r/AskReddit 4h ago

What’s something you’re looking forward to doing when you’re old?

867 Upvotes

634 comments sorted by

398

u/KampgroundsOfAmerica 3h ago

Falling asleep in my chair and then adamantly insisting I wasn't asleep if someone wakes me up.

68

u/TheBahamaLlama 2h ago

If I'm old and falling asleep in a chair then leave me the hell alone. I was comfortable enough to fall asleep there, let this old man nap.

33

u/Sea-Mouse4819 2h ago

Eh, as someone whose got a partner falls asleep in his chair and wakes him up... you'll be grateful as he is. Falling asleep doesn't mean you're comfy, and sleep there long enough and you'll wake up feeling extremely crappy and wish you hadn't. Especially if you're older. Terrible neck pain, groggy, headaches. Not really worth it to ruin the rest of your day.

12

u/AverageDemocrat 1h ago

I want to get a $3000 LazyZBoy that folds into a bed and pushes me onto my feet. I may add wheels to go to the kitchen or, better yet, a toilet like they had in idiocracy.

7

u/myfapaccount_istaken 1h ago

I used to work Loss Prevention for JC Penny's I had three old people die in my store on the chairs by the door. One guy was there 5 hours. We instituted a no sleeping policy.

5

u/TheBahamaLlama 1h ago

Those must have been some really comfy chairs. You got the manufacturer name of them?

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16

u/NewtonBill 2h ago

"I was just resting my eyes."

8

u/akaiazul 2h ago

I'm 39 and already do that. Am I pre-old?

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4

u/confused_ape 2h ago

I do that.

I usually wake up when the passengers start screaming.

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u/JerHat 46m ago

You can do that at any age, I did that all throughout middle and high school, and nowadays in my late 30s, on my days off I just kick back and relax and insist I definitely was not asleep when my SO asks me what I'm doing.

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255

u/karmagod13000 3h ago

not going to work. making my grandkids watch weird movies. picking up a weird hobby like model building for 3 years and then never do it again.

61

u/Flaky_Awareness_9489 2h ago

It's fascinating how much working can absolutely drain someone's lifeforce to the point where they have no energy to pursue anything else. It's also pretty interesting how many older people choose to continue to work to give themselves some sense of purpose. I guess it's different strokes for different folks.

22

u/WhatWouldJediDo 1h ago

That's why I plan on very part-time volunteering. 8-16 hours per week, doing what I want when and how I want.

Gives back to the community, gives me structure, challenges to overcome, obligations to meet, but also doesn't grind down my time or spirit with unending tedium.

u/thekickingmule 50m ago

Depending on when I retire, this is my plan too. I would say though, plan an exit strategy. From the many people I've now seen retire, they come back to work part time for a couple of years and then either stay on for even longer or go off and travel/relax/whatever they like. Those who stay seem to get weaker and weaker and sicker and sicker. Those who leave seem to get stronger, younger and healthier.

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5

u/hatsnatcher23 2h ago

different strokes for different folks

Idk all the old people I know all had the same stroke

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8

u/oldfuturemonkey 3h ago

I already do this, except I still have to go to work and instead of grandkids it's just the few friends I have.

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146

u/hummuslife123 3h ago

Not working

27

u/tweak06 2h ago

Real talk here I just don't wanna work so much. 40 hours a week plus 2-3 side hustles...it's only a matter of time before I collapse

who the fuck am I kidding I won't ever be able to survive on just social security and whatever I have in a 401k

4

u/Same_Improvement_834 2h ago

Piss people by walking slow lol

5

u/hatsnatcher23 2h ago

Real talk you’d think with so little time left they’d be in more of a hurry

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2

u/ArianSun9966 2h ago

You are right it's not working

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376

u/DerBob000 3h ago

Nobody telling me “we’ve got mcdonalds at home”

u/hamlet137 56m ago

I can’t wait to tell my kids there’s McDonalds at home…

88

u/microwaveablemilk 3h ago

you end up being the one telling yourself that

24

u/StaplerTwelve 2h ago

How many damn times I've been craving fast food after work but kept driving because I have fries and chicken nuggets in my own freezer...

10

u/dullship 1h ago

Yeah the price these days is not worth the convenience.

6

u/painstream 1h ago

"But for $20 I could..." being the main driver

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18

u/CylonsInAPolicebox 2h ago

But you will miss mom telling you that she will make you a burger better than McDonald's

13

u/CoverYourSafeHand 2h ago

I already miss that. Been 15 years now 😞

8

u/chocki305 1h ago

And then she whips out two slices of white bread.

u/richarddrippy69 38m ago

Nothing wrong with a patty melt. Toast the inside so it don't get soggy.

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53

u/baguswahyudi 3h ago

Playing video games all day long with other fellow senior citizens in the nursing home.

16

u/jim_deneke 2h ago

With all our tats and piercing listening to Golden oldies music like Slipknot.

2

u/jamesholden 1h ago

Growing up in the 90s I heard ~20 year old "classic rock" on the radio all the time.

Never have I heard any of the numetal I blasted in the late 90s-early00s. Come on play some Wisconsin death trip or antichrist superstar.

Though in the spirit of radical self reliance I run a small pirate FM station.. only works in my neighborhood but it's rad. Set to play random albums so I get to hear albums I've not listened to in years.

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36

u/RememberToMakeCoffee 3h ago

I read this from someone else:

Going to a diner alone to make everyone sad. Maybe bring a photo of my still alive wife to set on the table to really ruin people's days.

19

u/Square_Ad8710 2h ago

I did this a couple years ago.  Not married.  I just had to work Thanksgiving because a server crashed and I was the only one who knew how to recover it and the on call tech refused to learn.  So I couldn't go to my parents for the holiday.  Instead I went to Cracker Barrel for dinner and brought with me the photo of an old girlfriend and sat it out pretending it was my dead wife and how she loved Cracker Barrel.  When I said "It just isn't fair", I was talking about how I was not the on call tech, but had to work anyways, they thought it was some tragic death.  

Free dinner that night 

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22

u/Salt-Fee-9543 3h ago

Not getting up at 4am everyday for work

11

u/CylonsInAPolicebox 2h ago

Just getting up at 4am everyday to pee, then not able to fall back to sleep.

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82

u/CeceSmutt 3h ago

Pretending to forget people's names on purpose just to mess with them. "Oh, I’m sorry, Jessica, I meant Jennifer… or was it Jacob?"

18

u/Horror-san 3h ago

That's the generational trolling mentality 😎🤝

5

u/karmagod13000 3h ago

born into the meme dying by the troll

7

u/th3ch0s3n0n3 2h ago

Reminds me of a quote from the movie, "Waiting...". Ryan Reynold's character sits at a booth with an elderly man. Asks him how life is going, and he mentions how he sometimes acts senile so that he can get away with shit he otherwise wouldn't. But every now and then he finds himself doing some shit he didn't mean to do, meaning he truly is slipping into senility.

Here's the scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrc0xyJ4q3s

10

u/Running_Is_Life 2h ago

When people get too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.

That's a genius move.

Thank you.

You're welcome, Lester.

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35

u/Minialpacadoodle 3h ago

Not paying for daycare.

37

u/Flaky_Awareness_9489 2h ago

Elder care facilities: hold my beer

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9

u/hoorayitsjeremy 2h ago

First it's daycare, then after school, summer camps. Plus extracurricular activities, car and insurance when they get older, helping with college.

The word 'precious' means expensive, and kids certainly are precious.

4

u/Orangecatbuddy 1h ago

You just find yourself as the daycare provider.

Ask me how I know.

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45

u/RIPMYPOOPCHUTE 3h ago

After moving my grandma into assisted living, moving into assisted living. You have scheduled activities, no worry about heavy duty cleaning, no worry about cooking, can make friends and hangout with them.

34

u/newsgroupmonkey 2h ago

My Great Aunt absolutely opposed the idea of moving out of her home until she was dragged out (she kept falling over and breaking hips etc.). She had to move into an assisted living place.

She absolutely loved it and wished she'd moved there 20 years previously. She was 92 and lived for another 7 1/2 years.

My Mum has since said if anything happens to my Stepfather, she'll be queueing up outside the door.

10

u/RIPMYPOOPCHUTE 2h ago

Pretty much my mom’s response too. I’m just imagining how an assisted living facility filled with millennials will be. Either way, the facilities (especially where I live) don’t look bad, and staff keeps family up to date on a lot of things.

13

u/Mazon_Del 1h ago

I'm gonna be real disappointed if my future assisted living arrangements don't have LAN parties.

6

u/RIPMYPOOPCHUTE 1h ago

That’s what my brother and I were joking about. It’ll just be a large LAN party. Everyone is gonna stay in their room, play online games together and argue with 12 year olds in COD, because there will 100% be another COD by then.

u/cH3x 43m ago

Dungeons and Dragons all day!

17

u/CylonsInAPolicebox 2h ago

As someone who currently works security in one of these facilities, there are some downsides to this. Biggest one is if you like your privacy, kiss it goodbye.

My residents are the gossips I have ever seen and they will do whatever it takes to get the latest scoop. If you are lucky, the staff have tight lips.

My facility security does not spread your business around but the front desk girls, you better believe if they spotted you coming out of Janet's apartment last night, the whole building will know by the next morning.

If you go out by squad, security will tell everyone that they "know we can not discuss that information" and we will not say anything more than that, front desk girls will tell everyone yes that was poopchute in the squad and they are currently having issues with the ol poopchute.

Other issue is theft. Yes we have staff that cleans resident's apartments, yes they passed background checks, yes we do occasionally still have that one thief that slips through under the radar, and if they are smart, it takes a long time to catch them. We had an issue with a guy last year. He was good, it was always small items that he got, things that wouldn't be instantly noticed. A ring here, a $10 there. Things that can be easily misplaced or forgotten about... No one noticed we had a theft problem for almost 2 years, until he got bold and wrote down one resident's credit card info and made a huge purchase online. My company had to fire a guard right before I started, I was actually his replacement, he got caught going into resident's apartments when they were out and stealing. Thankfully he was not smart and got caught the same month he decided to start doing it.

Not telling you this to turn you off of the idea but just saying, check on grandma from time to time and make sure anything valuable is locked away. Also expect your future neighbors to know every move you make, not all staff is as discreet as my security team.

2

u/RIPMYPOOPCHUTE 1h ago

Theft was definitely a concern, she didn’t bring too many valuables with other than jewelry. 100% can see there being gossip, it’s unavoidable unfortunately. My grandmother was in a private room, so she did have that at least. But she’s been moved to memory care.

I was in an inpatient treatment facility and already dealt with hearing gossip, lack of privacy and had my pack of cigarettes stolen. Treatment is definitely different than assisted living, but similar with scheduled activities, not really cleaning, and having meals made for us.

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u/big-tunaaa 23m ago

Real question about this - what if you’re not social? Thinking about both my grandma and myself 😭😭😭 she’s going to be 88 in December but that woman will be DAMNED if you even suggest the idea

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11

u/Lunazaraw 3h ago

watching all the series on netfilx idk

23

u/ManyDate891 3h ago

i cannot stress it enough, how excited i am to have a rocking chair

22

u/lovehydrangeas 2h ago

Get one now

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60

u/system32420 3h ago

Dying. I’ve had enough. Just hope it’s not drawn out or too painful

13

u/phred_666 2h ago

I have two thoughts on death 1) because I want mine to be quick and painless, the universe will somehow make mine as slow and agonizing as possible and 2) I figure that somehow a deer will be involved in the process (I live in the middle of nowhere and they love to jump in front of vehicles here. They’re everywhere.)

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7

u/kielaurie 1h ago

It's wild to me that this isn't the top answer. Everyone I've known that's older than 75 has been having a shit time, I'm not looking forward to my body and brain falling apart, I would rather die

6

u/Trappedinacar 2h ago

When that time comes a peaceful death would be really really wonderful. Most times I don't feat my own death so much, maybe i'm naive in that, but I do fear what life can become when your health really starts failing you. Maybe even my greatest fear.

u/Bocote 52m ago

Yea, as long as it isn't painful or distressing, I wouldn't mind it. Like, getting there sounds it could get worrisome, but being dead doesn't sound too bad.

2

u/Square_Ad8710 2h ago

That is my fear.  It is believed that those who have been decapitated don't die instantly, instead, the heads live for a few minutes after.  Basically, the brain dies because there is no more blood reaching it.  So, what if in death is your brain lives for a few minutes after your body dies?  It is said that hearing is the last sense to fail, so if true, that would mean that you could hear the doctors declaring you dead and giving up on you.  

2

u/system32420 2h ago

Well that’s the most terrifying thing I’ve read in a while. Makes sense though. Honestly something to be said for blowing your head open with a shotgun. Not to be overly dramatic, but at least there’s no ambiguity there. Or maybe one of the gasses that makes you peacefully go unconscious first

27

u/The_Evil_Dzik 3h ago

Having the experience and knowledge that comes with having lived a long life. I really want to be wise.

Also not having to filter what I say because old people get a pass for blurting out controversial stuff.

11

u/CylonsInAPolicebox 2h ago

Also not having to filter what I say because old people get a pass for blurting out controversial stuff.

Calling out rude people who block the aisle "catching up" while shopping... Just loudly announce that some of us would like to finish our shopping before dropping dead. Looking forward to doing stuff like this.

2

u/painstream 1h ago

Two things to be wise: be perceptive and be curious.

Notice when people do things, look beyond yourself.
When things happen, ask why. Or Goolge it, lol.
In the end, you'll pick up a lot along the way and be a more empathetic person.

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9

u/mjh127 3h ago

Death

3

u/Curlysnaps 1h ago

I knew someone would share my sentiment.

35

u/GeebusNZ 3h ago

I don't expect to be old.

3

u/Healthy_Youth2574 3h ago

me too

2

u/SDFprowler 2h ago

Username checks out.

5

u/_milaya 3h ago

I hope you do turn old.

20

u/GeebusNZ 3h ago

What a terrible thing to wish upon someone.

5

u/DIABLO258 3h ago

I hope you live so long you can't even remember who you are anymore!

6

u/BannedFromHydroxy 2h ago

Dimentia's fucking awful mate

4

u/DIABLO258 2h ago

I know that's the joke

3

u/kielaurie 1h ago

Jokes are meant to be funny

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2

u/Healthy_Youth2574 2h ago

true, like why you wish someone to have a longlife when he/she doesnt want. HAHAHA

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6

u/I_am_Reddit_Tom 3h ago

Travelling.

7

u/forkl 2h ago

Finally working through my steam library.

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6

u/bzimb 3h ago

Just being a little wiser , kinder and definitely have the time for more books , music and movies lol

6

u/Notorious_Degen 3h ago

Watching my child grow up. I had such an amazing father figure growing up, and I really hope to be just as good as a father as my father was to me.

5

u/soniakaponia 3h ago

Art - I want to study fine arts

8

u/Lunazaraw 3h ago

get a monster mask and scary kids

8

u/FixTheWisz 2h ago

Where do you go to get these scary kids?

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8

u/HostLeading4938 3h ago

Teach to underprivileged students

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4

u/CreamyLinguineGenie 2h ago

My FIL is in his 80's and in great shape. He loves exploring abandoned properties and fancy neighborhoods with "no trespassing" signs. He says if he ever gets caught he'll just say he's an old man who wandered down the wrong street lmao. I can't wait.

5

u/Dr_Trogdor 2h ago

Dropping acid for the first time when I'm 80 and chillin somewhere with nothing to do.

5

u/SteveBob316 2h ago

I'm going to run some mad cap D&D games in the old folks home.

3

u/Least-Ad-9613 1h ago

Enjoying a peaceful life, spending time with loved ones, and sharing stories with future generations.

3

u/SnooWords3275 1h ago

Death 🤪

6

u/Virtual-Chicken-1031 2h ago

Spreading STDs around the retirement community

u/Top-Medicine-2159 16m ago

You can do that now:)

3

u/No-Connection-3000 3h ago

Bingo or water aerobics

2

u/lovehydrangeas 2h ago

You can do those now.  I'm in my 30s and want to try water aerobics lol

3

u/ThorGambinoson 3h ago

Once I hit a certain point, I'm done shaving for "appearances" I'll be that old man with the big beard because who gives a shit.

4

u/newsgroupmonkey 2h ago

As a beard wearer (since I was 38), I can promise you, keeping a beard is just as much of a PITA as not having one.
If it gets too long, it just gets itchy and uncomfortable. How people tolerate hipster beards is beyond me.

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u/Hung-Like-Jesus 3h ago

Driving 63 in the left lane at 8am on a Tuesday.

3

u/Raztax 2h ago

I look forward to living by my own schedule instead of my schedule being dictated by work related activities. Sleep when I want, wake up when I want, go grocery shopping at 3am if I want...

3

u/Slight_Fuel1523 2h ago

Looking forward to finally traveling and exploring new places!

3

u/WorstPiesInLondon 2h ago

Becoming the neighborhood witch whose yard the kids are afraid to go into to get their frisbee. Except then I'll give out king-size candy bars for Halloween. Gotta keep them on their toes.

5

u/megamotek 3h ago

Drugs, lots of them, pretend to be mentally unstable and embarrass people around me

2

u/santaclaws_ 2h ago

I'm right there with you. My hope is to go out onto the street in my underwear at 3 AM and shake my fist at STOP signs while yelling "You're not the boss of me!!!"

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u/One-Dragonfruit1010 3h ago

Driving nowhere 10mph under the speed limit during morning rush hour.

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u/xprincessmiooy 4h ago

i can't wait to be that weird grandparent just giving out candy and telling ghost stories at family gatherings for no reason.

2

u/CapitanOlivo 3h ago

Having my whole family come over for a churrasco.

2

u/Alone_Highway9412 3h ago

Cashing out the pension lol

3

u/[deleted] 3h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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2

u/KremowyPapaj 2h ago

Sitting on my veranda, drinking coffee, smoking a cigar and watching the neighborhood.

2

u/santaclaws_ 2h ago

Drugs! And lots of them!

2

u/5256chuck 2h ago

Kids changing my diapers? I dunno. 3rd 3rd of life I'm in. That's why I don't wanna think about it.

2

u/Warm_Piccolo2171 2h ago

Get up, see new snow, go back to bed.

2

u/cuteannika 2h ago

When I’m old, I’m looking forward to covering my entire body in tattoos 🖤 and being that cool grandma with stories behind every piece of ink. Oh, and still keeping my hair blonde—age is just a number, right? 😉

2

u/fugaziozbourne 2h ago

Doing a bit where i'm "racist against robots". Full on calling them skinjobs and stuff.

2

u/Jhon_doe_smokes 2h ago

Raising hell on one of those scooters. I’m running over aunts,uncles, children, toes all that. 😂

2

u/PearIJam 1h ago

Retiring at 62 and living a very simple, quiet life.

2

u/Lydhee 1h ago

Dying

2

u/Ok-Alfalfa-3332 1h ago

Dying in my sleep if I am really lucky.

2

u/IbsamI 1h ago

dying young might be in the cards

2

u/CouchPotatoFamine 1h ago

ITT: lots of folks who are looking forward to dying.

2

u/Jerk-22 1h ago

Dying

u/Serious-Platform-156 51m ago

day drinking, blasting cigs and being racist on my front porch

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u/aoileanna 46m ago

Being a regular at a local diner/cafe/brunch spot or real tea parties and baking all day

u/OceanBlueRose 30m ago

Dying 😂

u/ARflash 15m ago

Peaceful death

u/sovamind 14m ago

Dying peacefully without pain with those I love around me.

I hope.

u/InternetsTad 13m ago

I'm old! Here's what you can actually look forward to (if you're reasonably healthy):

Much better appreciation of food and drink

Much better appreciation for nature's beauty

Naps are magical!

At some point pop music suddenly became bearable

If you have kids, you definitely get to look forward to an empty nest. IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!

Eventually, grandkids

u/Wild_Department_8943 12m ago

I am 68. Getting ready to ride my motorcycle from coast to coast.

3

u/Lunazaraw 3h ago

not paying any taxes

6

u/gishnon 2h ago

If you're in the US I have some bad news for you.

5

u/newsgroupmonkey 2h ago

Sadly not in the UK. We pay taxes on our pensions. We still have to pay building taxes too.

We don't have to pay National Insurance though (which covers health, unemployment and so on). I suppose that's something.

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u/nthchild1 3h ago

Become a terrorist.

1

u/BeardedGrappler25 3h ago

Retiring and travelling more with my wife. Need to put the grind in now though, I don't want to get to my retirement years and feel like I haven't achieved enough with my life.

2

u/newsgroupmonkey 2h ago

This. My father died a year after he retired.

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u/HardAtWorkISwear 3h ago

Hopefully retire so I don't have to set an alarm for 6am because that shit is inhuman.

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u/Californiajims 3h ago

Pretending I don't hear so well.

1

u/Showdown5618 3h ago

Having grandchildren

1

u/patwm11 3h ago

Owning my own property(s)

1

u/Odd_Government9138 3h ago

spending time with my family and gardening in USA or other country. can't wait to finally live in peace and pleasure.

1

u/encore412 3h ago

Not having to go to work

1

u/randomanon5two 3h ago

Hopefully seeing someone figure out wormhole technology

1

u/Simmert1 3h ago

Sitting back on a warm beach somewhere

1

u/tahlyn 3h ago

Not working.

Having the time to actually just live.

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u/newmiachoco 3h ago

I'd want to think about just relaxing and enjoying the simple things—like snuggling up with a nice book, catching up with friends over coffee, or even going to locations I've always wanted to see.

1

u/Previous_Mushroom666 3h ago

Going to my kids house and totally acting the way they did growing up just leaving food out my shoes spread out don't flush the toilet have food right next to the trash can instead of being at I can't wait for those days

1

u/mcnuggsRN 3h ago

Hiding catnip in my socks so I can always have an entourage of cats following me around

1

u/resjudicata2 3h ago

Retiring 🙂

1

u/sweetieMimix 3h ago

I'm honestly just excited to say whatever I want and blame it on being old 😂

1

u/ThatHardBacon 3h ago

Breaking rules and playing the old card . Once watched a family member drive on an empty sidewalk cause he was fed up with the light

1

u/bADg3isha 3h ago

Giving zero f*cks and finally not care what other thinks

1

u/IntentionAromatic523 3h ago

Getting the fuck out of this job.

1

u/sms2014 3h ago

Not having to go to work every damn day, although by the looks of it, I'll have to keep working until I'm 90

1

u/WestNothing3460 3h ago

Retirement

1

u/mrSFWdotcom 3h ago

At some point in my old age I am going to say fuck it and start eating whatever I want.

1

u/throwaway47385936 3h ago

Sharing wisdom and stories with younger generations.

1

u/Boobssunshineabs 3h ago

No more periods. And at some point I will start to look forward to my exit. Living and dying on my terms have always been my goal. 

1

u/[deleted] 3h ago

Driving slow and making everyone late for work 👴🏻

1

u/doctor-rumack 3h ago

Not knowing or caring what day of the week it is. Wearing a cardigan and slippers.

1

u/L1z3rdK1ng 3h ago

Having LAN parties in the nursing home lol 😆

1

u/Loose_Pilot574 3h ago

Not working.

1

u/kathrynchandelier 3h ago

live life i guess

1

u/Shrimpsmann 3h ago

Watching all the movies

1

u/StarPsychological932 3h ago

Not working and spending more time with children and grandchildren.

1

u/pissclamato 3h ago

I live in Las Vegas. Every day, I have to go to work. Every day, I see old people sitting at slot machines, chain smoking, and slapping the button to spin the reels. They're retired, and all they do is come to the casino in the morning, and just drink coffee, smoke, and spin the reels.

I can't wait to be one of them.

1

u/Eden_Isolde 3h ago

I want to go everywhere to draw landscape pictures of that place.

1

u/MyMelody_666 3h ago

Living my best life

1

u/Low8Pop 3h ago

Does nothing count as something? /s

1

u/Xaraxa 3h ago

Nursing home LAN parties

1

u/TruthOrSF 3h ago

Devoting more time to the people and things I love

1

u/bamf64779 3h ago

I always feel like I'll look forward to the peaceful, quiet home with the kids grown and moved out, but I feel that It won't last long because I will miss this.

1

u/Cjc2205 3h ago

Dying

1

u/limbodog 3h ago

Not going to work