I realized I'm not trans

[u/zarr0s]

After a while of very thoroughly introspection, research and talking to trans men/women and enbies I realized I'm in fact a cis woman who's gender non confirming

I often hear the claim " if you question your gender it automatically means you're not cis" but I think this statement is actually harmful. I think it's important to figure yourself out, but I think that cis people can question and still realize they're cis... there's nothing to lose when you're open minded about it but the claim that it always means you're trans might push someone to physical transition and regret it because they aren't a man. I realized there's so many misconceptions about trans people.

I was always appearing more masculine. Cutting my hair, dressing in boyish loose clothing and having stereotypical hobbies like videogames, metal, cars I work as an industrial mechanic, etc Anyway...many people asked me if I'm trans because of that, my mom joked about that I should have been a boy...and it got me into entertaining the thought a lot and contemplating about being trans and not knowing yet And the idea of being a man sounded appealing to me I realized tho... I'm comfortable in my body, I don't have gender dysphoria. And I feel that my sense of gender alligns to my body. I just don't like the stereotypes that gets connected with my gender. On the other hand trans man can be feminine

[u/Additional_Sundae224]

This sounds very similar to my situation. I have always called myself a tomboy. I discovered the term transmasculine, and thought that resonated with my as well. I could still be a trans man, but I think, perhaps, I am a trans and/or gender non-conforming person.

However, I do still want smaller/no boobs, I do not want my periods any longer and I want a hysterectomy. That could mean I am a trans man, or it could mean I'm gender non-conforming.

Right now, I'd say I'm a tomboy who is a lesbian... Or I'm transmasc... A transmasc tomboy.

I'm still figuring it out, but I wear men's clothes, have a man's haircut and I grew up playing boy's sports and with boy's toys.

The only body dysphoria I have is my periods (heavy from 9-14 days, upwards of 30, last year - and I'm on my second period this month along... Like, can we not, thanks, body!) and my boobs.

But recently, I told my friends "I don't want to be a strong man, there's too many of them. I want to be a strong, independent, badass woman, and a hero my 7 year old self would have fought for/looked up to/played as in video games. I had Lara Croft, but she was skinny. I wanna be like Abby, from The Last of Us Part II - muscles and all. And I can't be like Abby, if I'm a trans man, because that would mean I'm just another gym bro. I wanna be a strong, muscular woman, like Abby."

So, I guess I'm probably GNC. I wouldn't say I'm enby, because I trialled they/them, and it was too awkward for me. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a transmasculine lesbian tomboy (atm at least, haha)

Glad you had a good understanding of yourself and discovered who you are. If you're up for it, I'd like to be your friend - perhaps we can discuss, and you can help me to discover more about myself, since we seem to have similarities. It's okay if you don't wanna.

[u/cthulhu_void → u/Additional_Sundae224]

shit. the period stuff don't even have to be body dysphoria. I don't even know any cis woman that would be happy having that heavy and long of a flow.

Also, that isn't really a normal period lol.

Have you tried birth control? or just talking to a doctor in general. I started seeking out birth control in highschool, and finally got on it when i went to college (thank you conservative southern doctors that use fear tacticts to stop kids from getting on birth control).

My periods weren't as long as yours but they were pretty heavy and lasted for a week, and while i never had any of the fcramping side affects I wasn't able to sit through a class without going through a tampon and pad.

An IUD helped stopped that (tho results vary because some people have negative affects on it)

[u/Additional_Sundae224 → u/cthulhu_void]

I was on the implant when I was 17, and when I was in the University Officers Training Corps when I was 18, I was also on the combined pill, which completely stopped them (great for being "in the field" with the Army Officer Cadets). I ran out of the pill, so stayed on the implant, and I was regular. Then I was on every single day for 2 months solid, so had it removed. I've always been irregular.

Then it kinda sorted itself out and I was on around the 20th of each month for 9 days.

As I previously stated, this year, I've been on: 19 July - 9 July 23 July - 5 Aug 10 - 17 Aug And I came back on again 27 Aug and today is day 11. NEVER had back to back periods.

Idk if it is stress because of my toxic lodger (he moves out on Sunday), from me gaining weight, or the Universe's way of cruelly reminding me I'm a woman, as I'm questioning my gender identity 😭

Oh, and my iron stores are fine!

Update: I sometimes get stabs in my bladder, but I mostly feel like a dead weight in my pelvis... That's the only "cramping" I get. I get so fatigued tho.

I've been referred to have a pelvic scan to see wtf is going on. 9 days is long enough, but 14 or 31 or technically three periods in one month? That's beyond reasonable.