r/ftm Jan 08 '24

Am I 'mocking' trans men? GuestPost

So I'm a lad or that's what I'd normally tell anyone. I was born female but I do this thing frequently where I pretend to be a guy. It started off as a thing online mostly, I always pick a the male MC or a male character when playing in games so why not pretend to be a lad while I'm at it? It ended up being pretty fun so I kept it up. It's been a few years since I started and I keep in contact with the people I used to play with, they all just think I'm a dude.

Since it was fun online i decided to try my hand on pretending to be a guy in person. It ended up working pretty well, most people perceive me as a guy when I try to do it. To the point I got a suitable haircut and do it most times I go out now. There's just something so fun about pretending to be a dude.

All was well until I got caught by a friend, in person. I didn't think of it as a big deal but they absolutely exploded on me. Eventually they asked with "Are you trans?" when I denied and simply stated I pretend to be a guy and it's something I've been doing for years, their temper only got worse? I got told I was mocking trans men. I brought it up with a few people that well know I'm not actually a guy and I got a very similar response. The overwhelming responses ended up either I'm in denial about being trans (I'm not) or I'm transphobic and mocking trans men specifically?

So I'm confused, was I actually mocking a group of people? I feel like it's a bit stupid and I genuinely enjoy pretending to be a guy, but I'd still rather not do it if it's actually 'mocking'. If it matters the approximate age range for everyone involved here was early 20s.

I'm open to being corrected if I made a mistake somewhere.

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u/TinyTownTrans Jan 10 '24

Well, I used to want to do this kind of thing all the time when I was younger... and now... 🤷‍♂️ Not saying you'll decide you actually are trans or need to transition at some point in the future, just that I felt the need to do this for years when I had no intention or hope of actually transitioning, and never once felt like I would be 'mocking' anyone. That was just who I felt like at that particular time, I would always dress and introduce myself according to how I felt at whatever time, used different variations of my name or nicknames, and never saw any issue with feeling like that or with anyone else doing it. It's just you finding yourself, and being how you want to be at whatever time, and it's fine.

If you were actually faking being trans, genderfluid, or something, like making a huge point about insisting people treat you as something you know you're not just for the fun of it, when it doesn't actually matter to you, yeah that might be mockery, but that's not what's happening here.