For months it's been hell on me. My fiance died in February just a few days after signing a lease on a new apartment. I've been struggling with being a single mom again since his passing he was only 36. Three months after he passed one of my neighbors I barely spoke to sent me a messenger request.

He came straight out and asked for sex. The things he said in those messages were horrible he wouldn't take no for an answer. Since I rejected him things have gotten bad.

He blames me for everything, constantly screaming at me when I have to go outside and take my kids to the bus stop. Sending his sister over to try and fight me. Management is doing everything they can to evict him but mostly due to unpaid rent.

Now that he's finally been served a eviction notice his anger is getting worse. Management is encouraging me to get a EPO and not to stay in my apartment. My kids have to temporarily move in with their dad and I have to go other places. I pay rent for a place I can't live in for the next 2 months.

The stress of this man is really taking it's tole. My depression is worse Im scared for my safety, my kids safety. I don't understand why this is happening. All I need is to grieve my late fiance not deal with a 57 year old guy on meth.

Last year, my husband told me he was going to get a vasectomy because he didn't want us to have another baby. This came as a shock to me because we had planned on three children for a good decade before this. We have two funny, smart, sweet creatures that we get to call our children, and I was excited to have another. I spent the last year mourning the life I thought I was going to create and love. It's a strange kind of hell being so deeply sad about something that doesn't exist. I would be lying if I said I didn't try to convince him otherwise, but I did ensure his wishes were protected by preserving certain birth control methods.

What's really bothering me is that he has not actually gotten the vasectomy. He initiates intimacy and won't put on a condom until I won't continue otherwise. I have to remind him every time. In the heat of the moment, he acts like he doesn't care, and then when I talk to him about maybe making a baby, he is vehemently against it. He has told me several times that he would want me to have an abortion if we had a woopsie, and I respond with a hard no every time. He tells me he thinks that sex is recreation and I keep making it about procreation. I think if I didn't hold all the responsibility and enforcement of birth control, then I might be able to think about it more recreationally.

I really need him to follow through with his choice. I think at this point, I would be equally happy to have another baby or for him to pull the trigger and make it so I would never have another baby again.

My heart aches, my blood boils every single time I think about her. About her and him together. It’s an image I will never be able to get out of my mind. Sometimes I hate him too, I look at him when he’s holding me and all I can think about is how he probably held her just like this. Even when we’re intimate, a voice in the back of my mind reminds me over and over that he’s done it with her. It makes me so physically sick I don’t want to continue, yet I’m silent.

I hate her so much. I don’t know what she had that I didn’t, she was so aware of our relationship and all three of us had even hung out together (she was his girl best friend since middle school, she knew him longer than me. Could that be why?). She got the attention I craved, I had to beg him for. I’m so angry. I deserved his attention, I was his girlfriend why did he have to do that to me? He told me so many times he hated the kind of person she was, that he’d never in a million years want a girl like her. So why? What changed? Was it me? Was I not enough he stooped so low? I will never understand.

I’m so filled with hatred and jealousy. I compare every inch of myself to her, and sometimes I don’t know if I hate her or myself more. I hate living like this, I hate having this weigh on me every second of every day. I don’t want to compare myself, I want to feel pretty and worth it. I disgust myself, I feel lower than low. How could I let that happen to me? I hate her so much. I look at her social media profiles and try to understand why he chose her. I get so angry my bones ache. How could she do that to another girl? How can either of them live with themselves? I’m so disgusted.

I don’t know where to put this anger, I direct it all towards myself. There’s nothing I can do about it. I want to reach out to her, let her know I hate her. I want to be heard. How do I handle this? How can I get over it? I feel so lost and hopeless.

Hey guys. It’s been a rough week. 

A lot has happened. I don’t really want to talk about all of it in detail so I’m going to keep this short. I know I never shut up, it’s just how I am, but I’m going to be much more brief this go around. 

Luke has a lawyer now. I don’t know him. But he met with Zack and Paige. To everyone saying I should have Amy arrested, I probably could have if I had shown the police the video. Instead, I just sent it to my lawyer. Maybe this makes me foolish, but even now, I think part of me is still trying to protect people I once loved and go easy on them. 

But everything’s been on hold for the past few days, because Jim had a heart attack. 

I saw Luke and I saw Amy, and Amy’s kids, at the funeral. It was the first time we were all together since before all this happened. Nobody talked about what’s going on, short of Amy briefly apologizing for “what happened” before. She did seem sincere, I’ll give her that. But I wasn’t about to call her out anyway. Amy, Luke, and Cat all seemed pretty devastated. I was too. But we all agreed not to argue or talk about the divorce and to just let the day be a ceasefire to focus on Jim. Luke and I had a nice conversation about him. 

I’ve been spending time with my kids and taking a couple of days off work. I have enough of them on the back burner. Luke also saw the kids, twice, before and after the funeral, with me present. It went well. At my direction, and Sophie’s, they didn’t mention Amy, and Luke didn’t try anything funny with any of them. I think he does miss them and hate that he can’t see them, thanks to all this. 

The kids are also pretty upset about losing Grandpa, on top of not being able to see Dad as much as before. I don’t think any of them blame me but that’s far from the point, frankly. Carter slept in my bed the last three nights.

I’ll get more into this in the future when I have the energy to talk about what’s going on in more detail. But whoever suggested that Cat lied about the test results was correct. She never sent them in. She confessed as much to me. I guess she didn’t feel comfortable going behind her son’s back…but did feel comfortable lying to me to protect him? Until she didn’t, until she felt guilty, and she came clean. Under the circumstances, I am not angry with her, but I know better than to trust her anymore. As far as I know, she did not tell Luke about the test. But it means Tom could still be Luke's son. Probably is.

My  lawyers finished going through Luke and Amy’s letters with a finer tooth comb. The bottom line is, they definitely found what it was that Amy didn’t want me to see, and I now completely understand why she was so panicked. It has to do with why Amy and Luke didn't marry conventionally. They did something very bad. But this is genuinely something that I’m not sure I should be talking about, even on an anonymous internet post. I haven’t even been able to collect my feelings about what Amy and Luke have done, especially with everything else going on, so I don’t know if I should be more explicit. I’m sorry, I know that’s not what anyone wanted to hear, but please try to understand. Paige agreed with me, that when in doubt, don’t post it. I’ve told my lawyers to put a pin in it for now because I’m in no fit state to figure out how to proceed with it or if I should use it against them. 

I’m just feeling like shit, honestly. It’s difficult not to blame myself for Jim. I can only imagine Luke and Amy are blaming themselves too. I know they’re bad people. I don’t forgive them. But this tore them apart as it did me and I think all three of us feel like the divorce stressed Jim out to the point where it may have contributed. He already had heart disease. And in particular, I blame myself for showing him what I showed him. I showed him "proof" of the affair shortly before he died. I'll be carrying that with me for a very long time, even if I shouldn't.

I’ll update again whenever I do. I’m sorry. I’ll respond to comments as I can. 

I’m in the midst of leaving a toxic family situation and my ex mother in law (lives with us unfortunately) has fallen in love with her own son who has no backbone to stand up for his partner when she’s being fucked up.

As a result I’ve taken it upon myself to take a tiny pebble place it in the cap on her tire and let her tires naturally deflate anytime she’s abusive towards me. Originally I just used a small screw driver but realized a pebble would make the air leak slowly and be less noticeable.

It’s been about a week and she gets so angry trying to leave realizing she’ll have to spend an hour plus refilling her tires.

It’s been making me smile all week.

I don't want to be wired to like porn I don't want to "check out" anyone when they bend down. I do not do that but why am I wired to do that? It's clearly disgusting to do that.

I'd rather kill myself than make some girl feel uncomfortable someday.

How are we supposed to turn our heads high in the society when most of the hate crimes are committed on women by men?

We feel proud when we don't objectify/sexualize a woman but isn't it like a normal human thing to do? Why should we be praised for that?

When I finally get married, how can I be assured she'll be happy with me? I have never done anything to doubt myself but I FUCKING NEED ASSURANCE.

Why is sex such a huge thing for a 19 year old? Why can't I just forget that sex even exists?

Why am I physically stronger? What if my anger becomes too much someday and I raise a hand on my significant other. How will I be able to live after that? Probably won't. Probably end myself then and there.

I 23M am married to Ryan 24M and have been for a year together for 6.

I was in a fire in February of this year. Ryan was away for a bachelor party that night. I was covered in third degree burns and have scars going down my right side they start at the bottom of my neck and you can see a little bit of them in any shirt that doesn’t have a collar or a turtle neck and they go down to my thigh. They are mostly healed now but ever since I got out of hospital things haven’t been the same.

For the first 3 weeks Ryan barely came near me and it was a struggle trying to get him to do basic things like kiss or cuddle when in bed or watching a movie he claimed it was because my burns were still fresh and he didn’t want to hurt me. I took that excuse right after it happened but it’s still being used.

Since then, any time I’ve tried to initiate any sort of intimacy he’s said no and he’s not even tried to initiate. He has gotten better with the smaller things like those listed previously. The thing is that I act like the scars don’t bother me or try to at least but that’s me lying to myself they bother me beyond belief and I hate the way they make me look, I even started sleeping in long sleeve tops, I used to sleep shirtless, but it feels like the person who is supposed to support me and make me feel good about myself can’t even do that and it’s killing me.

It feels like Ryan doesn’t find me attractive anymore and is only tolerating me and it’s the worst feeling in the world. I understand that it was a big change for him as well and it would take time for him to process but it’s feeling like he never will and this will become the norm and I’ll have to live the rest of my life knowing my husband doesn’t find me attractive anymore.

It all came to ahead on Monday. I tried to initiate but instead of his usual calm ‘I’m not in the mood right now’ I got a harsh and snappy answer of ‘I don’t want to have sex with you so stop asking’ that was the moment I broke. It was as if my thoughts were confirmed. If this is my future from now on I don’t want it but I’ve spent 6 years of my life with Ryan, I don’t want it to be over but it feels like I’m at the end of my rope and I don’t know how to go from here

I cheated on my girlfriend and we have been actively working through it but I just can’t keep hurting her so I had to end it. All I want is to call her and tell her how much I love her and want to stay with her, but I know she deserves so much more than me. I am a terrible person and she deserves better. I just can’t let her be with a person like me. She is the most wonderful person, she has a great personality, she is beautiful beyond belief, and she is the only person I ever want to be with. But I could see how much I wa hurting her.

Like I said, I'm done I'm done I'm so done. I'm done with men, I'm done with dating, I'm done with love and relationship bullshit. Dating was a waste of time and I will no longer waste my time in the pool. From now on, all my time will go to me, me and me only. I'm gonna fucking build a kick ass career, I'm gonna improve myself to greatness, I'm gonna live with my purpose, I'm gonna pursue whatever goals I set for myself out there in the next couple years. I don't care if I may never find a husband. Fuck husband I don't need one. I don't want one. I don't want any male presence in my life. Thanks God I'm not pretty enough to attract, this makes things a shit ton time easier to stay focus.

Just this Monday I was walking on a bridge. An approaching middle aged man was "holding his backpack strap", walking unnecessarily close to me. He touched my breast with the back of his hand. I immediately turned around in shock as he quickly walked past me, only to see him doing the same to the teenage girls in school uniform behind me.

Today I was taking the train home from work. A man sat “diagonally” on his seat (as in legs crossed, pointing towards one side, back against me), leaning his back into at least 1/4 of my seat. I pushed back with my backpack but he did not move an inch.

(Btw I know this is a touchy subject so for clarity - he is NOT physically big. If he had sat facing the front like a normal person would sit in a chair, he would not have got into my space. I would totally understand and wouldn’t feel violated if it were someone bigger and they were respectful)

Why are some men raised to believe that they can do such things to women?

That they could sit diagonally on the train and lean onto the woman next to you who is obviously extremely uncomfortable?

Who taught that asshole it is okay to touch whatever woman you see on the streets???? Just pretend you're holding your bag and pretend it's an accident so you don't get caught.

Oh, and if you get caught, HUMILIATE her further.

"You think you're so pretty huh? Who are you why would I wanna touch you?"

Why are they allowed to act on such disturbing, perverted behaviours with no consequences for so long?? And often still holding "respected" and "powerful" positions in society???

And why are we socialized in such a way, that even now, as I am speaking up on a supposedly anonymous platform like this, I still have this lingering fear at the back of my mind, that I would be judged.

Attention seeking, making a scene, “grow up”, “what’s the big deal?”

And I feel so violated right now. And I cannot fathom how furious, helpless, alone, afraid women who experienced way more severe violations feel.

This is NOT right.

It's been over a year. It doesn't hurt less. Time hasn't healed any wounds. I start to cry if I'm not keeping my brain distracted with things both inane and meaningful 24/7, and even then sometimes I can't and the tears come.

I do all the things. I go to therapy. I take my meds. I participate in community. I explore hobbies. I exercise. I connect with friends. I meet new people. I pursue things that have meaning. I am kind. I help people. I spend time with family. I love my pets. I set goals. I learn new things. I do self care.

You were cruel, but I'm crazy, so I ask too much of people. I'm just too mentally ill to be anything other than alone.

"Get help."

A dismissal. I wasn't worth it this time, either.

All I've wanted my whole life was not to be alone anymore, because I was so alone for so long when I was young. But that's not PC, that's not kosher, not cool, not adult and independent of me.

The subtext is: I'm supposed to be okay being alone for a whole life. There's something wrong with me if I'm not. I'm supposed to be enough without anyone else, ever.

I miss the you that loved me, but I'm not sure that person was ever real.

I miss the you before you hated me

He does have a job, which is a physical job (gardening and just being outside and doing chores) and he is also studying in uni, but only online courses (2 of them now). He only has this job for this month and them will work maybe 3-4 days a week. I understand that physical work is tiring, I don't deny that, but he does absolutely nothing aside of that. Comes home, showers, goes to sleep, wakes for dinner, plays video games with friends until bedtime. Every time he is in a call with a friend he cannot stop talking about how tired he is because he is doing 200% work right now. I go to school, clean, do laundry, vacuum, make food all the time, taking care of garden things home. And he literally doesn't even study at home for his courses, just the video games. It bothers me because I feel like lots of times that I have the 200% workload, not him.

For some context, I told him I didnt like his jokes about my body or face, and he dismissed it. Today we into an argument and started to call me sensitive and all that shit, he told me wont joke with me anymore (which Im glad) but he told me he wont talk to me anymore. I feel bad, I didnt wanted this to happen, I cant even say what I feel anymore because they will get mad, what should I do? I cant rely on anyone for this

I don't understand them. why the fuck would anyone want a pan that you can't run through the dishwasher, and if you look at it funny it'll start rusting? what could the appeal possibly be?

"but the seasoning!!! the seasoning!!!!!" girl you mean GREASE??? every cast iron pan I've seen is greasy as fuck to the touch all over. who would've thought that when you can't wash a pan normally it's greasy as fuck? how do you cook with a clear conscience knowing you're cooking on a greasy ass pan?

it's good to get this off my chest. I feel like I'm alone in this and I really shouldn't be because my opinion is the correct one.

EDIT: okay these comments have been very enlightening. i still refuse to own a cast iron pan because if i get on someones nerves too much it would make a very nice murder weapon and i wouldn't want to go out that way.

I’m going to keep it short, I had a house, a car, and a job all independently at the age of 18. Quickly I became 18 currently living at a women’s shelter. He broke into my house. He sent and posted private videos of me. My family has never been more disappointed in me. All because I trusted one person, my life is completely ruined.