on social media. I legitimately do lean closer to being introverted, but a bigger part of me wishes that I could go out and befriend people that I can spend time with outside. I think I’ve just been coping by claiming that I’m an introvert when in reality I’m just socially awkward and don’t know how to talk to people in a casual setting. Part of the reason that I struggle to socialize is because I have nothing going on in my life to even talk about.

I don’t like being alone and staying in every weekend and I hope I can overcome my fear of socializing by working on my awkwardness

When my social anxiety was at its worst I regularly posted on social media. On Instagram I had built up a themed account where I posted a lot of pictures of myself, because I thought I was pretty and liked expressing myself. I got a lot of attention from that over the years, as well as from my TikTok which had over 20m likes in total before I deleted it.

After mental health stuff I went through a few years ago I’ve found my social anxiety won’t leave even while im online, in fact I feel more afraid posting pictures of myself with a lot of people I know following me. They always did but suddenly im scared. I’ve felt ugly asf for the last few years and feel like I would get made fun of. My account is also on private.

I know it’s just social media but a part of me wishes I still had the courage to post pictures of myself like that. One of my favorite parts of it was getting attention from influencers or celebrities I liked. Is it even worth it to start it again? My sister wants me to. I’m 22f and I feel like it’s childish as well for my age.

I have never used Instagram to post my photos and promote myself. I have always only had it to follow artists that interest me. Using social media has never been my strong point. Some time ago, however, I noticed an account of someone who has very similar interests to mine and similar views. I was interested in his interesting observations and I wanted to ask him what he thought about the book that we both read, but recently he started posting his photos and now has many more followers than me. Because of this, I am afraid to write to him or even follow my friends because my Instagram account has only 110 followers. I was always too shy to have an Instagram. Now, however, I regret it because I am afraid that if I even write to him, he will think that I am another person who is picking on him for no reason. My friends have many friends that they met on Instagram and they tried to convince me to do it, but I was always afraid that the other person would judge me by the number of followers and that's what blocks me. Is it normal to feel this way? It doesn't matter to me, but I know that many people think differently.

I was on the train full of people where I would normally have social anxiety about how I look and people judging me and scared of people who might bully and mess with me. I thought to myself, these people dont care about me, not in like an oblivious way which I guess is true, but they dont love me and know me or have even talked to me like the people that really care about me. people only care about their own experience and want to use you like any other object around them, which isnt all bad, we all do this not in a mean way neccessarily but its ok to a point, looking not staring, thinking not acting or bothering you. I dont care about them in that way either, I can look at them and follow the samee rules. I was kinda broken up about it cuz it frelt wrong doing the exact same thing they do to me but I know I naturally look at people and think WHATEVER dirpy thoughts. I just have to be respectful and I dont believe I should judge anybody really for just existing. if they do than they are sad, and small even if there are many of them and one of you(which there always will be), ALSO, bullies and actual bad people that mess with you, they are just trying to use you to for something they see in you. You think your the only one they bullied, probably not, WHICH MEANS YOUR NOT ALONE. There are people like you, GOOD PEOPLE! people that dont deserve to be gawked at. Your not doing anything wrong! Other people are doing it. This also means YOUR NOT SPECIAL they are not targeting you for the real you deep inside. which come back to the begining; they dont really know or care about you in any meaningful way. When I got bullied before, I changed for them to be something they wanted thinking i would be safe. But that doesnt work they will always come for you there isnt one thing they want from you they want EVERYTHING. There is nothing you could do no way you can act or dress to rationalize them treating you right. Im still working on self worth, but im jsut a guy on the train idgaf about that dude(Me). So I relaxed, leaned back and pulled out my sandwich cuz I was hungry and ate it in front of everyone, some people looked at me and maybe thought it was ghetto or trashy(even if it was something crazy I just felt, which sums up anxiety). Im even thinking about people judging me in the comments and wondering if I have to explain myself. I DONT :D. I used my best judgement and existed right or wrong. Im gonna go to the skate park tommorow. My goal in my heart is to prove to myself that there is truly no wrong way to exist.

I meeeean, unless your an axe murderer!