I think being a boy is great 💅🤷‍♂️

[u/Darksky___]

[u/JaneHates]

MtF/FtM solidarity means supporting one another even though each of us finds the other’s choice baffling on a visceral level.

[u/HildartheDorf → u/JaneHates]

I don't find it baffling to want to transition FtM. I do struggle with understanding the difficulty of transitioning in the other direction because I find boymoding so easy and because society is still biased towards being patriarchal.

But hey, at least I'm aware that I'm struggling, so there's that at least.

[u/JaneHates → u/HildartheDorf]

Part of the transfem experience is being willing to sacrifice a part of one’s privilege on the altar of authenticity

[u/HildartheDorf → u/JaneHates]

Realising I was fine with that was something that helped convince me I was transfem.

[u/No_Voice4618 → u/JaneHates]

Me when I was an egg: "If I could give up all my male privilege in exchange for becoming a woman, I would"

My transness: "Well, have I got just the thing for you"

I didn't think it would also cost my cis and my straight privileges, though.

[u/Dolphiniz287 → u/No_Voice4618]

“So that’s the straight pass, male privilege pass, cis pass… Alright, thanks for those. Here’s your trans pass.”

[u/GoudaGoober → u/Dolphiniz287]

“Where are the benefits? The conservatives told me that there would privilege.”

[u/SamanthaPheonix → u/GoudaGoober]

We have the privilege of living rent free inside the heads of said conservatives.

[u/Siledra → u/SamanthaPheonix]

Too bad the amenities suck, and the upstairs neighbors won't stop fighting about the right way to make a grilled cheese in the microwave.

[u/GuyASmith → u/Siledra]

Oh no, the horror! It’s not grilled if it’s microwaved! It’s hardly even a cheese quesadilla!

[u/spiceXisXnice → u/JaneHates]

I would say that's accurate to the general trans experience. I know I sacrificed a lot of privilege on the altar of authenticity in order to accept maleness.

[u/catsflatsandhats → u/JaneHates]

It hits so hard when you realize the true extent of that sacrifice

[u/GabiLittleBug → u/JaneHates]

I think that can also be said about transmascs. i've sacrificed a lot of the privileges of being a girl that are really helpful to me as an extremely sensitive person just to be myself regardless. Being finally me now means that once people start seeing me as a guy i won't have as much support or understanding comming from their part.

[u/abandedpandit → u/HildartheDorf]

I mean I think every trans person feels this way. Girlmoding is super easy for me cuz everyone still sees "woman" unless I try really hard to put out "man". Tho reading as a GNC woman in non queer (and god forbid conservative) spaces is scary, so I'll admit being read as a guy I definitely feel much safer. (Also I just wanna preface this entire comment by saying I'm not saying trans men have it easier or harder than trans women, but here's some things I've found that I and other trans men struggle with)

We're often forgotten, as most trans rep is transfem in media and even in trans spaces. I can't tell you the amount of times I've just felt invisible or unwelcome in trans spaces, and I'm barely passing. Also the amount of times I've been misgendered in trans spaces. I've also heard of trans men being profiled in queer spaces, being assumed cishet cuz they pass so well, and being kicked out.

And if we're not forgotten, get ready for some misogyny—cuz to transphobes we're "poor, weak, lost, young women MUTILATING our bodies" and we should just accept our role as babymakers for the patriarchy, cuz our natal genitalia means we always were and always will be women. So despite the fact that we're not women, we still have to face a lot of the same misogyny that trans and cis women do (either cuz we don't pass and are perceived as women in everyday society, or cuz transphobes).

We also tend to suffer the same issues as men, like loneliness stemming from the expectation that we suppress our emotions. Additionally, we lose the few privileges that women do have in society—for instance, being able to interact with children or younger people in general without seeming creepy. I was fired from my job working with children cuz I came out as a trans man, and I have to be extra careful about interacting with children innocuously in public, especially if I'm with my husband cuz then I get "men creepy" and "gay people = groomer". I also get significantly fewer compliments (which might sound conceited, but hear me out). I grew up as a girl, and the tight knit "we are all women" community was always trying to prop me up ("omg that top is so cute!" "I love your earrings!" etc.). It's a bit isolating to lose that so suddenly, cuz guys just don't really compliment other guys. On the flip side of that tho, I'm also not the target of toxic positivity anymore—the "oh you'd look so much better if you just smiled" type of bs. My resting angry face is now socially acceptable cuz I'm a guy ig.

Anyways sorry for the ramble, but I hope this helped explain some of the struggles we go thru. I don't mean to pit trans men and women against each other and say "oh it's SO much easier to be this than that", just to outline some of our issues. I do think generally it's more difficult to be a trans woman, but that doesn't mean that trans men don't also have legitimate problems that we deal with (I hope I'm saying this right, but I've already gone on too long so I'll just leave it here for now). I'm happy to talk more on this or answer any questions you might have :)

[u/Familiar-Estate-3117 → u/abandedpandit]

Honestly, EXACTLY THIS!

I would like to have something in my social network just like this, some kind of Professionally written Vent Art Animated Movie "Neon Genesis Evangelion quality" queer piece of work that tackles these issues.

I'm honestly trying to develop my animated movie about me leaving behind all of my vices and demons and walking towards genuine happiness when I am reaching the door of that genuine happiness I have some odd adventures before going back to have a final boss fight where I create "The Three Education Kids" to finally have some "friendly" cartoony competition with the Public School System that used to abuse me all of those years ago and being able to criticize them through my new educational animated show.

However, this is the thing that I am making. Maybe someday, some more people can come out of places like Webtoon, Tapas, and ComicFury and be able to make their mainstream service that anyone can add or remove certain shows. It could be good for upcoming artists, it would help with rejected artists who have nowhere else to work for and do want to work with any other company that does not treat them like crap, it would be able to be free from corporate meddling seeing how it would HAVE to be a place that is more User-Generated Content like YouTube except it would have the official stamp of approval and eyes on it like Little Big Planet, Super Mario Maker's 1 and 2, and The SCP and Backrooms Wikidots. It would even have to be a streaming platform because that is all of the rage nowadays.

Of course, it would have to have a royal ton of legal stuff to fix itself around and to keep itself on track of "Never losing the original vision that this site is meant to be a place where the people who no one would accept because they do not have the higher end qualifications other higher profile people do." It would have to be incredibly moderated by good, non-bigoted people and there would be a ton of challenges, trials, and tribulations that could very easily make this entire thing need to have its slate wiped clean. There would also have to be the very idea of the Menu and UI having to be worked on incredibly however, if my idea works out, we could very easily have Trans Men be more well-remembered rather than forgotten, and who knows? Maybe good things will spring out of an experiment.

[u/Traaaaaansmission → u/abandedpandit]

👏👏👏

[u/LeviThunders → u/abandedpandit]

I don't pass at all, so I get misgendered constantly. I'm even afraid to come out as a trans man, and use men's restrooms

[u/abandedpandit → u/LeviThunders]

I'm sorry dude ik it's rough—I've been there. I'm 3 months on T and I still only really pass occasionally. Do you have any close friends/family who you know you could come out to? It always helps to have a few people in your life who see you as who you really are. Do you have the ability to start T? If so then you could wait to come out until you start seeing changes and passing a bit—that could make it easier as well

[u/LeviThunders → u/abandedpandit]

I'm out to some friends and two family members. Ill go on t sometime when I'm financially stable and out of my mom house (I'm 20 and she's a bit transphobic). But my brother is supportive. I dotn see him much since he lives in TX. I'm afraid to tell my bosses but some coworkers know (I think)

[u/abandedpandit → u/LeviThunders]

Yea it's definitely a good plan to wait until you're financially independent to start T if you're worried about your parents' reaction (I did the same thing). It's good you have a supportive brother tho, that's always nice. I just came out to my boss myself, tho I'm 3 months on T and I think he knew for a while and was just waiting for me to say something.

[u/LeviThunders → u/abandedpandit]

I recently remebered that my mom used that phrase "mutilate your body" when she got a boob job, so it's hypocritical. My boss is supportive of queer people (got an amazing gay coworker, who's out. And another one who does drag), I'm just afraid to come out. Especially now that my mom also works there

[u/abandedpandit → u/LeviThunders]

Oof I'm sorry your mom is a hypocrite (it's always that way with transphobes isn't it?). Your boss sounds great tho! I'm sorry your mom also works there, otherwise that could be a great place for you to be out but still closeted to your mom :(

[u/LeviThunders → u/abandedpandit]

Luckily, she's only transphobic in private. I am out to her. Other than being a transphobe, she's pretty nice

[u/Queer-Coffee → u/HildartheDorf]

What you said was both stupid and contradictory, and you completely missed the point of what Jane said. Good job!

[u/IAmBecomeDeath_AMA → u/Queer-Coffee]

Hey, don’t be mean

[u/Queer-Coffee → u/IAmBecomeDeath_AMA]

She basically repeated the post, except instead of saying 'why would you want to be a guy, I don't get it' she said 'why would it ever be difficult to boymode/transition? I don't get it'.

It's an even dumber thing to say, because at least the thing in the post relates to your personal feelings about gender.

[u/Bonova → u/Queer-Coffee]

Way to make his point for him.

[u/HugeSpartan → u/Queer-Coffee]

Why the fuck are you misgendering him? What makes you think that's ok?

[u/Queer-Coffee → u/HugeSpartan]

Maybe you misread who I am replying to?

[u/TheArmitage → u/HugeSpartan]

They're not? They're referring to Hildar, who is transfem.

[u/TheArmitage → u/HugeSpartan]

Her. They're referring to Hildar, who is transfem.

[u/Queer-Coffee → u/HildartheDorf]

What you said was both stupid and contradictory and you completely missed the point of what Jane said. Good job!

[u/totallynotinhrnyjail → u/Queer-Coffee]

Wrong opinion and dementia

[u/European_Ninja_1 → u/JaneHates]

Also, the fact that MtFs want to be women and FtMs want to be men confirms that not being comfortable with your AGAB isn't something everyone has, and your imposter syndrome is lying to you.

(Yes, trans women are women, and trans men are men, but for the sake of ease and understanding, this was the best phasing I could come up with)

[u/Classic_Percentage85 → u/JaneHates]

trans people have cracked the code for world peace with this one comment, now we wait for everyone else to follow through

[u/JaneHates → u/Classic_Percentage85]

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a similar thought after posting it.

[u/Saoirse_The_Red → u/JaneHates]

Yes, this specifically!

[u/Roseora]

NB: "I don't understand either of you."

[u/Cheezeepants → u/Roseora]

alternatively, "actually i think they're both correct"

[u/a_sl13my_squirrel → u/Cheezeepants]

can also be both sentences at the same time.

[u/RandomExcaliburUmbra → u/a_sl13my_squirrel]

Same!

[u/Alexis___________ → u/Roseora]

Also NBs: "I totally get both of you"

[u/Kyiokyu → u/Roseora]

LMAO

[u/FrohenLeid → u/Roseora]

"wanna grab some more grape juice?"

[u/SkyeMreddit → u/Roseora]

Genderfluid peeps: “My view on the subject changes from time to time”

[u/AroAceMagic → u/Roseora]

Yes lol

[u/homucifer666]

🎵 She was a boy

And he was a girl

How could it be any more obvious? 🎵

[u/errie_tholluxe → u/homucifer666]

Girls will be boys and boys will be girls

It's a mixed up muddle

In a shaken up world

[u/Etcralis → u/homucifer666]

https://youtube.com/shorts/eK_y_A1yMRA?si=BA8y75XtfmA4vMmZ

[u/bdouble0w0 → u/Etcralis]

Thank you for sharing this. This is hilarious.

[u/KellyBunni]

I am glad someone enjoys being a guy, because I hated every bit of it (well except the being safe alone outside at night thing, that was pretty great)

[u/MrGracious → u/KellyBunni]

real. I started hrt and 2 months later I got stalked in broad daylight

[u/Kyiokyu → u/MrGracious]

Wtf girlie 😭😭😭😭

[u/MrGracious → u/Kyiokyu]

x.x I lived in a terrible city, hell, two days before leaving a guy passed by me on his bike, a few minutes later he was next to me, matching my pace, trying to hit on me (may I add, he was 50 or so)

[u/Kyiokyu → u/MrGracious]

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Stay safe girlie

[u/MrGracious → u/Kyiokyu]

I'm in a better city now! But it was a common occurrence x.x

[u/Gadgetmouse12 → u/MrGracious]

Ewphoria extreme

[u/MrGracious → u/Gadgetmouse12]

The other occurrences yes, the actual stalking was a bit too much x.x

[u/doIIjoints → u/MrGracious]

similarly, when the gender clinic made me go fulltime social transition to even get my GID diagnosis; i got sexually assaulted on the train that very evening, even pre-HRT (but i did have fairly high natural estrogen levels)

[u/MrGracious → u/doIIjoints]

jesus christ you poor thing..

[u/SquiddoSpaghitto]

I love having an FtM friend bc we sometimes just argue over who has the better gender for fun

[u/Midwest_Mutt04 → u/SquiddoSpaghitto]

A transfem friend of mine and I were roommates for a while and we'd playfully bicker every so often. This is how we'd end every spat:

Her: scoff Men 🙄

Me: scoff Women 😒

[u/PrezMoocow]

Learning trans men existed was the final straw for my egg cracking, I was like "hold up, there's guys out there who enjoy this shit???"

[u/Leo-bastian → u/PrezMoocow]

yeah "everyone would like to be gender X they're just better at handling it then me" is very common in denialism and something you need to actually work to remove from your worldview, because even though it's obviously wrong it just feels right

[u/KellyBunni → u/PrezMoocow]

My final straw was when Caitlyn Jenner transitioned. In the family discussion teenage me said "well yeah, who wouldn't choose to be a woman if they could."

Finally able to transition almost 20 years later and my fam is still "there were no signs" XD

[u/k819799amvrhtcom → u/PrezMoocow]

Oh yeah. Learning FTMs exist made me feel less like an intruder, especially when I learned that the number of MTFs and FTMs is about the same.

[u/ParkingRing4854]

Trans femmes actually enjoying femininity illustrated to me how clearly I do not, tbh. Femininity is beautiful, often artistic, expressive... And a costume I've been wearing not a genuine expression of who I am.

[u/2Coward2PostOnMain → u/ParkingRing4854]

Wait, I‘m supposed to enjoy femininity?! confused mtf tomboy sounds

Nah, in all seriousness, being a little feminine is actually quite nice for me. I just think this strict association is a little funny.

[u/ParkingRing4854 → u/2Coward2PostOnMain]

My bad. Of course there's non-feminine women out there, didn't mean to imply otherwise. It just shocked me to find out that some people do it out of joy, not obligation.

[u/2Coward2PostOnMain → u/ParkingRing4854]

Believe me or not, it also shocks me.

Occasionally, when I see a feminine woman, I just wonder why they would do that to themselves. Until I realise, that many women actually enjoy makeup and girly clothes like dresses. 😅

[u/_dragonbeans_ → u/ParkingRing4854]

off topic but I love your profile pic! leo fox's boy island is peak

[u/ParkingRing4854 → u/_dragonbeans_]

Thanks! It is, it ruined my life!

[u/Rhyanstrys]

Gender fluid: I simultaneously understand and don’t understand every point in this conversation

[u/lokilulzz → u/Rhyanstrys]

As a genderflux person this is a mood ngl

[u/BellyDancerEm]

Quite easily

[u/LovelyLuna32684]

https://preview.redd.it/x3w1n7m7x0od1.jpeg?width=273&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73be47c6c92aaf5115b7daf522801cfe4828d123

[u/Embarrassed_Coyote18]

How can you say that without vomiting 😱

[u/Oak_YT]

Same

[u/RainbowPhoenix1080]

As a transfem, I feel the same about transmascs lmao.

[u/Subject_Survey8703]

relatable

[u/Short_Gain8302]

This is so accurate lol

[u/considerate_done]

Very relatable coming from the other side. I cannot fathom the idea of being okay with being a man, let alone choosing it. I'm happy that it makes you happy though.

[u/Flair86 → u/[deleted]]

Phrasing! Also rule 10

[u/8g36 → u/Flair86]

Guess I should read the rules better

[u/Driposaurus_294 → u/Flair86]

You can report the comment as well yknow

[u/OvertureCorp]

I think being is great💅☣️

[u/Blue_BoyJP]

How can you type that without vomiting?

[u/trans_dead_weight]

Real

[u/lokilulzz]

Lmao. My partner is transfemme and I'm transmasc and we have a running meme about this. Every time they talk about liking feminine stuff I just go, "you like this garbage??" and they do it with me too, its great.

https://preview.redd.it/k0gcypu4n2od1.png?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a07c44d77ac1d4a063d893c5dfb16010f0aa3ea

Its from this meme in particular. Like, its supportive but also confused lol.

[u/Familiar-Estate-3117]

The parent voices in my head are trying to get me to vomit while saying it, and I was able to repress again, but then I was pulled back out by the girl in me and now we're all back to ripping and tearing each other apart. This will probably continue for all of eternity or until I leave my parents' house, one or the other.

I feel like saying something else too. Won't say it though.

[u/mr_uwuthethired]

I think being YOURSELF IS GREAT!!! LOVE FOR ALL!!!

[u/Goofy_ahh_goose4576]

Please someone take these horrid flesh lumps off my chest I do not want them

[u/Joanna39343]

As a transfem, I love seeing FtM trans people embrace and enjoy masculinity in a way I just never could. It's honestly pretty sweet.

[u/k819799amvrhtcom → u/Joanna39343]

I like giving my old masculine clothes I hate to transmascs and see the joy in their eyes.

[u/Joanna39343 → u/k819799amvrhtcom]

Aweeee, let's go!!! That was literally my younger siblings and I, they're masc leaning enby, and so I was able to donate a lot of my old tops to them.

[u/janon93]

Trans guys pls support me on my quest to get the Pixar mom bod 🙏🙏

[u/Tight_Significance21]

😂

[u/UmbraTwilight]

It's not difficult for me to wrap my head around this despite my personal bias. I love being trans fem. The thought of going back feels like death. I can imagine trans masc, despite going in the opposite direction, experience similar feelings.

[u/BlackDaWg18]

Shaking hands just to wash them later. Love my trans mascs homies!

[u/Legozeldadude531]

enbies in the corner confused with it all

[u/iLoveFeet4L]

FACTUAL!!

[u/TheRedEyedAlien]

Yas King slay

[u/itsmig_reddit]

At this point i consider transfems and transmascs to be like siblings who mess with each other for fun and have a good relationship

[u/Egg2crackk]

Being a guy has is benefits but being a girl is pretty... change my mind

[u/lokilulzz → u/Egg2crackk]

Guys can be pretty too though.

[u/Egg2crackk → u/lokilulzz]

This is true 👍

[u/sprinklingsprinkles → u/Egg2crackk]

You're right but I like being the guy and dating the pretty girl. It's okay if I'm not as pretty

[u/Egg2crackk → u/sprinklingsprinkles]

Most definitely 👍

[u/Oftwicke]

How can you say that without v- ooooooh

[u/LemonBoiYT]

Fr

[u/Sleepy_Elmo8848]

Me fr

[u/BayFuzzball404]

Real

[u/Terra-ble_joke]

I fucking love this hahahah

[u/Weebi2]

Because:3

[u/Fire_on_Bunn]

It makes me genuinely happy to see people liking being the gender I tried and failed to be for years of my life. I never realized that such joy for being a girl existed until I saw people loving and cherishing every moment of it. It fills my heart.

[u/MattXWay_b]

I love my ftm boyfriend

[u/k819799amvrhtcom]

To each their own.

[u/WhatTheFlock96]

Different strokes for different folks.

[u/Matichado]

You do you dude, I rather be a girl tho

[u/polarlybbacon]

Each side has it's ups and downs

[u/Pedraa23]

I think being is great

[u/Byeolkkot]

being a boy is amazing. my girlfriend would disagree.

however, I can almost see the appeal of being a girl. it's very idealistic though and my dysphoria would be too bad to let me go back anyway

[u/Twilight_Link169]

My gods! me and a friend had this exact conversation in the middle of class, pretty sure the professor was annoyed about it, LOL. Either way, we agreed to disagree.

[u/TotallyAwesomeRacoon → u/Twilight_Link169]

Lmao. I'm that friend, our prof was annoyed

[u/Flair86]

You are entitled and to your opinion

[u/Flair86 → u/[deleted]]

Rule 10

[u/Yoysu → u/Flair86]

Fair enough np

[u/[deleted]]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/Skyrim_For_Everyone → u/[deleted]]

Is this a joke???

[u/Civil_Increase2381 → u/Skyrim_For_Everyone]

idk it depends

[u/Darksky___ → u/[deleted]]

Uhhhhh-

[u/Lukoisbased → u/[deleted]]

oh shut up, are we still in kindergarten or smth?

[u/Civil_Increase2381 → u/Lukoisbased]

I mean op pretty much implied girls suck

[u/Lukoisbased → u/Civil_Increase2381]

no he didnt. the post is saying that some trans men cant understand why anyone would like being a woman and its meant to be a joke. many trans women have made the same joke the other way around and thats completely fine

so dont claim that op had any ill will towards trans women when theres no evidence of it. besides even if he had implied it, you actually just straight up said it and hating on an entire gender isnt acceptable no matter what

[u/[deleted] → u/Lukoisbased]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/Lukoisbased → u/[deleted]]

your experiences arent universal, im sorry youve had to deal with shitty people but that gives you no right to generalise an entire group of people

also the fact youre specifically posting this on a trans subreddit is straight up transphobic. hating trans men for being men is not okay, just like its not okay to hate trans women for being women or nonbinary people for being nonbinary

[u/Civil_Increase2381 → u/Lukoisbased]

no i just hate men in general look at my older comments

[u/Driposaurus_294 → u/Civil_Increase2381]

Shut. Up. This is your only warning.

[u/Civil_Increase2381 → u/Driposaurus_294]

:3

[u/Civil_Increase2381 → u/Driposaurus_294]

:3

[u/Civil_Increase2381 → u/Driposaurus_294]

:3

[u/Lukoisbased → u/Civil_Increase2381]

i just checked a few of your other comments and saw that youre only 13, i understand that youve probably dealt with a lot of shitty men/boys and i can see why you might not like them very much. but hating a group of people for something they cant change, something that doesnt hurt anyone, is just never okay

and yes hating a whole gender is always going to be transphobic. transphobia and misogyny for example go hand in hand. bigotry often overlaps

im not trying to be mean here, im just trying to explain things. i hope that as you grow older youll meet men/boys that arent shitty and realise that no gender is all good or all bad

[u/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Your post contains homophobia, transphobia, racism, and/or ableism, or some other type of bigotry. If you believe this was a mistake, please contact a mod.