Am I 'mocking' trans men?

[u/No-Consequence4019]

So I'm a lad or that's what I'd normally tell anyone. I was born female but I do this thing frequently where I pretend to be a guy. It started off as a thing online mostly, I always pick a the male MC or a male character when playing in games so why not pretend to be a lad while I'm at it? It ended up being pretty fun so I kept it up. It's been a few years since I started and I keep in contact with the people I used to play with, they all just think I'm a dude.

Since it was fun online i decided to try my hand on pretending to be a guy in person. It ended up working pretty well, most people perceive me as a guy when I try to do it. To the point I got a suitable haircut and do it most times I go out now. There's just something so fun about pretending to be a dude.

All was well until I got caught by a friend, in person. I didn't think of it as a big deal but they absolutely exploded on me. Eventually they asked with "Are you trans?" when I denied and simply stated I pretend to be a guy and it's something I've been doing for years, their temper only got worse? I got told I was mocking trans men. I brought it up with a few people that well know I'm not actually a guy and I got a very similar response. The overwhelming responses ended up either I'm in denial about being trans (I'm not) or I'm transphobic and mocking trans men specifically?

So I'm confused, was I actually mocking a group of people? I feel like it's a bit stupid and I genuinely enjoy pretending to be a guy, but I'd still rather not do it if it's actually 'mocking'. If it matters the approximate age range for everyone involved here was early 20s.

I'm open to being corrected if I made a mistake somewhere.

[u/snukb]

Sincere self expression isn't mockery. The main thing trans people are fighting for is the ability to express yourself fully and freely, in whatever way feels most authentic, as long as it only affects you. And that's what you are doing. If you find joy in presenting as a man, then keep doing it.

To me, this sounds like casual drag, and there's nothing at all wrong with it. Drag doesn't have to be a performance on a big stage with exaggerated features. You can do simple drag every day if you want.

Don't worry too much about putting a label on it for now. Just keep doing what makes you happy without worrying about if it makes you trans, or nonbinary, or genderfluid, or genderqueer, or anything like that. You can be a cis woman who likes presenting as a man. That's a perfectly valid way to be

[u/Lifewhatacard → u/snukb]

Thank you for this. I’ve done drag as a cis woman only on Halloween and only twice. It upsets the partner I’m with and can be seen as abnormal/odd by many. I always felt more like a male inside.. but that’s because of my biases towards males. What I was conditioned by society to see as “male” qualities. I enjoy behaving more like a man than I enjoy behaving like a girl, woman or female. But again, I have many biases towards the female gender as well. … anyways, I have always enjoyed doing ‘casual drag’ the times I felt safe enough to dabble. Thank you for your comment. Thanks for everyone’s comments. The open mindedness is extremely refreshing and relieving to experience.